Charmed By Knight (The Fielding Brothers Saga) (32 page)

When Edmund hadn’t come to her room last night, she expected the worst. Now she suspected he regretted marrying her.

She placed her hand to rest on her lower stomach. The loss of Edmund’s child was evident. Her body ached from the life no longer inside. Another tear slipped down her cheek. She had not the strength to lift her hand and wipe it away this time. Her heart had been broken, and with it, her will to survive.

“Megan?” Bertha brought a tray of food over to the table. “Cook has prepared some soup for you. It smells delicious.”

“Thank you, Bertha, but I’m not hungry. Give my apologies, will you?”

“You have to eat to keep up your strength. If you don’t eat, you will be as weak as a newborn lamb.”

Megan leaned her head against the back of the cushioned chair and closed her eyes. “Please take it away. I’m not hungry.”

Bertha grumbled, but did as instructed. When the soft click of the door echoed through the room, Megan breathed a heavy sigh. All she wanted was to be left alone to wallow in her misery.

What am I to do now?

Going back to England was an option, but then she’d have to face the judgmental aristocrats...and her father. She didn’t have the strength, or the patience. Perhaps Jake would let her continue teaching school. She’d enjoyed it. Or, maybe she and Bertha could travel to another city and start a new life there.

Whatever she decided, Edmund wouldn’t be in her life. Her miscarriage proved he didn’t care about her. More tears fell and she cursed herself for not having better restraint over her emotions.

The door opened again, and heavier footsteps moved across the floor. As Edmund’s scent of spice and leather wafted through the air, her heart sprang with energy. Finding strength, she opened her eyes and turned in her chair.

Edmund stopped. For being holed up in his study almost a full day, he certainly didn’t look like it. Handsome as she’d seen him before, his face was cleanly shaven, his black hair slicked back on his head. But, a melting smile didn’t grace his face this time, and his eyes didn’t dance with excitement.

She held back a smile from her excitement over seeing him.
He doesn’t care.

“Good afternoon, Edmund. I’m grateful to see you managed to find the door to your study.”

“Why would you worry about me being there?”

“Considering you closed yourself to company and didn’t answer the servants, I wondered if you had some kind of accident.”

He shrugged. “Would you have cared if I had?”

Her chest tightened and it was as if a knife ripped through her skin to her heart.
Loving him hurt so much.
“Would
you
have cared if I’d cared?”

Without answering, he walked to the chair next to hers and sat. He crossed one leg over the other, and she couldn’t help but marvel over the shape of his muscles.

“I’m ready for you to tell me about the baby now.”

Her throat constricted and tears pooled in her eyes again, but she forced the emotions away. She wouldn’t show her weakness now. “What do you want me to say?”

His uncaring expression never wavered. Not even a blink from his unexpressed eyes. “Had you planned to tell me about the baby?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“I was going to tell you yesterday, before I miscarried.”

“Why had you not told me before?”

“Because I didn’t know how you would take the news.”

His jaw tightened and his hands gripped the arms of the chair. At least she saw some kind of reaction from him.

“Curse you, woman!” He jumped to his feet. “You should have told me right away, the very day I found you.”

Uncontrolled tears fell down her cheeks. “There was too much going on. I...I...I just couldn’t.”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe you. In fact, I’m beginning to think you were never going to tell me. I even wonder if you wanted to lose the baby.”

“No, Edmund.” She sobbed and reached for him, but he moved out of her grasp, back toward the door.

“Mrs. Knight, I think you should do as the physician instructed and stay in bed for the next few days. I won’t be around for company, for I have hired a few men to help me in the mine. That is where I will be if you happen to need me.” He bowed his head. “Good day, madam.”

He turned and walked out of the room, taking her heart with him. Megan stumbled to the bed and fell upon the blankets. She sobbed into her pillow, crying out the pain she wished he had taken with him.

* * * *

“Mistress, you have company.”

Megan peeled her swollen eyes open and stared up at Bertha. She reached up and adjusted the cold compact resting on her forehead.

“Did you tell whoever it is that I’m not taking visitors?”

“Yes, but she was most insistent.”

Megan scrunched her forehead. “She? Who is it?”

“Mrs. Williams, the mayor’s mother.”

Megan sighed and turned her head away from her maid. Now was not the time for a friendly visit. Jake’s kind and decent mother would understand. “I really don’t want to see her.”

“Yes, I know, but she says it’s extremely important.”

“Where is my husband?”

“Away from the house.”

Megan ran her fingers through her unkempt hair. “Is Jake with her?”

“No.”

She released a heavy sigh and lifted up on her elbows. “Fine. I will see her. Let her know that I’m not my best this morning, nor do I plan on being that way.”

Bertha nodded. “I have already told her that, but she still insisted on seeing you.”

“Then you had better let her in so we can get this visit over with.”

Megan scooted up on the bed, pulling up the blanket. Within minutes, the door opened and in walked Mrs. Williams. The older lady’s gray eyes were soft with concern, and a smile graced her lovely face.

“My dear, Megan. I have been overwrought with guilt since I heard about the baby.” She sat on the edge of the bed and grasped Megan’s hands.

“Thank you, Sally, but, you have nothing to feel guilty about. The doctor said it was due to the buggy accident.”

“Yes, but if I had insisted you stay at my house, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Megan patted the other woman’s hands. “No, I would have left anyway. I’m stubborn, too.”

Sally’s mouth quirked into a smile. “What can I do for you?”

“There is nothing you can do. My maid has seen to my needs.”

“What of your husband? Jake tells me he is not dead.”

Megan’s heartbeat quickened. “No, he’s not. It was a miracle, but he’s alive.”

Sally’s gaze swept the room before resting back on Megan. “Where is he now?”

“He is in town on business.”

The older woman tightened her clasp, yet there was a slight shake to her hands. Her eyes misted and her bottom lip quivered. “Megan, Jake also tells me your husband’s name is Edmund.”

Megan’s heart slammed against her ribs. “Yes.”

“My son was named Edmund as well.”

“Yes, you had mentioned that the other night at dinner.”

“I know you may think I have lost my mind, but...but I must know. I must see if your husband is my son.”

Megan’s breathing accelerated, and her own weakened limbs began to shake. “I really don’t think—”

“Please. I must see for myself.”

Megan squeezed her eyes closed. Edmund already hated her for not telling him about the baby. What if he discovered she knew about his real mother? She’d never obtain his love. Yet, the truth must come out. He must know his mother loved him.

She looked at the older woman and nodded. “Edmund’s father is Phillip Knight, Earl of
Thornwyck
.”

Sally gasped, her withered hand flying to her throat. “Phillip?”

Megan shrugged. “You’d said your husband was not a nobleman, but Edmund’s father is. I don’t know if they are the same man, but...” She bit her bottom lip, hesitant to go on.

“But, what?” Sally’s eyes widened, her hand gripped Megan’s tighter.

“I must admit, Edmund does look like you. He has your eyes, and your stubborn chin.”

Tears fell from Sally’s eyes. “Indeed?”

“Right after you’d told me your son’s name, I recognized the similarities.” She leaned forward. “But, Sally, I could still be wrong.”

“What...what was Edmund told about his mother?”

Megan frowned, remembering the pain in his eyes when he related his childhood memories and that awful scandal. “Edmund found out he was the bastard son of a nobleman at age ten.”

Keeping her voice from jittering, Megan retold the story. The more she told, the more tears streaked down the other woman’s face. A knot formed in Megan’s throat, but she forced herself to reveal everything.

Sally shook her head. “It was all a lie. Phillip kidnapped his own child and passed it off as another woman’s son. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I fear Lord
Thornwyck
must had been embarrassed about marrying beneath him.” Megan shrugged. “After the truth was out, Lord
Thornwyck
took to drinking spirits and became recluse. He didn’t even speak to Edmund. Not too long after that, Edmund went out
on his own
.”

Sally sobbed and covered her face.

Megan leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the older woman, pulling her against her body for support. “I didn’t mean to bring more heartache.”

Sally shook her head. “You didn’t, my dear.” She looked up at her. “I’m just thrilled I finally found my son.”

“What if he’s not?”

“No. The stories are too similar. Edmund has to be mine.”

A noise from the doorway startled Megan and she jerked her attention to the figure standing just inside her room.
Edmund
. She gasped.

Sally swung around and met his stare. His eyes were dark, brow creased and lips drawn.

Megan’s heart ached, yet beat with fear. How much had he heard? And would he blame her for everything?

Chapter Twenty

Edmund’s blood turned to ice. Megan knew. Mrs. Williams knew. This was not what he’d wanted. He clenched his hands by his side. By the widened-eyes on both women, he gathered they didn’t know he’d been standing there. His wife’s face lost color, but the older woman’s cheeks grew scarlet.

Mrs. Williams lifted off the bed and faced him. She brought her trembling hand to her mouth. “Oh, dear Lord. You look exactly like Phillip.”

Edmund’s heart wrenched and a knot formed in his dry throat. This was truly his mother. Was his father correct when he blabbered about his mother not being at fault?

He nodded. “Yes. Unfortunately, I inherited my father’s looks.”

The woman swayed then she lowered herself back to the bed, keeping her gaze fixed on him. “Do...do...do you know who I am?”

“Yes.”

She gasped again, and Megan’s verbal surprise joined with his mother’s.

He folded his arms across his chest. “Phillip informed me not too long ago about my birth mother’s existence.”

“You knew?” Megan asked, her voice small and shaky.

He looked at her. “The night of the scandal, he decided to visit me. In his drunken state, he rambled on about my mother, San Francisco, and it not being her fault. Before I left for the ball, I had my manservant contact a solicitor.” His gaze switched back to his mother. “I knew you were here.”

Tears trickled down the older woman’s cheeks. “I...I can’t believe...after all these years...” She sniffed. “People tried to convince me you were dead, but I didn’t believe.”

What should he say? His heart and mind were playing tug-of-war, each bringing on a different kind of pain. Did he really want to know the truth? After all this time, did he really want a mother?

The woman sniffed again. “Edmund, everything your father told you was a lie. He lied to me, too. I didn’t know he was an Earl. I thought he was dead.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I’m aware of that.”

“But Edmund,” Megan spoke, keeping her voice soft, “you’re not who you think you are. Your parents were indeed married.”

Relief flooded through him, making the knot in his throat bigger and harder to swallow.
I’m not a bastard son!
Yet, he’d believed it all these years and gone through life accordingly. How could he change? Being the bastard son of a nobleman was his identity.

His skull throbbed with confusion, and he rubbed his forehead. Squeezing his eyes closed, he willed the agony to disappear. He cursed this moment for not being a dream...the dream he’d had since he was ten years old.

The floor squeaked and he snapped his eyes open. His mother came toward him, her hand outstretched. “Edmund—”

He squared his shoulders and held out his hand to stop her. “Don’t.” He shook his head. “Please, don’t say anymore. Don’t touch me. Just leave me alone.”

Tears gathered in his eyes and he swung around and stormed out of the room before anyone would notice, and before he could show his vulnerability.