Losing Control (7 page)

“What did you say?”

“I said I love you, Fawn.”

“Everyone says that after sex, don’t
they?”

“Maybe. But I mean it.”

She sighed, tears drew up in her
eyes. He hugged her, kissed the salty liquid from her cheeks.

The blare of a siren brought them
abruptly back into the real world. Taury leaped up; peered out the bathroom
window which was on the front of the beach house. Fawn joined him. There was a
police car parked up at the bungalow. Stephanie was on the patio, pointing at
the sea and talking to two cops.

“Oh my God!” Fawn gasped. “I can just
imagine what she’s telling them! I’ve got to get up there!”

“I’ll go with you.”

She threw her clothes on, as did he.
After a quick face wash and hair-brushing they hit the back door running.

Stephanie saw them rushing towards
her; the look on her face changed from quizzical to shocked to utter
humiliation.

“There you are! Damn, Fawn, you had
me worried out of my mind!”

“I’m sorry, Steph. But you can see
I’m all right. And Taury is, too.”

“Yeah, I can see that you’re both
very all right.” She turned to the cops, who were both frowning. “I’m terribly
sorry, guys. I guess my cousin stayed somewhere else last night.”

“Well, I’m glad she’s safe, but maybe
you could check around first before you get us out on a wild goose chase, Ms.
Hamilton?”

“Sure, Jerry. I’ll do that. Thanks
for your time.”

“Right!” the other one said. “See you
in court.”

She smiled; waved as they left, then
she turned a knowing eye on the couple.

“I came up here to tell you that
Taury hadn’t been hurt in that wreck. Then I arrive and find your French doors
wide open, you nowhere in sight, and your brand new high heels abandoned by the
path.”

“So you thought I must’ve gone batty
and drowned myself in the sea?”

“That, or you’d been kidnapped!”

“Well, I sort of was, wasn’t I?” she
asked Taury.

He grinned.

“Devils, it’s easy to see what you’ve
been doing! But I’m not angry. I’m thrilled! I knew you two belonged together.”

Fawn shrugged like a shy teenager.
Taury slid his arm around her waist and sighed, rooster proud.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m
hungry!” he announced. “You got any breakfast food in your house?”

“Not really, if you mean eggs and
bacon and such; I’m more of a nibbler in the morning.”

“You got that right!”

Stephanie laughed out loud as Fawn
cringed.

“I didn’t mean…”

“We know, Fawn; he was only joking.
Taury, I hope you can lighten this girl up. She’s been way too serious for most
of her life.”

“I’m going to try. My kitchen is
totally gutted. I guess I could run over to the market and get a bunch of stuff
to cook here. Be right back!”

He kissed Fawn so hard he took her
breath with him. Then he flew down the pathway. They soon heard the roar of his
truck, watched him fly through the gates of the beach house drive and
disappear.

“Quite a boy!” Stephanie said,
smiling. “Was he any good? No, don’t answer that. I can see it in your face.
I’m so happy for you, Fawn! He seems like he’s truly crazy about you.”

“God, I hope so, Steph! I don’t think
I could bear it if he was playing me.”

“It’s that deep, so fast?”

“Yes, just like Connie and Beau. I
think I could forget everything I’ve ever dreamed about, as long as I could
spend the rest of my days and nights with Taury. He makes me feel beautiful,
and loved. I’ve never had that, not as a child, or a wife.”

“I know the feeling. It’s the way I
am with Tom. I’ve done some real soul-searching since I met him, Fawn.” She
paused, her gaze drifted out to the brilliantly blue ocean. “I’ve realized I
only became a lawyer to please my dad. He wanted me to do something important
with my life. But babysitting petulant celebrities while they go through
divorces and DUIs and God knows what else isn’t very important, not to me. I’m
at a crossroads in my life. I want to be with Tom. He asked me to fly over for
the French Open, and I can’t find any reason not to go.”

“Then go! You’re always telling me to
follow my heart. Follow yours!”

Stephanie stared at her a moment then
hugged her tightly.

“I will! God Damn it! Denise can
handle all my cases. She’s been wanting to take on another partner. I think she
knew before I did that I needed to get out of this game. Tell Taury I’ll take a
rain check on that breakfast. I’ve got a plane to catch!”

She hugged Fawn again then sped off
in her car.

Fawn took a deep breath. So much was
happening so quickly. The last year had passed creakingly, achingly slow.
Sometimes she had wondered if her divorce would ever be final. And the dream of
living free in Connie’s house had seemed just that. But here she was, suddenly,
in the midst of that dream, with the added excitement of a new love, and
watching her cousin take off into a dream of her own. Could life get any
better?

EIGHT

The next few weeks Fawn felt like
she’d died a sweet death and gone to Heaven. Taury was so accepting of her; it
amazed and thrilled her that anyone could be so gentle and kind and
understanding. He encouraged her to talk about her life; her childhood sorrows
and tribulations, her stolid marriage and hopeless attempts to revive it by
going through numerous in vitro pregnancies and miscarriages.

He honestly listened to her, and gave
her subtle hints about his own miseries, though he never actually came out and
described them. She wondered why, asked him outright. He merely sighed and said
nothing he had experienced could compare to her troubles, and then swiftly changed
the subject.

Taury’s cell phone rang often; mostly
assistants lining up meetings for him in San Francisco or Los Angeles. Meetings
he would reluctantly fly or drive off to, promising to return before dawn,
which he always did. Unlike Richard, Taury never broke a promise to her.

One night he said, “I can’t promise I
won’t leave you, but I can promise that I’ll always come back!”

“You can’t swear to that, either,
darling,” she had reasoned. “Only Fate knows if you will come back. Every time
you go out that door I worry. Connie thought Beau would be hers forever and she
lost him. But she was a strong woman. She could accept a life without him. I’m
not sure I could exist now without you.”

He had swallowed her worries for the
moment in a devouring kiss. Yet the old Fawn still lurked within her,
frightened of unknown horrors and writhing in the throes of threatening
nightmares. But this time when she woke in a fit of despair, clutching at the
covers and crying out, Taury was there to surround her in warmth and certainty,
kissing and coercing the pain away.

She and Taury spent their days
renovating the beach house. It was becoming a beauty again, under their careful
guidance. They replaced water-damaged walls and sanded and re-stained the pine
floors. Then they replaced all the kitchen cabinets with vintage white ones,
quite similar to the ones in her bungalow, and they found antique but working
appliances to match. Taury installed white marble countertops over the kitchen
cabinets, and ripped out the broken tiles in Fawn’s kitchen, and added marble
there as well.

Once that was done, Taury rebuilt a
crumbling fireplace in the beach house living room, and Fawn decorated it with
some original Malibu tiles with white, blue and yellow flowers that they had
found at a flea market.

They had a blast traveling all over
Southern California in his truck, buying up quaint shabby chic furniture as
well as some classier antiques, and filling the house with them. It was a big
place. You entered a giant carved wood front door with an arched top. On the
left there was a guest room, on the right a bath, then another guest room with
its own bath that had been her mother’s room as a child. Down a long, wide
hallway you came to an open living room where the fireplace stood, a small study
full of bookshelves, and the large kitchen. To its right were the laundry and
garage, and to the left of the living room were the main bedroom and its bath.
Fawn loved this room; it had its own little fireplace and sitting area. She
could imagine her grandparents hanging out there on a chilly winter’s night,
curled up by the fire, reading their beloved mystery novels, several of which
Fawn still had, in a narrow bookcase in her own living room.
Rebecca
was
her favorite; had been Connie’s, too.

Frank and Jimmy De Paolo came over
often, helping them out with design ideas and elbow grease. And the Finches,
George, a retired stage director, and Molly, a seamstress for the studio prop
departments back in the day – who had lived in their own hill-top bungalow for
thirty years – brought trays of cookies and scones as well as offering their
services as cat sitters whenever necessary. The cats seemed to love them as
much as they had Connie and Emmy. Fawn had to admit things weren’t working out
between her and the cats, though they had their moments of affection. But she
was so wound up in Taury there was no room for anyone else. She finally let the
Finches talk her into giving the cats to them.

Life became full and sure and happy.
Stephanie called her every few days or so, expounding on the joys of being free
and in love. And Fawn could match her word for word – life could not have been
sweeter.

Of course, her parents tried,
unsuccessfully, to shame her once they learned she was seeing a man so soon
after her divorce. She wouldn’t have told them at all, knowing exactly how they
would act, but during a rare phone exchange June had mentioned that Richard was
back in San Diego, hoping to get in touch with her.

“Why would I want to talk to him,
Mom?” she asked.

“Because he was your husband for four
years, Fawn. You have an obligation.”

“I have no obligations to that jerk!
He’s the one who walked out, remember? And God I am so glad he did!”

“How can you say that? His leaving
made you out a failure.”

“I am not a failure!”

“You couldn’t hold a man, Fawn. I
wouldn’t call that being a success as a woman.”

“I couldn’t hold him because I didn’t
truly love him. But I have a real love now, and I’m holding him just fine,
thank you!”

She flicked her head back in anguish
as soon as the words flew out of her mouth. There was silence at the other end
of the phone.

“Who is this man?” her mother finally
questioned in a low, disturbing voice.

“He’s a businessman,” Fawn said. “His
family owns a candy company upstate.”

“Really? Where you ever going to tell
us about him? Or bring him around for a visit?”

“We’ve been terribly busy, Mom. He
owns Connie’s old beach house, and I’ve been helping him restore it.”

Again, the silence; Fawn thought her
mother had hung up then she heard a stifled sigh.

“You mean that Trahern boy? We know
all about him. I keep careful tabs on what happens to my childhood home.”

“Yes, his name is Trahern. But I
don’t get why you’d care about that house. You were so unhappy there.”

“I had always dreamed of living in
that house myself, and raising my children there after Connie was gone. I was
devastated when she sold it to the Traherns!”

“I had no idea. And I’m sure Connie
didn’t either.”

“Well, never mind that. This boy, so
you’re sleeping with him already? Are you a gold digger now, Fawn?”

“I can’t sit here and listen to this.
You have no idea what is going on between us, but I can tell you one thing …
Taury Trahern is no boy, he’s more of a real man than Richard will ever be!”

“I’m sorry to hear you talk like
that. But I’m sure it’s from that boy’s bad influence. He’s probably a rich
thug.”

“I cannot believe you! For once I
thought we could have a civil conversation, but God was I wrong!”

Fawn began to cry.

Taury had been sitting beside her,
fidgeting as he listened to her side of the call. He had stood it as long as he
could, but once the tears fell, he made his move. He took the phone from her.

“Hello, Mrs. Brennan. This is Taury
Trahern. I would like to meet you someday, when you are capable of enjoying
Fawn’s happiness. But right now, you’re upsetting her, and I won’t let that
continue. I’m having her phone disconnected. If you want to keep in touch, you
can talk to me. My number is 555-4576549.”