First Love (Complicated Love Book 1) (7 page)

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you.” I keep saying this, but I don’t know how else to tell him I’m truly sorry for running away from him.

“As I said earlier, don’t feel sorry. You had no idea it wasn’t me. I love the fact that you reacted to it. It tells me you really do care about me.”

Tonight couldn’t have gone any better. I’m so happy we’re finally getting back on track to us and actually getting some quality time together. It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything like this.

“Well, why don’t we head to bed? Tomorrow, we can go hang with our friends,” I say.

While I forgave him tonight, I still have doubts in my mind. I don’t want to be this frustrating girl who believes one minute and then doesn’t the next, but getting my brain to believe what my heart does is proving difficult. In my heart, I know he’d never cheat, but my brain saw it all playing out.

“Sounds good. There’s only one guest room, so I’ll grab a pillow and a blanket and sleep on the couch,” Brian says.

I like that he didn’t assume we’d be sleeping together. Although I don’t want him to sleep on the couch, I’m not ready to instantly hop back into bed with him because I haven’t seen this proof. While my heart believes him, my brain won’t be able to until I see the proof.

“Brian, there isn’t any reason you can’t sleep in the bed with me. But I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.”

“I only want to hold you in my arms tonight. Being away from you last night was really hard.”

Getting into bed, I start to feel like everything is finally falling into place. It doesn’t take long before I drift off to sleep. There is nothing better than falling asleep on the chest of your man. Nothing.

Well, one thing, but I’m the idiot who put the kibosh on that.

W
aking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee is heaven. Well, there is one thing more heavenly, and that is waking up in Brian’s arms and having freshly brewed coffee delivered to you in bed, but I can’t be in Brian’s arms and have him delivery me coffee at the same time.

“Hey, Brian? We should probably get up. Shawna and Frank must be home. I can smell coffee, and I need some.” 

“I’m awake. I’ve been awake for a while. I had trouble sleeping. I kept checking to make sure you were really in my arms and I wasn’t dreaming.” 

Aww, my poor guy. “I’m sorry. I feel bad that we’ve both suffered. Know this: I am here for you and with you. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

Before we can even get out of bed, someone pounds on the door. Then we hear Shawna say, “Get up. It’s time to get a move on. We have people to do and things to see.”

“Don’t you mean people to see and things to do?” Brian counters.

“Nope, I said it right. Now, get out of bed and let’s go.”

“We’re up, and we’ll be out in a minute.”  I really want coffee, but before I can even get out of bed, Brian pulls me back against his chest.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Coffee. I must have coffee.”

“You and your coffee. I need lots of things and I don’t see me getting them. So, why should you get coffee?”

“If you value your life, you’ll let me up to get coffee.”

“Fine. I’ll go take a cold shower, then. I’ll be right out,” he says, getting out of bed and heading to the shower.

I feel bad, but I won’t let him back in fully until I have my proof.

When I walk into the kitchen, I’m greeted by Shawna and Frank, who are at the table, talking.

“So, what do you guys want to do today?” I ask. “I figured we’d stay in town for the day and hang out.” I grab the biggest mug I can find and pour myself some coffee. Then I sit with Shawna and Frank.

“Oh, that sounds awesome. We haven’t done something together in a long time. Why don’t we do something fun so that we can all act like a bunch of kids,” Shawna replies.

“You always act like a kid, so that’s nothing new,” Brian says, walking into the kitchen.

“Hey now. You and Donna are always right there, acting like kids with me,” Shawna says.

“Yes, we are. Why be an adult when you can be a kid?” I say.

Shawna claps and bounces in her seat.

“Okay, give me ten minutes to get ready. Come on, Brian.” I grab his hand and pull him along with me. Once in the room, I say, “Hey, are you still all right with hanging out today then heading home tonight?”

He takes a deep breath. “As much as I want to clear the air with my father, I know how much you miss Shawna and want to spend time with her. Plus…” He reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers. “We both could use a day of fun to clear our heads, don’t you think?”

“I do, but…”

He’s being so considerate, so sweet, putting my needs before his.

I squeeze his fingers. “I don’t want you to be stressed and worrying over what is going on back home.”

“That won’t be a problem once we get out and the fun begins.” He grins.

I love his playful, infectious grin. When haven’t we had a great time when he gives me that grin?

I jiggle our clasped hands. “You’re right. Let’s enjoy the day with Shawna and Frank before we make a mess of everything back home.”

So many emotions are flowing through me right now, and so much of our life is up in the air that I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. But, sometimes, when the going gets tough, all you can do is laugh.

“You know I enjoy spending the day with you, and we might as well take advantage of having our best friends with us. We can leave after dinner, drive a few hours, then get a room and talk some more. We should probably figure out what we’re going to do. We don’t have to make any set plans. Just talk it over a little.”

“Sounds good to me. Now, let’s go see if they're ready to begin a day of fun.” I turn to walk out the door.

Before I can reach it, he grabs me, spins me around, and kisses me again. This time, I don’t fight it. I kiss him back like he’s the air I need to breathe. I moan into his mouth when he sucks on my bottom lip. I need to stop this, but I’m having trouble pushing him away. It’s been too long since I’ve had him.

There’s a pounding on the door.

“Hey, none of that funny business in my house! Donna, you’re supposed to be spending quality time with me, so get your ass out here right now.” 

God, I love this woman. There’s a reason we’re best friends. She’s always there for me, and she seems to be my sense of reason—even when I may not want her to be. I’d much rather jump into bed with Brian right this minute, but it isn’t the time or the place. I need to spend as much time with Shawna as I can.

“We’re coming,” I reply.

“Haha, I bet you were,” Shawna says with a laugh.

“Fuck, she’s such a cock blocker,” Brian mumbles.

I laugh until tears stream down my face because it’s so like Shawna to cock-block him. It reminds me of our days in college when she’d storm in on us in the dorm even though I asked her to stay away.

“Brian, I heard that. I know you guys nicknamed me cock blocker in college, and I’m proud of the title. Now, get your asses out here. We’re going to have fun, eat dinner, and then send you lovebirds on your way.”

“I don’t know how I live without her next to me. I need to move closer to her or get her to move closer to me.” I look at Brian, who looks worried. I don’t want him to think I blame him for not seeing Shawna anymore. “Please don’t respond to that comment. Today is about fun, not our problems. Let’s go cause trouble.” I lean over and give him a quick peck on the cheek. “It’s been a long time since the three of us went out and caused trouble. We’re due, and we need to initiate Frank into our group and become the Fearsome Foursome. We’ll probably have to teach him how to be a troublemaker like we had to teach you.”

I
’m starving after the amazing day we’ve had. I love that we got to spend the day with Shawna and Frank. I can’t wait for them to come up and visit.

“So, Shawna, what was your favorite part of the day?  As I’m sure you all know, mine was the Big Game Safari shooting game. I love that I can school you all,” I say, laughing.

“Oh, mine was the parade.”

“The parade, hands down,” Brian and Frank say at the same time.

“It was the best. I can’t believe I actually made it onto Mickey’s float before they noticed and we had to bail. Or,

more accurately, I had to jump off and hide in the crowd,” Shawna says while laughing loudly. Today was a blast. It was nice to be free of the stress of life, and to let go. It’s been a long time since I’ve had so much fun.

“Shawna, not so loud. You’re going to get us kicked out of the restaurant,” I say, trying to be stern but failing miserably as I crumble into a fit of laughter.

“Brian, how did you survive with these two? They are full of shit, and I’m shocked they’ve never been arrested for some of the stuff they’ve done.”

“Oh, Frank, don’t let Brian fool you! He’s the mastermind of some of that crazy stuff. If you remember, he’s the one who suggested we get on the Mickey float,” Shawna says.

Tuning out everyone else, I think about the best part of the day. The part that was better than beating everyone at shooting—the motorboat cruise. Brian and I made sure we didn’t have to share a boat. While it isn’t the best ride for excitement, it did give us time alone together to enjoy each other's company. We didn’t talk much because Brian had other plans in mind. He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Imagine we’re in Paris, the most romantic city.”

He didn’t give me a chance to respond to him before his mouth was on mine. I tuned the world out. It was only us. His tongue didn’t waste any time before pressing into my mouth. Our tongues dueled for control. I wanted more from him. I slowly worked my hand down his stomach, but he stopped me. I tried to pull away from the kiss, but he wouldn’t let me, continuing to kiss me like I was his everything. Finally, he kissed down my neck then back up to my ear and whispered, “This will be continued tonight.” 

“Donna, what has your face all flushed?” Shawna asks.

“Just thinking about today and the amazing time we all had.”

“It was a great time. Now for some food and drinks to finish the night off,” Frank says.

I love that Frank fits into our group. It’s been the three of us for so long that I was beginning to think we’d never get a fourth. I’m happy Shawna found a great man. By far, he’s the best boyfriend she’s ever had. I really hope these two can make it.

“We have something to tell you, and I’m not sure if you’ll be happy about it,” Shawna says. “You already know we’re getting married, but you don’t know we’re moving to Wisconsin in a few weeks. Frank has an opportunity to work for a great law firm there. He hasn’t been able to find much here, and we don’t want him to wait around to find one. You know that I love Wisconsin. It would even be better if he could get me season tickets to the Green Bay Packers games.”

Shawna said that last part with stars in her eyes, but I don’t feel happy for her. “What? You’re moving even farther away?  I thought California was bad enough. Now, we’ll never get to see each other,” I mumble, knowing I’m being a bitch. I should be happy Frank has a great job opportunity and he wants to take care of Shawna.

“Hey, it’s not going to be like that,” Shawna says.

See, now, I’ve made her cry, but we should be celebrating her engagement. Did I say that I’m a bitch? I really need to stop thinking about only me and start thinking about others.

“Donna, I know you don’t want us to move away, but what if there was a possibility you can move with Shawna?” Frank asks.

I’m not sure why he’d ask, because I doubt it’s really a possibility. Brian said he may leave his dad’s firm, but I don’t know if he really will.

“Frank, what are you saying?” I ask, not wanting to assume he's saying there's another opening for Brian.

“Brian, I was going to tell you this later, but I figured it best to spit it out now. The firm that hired me is looking for another lawyer. I may be able to get them to look at you. It could be a great opportunity for both of us.”

I look at Brian the whole time Frank is talking, hoping I can see what he’s thinking. His face is like stone though, so I can’t. I was hoping he’d be smiling and excited about the chance.