Bittersweet (6 page)

“Actually, no.”

“No?” That shocked her more. Was she the first? No, she couldn’t ask him that. “Well then, since it’s not a regular occurrence, I think I have a right to be nervous. I’m sure your parents are wonderful, but meeting parents is also a big deal. I’ve told you this before.”

“Look, Jenna, if ye’r this upset ’bout it, I’ll just cancel.”

“Don’t you dare,” she snapped, peeking around the curtain. “You’ve already accepted, and I don’t want you to. Parents are a big deal, yes, but they’re also important. You’re important, and I’d hate to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

He smiled and yanked the shower curtain open farther to kiss her. “Did ye just say I was important?” He looked flattered. “I like the sound of that.”

“Hey,” she shrieked and then laughed when he put her hand on his erection. “That will have to wait,” she teased with a mock pout. “I’m meeting your mother. You have to give a girl some time to look her best.”

He sighed and looked down at his stiff cock. “Damn, I should have said no when she invited us. What am I to do now?”

Jenna shrugged and laughed at his sullen expression. He had a tent pole in his boxers that he needed to get rid of, and there was only one way that was going to happen. “All right, then. Come here, big boy.”

***

“Ye’r beautiful when ye fidget,” he whispered and looked as though he was enjoying the moment.

His parents must have seen them coming. As soon as they approached the door, his father was there to greet them. She moved forward quickly to extend her hand. “Hello, Charles, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Likewise, my dear. I’m just glad his ma’s naggin’ finally convinced him to bring ye.” He chuckled when Brady gave him an eye roll and proceeded to lead them to Sarah, his mother.

The back patio came into view, and Jenna could see her in the distance. She smiled at the sight of Sarah and took notice of Brady staring. She winked to let him know she was okay, but he surprised her when he tugged on her hand, bringing them to a complete stop.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I have to say that I’m a little disappointed. I thought I’d get to enjoy yer comical side some more, but ye seem so comfortable now. Then again, it’s still pretty funny to see my ma so nervous.”

Meeting Sarah was interesting. She was a lovely woman, tiny at a whole four feet eleven inches and slim, with shoulder-length salt-and-pepper hair and beautiful green eyes. She was also completely worshipped by the men in her life.

Brady was the youngest of three and a momma’s boy. Having one of those herself, Jenna admired him for it. His two older sisters were both married and living abroad. They all seemed to be close, and Jenna was proud to be a part of this family even if only for a short time.

They had just finished eating when Sarah asked, “So where are ye from?”

“Staten Island.”

“Interestin’, I can’t say that I’ve ever been—”

“So tell me, Jenna,” Charles said, “have ye ever considered movin’?”

“Da,” Brady snapped, giving his father the evil eye. “’Tis no time to play cupid.”

Jenna tried not to smile at the obvious setup. Ignoring Brady, she answered for herself. “It’s a little complicated, but I’ve honestly never really thought about it before. Staten Island has been my home for the last six years.”

“But ’tis not a no.”

Brady groaned his embarrassment and Jenna chuckled.

“So tell me ’bout the complications, me dear.” Sarah patted Jenna on the arm and ignored her son’s next protest. Jenna was having a blast watching Brady squirm, and they were all innocent enough questions.

“Well, I have a four-year-old son. It would be complicated mostly because of him, and my parents are not that far away if I need them.”

“And the boy’s father?” she questioned, then hushed Brady again.

Another innocent question, but a painful one. Jenna’s face flushed, and she tried to keep it together. “He died. Um, will you excuse me, please? I think I need to use the ladies’ room.”

She needed a minute and didn’t wait around for their answer before leaving the table. Their house was so huge that it took her a few minutes to find the restroom. She’d just finished splashing her face with cold water when someone tapped at the door.

“Jenna, love, it’s Sarah. May I join ye in the jacks for a moment?”

As soon as the door opened, his mother pushed her way in to embrace her. “I’m sorry, dear. I had no idea. Please understand I only asked ye because I had to know for my son’s sake that there was no one else in yer life. I think Brady loves ye, and I don’t want to see my boy hurt.”

Jenna stiffened and went over what she’d just said.
I think Brady loves ye
played over in her head, and it took her a moment to respond. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten emotional. It was just so hard for such a long time. Tyler was a good man, and I still miss him, but it’s time to move on, and being with Brady has shown me that I can.”

“Of course ye can, love.”

Jenna smiled and hugged Sarah again. “Thank you for checking in on me. You’re very understanding, and that means so much. Believe me, I can understand having the best intentions when it comes to a son, and I admire the closeness you obviously share.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” Sarah guffawed. “And I’m glad all can be forgiven, but we better get back, my dear, or my poor son will soon die of a heart attack waitin’. He was not very impressed when I came after ye myself. He’s worried I’d upset ye.”

Jenna nodded. “Wait, just one more thing…”

“Well, come on then, out with it.”

“He loves me?”

Sarah laughed loudly for such a small woman, and it made Jenna laugh with her. “Aye, my dear, I believe he does, and I believe ye love him too.”

***

“So what did she say? Are ye all right?” They were halfway back to his house when Brady stopped to give her another hug.

“I’m fine, Brady, really.” She stepped back and held his hand. “She mostly came to see if I was okay. She was concerned she’d upset me, like you are. We both agreed that having a son is a blessing.” Okay, that hadn’t actually been said out loud, but it was there through the mutual understanding they’d shared. Sarah loved Brady in the same way Jenna adored Jayden. She cupped his face. “And she told me she thought you loved me.”

“What?”

They were in the house by then, and she could tell he was shocked and embarrassed. He obviously wasn’t expecting one of his parents to declare his love.

“Feck!” He began to pace, raking his fingers through his hair. “If I loved ye, I could damn well tell ye myself, when I was ready. Bloody meddlin’ parents need to shut their holes,” he muttered.

“So then you don’t?” she questioned and raised a brow. She was curious now that she’d brought it up. Her feelings for Brady were only starting to surface, although she was just beginning to admit them to herself. But love?

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I care about ye a lot, and it scares the shite outta me ’cause I’ve never cared like this before. I’m confused, love, but when I figure it out, I’ll be sure to let ye know.” He shrugged. “Christ, I hope that’s enough for ye right now. I’m not ready to let ye go yet.”

“Well, at least you’re honest.” She was still not sure about her feelings, so how could she expect anything more from him? He cared, and that’s what mattered.

“So we’re okay, then?”

“Yes.” She took a step closer. “And you finally believe that I’m all right?” He nodded and she moved closer yet again. “Good, because I want to show you how good I feel.” She stood in front of him now. “Or better yet…” She brushed her lips across his. “We could show each other.”

Her kiss was sure. She tasted him easily and eagerly. She slid her tongue against his; their breath was hot, and her excitement skyrocketed. The dampness between her legs increased with each passing moment.

He gave her an approving growl and hiked up her skirt before he lifted her onto the kitchen counter for easier access. As he moved her underwear aside, his need seemed to become desperate and feral.

Jenna moaned with pleasure when Brady stroked her moist center, then arched her hips forward and nearly climaxed when he entered her. He wasn’t gentle as he pumped her hard and fast. He grazed the hollow of her throat and took a bite while he rammed her as hard as he could. She gasped and panted for air, then did something she’d never expected.

Acting on instincts and without thinking it through, she pressed her lips against his ear and whispered, “I love you.”

Chapter Seven

Her words just sort of slipped out unintentionally. He’d been so eager and insatiable, and she couldn’t seem to get enough of him, either, so it felt good to think that they shared the same need for each other. Damn, but why did she have to go and say the
L
word? What the hell was wrong with her? She felt like an idiot.

His whole body went tense as soon as she said those three stupid words. His only reply was a kiss, and she assumed it was meant to keep her occupied so he wouldn’t have to answer. She loved him, had said it, and knew he was pretty sure that she meant it. Christ, he should be happy, so why was he freaked out?

He obviously wasn’t ready to say it back and didn’t want to hurt her.
Damn it.

Brady began to give it to her harder. Despite the minor disturbance her words had caused, and his lack of response, she was still wet, and he felt so good while he impaled her.
Here we go, oh yeah.

“Jennaaa,” he moaned, shuddering his release, and she wasn’t far behind in joining him.

As he carried her upstairs to his bedroom in the awkward silence that followed, she clung to him, laying her head against his shoulder. She could feel the heat in her cheeks.

He laid her gently on his bed and brought her chin up so he could look her in the eye. “Are ye okay?”

Jenna nodded but turned over. God, she hadn’t been this embarrassed in years. This was worse than walking in on Sam and Caleb. “I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.” She pulled the blanket up to cover herself more. Shit, she should probably just leave to save face but couldn’t.

“Jenna, I…” He seemed to be at a loss for words right then. Was he going to pretend as though it hadn’t happened, or would he finally face it?

She felt the mattress move as he joined her and cuddled her close to him. “It’s okay, Brady. I’m fine.” She patted his hand and closed her eyes, hoping sleep would soon consume her. She needed a break from her conscience and an escape from herself at the moment. Tonight had been one hell of an emotional clusterfuck.

“Are ye asleep yet?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

“No.” She laughed. “Sorry.”

He lifted up on his elbows to give her the full effect of his hypnotic glare. God, this man had the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.

“What?” She couldn’t bear to have a staring contest, so she pulled the blankets over her head. “I hate when you do that. You drive me insane when you get that intense look. What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinkin’ ’bout ye, actually.” He laughed. “Feck, I don’t know how to explain.”

“Then don’t, but please for the love of God, get that serious look off your face. I mean, I love that you look at me and that you want me around—what woman wouldn’t? But that look—gah!” She threw the blanket off and cuddled up to him.

He laughed harder. “Do I make ye nervous, love?”

“Sometimes.”

“Am I makin’ ye nervous now?”

“Yes.”

“But ye love when I look at ye and bein’ here with me?” She nodded. “Ye sure do love a lot of things, don’t ye?”

“Brady, I…I…” She was at a loss for words and wanted to cry. Even better, she wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. “I guess I do,” she whispered and got out of bed.

“Hey, where ye goin’?”

“Downstairs. I need to find my clothes.” She began to cry and had to get out of his sight to pull herself together.
Shit, shit, shit.
She just had to go and ruin everything with her stupid declaration. Why did she have to tell him that she loved him, why?

“Ugh, Jenna you’re an idiot,” she mumbled and slapped her palm against her forehead as she left the room to go down the stairs.

“I disagree.”

She jumped at the sound of his voice. She’d been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn’t heard him follow behind her. She found her clothes and her overnight bag and still debated if she should go.

“Ye’r cryin’,” he said, and she looked back at him quickly before continuing what she was doing. He looked appalled, and she hated herself for it.

“I’m fine.”

“Jenna, please, love. I’m sorry if I hurt ye.”

“No, I’m sorry for ruining everything. I told you that I loved you, and you threw it back in my face.” She did the best Brady impression she could. “Ye sure do love a lot of things, don’t ye.” She grimaced. “I think it might be best if I just go before we both say things we might regret.”

“Probably.” He nodded. “I really am sorry if I hurt ye.”

Jenna nodded back after grabbing her bag and headed toward the phone to tear a page from his phone book. She needed a cab, and she wasn’t about to wait for one there. “Well, you just did,” she whispered, and with that she slammed the door behind her and ran into the night.

“Jenna, wait. Jenna, please—shite, feck.”

She stopped when she was far enough away and watched as he banged his head against the doorway as if in frustration and then closed it behind him after going back in again. Would he come after her?

She waited at the end of his parents’ driveway and hoped she was out of sight of either house. Thank God she had brought her cell phone. She called for a cab, gave the dispatcher the address, and told them she’d be waiting outside.

The sky looked so beautiful at night. Jenna sat in the dirt, rested her hands loosely over her knees, and admired the stars. God, it was amazing and so peaceful here. She wished she had a camera. You couldn’t get this view in the city where she lived, and you definitely couldn’t get the quiet in New York. She sighed, wondering how her life had gotten so screwed up. She missed Jayden, Tyler was gone for good, Sam was going through enough stress of her own, her parents were far away, and she’d gone and screwed things up with Brady.

From the corner of her eye saw Brady’s door open and close again. He was fully dressed and headed toward his car.
Damn, where is that taxi?
She leaned farther into the bushes, hoping he wouldn’t see her, and watched his tail lights fade as he drove by. She was in the clear to come out of hiding, and it didn’t take long before her taxi finally pulled up, but now what should she do?

***

No one seemed to have noticed that she’d camped out in her hotel room for the last two days. Brady hadn’t called, and Sam didn’t stop by until the third morning.

“Jenna, open up. It’s Sam,” she called while banging on her door. Jenna felt like groaning as she opened it, and did when she was greeted with, “You look like shit.”

“How very flattering, Sam,” she snapped and slammed the door after her friend walked in. “Why thank you for the comment, and if you must know, I feel like shit. So I think I’m entitled to look like it too, considering I’ve been here for two days and nobody’s cared to notice.”

“Two days?”

Jenna nodded and was about to break down again. God, she hadn’t cried this much since the night they’d decided to take this trip, and it didn’t feel very good.

“I’m sorry, Jenna. I just assumed you were with Brady. I only realized you were here because Brady asked how you were when he came to pick up Caleb to head to the pub.”

As soon as Sam mentioned Brady, Jenna started bawling like a blubbering idiot. “And what did you say?” She sniffed away the snot that was trying to leak from her nose and wiped her eyes.

“Nothing. What could I say? I told him I hadn’t seen you in a few days and thought you were with him. He looked like he felt guilty, and then I knew something was up. I’m sorry, Jenna. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” she said, then changed her mind. “Yes. I finally opened up, Sam, and he threw it back in my face. We were great together, and I screwed it up.”

“Aw, Jenna, it can’t be that bad, hun. Tell me about it.”

“We spent the evening at his parents’ and had a lovely time. Anyway, they asked me about Tyler, and I got choked up for a minute, so I excused myself and then had a wonderful heart-to-heart with his mother when she followed me. We went back to his place after our visit, and he was genuinely concerned about me, fearing that his mother might have upset me, and then, I don’t know, I acted on impulse. While making love I told him I loved him, and he couldn’t return the sentiment. Instead, he tried to ignore it and then made a comment that I seemed to love a lot of things. I’m such a dummy; I wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh, Jenna, I know that must have been hard for you, and I’m sorry it didn’t turn out as you’d hoped.”

Now that is an understatement.
“It never does, Sam, it never does.”

“Would it make you feel better to hear some good news?”

Jenna managed a small smile. “Good news, of course.”

“Well, it was a false alarm,” Sam announced, beaming with happiness. “I swear I’ve never been so happy to have a period in my whole life. And Caleb, that sweet fool, he proposed anyway.”

“Oh, Sam, that’s wonderful. Wait. What?” Jenna did a double take. “He proposed?”

“Yes, and I’m a fool too, for accepting. Oh, Jenna, I love him, and when he asked, I couldn’t help but accept. Just because we’re engaged doesn’t mean we have to rush the wedding, right? He’s going to go back home with me for a bit, and then maybe we’ll come back and settle here.”

Jenna began to cry again and couldn’t help but feel selfish. She wanted to say, “Great, now not only am I not lovable, but I’m about to lose my best friend too.” Instead she said what she knew she should’ve been thinking. “That’s great, Sam. I’m so happy for you.”

“Aw, come on, Jenna, it’s time to socialize among the living again. So wipe those tears, go get a shower, doll yourself up, and get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“We’re going out, silly. I have some celebrating to do, and you, my dear friend, look like you could use a drink.”

Jenna dried her eyes, washed her face, and went to grab a shower. An hour later, she actually looked presentable for the first time in two days. She had her hair done up, a bit of makeup on, and had even agreed to wear the black halter top and slim-fitting hip-hugger jeans Sam had picked out.

“See, now you’re beautiful.” Her friend pushed her toward the mirror for one more look at herself.

Jenna rolled her eyes and laughed without humor. Her dark hair was loose, the layers accentuating her heart-shaped face. Her full lips were pouty, and her green eyes were glossy from the crying she’d done earlier. Thank God they weren’t as puffy as they once had been. Now that she was ready, she actually looked forward to going out.

“Bring on the alcohol. I can use it.”

“I’ll bet.” Sam ushered her out of the hotel room. “Tonight is for celebrating good times, my engagement, of course, and to you not wasting away in that room. Lord knows you’ve done enough of that.”

“To not wasting away,” Jenna seconded.

Sam seemed to be on a mission and there was no stopping her.

***

“Whelan’s, Sam?” Jenna hissed. “You did this on purpose. You know Brady’s in there and I haven’t seen him in days. Hell, he probably doesn’t even want to see me. Otherwise I would have heard from him by now.”

“Nonsense, Jenna, let’s go.” Sam tried pulling her forward, but Jenna wouldn’t budge.

“No way,” she argued. “And I’m not impressed, by the way. I thought we were supposed to be celebrating.”

“We are. Why would I want to celebrate anywhere but where my fiancé is? Come on. It’s busy in there; you may not even see him.” Jenna still didn’t move. “Okay, fine. I can see it’s time for some tough love. Here it is. I’m going in, Jenna, with or without you. So you can stand out here and pout, or you can come in and celebrate with me.”

Still not moving an inch, she watched Sam carefully, thinking about what she’d said.

“Okay, here I go.” Sam walked forward, then stopped again and turned to look over her shoulder. “You’re my best friend, Jenna, and you’re ruining this for me. Please?”

“Fine!” Jenna snapped and walked ahead of her. Whether Brady wanted her there or not, she was there for Sam and Caleb tonight. So let the good times roll. The place was packed, and at least she had comfort in that.

“I need a drink,” Jenna shouted over the band and didn’t wait for Sam to answer before heading straight to the bar. After drowning in a few shots and grabbing a bottle of beer to go, she realized Sam was gone. Jenna moved around the pub looking for her but found Brady instead.

He stood about five feet away by the stage and didn’t seem to have noticed her yet from where she stood, so she admired the graceful way he mingled with the others in the bar.

“Careful, love, he gets that all the time.”

Huh, what the hell?
Jenna turned around and recognized the older woman from the first time she came to Whelan’s. She’d brought Sam and Jenna their complimentary drinks that night. “I’m not sure what you mean.”