With Caution: With or Without, Book 2 (8 page)

Instead of gagging, Remi purred.

When Jake could finally think again he realized he had Remi’s hair in a death grip.
Shit.
He let go, but Remi didn’t. He kept sucking lightly.

It was beginning to tickle. Jake ran his fingers over Remi’s cheek. Remi leaned into the caress, as was becoming his habit, then he stiffened and let go of Jake’s cock.

“Oh God.” Remi’s eyes were once again human and all the color had drained from his face. His hand flew to his mouth and he fell back on his butt. Scuttling backward, he began shaking his head.

Shit.
Jake hitched his pants up and dropped to his knees. He reached out, but Remi moved further away. When he hit the wall, he pushed himself up, coming to his feet. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.

Jake wasn’t sure what to do to ease Remi’s mind. He wasn’t about to let Remi pretend it didn’t happen, nor would he let his mate distance himself from him. “Remi?”

“No.” Remi held up a hand, warding Jake off. “Don’t touch me.” Oh God, what had he done? He’d actually— He shook his head harder, trying to make it go away. No, he hadn’t. He couldn’t. It wasn’t him. But he
had
done it. He could still taste Jake in his mouth. His teeth itched, threatening to lengthen again at the thought.

“Remi…” Jake acted as though he was trying to gentle a scared animal.

Remi watched the hand coming toward him. It was like slow motion. He argued with himself. Should he let Jake touch him? Why was he even considering it? He batted Jake’s hand aside and walked backward toward the front door. He had to get Jake to leave. “Out!”

“Let’s talk about this.” Jake spoke softly, sounding steady and sure.

It pissed Remi off even further. Why wasn’t he upset? Remi had lost his fucking mind and here Jake was trying to act like this wasn’t a big fucking deal, when it was. What had Remi been thinking? Why had he done that? Damn it, his chest hurt and he couldn’t fucking breathe. It felt like someone had slugged him and knocked the air out of him. “Get out!” The doorknob hit him in the back and his elbow banged against the door, but he barely felt it.

Jake’s face flushed, his jaw clenching. “We
both
wanted that.”

“No.”

Groaning, Jake dragged his hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice again. “This is a natural reaction. We’re werewolves. We’re mates— Shit, I’ve been trying not to tell you that but, damn it… Don’t pull away from me now, Remi.”

Remi snapped.

“What? Mates? You did this to me? It’s some werewolf bullshit?” That was it. He was possessed or something. Jake had done something to him to make Remi want him. Remi jerked the door open. He was losing it, he knew he was but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “Get the fuck out!”

Growling, Jake shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment then headed toward the door. He stopped right before he walked out, keeping his back to Remi. “We aren’t done with this. I won’t pressure you, but I’m not going to let you ignore what’s between us.” He turned his head, his gaze boring into Remi’s. He looked…sad. “You know where I am when you’re ready to talk.”

Remi closed his eyes, fighting the tears, and shut the door. Why did Jake have to look so hurt? “Goddamn it!” Remi punched the wall beside the door. It hurt like a son of a bitch and didn’t solve a damn thing. Now he was going to have to patch the hole he’d left.

Looking down at the wet spot on his shorts, Remi remembered how Jake had felt and tasted. He shivered, then banged the back of his head into the wall, trying to forget. Sinking to the floor, Remi finally let the tears fall.

Chapter Six

“You should get him a dog.”

Remi considered it for a minute as he watched Sterling roll around in the grass with Pita, his best friend’s golden retriever puppy. “What in the world would I do with a dog while I was at work? You know there’s no way in hell Dirk would let Sterling keep it at home.”

Chay shrugged and leaned on the railing of his redwood deck. “You’ve never had a pet, have you?”

“Nope.”

Keaton, Chay’s mate—there was that word again, whatever the hell it was supposed to mean—came out of the back door with a yellow tennis ball in hand.

Spotting Keaton, Remi grinned. “You could just give me Pita. You have Keaton now, what do you need with two—?”

Keaton flipped Remi off on his way down the steps.

Remi chuckled. After last night it felt good to get back some normalcy. Keaton was so much fun to pick on. Over the past several months he and Keaton had become good friends, but when they’d first met, he was ashamed to admit, the insults had been real. Now it was a game they both continued. “It’s not nice to give me the finger in front of my little brother.”

“Yeah, and it’s not nice to call me a dog either, dipshit.” Smiling, Keaton kept walking toward where Sterling and Pita were playing, obviously not in the least upset by Remi’s teasing.

Chay groaned, shaking his head, but he too was grinning as he watched Keaton throw the tennis ball.

Abandoning Sterling, Pita gave chase. Keaton reached out a hand and helped Sterling up. Within seconds the puppy brought the ball back and dropped it at Sterling’s feet. Sterling tossed it.

His laughter made Remi rethink getting him a puppy of his own, but Remi had other things to get under control first.

He’d done a lot of thinking about what Jake had said last night. He wanted to ask Chay about it, but didn’t know how to bring it up. Remi turned his attention back to Chay.

The look on Chay’s face when he watched his mate—like now—was very tender, loving. It made Remi even more curious about mates. Chay had never looked at any girl like that, as though they were the center of his world. He’d always been a happy-go-lucky kind of guy and the one in the group who picked everyone else’s spirits up. Looking on the bright side of things was a habit of his. But now, it was as if he had this inner peace and he was where he wanted to be. It was really strange, but somehow right.

The corner of Chay’s lip turned up, his eyes sparkling.

Remi switched his focus back to the yard.

Keaton, Sterling and Pita were all digging under a bush next to the fence. Trying to get the ball, Remi assumed. Sterling was on his belly, his cheek pressed to the ground, peering under the shrub. The only visible part of Pita was his wagging tail. Keaton was on his butt with one leg under the bush and a look of total concentration on his face.

Remi found himself grinning too. “You’d think they’d be smart enough to get a broom or something. Or at the very least get Sterling to try and kick it out. He’s got longer legs.”

Chay laughed. “Shh… Bit has a Napoleon complex as it is, don’t go pointing out to him that your fourteen-year-old brother is taller.”

“Well, Sterling
is
almost fifteen,” Remi teased.

“Sometimes I’m not sure Bit isn’t.” He turned to Remi and chuckled. “Fifteen, I mean. He’s very playful when you get him around the pups. Guess that’s why he makes a good teacher. I keep trying to convince him he should teach elementary school rather than college.”

Chay had always liked kids himself. It had never occurred to Remi until now that by being with Keaton, his friend would likely miss out on kids of his own.

“Why are you frowning?” Chay bumped Remi’s shoulder. “You’ve looked distracted since you got here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

What wasn’t? “Why did you pick Keaton as a mate?”

Turning his body toward Remi, Chay furrowed his brow.

Remi held up his hand, stalling Chay. “Don’t blow a gasket. I like Keaton and I want you to be happy. But you have to admit, it’s pretty damn weird. You never liked men before.”

Chay jerked his head toward the back door. “Come on, let’s get a beer.” After opening the door for Remi, Chay followed him in. When they reached the kitchen, Chay got them both a beer and hopped onto the counter.

Spinning one of the kitchen chairs around, Remi sat too and took a swig from his can. He tried to think of a way to rephrase his question. He wanted to know about mates, yet at the same time he didn’t.
Fuck
, his hands were shaking. “Why Keaton? Why not a woman?”

Chay cocked his head. “You wanna tell me what happened? Why you’re this unnerved?”

“Not really, no.”

Chay frowned. “I think you need to anyway.”

Setting his beer on the table, Remi clutched his hands together, stuffed them between his knees and squeezed. As he stared up at the ceiling, his stomach cramped and sweat trickled down his temple.

The back door opened and Keaton came in, sniffed and darted a glance at Remi, then Chay. His eyebrows shot up. “Umm, okay. Uh, how about I take Sterling and go get some pizza?”

Sterling came in behind Keaton, grinning from ear to ear, and shut the door behind him. “Can I have a dog?”

“No.” Remi flinched. That hadn’t come out right. He’d sort of snapped. “We’ll see. Not right now, though.”

Wrinkling his nose, Sterling looked like he was going to argue but he shrugged instead. “Okay.”

Keaton stepped up to Chay, rested his hand on Chay’s chest and raised up on his toes. He kissed Chay’s cheek and whispered something in his ear. Catching the words “okay” and “Remi”, Remi realized Keaton was asking about him.

Chay nodded and kissed Keaton back. “There’s money in my wallet. Make certain Sterling stays in the car and not visible. If his father finds out he was with you, there will be hell to pay.”

Remi groaned. How fucked up was it that Remi hadn’t even considered Sterling being seen?

Sterling ducked his head, a blush staining his cheeks. “Y’all know it has nothing to do with what Remi and I think, right?”

“Of course we do.” Keaton slung his arm over Sterling’s shoulder, escorting him out of the kitchen. “Come on, let’s go get pizza.”

The front door opened and closed.

Chay walked over and sat in the chair next to Remi. “Now tell me what happened. Why the unease and the sudden interest in mates?”

“I don’t know where to start.” The queasy feeling crawled up his chest and his pulse pounded in his ears. He debated telling Chay what had happened for several minutes before finally deciding he was probably the only person who would understand. If anyone could help Remi figure things out, it was Chay.

Remi told Chay everything—the kiss, the blowjob, Jake’s confirmation that they were mates—and waited, half expecting Chay to laugh at him. It would have been no less than he deserved, considering the amount of shit he’d given Chay over Keaton, but Chay didn’t laugh.

“You don’t pick your mate. Everything about them calls to you.”

So it
was
an instinctual response? Like he had to Jake? “You mean you lose control over your eyes and your teeth.”

Taking another taste of his beer, Chay nodded. “Arousal, and all that… Exactly. But there’s more to it. Your mate is your other half. Take Keaton and myself for example. He knows what I’m thinking before I do. He gets all my jokes. We have opposite strengths and weaknesses. Sounds corny I know, but it’s like he’s part of me. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. And I always know what he’s feeling and thinking. I can tell you how he’s going to react to any given situation.” He grew quiet for a moment, sipping his drink. “And then there’s the physical response. If you ask Keaton he’ll tell you it’s our screwed up pheromones.”

“You like how they smell.”

Chay nodded. “Yeah. Which is exactly what Keaton means by pheromones.”

Damn, damn, damn.
“But didn’t it bother you that he’s a guy?”

“It wasn’t what I expected. But I’ve wanted to find my mate for so long, I wasn’t about to give Keaton up when I found him. So I dealt with it. Which wasn’t easy given Bit’s sparkling personality.” Chay snorted. “The smallest hint that I was uncomfortable would set him off on a tangent about how we should forget we were mates.”

Wow.
Keaton had been opposed to the relationship? Remi had thought Keaton latched onto Chay immediately without question. Did that mean the attraction could be ignored? Remi wished he knew how to ignore what Jake made him feel. “Why didn’t you?”

Chay cocked his head to the side. He looked pensive. “Because he’s the only mate I’ll ever have. Some wolves never find their mate.” He got a faraway look on his face then he shook it off and took a sip of his beer. “Besides, the connection is too strong. It’s not very easy to ignore.”

Staring at the ceramic tile, Remi put the pieces together. This couldn’t be happening. He was in real trouble. Not only was his body responding to Jake, but his mind was too. What the fuck was he going to do?

Something wet fell on his wrist. He glanced down and noticed his hands shaking so much the beer was sloshing out. He tried to put his beer on the table, but Chay grabbed his wrist.

Chay gave him a sad smile. “How do you feel about it?”

“I don’t know… And if Dirk finds out—”

“I didn’t ask what Dirk thinks about it or what society in general thinks. You need to decide what
you
think. How
you
feel.”