Stardoc (43 page)

“There are some reasons to consider my proposal. More than thirty percent of those on board are children.” She smiled as she watched them. “They need strong protectors. You could be one of those who watch over them.”

“It would be a challenge,” I said, peering in. “Seeing as most of them are taller than me.”

Tonetka laughed.

I stood and watched the children after Tonetka returned to the Medical Bay. So many eager, happy faces. It didn’t matter that they weren’t Terran. That their eyes were white and their skins were blue. If Kao had lived, our offspring would have looked something like these. Just a bit shorter.

I made my way back to my quarters. It was good to have a reason to go on, I thought. Even if it was for the children I would never have.

I requested and was given official permission to work in the Medical Bay alongside Healer Tonetka. The Senior Healer never brought up the subject of my serving as her replacement during those rotations. We did, however, discover we worked well together. We shared concerns, ideas, even a few moments of humor when we argued over treatments. Tonetka liked a friendly fight. So did I.

The League made repeated requests to board the Jorenian ship in order to search for an “unrecognized”

non-sentient life-form. The Jorenians politely continued to turn down their requests.

Xonea and Dhreen were inseparable friends now, and each day the pair arrived at my quarters during my off hours to “liberate” me. Usually for a game of whump-ball, which I invariably lost to one or the other. We also shared several meal intervals, during which the two pilots tried to top each other’s outrageous adventure stories.

Alunthri had been to visit me as well. It was becoming very involved in its new study of Jorenian art forms. According to it, they were mostly utilitarian objects, created from woven grasses and used for ceremonial gatherings. Alunthri gave me a morning bread basket, with a weave that showed a complex, lovely pattern of bird shapes.

I explored more of the ship, and quickly discovered that the Jorenian crew members were very open and friendly. They also seemed to have an inordinate amount of interest in me personally. I constantly got stopped while walking down the main corridor, and invited to join them for some activity or another. The console in my quarters always had a minimum of a dozen signals to be returned. If I dined in the galley, I never sat alone for very long.

I couldn’t get used to my sudden popularity. At first I suspected Xonea or Tonetka had put their HouseClan up to it. After the first rotation, I saw it was simply their natural behavior. The Torins were just as gregarious with each other. I didn’t know quite how to handle it, either. My life had always been so wrapped up in work that I hadn’t had time for a social life. Now it didn’t look like I could avoid one.

Jenner, who was as popular with the crew as I was, had the run of the corridors, spoiled and adored by hundreds. He always turned up at my quarters at the end of the day, however, to be fed and attended to by his most devoted admirer. He slept with me as well, and when the nightmares woke me up, soothed me back to sleep.

I received many, many personal messages from the colonists on K-2, among them, carefully worded recordings from Dr. Mayer and Charge Nurse Ecla. Xonea showed me that when both were played simultaneously, a coded third message was revealed.

“See thus?” He pointed to the terminal and eradicated every third word or syllable. “As we arranged with your friends. Watch now.”

Ecla and Dr. Mayer’s messages blended together to reveal: Mercenary incentive offer being discussed between JGV and League. Do not attempt to return or leave ship. Have your belongings, will forward.

“What’s this about mercenaries?”

“They think to contract them to pursue you.”

Anger gave a particularly spine-tingling cast to Jorenian features. No wonder they hardly ever got mad.

Anyone could have easily imagined the man crossing the galaxy to hunt down his enemies. I was scared just looking at him.

“Maybe they’ll change their minds,” I said.

“Let the League send hired thugs to challenge the Sunlace. They will learn how HouseClan Torin deals with those who threaten our own.” Xonea separated the discs and handed them to me. “I must speak with you about tomorrow’s ceremony.”

I gripped the discs tightly. “To honor Kao.”

He smiled. “To honor you both.” He held up a third disc. “We have always celebrated life in death, Healer. Please view this today; it will help you to understand the ritual. Your presence will grace our House.”

Later I reviewed the disc in my quarters. For Kao’s sake, I made myself study the ceremony carefully.

Jorenians believed death was the beginning of another journey. A return to an original, primordial life, when the physical body was discarded. They believed the soul “embraced the stars” after death. In symbolic commemoration, Kao’s remains would be ejected from the ship and sent directly into the heart of one of K-2’s twin suns.

Select members of the HouseClan participated in the actual ritual. HouseClan Brothers and Sisters prepared the body and the receptacle in a traditional manner. The bondmate - or in my case, the Chosen - offered a blessing for the soul’s journey. At last someone called the Speaker delivered the last message from the deceased.

I wondered about that part. Kao had not confided any final message to me. I thought of Dhreen. Had he received Kao’s last wishes, while they were both on the ward?

One of the Jorenian residents I worked with, a young woman with a depressingly cheerful manner, delivered what she called the “journey robe” to my quarters. It was a lovely, flowing river of iridescent cerulean material that seemed almost too fragile to handle. She showed me how to wear it and even talked me into unbraiding my hair.

“Kao would want you to appear as he saw you in his heart.”

I didn’t sleep that night. I didn’t want to give the ritual blessing. Kao had died because of what I had given him. I wasn’t his mate. I was his killer.

That thought haunted me, up until the moment the ceremony began. The Torins assembled in a special area reserved for such rituals. I’d met some of the crew, but to see them gathered together like this made my eyes sting. So many of the males resembled Kao. It was as if he was reincarnated, over and over.

HouseClan Torin dressed in their family colors, robes of a thousand shades of blue and green. With their black hair and sapphire skins, they reminded me of a twilight sky over a Terran sea.

I was brought to a dias on which the special receptacle was prepared for launching. Kao’s coffin was sleek and dark. A towering circle of Kao’s brothers and sisters, Xonea among them, surrounded me.

They began to weave an intricate dance around the dias as they bound the outer panels with strand after strand of silvery threads.

I stared at the pattern, saw more wings taking shape. I lifted my hand, touched the now-fading mark on my throat. I had to let him go now. Had to.

The rest of the Jorenians chanted a low, continuous series of prayers. Their melodic voices harmonized into a throbbing, rejoiceful song. It tore at me to hear them. No one wept. They were really happy about this, I thought. Happy for Kao, whom I had killed.

At last his siblings were finished, the receptacle adorned with an intricate web of glittering light. One by one the voices died away. Silence enveloped the dias. Together Xonea and his brothers and sisters bowed to me, then stepped down to join the others looking up at me.

Now I stood alone. The woman he Chose. His executioner. How could I be both? How could I even stand here and do this? I recalled the ancient words from the disc Xonea had given me. HouseClan Torin had honored Kao’s body. It was up to me to honor his soul. And here I was, ready to fall to pieces.

Stop thinking about yourself and honor Kao, you twit, I thought viciously. You can fall to pieces after the ceremony.

That anger made my voice steady and strong. “From your Chosen, your heart, can only come what is bright and beautiful and honorable.” I looked at the rapt faces around me. Felt their unity as a family. Not one glimmer of anger, hatred, or even mild dislike in their expressions. Only happiness.

I went on. “You and I will never lose each other. We have blended our souls. Kao Torin, I send you into the embrace of the first life. I send you with joy, smiles, and my honor forever. The new path awaits you.”

Yes, and I had sent him along that path very effectively. But if I hadn’t, the pathogen would have. There was no other way I could have kept him alive. Kao would have been dead long before we discovered the truth about the Core.

It wasn’t fair. Tears streaked down my cheeks and nose as I placed my hand upon the receptacle. That wasn’t in the ceremony, but I didn’t care. I would carry the burden of Kao Torin’s death with me for the rest of my life, but for now, I had to come to terms with it. If not for myself, for him.

In a voice now thick with pain, I spoke the last words of the ritual. “Blessed be your journey, Kao Torin. Your House rejoices. Your Chosen will follow.”

Xonea helped me down from the dias, and the receptacle was lowered into a discharge shaft. One interior wall retracted to reveal a huge view screen, and I watched with the rest of HouseClan Torin as Kao’s body was ejected from the Sunlace. The sleek shape dwindled as it sped away, pulled by the magnetic fields of the twin suns. Embraced by the stars. It was gone. I covered my face with my hands.

Kao was gone.

I heard the voice of the Speaker, who closed the ceremony with Kao’s own last words. My hands fell from my eyes. No. I stared, and still could not believe what I was seeing.

Duncan Reever stood there, dressed completely in black.

“I speak for the son of this House, Kao Torin. His words were given to me, to be brought to those he honored. I bring them with joy.”

Xonea’s hand touched my arm. I flinched, then stepped away from him. Reever? Kao had spoken his last wishes to Duncan Reever?

Heat rose up my neck, flooded my face. He didn’t wear one of the vocollar devices, I noted. He apparently didn’t have to. He probably spoke flawless Jorenian, along with ten million other dialects. I didn’t even know how to say “I honor you” in Kao’s own language.

“I would be with you for journeys ahead, my family. That is not my path. Go forward, remember I am in your hearts. Know our House lives in each of you. Walk within beauty.” Reever turned slightly until our eyes met. “Honored Chosen.”

I bit my tongue sharply. The outraged shriek never left my lips.

“How you have struggled for me. Endured as I have endured. I must leave you. You, who have been all things to me, friend, companion, and Chosen.”

How dare Reever look at me like that? I could have killed him.

“Do not grieve for me, my Chosen. I honor you above all. A path exists into eternity where we will be reunited. We will travel together again. Never forget that.” His eyes flickered. “I dwell within you.”

The shock of seeing Reever combined with my overwrought emotions, and I swayed. Xonea pulled me into the curve of his arm. I didn’t fight the support.

Reever faced the assembly once more. “I charge the HouseClan Torin with my last request: protect and honor the one I Chose. Only death prevented our bond. I give her into your keeping. Honor her as you have honored me. Farewell and safe journey. I embrace the stars.”

The ceremony was over. The family divided, some to return to their duties, others to celebrate in smaller groups. Xonea led me away from the chamber and escorted me to my quarters. I went along without protest.

Outside the door panel, Xonea bowed. “You have honored our HouseClan, Healer.” He made a gesture that encompassed his heart and head. “HouseClan Torin would honor you. If you will accept, our House is yours.”

I knew what he was offering. And I wanted it. “I accept, with gratitude.” I made the traditional answer.

He smiled with delight, bowed, and touched his brow to the back of my hand. “ClanSister Cherijo.

Welcome to our House.”

I had been declared non-sentient, rescued, watched my lover die, been reunited with friends, offered a new life, celebrated my lover’s death, heard his last words.

Now I had been adopted.

Xonea was quick to spread the word to the rest of the crew. They in turn did their best to make me feel part of the extended Jorenian family at once. I was addressed as “Healer Cherijo Torin,” or “ClanSister,”

or “Clan-Cousin” and so on, depending on who spoke to me. I compensated by answering to pretty much anything called in my general direction.

Xonea had given me more than a new last name. I was considered as much a member of the HouseClan as if I had been born to it. That made the honor of the HouseClan, and its preservation, my responsibility.

I wasn’t sure I deserved any of it, but I wanted to be a part of these people. Judging from his last words, it was what Kao had wanted, too.

The day after seeing Duncan Reever at the ceremony, I asked Xonea about him and how he came to be Kao’s Speaker. I couldn’t help myself. I learned Reever had been with Kao while I’d appeared that last time before the Council. Kao had sent specifically for Reever, given him his last words. Reever had even assisted HouseClan Torin in removing Kao from the FreeClinic ward and transporting him to the Sunlace. He had been on board as long as I had. I felt slightly ashamed of myself. I’d believed Reever had abandoned me, and the whole time he had been honoring Kao’s last request.

Negotiations between League forces and the Jorenians were beginning to break down. Insult was added to the strain when a group of mercenaries tried to storm the ship by force.

Tonetka casually mentioned it during rounds, and I stared at her, completely aghast.

“Five of them tried to ram through the portside docking couplings,” she said, and chuckled. “They quickly discovered what happens when a League vessel encounters Jorenian alloys.”

The captain of the Sunlace was generous enough to rescue the would-be intruders before their small ship imploded. Pnor Torin’s generosity only went so far, however. The mercenaries were sent back to K-2, with a warning that any further attacks would be taken much more seriously.