Stardoc (39 page)

“You don’t want me to clear you to go now, I hope,” I warned, topping it with a severe frown. “Those bones need to heal, or you’ll end up with permanent impairment.”

“No, actually...” Dhreen turned yellow, which in his species indicated a rush of blood to the epidermis.

“Dhreen. You’re blushing.”

“Doc... you saved my life... you’ve been a good friend... see, when I heard the Council was trying to get rid of you... well, I thought... I mean, maybe... you know, I have cohab rights on the freighter, and...”

He was proposing to me. “You want me to go with you?”

“We don’t have to bond for life,” he said to reassure me. His amber eyes rolled. “I’m not good at this sort of thing. I just thought... I wanted to-“

I reached up and kissed his thin cheek. “You’re a lovely friend. I’m very flattered, but”- I looked through the glidecar’s shield back at the facility-“my work is here.”

He looked even more yellow than before. “Are you sure?” His spatulate fingers brushed my arm gently.

“We’ve always coexisted well. Shared some mirth.” The clear amber eyes narrowed. “I don’t like leaving you here. Not with the way things are.”

I rested my head against the steering controls. Dhreen shifted his broken legs uneasily. “You know, I’m almost tempted.” I was more tired than I thought. Tired of the Council, the slow recovery after the epidemic, the politics, everything.

“I’d take care of you, Doc.”

Dhreen grinned, and I knew life with him would never be dull. It would also mean running away from my problems. Running away from my past, my father, and now K-2. For a moment I was really tempted.

“Thank you, Dhreen, but I have to say no.”

He didn’t stop smiling. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

“You’ll be on K-2 for a few more days,” I said, “so we don’t have to say good-bye right now.”

“No.” He climbed back out of the glidecar, then ducked his head down to add, “Just remember, the freighter’s route can take a dozen cycles to complete. I won’t be back for a long time.”

“I’ll be here.”

I was barely able to drive the glidecar over to the housing unit and drag myself to my quarters. Tears were running down my face, and I didn’t know why. All through the epidemic I had been like a rock.

Now I wept over silly things, like Reever’s scars and Dhreen leaving. What was wrong with me?

Alunthri and Jenner were startled when I stumbled in and flung myself on the bed. They were also kind enough to let me cry myself to sleep.

My shifts gradually shortened, with help from our new medical students, former orderlies who were undergoing formal training. The chief himself initiated the program after PQSGO made it plain that no medical professional in their right mind would transfer to K-2. No matter how well recovery was proceeding, the stigma of the epidemic clung.

The medical students would take years to educate, but they provided valuable manpower in the interim.

We were still swamped by a plethora of post-epidemic ailments. During each shift, four students worked on minor cases, supervised by a nurse. That freed up the physicians to deal with the more serious emergencies.

Duncan Reever’s case was handled by Dr. Mayer. I personally avoided further contact with him. The idea was for him to recover, and I was still furious. He was discharged a day after I admitted him for exposure to the Core.

Kao Torin’s condition deteriorated further. His distant homeworld, Joren, eventually transmitted the necessary medical updates for our database, and it confirmed my worst fear. No one reported me for smashing the console screen.

I went to see Dr. Crhm, trying to find some small hope. It reviewed the latest pathological data on Kao with me.

“The transfusion of Terran blood acted as an antibody at first, and restricted itself to attacking the Core life-forms. Once it had removed the immediate threat, it infiltrated the immune system, trien the systemic tissues.” It ducked its hard-shelled head, not catching my reaction as it continued. “Now the foreign blood has reactivated its cytotoxic properties and is destroying native cells. Tissue, bone, and fluid.”

“It’s killing him the same way it did the Core.” My blood, eating away at Kao’s internal organs.

“Yes, Dr. Grey Veil. Would you be able to obtain another sample of plasma from the original donor?”

Kao’s chart reflected merely that he received an experimental transfusion of Terran blood. Only Ecla and Dr. Mayer knew it had come from me. Now I would have to lie again. “The donor was killed during the epidemic.” I couldn’t say from the contagion. “A glidecar collision. The body was completely destroyed.”

“A pity. It would have been fascinating to conduct a proper study. I have never reviewed a hematological profile such as this. The cells are absolutely ferocious.”

Bile was burning at the back of my throat. “How long do you estimate the patient has before complete systemic failure?”

“Three, perhaps four rotations.”

I left Crhm’s lab, stopped long enough to throw up in private, then went to Kao’s ward. I sat with him for a while as he slept, holding his hand. The white eyes eventually opened.

“You look fatigued, my Chosen.”

I was. Oh, God, I was. “Kao, I have to”- I choked on the words, hesitated, tried again-“I have to tell you some bad news. The latest tests-“ How did I tell him my blood was killing him? “- They don’t look good.”

“How long do I have?”

I was startled, then I understood. The tranquillity, the acceptance. Jorenians were much more intimately aware of their bodies than Terrans. He already knew. “Not long. A few days.”

Kao nodded. “That is enough time. You must do it now, Cherijo.”

I didn’t want to face what he was asking, and shook my head wildly. “I will keep working on a treatment - I can - I might-“ I faltered as he gazed steadily at me.

“Send the message to Joren and tell them my time is upon me.” He had discussed it with me in detail days before. “Those of my HouseClan within range will come for my last rites.”

“I don’t want you to die,” I whispered. His big hand curled tightly around mine.

“You will like my HouseClan, Healer,” he said, and smiled. “My ClanBrother Xonea has been eager to meet you.”

“Space your ClanBrother!” I became irrational. “Kao. Don’t give up. Fight it. Fight it for me.”

“Don’t cry, honored Chosen...” He lapsed back into unconsciousness.

Dr. Dloh was on ward duty and stood observing at a respectful distance. When I knew Kao wouldn’t wake again soon, I rose and looked at him. He handed me the chart he was holding. “The latezt rezultz from the lab.”

I glanced at the levels, which only reiterated what Crhm had told me earlier. Systemic failure was imminent. Suddenly I watched the chart fly across the ward and ricochet off the opposite wall.

“Doctor-“ Dloh reached out a tentative appendage.

“Excuse me, Dr. Dion.” I walked off the ward before I started taking it apart, piece by piece. ‘t I had to do something besides take care of the injured and repair the damage wrought by the Core.

Something physical. Smashing the hell out of something was very soothing. I’d try that.

When I strode out of the facility’s back entrance, I saw Duncan Reever. I swerved in order to put some distance between us, but he only trailed behind me. I crossed a hundred meters, glanced back. Still there.

I needed to pound something into dust. Despite my rage, a small part of me didn’t want it to be him.

“Get away from me, Reever.”

He kept silent, but didn’t go away. I walked into a narrow, boxed-in alley between some Transport buildings. I was trapping myself with him. Maybe it was for the best. He was a good-sized male. I might not hurt him. Much.

“Cherijo, stop.”

I’d reached the end of the passage and faced a solid wall of plasbrick. No one but Reever was within sight. That was fine with me. The fury within me punched through my self-control and poured out.

“No!” I screamed at the wall. I whirled on Reever, my fists clenched as I jammed them against my temples. “I can’t stop it! I can’t!”

“No, you can’t.” His gaze held a glimmer of pity.

That was the last straw. I launched myself at him. Reever, who would never leave me alone. Reever, who had repeatedly forced himself upon my mind and made me share his. Reever, who had taken me, pleasured me, used me.

I wanted him to die.

He was strong, but I was unstoppable. With one vicious blow I knocked him off his feet, then threw myself on top of him. My fists struck him, over and over. Knuckles slammed into flesh. Bones jarred and grated. God, it felt good. Pain streaked up my arm. Breath burned in my lungs. Blood roared in my head.

We linked.

Reever’s mind flooded over me like a wave. His thoughts slammed into mine, until I was caught between him and the violent despair that had me spinning out of control.

Cherijo, stop.

No! I will not! Let me go!

Cherijo. Stop fighting me. Let me help you.

I never wanted you. Never wanted this. Get out, just get out of me!

Let me help you.

Inside my head, Reever enveloped me. The churning tide of my emotions was thrust back, held at bay while new images appeared.

I saw the epidemic, its aftermath. Alun Karas’s simple, comical accident. The horrible impotence as thousands died before my eyes. Then I was in the groves. I watched as golden fluid sank into the soil, and the dying recovered. The colony lives. The Core lives. Your gift to them.

Reever. I was inside Reever now. He was being controlled by the Core. Through his eyes I watched myself, being forced to submit, then to respond. I felt what Reever felt. Desperation. Terror. Humiliation.

Unwilling pleasure. Guilt. It stunned me. Behind his eyes now, I knew his agony.

I wasn’t the only one who had been violated in that Isolation room.

Back at the temporary facility. Ana and I holding his hand. Contacting the Core. Learning how to stop the epidemic. Ridding his body of the alien control. I live. Your gift to me.

I saw Kao Torin, dying on the ward where I had left him. Then further back in time, to the moment just before I had injected him with my blood. He had died. I’d brought him back to life. Kao Torin lives. He has the time to bid farewell to those he honors. To you. Your gift to him.

I can’t bear it. Oh, God, Duncan, I can’t. I can’t.

I found myself on my knees, Reever holding on to me tightly, my throat raw from screaming. The link between us was gone. I couldn’t speak. He said nothing.

After I’d regained enough strength and steadiness to stand, he helped me to my feet. His face was bruised, the front of his tunic was torn. Blood ran from his nose and mouth in thin scarlet streams.

“Duncan.” I reached out to touch his face, then snatched my hand back. “Oh, no, what have I done?”

“I will recover.” He wiped the blood from his face with the back of his sleeve. “Be at peace, Cherijo. Be at peace with yourself.” He released me, turned, and walked down the alley.

“Duncan,” I said, and he paused for a moment. “I’m... I’m sorry.” He nodded, and then disappeared.

I sat down on the ground and looked at the abrasions on my knuckles. I had never harmed another living being in my life. I’d just beaten the hell out of one who was only trying to help me. The anger was gone. I understood now. That only made it worse.

A week later it was announced that the Allied League of Worlds would conduct a full investigation of the epidemic on Kevarzangia Two. That was roughly equivalent to God announcing he would inspect the number of fleas on a single Terran canine.

Pmoc Quadrant’s Inspection Team, along with the orbiting cruisers, left K-2 abruptly. Maintenance crews worked triple shifts. Everyone was speculating about the League’s interest in what was surely Quadrant jurisdiction when League cruisers arrived and went into orbit. All fifteen of them.

I was the first summoned to be interviewed, if you could call it that. Interrogation by Security’s Norash had been aggravating. This was more like an inquisition.

Record drones were everywhere as I was escorted into the special conference area. Squads of armed Allied forces lined the perimeters, passages, and entrances throughout the building. None of them smiled.

A rare piece of hardware, one of the new 3-Dimalyzers, was capturing the proceedings onto indestructible crystal discs for future generations.

This was considerable ado for an epidemic that was already over and done with.

“Identity presentation,” a drone said.

“Grey Veil, Cherijo, Terran, medical physician.”

One of the investigators glanced up and pointed to the only empty chair. “Sit down, Doctor.”

Nobody looked at me. Highlights of my practice on the homeworld and personal history were cited by a drone. Fingers worked busily over touchpads. Someone coughed, but it was a normal, dry sound. I was asked to confirm the validity of these facts.

“Before I respond, may I inquire”- noticing that got everyone’s attention-“am I being charged with something?”

“We make the inquiries here, Dr. Grey Veil,” one replied. “Please confine yourself to responses only.”

And they did. What followed was an exact, meticulous grilling. I was asked to provide only affirmative or negative responses. Yes or no. Nothing more.

“Dr. Grey Veil, did you treat Alun Karas immediately after he was infected by the Core pathogen?” I confirmed. Several chart notes I’d made during Karas’s initial examination were read. “These are your observations?” I confirmed again.

I was given other charts from the Engineering Group. Watched a replay from a Security vid that showed me climbing around the site with Geef Skrople, checking the workers.

“Yes, I was there.”

“Yes, those are my scan results.”

“Yes, I examined those colonists.”

A series of displays showed the results of the analysis Dr. Mayer had performed on my own blood sample. How the hell did they get that? I had what I’d thought was the only copy. I requested counsel, they refused. I didn’t need representation, I was told, because I was not being indicted.