Shadows and Silk (7 page)

She lay in the oversized bed in her hotel room and stared at the patterns on the ceiling
.
The covers were twisted around her, and her sleep shirt was still rucked around her
waist.

“Damn you,” she whispered, not sure if she were cursing herself or Brant. Her body
was hot with need, and nothing she’d done had put out the flames.

T
he ring on her
finger
was heavy, and she turned it round and round
.
It had been a stroke of luck Kenneth had proposed only a few hours before her meeting
with Brant and her brothers
.
He’d driven down from his apartment in New York so they could spend the evening together.
She’d had
no idea he’d planned to propose. Kenneth was the kind of man who wanted stability.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t been as ready as he was to commit to something long term.
They hadn’t even been dating exclusively. But he’d been unfazed when she’d turned
down his proposal, and he’d insisted she wear
the ring
for a few days and think about what she really wanted in her future. Unfortunately,
what she really wanted was Brant.

There was nothing wrong with Kenneth. They shared common interests—he was Dean of
the history department at Columbia where she taught
,
and they both came from large families. They kept each other mentally stimulated,
and she’d had no complaints when she’d finally agreed to share his bed. But he wasn’t
Brant. And she’d stopped hoping for even a fraction of the pleasure she’d experienced
four years before.
She’d looked for it, and no one else even came close.

Quite honestly, Kenneth’s proposal had
taken her completely by surprise. She’d
thought the relationship had been
waning. They’d started spending more time apart, and she’d never quite gotten around
to moving her things to his place like he’d
invited her to do.
She’d been busy with work, and she could admit she’d taken more lecturing jobs where
she had to travel for weeks at a time
,
so she wouldn’t have to make a definite commitment to their relationship. It had
been months since she’d shared Kenneth’s bed or had time for more than a casual dinner.
And he’d felt her restlessness, thinking the cause of it was because she was looking
fo
r more of a commitment from him, when in fact it had been the opposite.

Darcy threw back the covers, deciding sleep was never going to come. The sun would
be coming up in another hour or so, and th
ere was no reason for her to lie
in bed and pretend that the ring on her finger was the real problem. The real problem
was Brant had
put his hands on
her aga
in. And her body had come alive
after four years of nothing but
the
memory
of his touch
.

He’d ruined her for anyone else.
Damn him
.

“To hell with it,” she said,
stomping into the bedroom and
taking off the ring
.
She put
it inside the little zippered compartment of her makeup bag
, and tried not to feel guilty
. She’d already tried calling Kenneth when she’d gotten in the night before, but he
hadn’t answered his phone. He’d probably known she was going to try to break things
off
for good
.
She’d just mail the ring back to him with a letter. It was the right thing to do.

Darcy stripped out of her nightshirt and stared at herself in the mirror. She barely
recognized the woman
she saw there
.
Her
hair
was
tangled from a sleepless night, and her eyes
were
wide and full of unfulfilled heat. It hadn’t mattered how many times she’d tried to
relieve the pressure of Brant’s touch through the night. She hadn’t had him inside
her to quench that need, and her eyes
still
flamed brightly with
desire.

She winced as she saw the mark at her throat
. At how he’d branded her.
H
er nipples beaded to hard points at the m
emory of his mouth suckling
there. Was she stupid for not
accepting
Kenneth’s proposal and spending the rest of her life
with nothing more than contentment? Was she wrong to want more?

Darcy
jumped in the shower and tried not to think about how sensitized her body was as she
lathered the soap and rubbed it across her skin.
She stood under the hot spray of the water and closed her eyes, bringing back the
feel of
Brant’s
hands and mouth. It was a torture that was almost impossible
to
ignore.

It wasn’t hard to imagine the heat of Brant’s mouth worshipping her breasts, suckling
her nipples. She moaned as the pleasure ricocheted to the taut bud between the folds
of her sex.

Her pussy was
slick with need, and her fingers knew exactly where to touch—the right amount of
pressure. But she drew it out, imagining Brant’s tongue in place of her fingers.
She could feel his broad, calloused fingers tracing the outer lips of her vagina before
they’d sink inside.

“Yes.
Brant,” she cried as her fingers moved faster and faster. But nothing was as good
as the real thing. His cock was large and thick, and she remembered the way he had
to work the mushroom-shaped head inside of her, even though she’d been more than ready
to take him.

The liquid heat between her thighs flowed thicker, sweeter, and h
er knees trembled
as she felt the first tremors of her climax. S
he braced a hand against the cold tile of the s
hower wall to keep her balance, a
nd when the heat gathered in her clit and spread through her body, it was Brant’s
name she yelled out as the orgasm rocked through her.
Pleasure zinged down her spine, and she held the palm of her hand against her pussy
to prolong the feelings.

The tremors
finally
subsided and she sucked in great gasps of air before dropping to her knees. The water
rained down over her
bowed
head, and her chest was tight with the need to hold back the tears. What the hell
was she going to do?
She couldn’t keep fighting it.

Brant was the only man she’d ever loved. Him walking away hadn’t changed those feelings
for him, even though she’d prayed she could come to hate him. Could she harden her
heart and use him to fulfill the burning sexual needs inside her, and then move on
as he had obviously done? She had a career. She was one of the top people in her field.
Could she take what he’d offered her the night before and then live out the rest of
her life without looking back with regrets?
It was time to
take care of
herself
and go into self-preservation mode. No more wishing for things that wouldn’t happen,
and no more tears.

Darcy turned off the water, her body weak and tired, and she grabbed a thick white
towel, wrapping it around her twice as she headed back into the bedroom. Her eyes
were heavy with sleep, and she planned to fall face first into the bed until she had
to get ready to meet Brant later that morning. But those plans were shot to hell when
she saw Declan sitting at the little table in front of the window
, a fresh cup of coffee sitting in front of him
.

“How the hell did you get in here?” she asked.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you
,” he answered with a smile. “You look like hell. Bad night?”

“I can always count on you,” she muttered, grabbing a pair of black leggings and an
oversized knitted sweater in varying shades of blue from her suitcase. “If you’re
here to ruin my morning with more good news then I’d like to get dressed first.”

Darcy didn’t wait for an answer as she slammed into the bathroom and changed clothes.
She brushed out her wet hair an
d decided to let it air dry, and she creamed on moisturizer. Makeup would be wasted
on her today.
Declan would have to live with looking at the dark circles under her eyes for a while.

When she came back out, he was still in the same spot, but he’d poured
her a cup of coffee. She
noticed
breakfast had also magically arrived, and he took the liberty of removing the silver
covers from the tray.

“That food is the only thing saving you right now,” she said, sitting across from
him and taking a long drink of coffee.
T
he caffeine flow
ed
through her
veins,
and
she
decided she might let him live to see another day after the stunt he
’d
pulled
the night before
.

“It’s a good thing I know you so well,” Declan said.

She looked up quickly, wondering how well he really knew her. It was one thing
to grow up in a house full of boys who did their best to irritate you at every turn.
It was another thing entirely when you grew to adulthood.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing him in for this?” she said, dropping her gaze
to her plate so he wouldn’t see what that decision had done to her.

Declan had changed over the years. She missed the precocious kid and the devil-may-care
teenager he’d been. He’d barely been twenty-one when he’d come home with that jagged
scar on his face, and he’d never really been the same since.

She and Declan and Cade looked the most alike
of the five
MacKenzie
siblings
—from the black of their hair to the dark gypsy gold of their skin. But none of them
shared the same eye color.
Hers were bright blue like her dad’s, Cade’s were almost black like their mother’s,
and Declan’s were an eerie gray he’d inherited from Grandfather
MacKenzie
.

“You seemed to handle yourself okay without the knowledge.
” His gaze was probing, and she busied herself by
salting her eggs
.
“
Why should it matter if he’s here or not? You agreed to do the job. Is he a deal breaker
for you?”

She cut into the omelet on her plate with controlled viciousness so she wouldn’t be
tempted to stab her brother with her fork. “I’ll do the damned job.
It just would have been nice to have some information. I don’t like going into situations
blind. I’m sure you can relate.”

“Fine. Next time I need to bring you both in on the same job
,
I’ll make sure to send out a memo.”

Darcy all but growled at his highhandedness and stuffed more food into her mouth.

“I don’t suppose you want to tell me why the two of you are so hell bent on staying
away from each other?” he asked, starting on his own breakfast.

“Not really.”

“Darcy—” he warned.

“I’m twenty-eight years old, Dec. You’re not my father, and you have no business poking
your nose into my personal life.”

“Sure I do,” he said, cheerily. “It’s in the brothers handbook. For instance, is there
a reason you’re not wearing that giant rock you had on last night? Are congratulations
in order for you and Kenneth?”

“You can go now,” she said, pushing back from the table. “I’ve got things to do this
morning before I have to start
preparing for
the honeymoon you so thoughtfully arranged.”

Declan’s lips quirked in a half smile
,
and he just stretched his legs out and crossed his ankles, telling her he was going
to stay however long he wanted.

“It’s probably for the best. Kenneth wo
uld’ve
bore
d
you to tears in a month. You dodged a bullet there.”

“Mom should have drowned you at birth.”

“I’m sure she feels differently.
I’m her favorite you know.
”

She didn’t hear him get up and move in behind her, but
she was used to the silent way her brothers moved. When his hand touched her shoulder,
she let out a sigh and dropped her head.

“Tell me now, Darcy. Can you work with Brant? I’ll kill him if you ask me to, but
it’d be a shame to waste a damned good agent.”

“
I’m sure you think this is funny.
All you adrenaline junkie hot shots stick together anyway.” She tried to shrug off
his hand, but he held tighter and pulled her around to face him. Her head fell to
his shoulder, and she realized she’d missed her family over the past few years. She
only went home once or twice a year because she was always afraid she’d have to face
Brant.
She was a coward. And she was tired of running.