Shadows and Silk (6 page)

“I don’t belong to you, Brant.
I never did
.
And you can keep your secrets and your past and your
lame
excuses for your behavior to yourself. I gave you something precious, though you didn’t
want to see it at the time. I loved you with everything I
could have—since I was a girl—b
ut you killed that without a thought.”

“Darcy—” The look on his face was panic stricken, and she realized a tear had fallen
down her cheek. She shook her head as he started to come around the table
, holding him off
.
She couldn’t let him touch her now.

“I would have given you the space your mind needed and the satisfaction your body
craved if you’d cared for and respected me enough
. But you didn’t, and you don’t if you think I’d be foolish enough to fall into your
arms
again
after you left me before.”

“You’re right,” he said. “You’re right.
But that pussy belongs to me, Darcy. I bet you’re so wet I could slide easily inside
of you. I’ll have you again. It’s inevitable, baby. And this time we’ll see it out
to the end. Until the need runs out and we’re both ready to move on.
”

“You don’t understand, Brant. This isn’t about you.”
The words almost stuck in her throat, but she stuck out her chin and somehow found
the courage to say them.
She lifted her left hand so he’d see the sparkling diamond on her finger.
“I guess I
forgot to
mention that I’m engaged
to be married
.”

Brant
had to throttle back the rage that infused his body after Darcy’s bombshell. He’d
never felt so close to losing complete control of his sanity until faced with the
possibility that
she
might belong to anoth
er man for the rest of her life.

He knew she’d had relationships since their night together. He knew she’d even taken
a lover or two. But she hadn’t been serious enough about them to consider marriage,
and the threat of losing her forever hadn’t worried him. But the sight of that ring
on her finger made him even more determined to claim her. She was his, dammit, even
though his mind and body were warring with each other over how he could possibly keep
her. Love her the way she deserved.
He could only hope the madness of their lust wore itself down.

Brant saw red
as his anger grew,
and her eyes widened in shock as the back of the chair he was holding on to snapped
off under the force of his grip. He tossed it to the floor and stalked her around
to the other side of the table. He saw the worry in her eyes, and he almost laughed
as she stuck out her chin and met his gaze head on. Darcy was no coward.
And damned if it didn’t piss him off for her to think that he’d ever
lay
a hand on her
in anger
.

He was so hard he was surprised h
is
jeans could contain his cock. Darcy’s eyes flared and she sucked in a deep breath
as he stood in front of her, so their bodies were barely touching and the heat of
his desire wrapped around her.

“Do you think for one second that ring would stop me from taking you?
” he whispered.
“
Do you think it would stop you from giving in to me?”

“Why you arrogant son of a—”

Brant’s hand grabbed her fist as she took a swing at him. H
is mouth cut off her words as his lips took hers in a savage kiss filled with fo
u
r furious years of longing.
Of remembering.
He damned them both as her mouth opened on a sigh, and the hot, wet heat of her tongue
welcomed him as he stroked against her. She fit perfectly against him, and his fingers
gripped her ass
and pulled her closer
, rubbing the heat of her against his cock.

“Christ, Darcy—”

She moaned against his mouth, and her fingers buried in his hair. He shoved chairs
out of the way and lifted her onto the table,
her
legs parting and wrapping tightly around his waist.
He was mindless with the pleasure. Why did he ever think he’d be able to do without
her? No other woman would ever do. Just Darcy.

She arched against him, cra
dling his cock between her jean-
clad thighs, and he could feel the tight beads of her nipples beneath the thin silk
of her shirt. He didn’t care that there were dozens of people below, or that someone
could walk in on them at any time. All he could think about was stripping her down
and sinking into her.
Of coming home.

She moaned as he kissed his way down her neck and marked her—claimed her. His fingers
undid the buttons of her
shirt, and he kissed a wet trail down to her lace- covered breasts. They were full
and swollen, and her nipples strained against the blue lace. He covered her nipple
with the heat of his mouth and laved her through the lace. Her fingers tightened in
his hair and her hips pushed against him, searching for fulfillment.

“God, you taste so good.” He flicked open the front clasp of her bra, and he had to
hold back his own release as her breasts spilled into his hands. Christ, he was like
a teenager. When was the last time he’d come in his jeans?

“Brant.” Her voice hitched and then she screamed as his teeth scraped across her nipple.
He soothed it with the flat of his tongue, while his other hand worked at the snap
of her jeans.

He kissed his way back up to her mouth, not caring where they were, only how good
she’d feel around him.
But then he tasted
the saltiness of
her tears, and the need shattered as he fought
to regain
control.

He leaned back and looked at her face—a face that had been etched in his
mind
every day and night for the last few years. Her cheeks were flushed with desire and
her lips swollen from his kisses. She’d closed her eyes and tears leaked slowly from
the corners, trailing down her cheeks.
The thought that he’d hurt he
r was enough to cripple him, but
he didn’t know how to fix it.
How to right all the wrongs he’d done.
He couldn’t give her what she needed. What she deserved. But he couldn’t make himself
stay away. Not any longer.

“Darcy,” he said softly, kissing the corner of her mouth. He
wiped away her t
ears with his thumb, and she
drew in a shaky breath before pushing at his chest. He backed away slowly and fell
into the lone chair that had managed to stay upright in his frenzy to mate with her.
Damned if he could find the strength to stay standing
.

“
Listen—
” he said.

“Don’t say anything, Brant.”

The look on her face had his hands fisting against the arms of the chair and fear
gripping his belly.

She
sat up on the edge of the table and ran her fingers through her disheveled hair.
She refastened her bra and buttoned her blouse with shaky fingers. There was no hiding
the obvious—she looked like a woman who’d been
thoroughly
tumbled.

Darcy
was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. Even when she’d been a smart-assed
teenager he’d had to fight his baser needs and the attraction and go elsewhere for
a mindless
release.
And he’d had the pleasure of waiting for the woman he’d glimpsed in the teenager.
She’d always belonged to him, whether he’d been able to admit it to himself or not.
But he’d screwed up, and
now
the damage might be too severe for anyone to fix.

“I guess you were right,” she said, sliding off the table and
tucking her shirt back in
. It took her a minute before she was a
ble to look him in the eye
, and he didn’t like what he saw there. “The ring on my finger can’t stop you from
taking me. And I guess you proved that it
can’t
stop me from giving in to you.
Congratulations, Brant. You got exactly what you wanted.
”

She looked down at the diamond on her finger, and the sound that came out of her mouth
was somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

“But it’s just a symbol, Brant. A symbol showing me that someone out there does love
and respect me enough to want to spend their life with me. And the symbol on my finger
might not stop either of us from taking up where we left off four years ago. But
it doesn’t matter, because
I’m going to stop us.”

Her eyes sliced across him with all the anger and heartbreak she was feeling, and
he hated himself more than she ever could for putting that look in her eyes.

“You had your chance,” she said.
“
It’s someone else’s turn now. I’ll see this mission out because I know it’s the right
thing to do. And I’ll agree to this stupid cover Declan has thought up because in
a twisted way I know it makes sense. But once we’re
finished
I don’t ever want to see you again.”

Darcy headed to the door, and her hand was on the knob before he found the strength
to speak.

“You’re lying to yourself,” Brant said. “How can you give yourself to this man when
you think you’re in love with me?”

He watched her spine stiffen and the shudder that went through her body, and he felt
like the lowest kind of bastard. But damned if he was going to let another man have
what was his without a fight.

“Easy,” she said. “You’re the one that taught me that loving and fucking don’t necessarily
go hand in hand.
I don’t need one to do the other.
And the last time I checked, that’s how babies are still made. Thanks for the life
lesson, Brant.”

Darcy slipped out of the room while
he was still frozen in shock
. She wanted marriage and children, and sweat broke out on his
brow
as the thought
of
providing her with both of those things
didn’t terrify him as much as it
should have
.
He’d wanted
a family
of his own
once upon a time—with the wife who’d seduced him with her sultry looks and sharp mind.
The woman who’d had him so
tied
up in knots that he’d missed the signs that she might be something more than she’d
seemed.

He thought he’d loved Vivian. But he’d found out rather quickly that his instincts
were unreliable when it came to the emotion.
He hadn’t even known that Vivian was really blond and green-eyed until the investigation
had begun after her death.
But she’d known of his infatuation with Darcy
, even though Darcy had barely been eighteen when
he and Vivian had
married.
He’d been twenty-six at the time, and if Vivian hadn’t come along
and bewitched him
he would have ended up claiming Darcy much too young.

Vivian had
caught him by keeping her hair colored black and
wearing
pale blue permanent contact lenses that were an agency standard for deep cover agents.
She
had looked so much like Darcy he almost hadn’t felt guilty for thinking about her
while he was buried inside his wife. He’d been young and stupid. And it was those
similarities between the two women that had almost cost him his life. If he’d hesitated
just a second longer before pulling the trigger then it would have been him lying
six feet under instead of the woman who’d promised to love and cherish him for eternity.

Brant took a long pull of his forgotten beer, and set it back on the table with vicious
control. Darcy might have given up on him, and he couldn’t say that he blamed her,
but he’d come to realize that he couldn’t live without her. And he couldn’t stand
the thought of another man claiming his woman. If he had to fight to keep her, then
that’s what he’d do.

He only hoped she’d be agreeable to taking what he could give her.
He could give her marriage if she had to have it. And God knows if she wanted children
then he’d be more than up to the task of providing them. But l
ong gone were the days where Brant Scott gave his heart and soul to one woman. He’d
learned that lesson the hard way
—with a knife in his back and
his illusion of love shattered
.

Darcy spent a restless night, her body primed for release and
the heart she’d spent the last four years mending,
cracked and bleeding
once again
. She’d been able to
take care of the first problem—at least she’d taken the edge off—
but the second
problem
wasn’t something that could be fixed.