Pulse: A Stepbrother Romance (9 page)

I knew saying it would make Leah uncomfortable. And I knew that stepping close to her would make her even more so.

I did it anyway. I liked to make her uncomfortable. To push her and see if she could take it. To watch the way her cheeks turned delicate pink when I drew close.

“Why did you come?” she asked, her voice low as she looked up at me. We were inches apart.

I teased her a little more. “If you checked your phone, then you would already know. Thank you for the party last night. It was… Fun.”

She swallowed and her eyes traced my face. “That was the idea. I’m glad you had a good time. Tyra seemed to like you.”

“She did. But she’s not my type.” She’d backed against the counter and I put one hand on either side of her.

It almost didn’t matter what words came out of her mouth. Her eyes spoke. The eyes of a trapped woman who wasn’t sure if she should run or fight, or accept her capture.

“And what’s your type?”

I let my body nudge even closer to her. As close as two people could get without touching. Goosebumps pebbled her flesh even through the sweat as I brushed against the tiny invisible hairs covering her skin.

“Brunette, smart, sassy. A bit of a good girl who knows that deep down, she has a bad side.”

Her lips parted. They were right there, waiting for me. I held off, fighting the urge to take what her body offered and overwhelm her.

“I don’t think there are any girls like that here,” she said, the words barely audible. She stared at my lips as if she expected them to disappear.

When her pink tongue flicked out to lick her lips, I couldn’t resist any longer.

My left hand came up to hold the back of her head as my right crushed her body against mine. I took her mouth and kissed her hard, finding her already kissing me back.

Hormones raced through me, and my mind shook from excitement in a way that Tyra hadn’t been able to induce. This was what I needed. This was the slice of heaven I felt every time we touched.

I dropped my hands to her ass, so shapely and perfect in her tight yoga shorts. When I grabbed her cheeks and lifted, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around me as I set her on the counter.

When I dropped my lips to her neck, I heard her moan above me.

“Oh, yes,” she whispered as her hands buried themselves in my hair and held me to her. “That feels so good.”

I wanted to give her endless pleasure, push her higher and higher until she passed out from the bliss. I ran my hands up her sides before coming to the front to play with her breasts through her sports bra. I recaptured her lips and stifled the loud moan coming out of her.

This was what I’d wanted ever since I’d woken up Friday morning to find her gone. She was like a drug, and after one taste I’d gotten hooked. There was one thing I knew—I could never overdose on Leah.

Her legs still wrapped tight around me, I picked her up and carried her to the living room, getting to my knees and setting her on the couch. With eager hands, I hooked my fingers into her shorts.

As if snapping out of a dream, Leah shook.

“Wait.” She put her hands over mine, keeping them where they were. “Chris, we can’t do this.”

I growled. “What do you mean? We aren’t hurting anybody.”

“No, seriously, Chris, stop. I can’t go through with this. I know it feels good—God does it feel good. But it’s wrong. We’re related now.”

I shook my head. She concerned herself with pointless shit. “What does it matter? We don’t share the same blood, and our parents just got married last weekend. We’re adults, Leah. What they do should have no impact on us.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I love my father. I don’t want to give him any reason to be disappointed or upset because of something I’ve done. I doubt he’d approve of this.” She struggled to sit up fully and took my hands off her legs. “Besides, we aren’t right for each other. We could have pointless sex for a little while, but what would that accomplish? It’s not like we’re going to date.”

I knew she was right. She was so much better than I could hope to be, with a bright and cheery future ahead of her. All I had to look forward to was an endless string of days driving a forklift in a warehouse. No matter how much I wished it was different, that was my life.

“So, what? We stop whatever this is? Pretend that we feel no attraction toward one another? Live a crappier life because we aren’t supposed to be together?” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of my voice, and I stopped trying. I put my hand back on her thigh. She shivered. “I know you feel this, too, Leah. I’ve never felt this with anyone else.”

She closed her eyes and bit her lip, then reached down and removed my hand again. “Chris. You know stopping this is the right thing to do. The proper thing. There are millions of women in this city. You’ll find someone else.”

Her voice was shaky, as though she didn’t believe what she was saying.

“I’m not looking for someone else,” I said as I stood. “Not when I know what I want. Who I want.”

The tension was incredible, and when it snapped either we would go at each other like rabbits in heat, or else have a monstrous fight.

Leah didn’t take the bait, but just curled up on the couch, holding her knees to her chest. “Please leave, Chris.”

That’s it?
After everything we said, I didn’t want to just leave things hanging the way they were, but there was no other way out.

I stalked to the other side of the living room.

“What are you doing?” she asked. “I told you to leave.”

My patience ended.

“Fucking hell, Leah. I’m just grabbing my jacket where I left it last night. That’s the whole reason I came over here.” I took the leather coat and slung it over my elbow. “I’ll get out of your hair, then. It was nice knowing you.”

She didn’t move as I walked to the front door and let myself out. Slamming the door didn’t give me the satisfaction I wanted. The angry sound just echoed down the hall and mirrored the emptiness I felt inside of me.

“That was a sloppy delivery, Leah.”

I looked at Dr. Patterson in shock. The professor had never said anything but good things about my acting skills aside from the odd bit of constructive criticism.

“Try to draw your attention back to the room, if you will.”

I nodded, but the coaching shook me.

“Marco, tell me you didn’t sleep with another woman,” I said to the dark-skinned Italian who was my partner for the scene. “I need to hear it from your lips.”

Inwardly, I winced. I hadn’t practiced the scene at all in the run up to my other audition, and it showed.

“Bella, you know you’re the only one for me.” David took my hand and knelt down in front of me. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to stay by your side. Please, let me stay.”

It was an eerie echo of the conversation I’d had with Chris earlier that day. It was hard not to see his face on the man who knelt down in front of me. I tore my hand out of his grasp and turned away, tears springing to my eyes.

“Tell me,” I said. “Speak the words, or I’ll never talk to you again.”

“I…” he faltered. “I can’t, Bella. I can’t lie to you. But it meant nothing. Please, you have to believe it! I thought you were dead!”

“And how long after you thought I died did you sleep with that whore?” I said. “No, Marco. This is the end. Goodbye.”

I walked across the stage, exiting the scene to applause from the small group of classmates watching.

David stood and held his hand out as I came back to him, and we turned and gave a little half bow to the room.

“Much stronger on the finish,” Dr. Patterson said. “Good recovery, Leah. That was well done. You’ve always been great at summoning genuine emotion, and that’s one of the hardest things for an actress to learn.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said.

David and I climbed off the small stage, and the next pairing stood up to take their turn.

“Nice save,” David whispered. “I thought we would get crucified there.”

“Sorry about that,” I said. “I’ve got a lot on my mind—I had my audition for the play yesterday. I don’t know how it went, but I didn’t get much of a chance to look over the scene.”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re a natural. I’m always happy when I draw you as a partner for a scene. I think you’re the best actress in the class.”

The praise made me sit up a little taller in the seat. “Thank you, David. That’s nice of you to say. I like working with you, too.”

He winked at me and we watched the rest of the scene. Debbie and Drew were giving it their best, but a part of me couldn’t help analyzing their performance and pointing out all the flaws I saw.

Drew had a tendency to overdramatize, and it came out in his voice even when he thought he was doing a good job repressing it. He was getting better, but if he didn’t improve faster, he’d never do anything more than the odd commercial for the rest of his life.

Debbie was better, but she had little control over her inflection. No matter how excited her face said she was, her voice just wasn’t able to reflect the same enthusiasm. It was the same for any emotion she tried to put on, and it made her hard to work with. The one scene we’d had together had been a disaster.

When they finished, Dr. Patterson gave them their feedback.

“Mostly good, you two. Debbie, when you’re telling Drew how you feel, try to express yourself more. Pretend like you’re talking to an old boyfriend and really push that emotion through your voice. Drew, you need to tone it down. You’re great at projecting your voice, but it makes your voice sound unnatural. Try to inject more realism into it, and if you have to, I would even sacrifice volume until you have it under control.”

They climbed off the stage to make way for the next pair.

“Hey, Leah,” David said. “I heard that you broke up with your boyfriend, and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink with me on the weekend. There’s this band playing a show down at the Roundabout, and I thought you might like them.”

“David… are you asking me on a date?” It was a day I never thought I’d see. Rumors churned about the handsome Italian, foremost among them that he was gay.

“I thought I’d try my hand. I didn’t want to wait too long. The last couple times you were single, it lasted for a day or two.”

I’d gotten a reputation for that. Call me a serial monogamist, but it felt strange to be single. It felt like every time I left a guy, there was someone just waiting in the wings ready to step up to the plate.

“You noticed that? I didn’t think you were… interested that way.” It wasn’t a bad thing; half the guys in the program were gay.

He laughed. “I’m used to that. Just because I like guys means I can’t like girls, too? Seems like I’d be missing out on half the fun in the world. I don’t pick sides.”

Wow. That’s kind of cool.
I’d never been with a man who’d been with another man before. Part of me wondered what it would be like.

Even still, I’d have to decline. “Look, David, you’re cool, and I’m flattered that you look at me like that, but I don’t know.”

“I promise you nothing but a good time. We can just go as friends, if it makes it easier.”

It was hard to say no to him.

Why am I saying no, anyway? Because it’s too soon?

As much as I wanted to believe that was the reason, I knew why I wanted to turn down David’s invitation.

You and Chris can’t happen. You told him that, and you told yourself that. This is the perfect chance to get your mind off him.

Besides, as much as Chris was the wrong type of guy, David might well be the right type. He was handsome, intelligent. A fellow actor, so he would understand the pressures it could bring, especially when we got out of school and pursued professional careers.

And he had no part in the violence and danger that defined Chris’ life. David was safe.

“You know what? Screw it. Let’s go on a date, David. Thanks for inviting me.”

He grinned. “It’s my pleasure, Leah. We’ll have a ball.”

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out. It was the people from the play. I’d saved their number when they called to give me the audition.

“Give me a second!”

I edged my way out of the row and out the doors at the back of the class, being as quick and quiet as I could.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Miss Allen?”

“Yes, speaking.” My heart thumped in my chest.

“This is Annabelle from the Troubadour theater company, I’m calling to let you know that you’ve gotten the role of Annie. Congratulations!”

I couldn’t help it, I whooped.

“Yes!” I brought the phone back up to my ear. “Sorry about that. You’re sure?”

Annabelle laughed. “Oh, yes, you were miles better than any of the other actors auditioning. The panel knew right away.”

And I was so worried!

“Oh, thank you so much for this!” I danced from side to side, unable to hold in the happiness I felt.

“I’m glad I could help make your day,” Annabelle said. “Just like the auditions, we’ll be following up with an e-mail containing all the important information.”

“Thank you! Have a great day!” I knew I would.

“Thanks, go celebrate!” she said.

I closed my eyes and pushed my hands up to the ceiling as if I was reaching for the sky beyond. My body couldn’t contain all of my excitement.

I need to tell everyone!

I called up my favorite contacts without paying much attention.

“Leah?” The voice was disgruntled and surprised.

“I got the role! I’ll be in the play!”

“Congratulations,” Chris said. “I thought we weren’t talking anymore.”

I was so caught up in the excitement that I hadn’t even remembered I was supposed to be keeping him at arm’s length.

“Well, I thought you should know,” I sputtered. “So you don’t hear from someone else.”

“You’re an odd one. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Repeatedly.
Steph complained about it all the time while we grew up.

“I gotta go, have to tell Dad,” I said.

“You haven’t even told him yet?”

Crap. Shouldn’t have told him that.

“It was busy the first time I called. Bye.”

Now why the hell did I call Chris first, of all people?