Love Collides (Fate's Love #3) (18 page)

~

Christmas came and went. I helped Drew and Kero deliver food to the neediest families on Christmas morning, and the three of us plus some of the local staff had dinner together in the afternoon. That evening when Drew asked us what we all wanted to do New Year’s Eve, I told him that I wanted to fly home. He just smiled knowingly at me and said he would arrange it. It would probably mean flying on my birthday, but that didn’t matter. All that was important was getting home to Kade.

I felt lighter and yet fuller all at the same time. The hollow feeling that had arrived with me had almost disappeared. Just the thought of seeing Kade made me happy. I knew I had a lot of explaining to do, but it was time. It was time to let someone in, and time to trust someone with my deepest secrets.

The next day was spent cleaning headquarters. It was as humid as hell and my tank top and cut offs stuck to me like a second skin while I helped Drew and Kero bag up all the gift-wrap and leftover food. After three long and hot hours, I retired to my room and went straight for my cell phone. I rarely kept it turned on. The signal was intermittent at best in the village and I’d wanted the space. The telltale chime of the cell firing up filled my small room and I left it on the dresser while I stripped off and grabbed a towel. My phone vibrated in time with the voice message notification. And again. And again. Until it sounded like one continuous vibration.

Something was wrong.

My mind immediately went to Dad or my brothers or nieces, but when I grabbed my cell and saw name Livy, my world started to close in.

Kade.

Something’s happened to Kade.

I hit call and waited, but the connecting beep never came. Instead, I was met with nothing.

“Fuckety,” I yelled in frustration, my mind conjuring up all the possibilities of what could excuse the twenty-six missed calls and three voicemails from Livy.

Trying my voicemail instead, I relaxed slightly when it connected.

“Staci, it’s me. Something’s happened with Kade, no wait, I mean, Kade’s fine… it’s nothing like that, but there was an incident…” A muffled male voice interrupted and then Livy said, “Shh, Ethan, I’m talking. I’m still here. Look, when you get this, call me. And don’t worry. Everything is fine. Crap, just call me.”

The next two message were much the same.
Where was I? Please contact her.
The last one was time stamped three hours ago.

I hit dial again and waited. This time the call connected, but the line was unstable.

“Staci?” Livy’s voice crackled down the line.

“It’s me. What’s happened?”

“Something happened with Kade. He needs you, Staci.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can…” The line dropped out.

If there’d been any doubt before about flying home for New Year’s, then her call just made my mind up. Kade needed me, and I was going.

~ Kade ~

Footsteps sounded in the hallway, and I lifted my head to see who was approaching my cell.

“Ford, you made bail.”

I stood waiting for the guard to unlock the bars. After spending almost forty-eight hours in the place, I was ready for a hot shower and clean bed.

Fucking jail.

I’d done some questionable things in my life. Partied too hard, slept with far too many women, gotten into one too many fights at high school, but I’d never crossed the wrong side of the law. Until Larry Ford showed up on Mom’s doorstep and I saw red. My anger wasn’t unleashed, it had taken me over, and I forced my mom to witness her only son hauled away in the back of a police car. It was a definite low point in my twenty-six years.

The officer led me out to the reception where Ethan and Ashton were waiting for me with grim looks on their faces.

“Cous, you can thank us later.” Ashton wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

“You’ll need to sign this, Mr. Ford. And your personal belongings are in this container.” The man dumped a box on the counter and handed me a clipboard.

After pocketing my wallet and cell phone, I followed the guys out to Ashton’s car.

“What the hell, man?” Ashton ripped into me. “I knew you were gunning for him, but what the hell happened?”

We all climbed into the car, the two of them in front and me in the back. My head leaned against the headrest, and I clamped my eyes shut, the stain of the cell clinging to me.

“Kade, talk to us.”

“What is there to say?”

Ashton slammed his hand against the wheel. “You could start by explaining what the hell was going through your mind as you almost beat him to death.”

My body winced at his exaggerated words. I hadn’t gone to work on him that much, but Ashton had a point. Until Mom’s voice managed to break through my red haze, I was out of control. Dangerous. For a split moment, I had become my father.

And that terrified me more than anything.

“Ashton, ease off him a bit. He’s had a rough couple of nights.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Aunt Jess had to watch him beat the shit out of Larry and then get arrested. He put Larry in ICU, Ethan. Intensive fucking care. He could have killed him.”

“But he didn’t,” Ethan said in a measured voice.

It was as if I wasn’t there, listening in on a conversation that wasn’t meant for my ears.

“Yeah, well, the damage is done now. He could serve time for this. Then what will Aunt Jess do? He fucked up, Ethan; we all know it.”

“I am right here.”

“Yeah, because we just bailed your ass out.”

Refusing to get into it with Ashton, I didn’t reply. What was there to say anyway? Larry Ford deserved everything he got and more, but I had fucked up. And I’d have to own up to my mistakes one way or another.

~

“Oh, honey, come here.” Mom enveloped me in her arms and hugged me tight. “I was so worried.”

“I’m sorry, Mom.” I gulped back the emotion clogging my throat.

“Let’s sit. I made a pot of coffee or do you want a beer?”

Mom knew me too well. “Beer, please.”

“What about you boys?” She looked over my shoulder at Ethan and Ashton who were standing uncomfortably in the doorjamb.

“Beer, please, Aunt Jess.”

“Yeah, I’ll take a beer. I could use one after bailing this one out.”

A slight gasp left Mom’s mouth and she rounded me to get to the guys. “I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you. Thank you for bringing my boy home.”

“Mom, enough already. We’re grown men.”

“Kade Ford. It is a mother’s prerogative to coddle her only child. Isn’t that right, Ashton? You’re going to be a father soon, yourself.”

“I agree with the lady, Kade. Sorry, man.”

We all laughed, and some of the tension carried in from the car dissipated. But I’d seen the flash in Ashton’s eyes earlier, and I knew I hadn’t heard the end of it yet. Only he didn’t realize no one was beating themselves up more over what happened than I was.

I’d thought about nothing else since it happened. I’d replayed the scene over in my head. My fist connecting with his face. The crack of his bone. The splatter of blood landing on the pavement. The scene was imprinted on my mind, and I could almost remember it as if I was a bystander, watching myself beat the crap out of the piece of shit father. The maniacal look in my eye as I served him punishment.

It was only what I wanted—I’d thought about nothing else since we found out he was getting out. A chance to do what I should have done all those years ago, but now his blood was on my hands. And while it could have gone a lot worse, I didn’t like the person I’d become during those few minutes. I reminded myself too much of him. Maybe he was right; maybe I was more like him than I wanted to believe.

The thought made me want to puke.

“So, are we going to avoid the obvious, or are we going to talk about what happens next?” Ashton said, breaking the silence amongst us.

“I’ll get my court date, I guess. The lawyer said I have grounds for self-defense.” My voice didn’t sound as convincing as I’d hoped, and I didn’t mention that if he didn’t pull through, everything could change.

“Okay, and if you don’t?” Mom asked meekly, as if she hadn’t already prepared herself for the possible answer.

“I heard aggravated battery mentioned. But the good news is that they found a gun in his car, breaking the conditions of his parole.” It was hard to sound upbeat when I considered what Larry had planned on doing with a gun.
A fucking gun
. “He’ll be back inside, and hopefully, this time they’ll throw away the key.”

Three heads whipped in my direction.

“Aggravated battery? That’s a felony, Kade,” Mom shrieked, clearly panicked by my admission. “You could serve a prison sentence.”

She started sobbing into her handkerchief, and Ashton and Ethan shared another discreet look. It was too much. I was on overload, and I needed to get out of there.

“I need to get away. I’m going to head over to the apartment and clear my head. Ashton, do you think Aunt Theresa will mind checking in on Mom? Until I’ve straightened things out?”

His face contorted with anguish, but he managed a small nod. He didn’t like it. I could see his brain ticking over. But he could deal with it. Ashton wasn’t the one who beat his own father to a bloodied mess. That was all on me.

Chapter 14

~ Staci ~

Livy met me at baggage claim, smiling in my direction when she noticed me. But it didn’t reach her eyes like usual and the pit in my stomach widened. I tried not to scan the crowd, but I couldn’t help it. Something in my gut told me walking away from Mikey wasn't the end, and although it seemed over-the-top to expect him to appear, I couldn’t help it.

"I'm so glad you're here."

I untangled myself from her arms and glared at her. "What the hell is going on? All those messages…and when I finally get a good connection to call you, you won't tell me a damn thing."

Livy dropped her eyes to the floor. "It's not my story to tell. He's in a bad way, Stace. He- he needs you."

"Is he sick? You have to tell me if he's sick, I can't- I couldn't-"

"No, no, I promise he isn't sick. But something did happen while you were away.” Livy started shaking her head. “Christ, things really went to shit."

"Olivia Bannon, will you just tell me what the fuck is going on."

Livy took my hand in hers and squeezed gently. "Kade was arrested."

"Wha-what? Why?”

"It's a long story. His story."

“Shit, I haven’t even been gone three weeks. Arrested?”

“It’s serious.” Her lips drew into a tight line. “You should really talk to him first.”

“If he even wants to see me,” I muttered under my breath, thinking out loud as I followed her out of the terminal.

“Whether he knows it or not, he needs you. And you need to be there for him. That shit you pulled by running away like that; not cool, Staci. What in the hell were you thinking? You had us all worried.”

“I reacted badly to some stuff.”

She eyed me suspiciously. “You’re telling me. One day soon, I’ll get it out of you even if it kills me. Don’t think I can’t see there’s stuff going on with you.”

Livy climbed into the car and I joined her, immediately reaching for her hand across the seat. “Thank you. Thank you for calling me. You probably won’t believe me, but I was coming back anyway. For him,” I added quietly.

“Well, it’s about time. Now, let’s get you home and cleaned up. You look awful.”

~

My hand hovered over the buzzer to Kade’s apartment building. Livy refused to tell me anything other than Kade was a mess. He had completely withdrawn and was refusing to see anyone. Whatever had gone down while I was away was bad, and something told me it was going to take more than just asking to be buzzed in for him to let me up.

So much for my big surprise.

No one would believe that I was actually planning to fly back the day before New Year’s Eve now, and I would forever be the girl who left. But none of it mattered, not with Kade upstairs, holed up in his apartment battling his own demons.

It’s bad
, was all Livy kept saying when I pushed her for more details. He wasn’t hurt, but he was hurting, which wasn’t the Kade I knew at all. And that worried me more than anything.

I reached out and pressed the buzzer to be welcomed with silence. Refusing to give up, I pressed again. And again. But still nothing. This wasn’t working. I needed to regroup. Kade wouldn’t even know I was the one down here trying to get up.

An idea struck me. Taking a seat on the bench against the wall, I waited for my opportunity. After half an hour, I was about to give up and go back to Livy’s when a couple approached the door. I stood up, trying to look inconspicuous as they swiped their keycard and pushed open the door. Once they entered, I waited until the last possible moment, stuck my hand in the narrow gap to stop the door from closing, and ducked inside.

Stage one of my plan was complete, but now I had no clue as to how I was going to get Kade to let me in. I was probably the last person he wanted to see. But it was too late now; I was standing outside of his door.

Don’t overthink it.
I rapped my knuckles gently against the wood.

Nothing.

I tried again.

Nothing.

Third time lucky.

Nothing.

My body slouched down the door, and I leaned against the wall, tipping my head back. Other than banging on the door like a crazy person and risking arrest myself, I had nothing. Kade’s radio silence was deafening. But Livy’s words kept replaying in my head,
he needs you
. I’d already let him down once; I wasn’t about to do it again.

I leaped to my feet and started banging my fist on the door, loud enough that Kade had to hear me, but not so loud that I was creating a scene. At first, there was nothing. But then I heard footsteps on the other side, and my heart synced to the sound.
Thud, thud, thud. Thud, thud, thud.

The door whooshed open.

“Ethan, I told you I needed time. Just leave me the fuck alone okay.” Kade’s eyes widened and then narrowed as his lips drew into a grim line. “Oh.”

Oh.
Not quite the reception I had hoped for, but I’d take it. Barging past him, I stood in the middle of the room.

Kade didn’t bother closing the door, as he turned and said, “Staci, I’m really not in the mood.”

My eyes quickly swept over him, honing in on his swollen knuckles. They looked sore, and my mind immediately went to the other guy’s face. Growing up with three brothers, I’d tended to my fair share of busted up knuckles after a fight. But apart from his hands and the days’ old stubble covering his jaw and tired eyes, Kade looked good.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” I folded my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling exposed.

“Like you want to kiss me all better. You should leave.”

Ouch.

“I’m not leaving.”

“I don’t want you here.” Kade’s voice didn’t sound as convincing as my own.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Please. Leave.” His jaw ticked, and I could see it was taking everything he had to say the words.

“No.”

We stood in some kind of standoff. Our usual roles reversed.

“Fine. Stay. Make yourself at home. I’ll be in my room.” Kade swung the door shut and stormed right past me in the direction of his room. Seconds later, the door slammed and I was left standing in Kade’s apartment.

Alone.

~ Kade ~

Staci was here, in my apartment. What the fuck was she doing here? She was supposed to be in Ecuador, thousands of miles away. She wasn’t supposed to see me like this. She wasn’t supposed to see the fucking mess that I had become since beating Dad to a pulp.

I left her standing in the living room while I retreated to my room to hide. Seeing her was like a sucker punch to the stomach. If only she had shown up three days ago, now that might have been a different story. I didn’t doubt I would have hurt him, but there was no denying that I had allowed my frustrations and anger to get the better of me. Frustrations that weren’t only about Dad.

“Kade.” She tried turning the locked door handle. “Kade Ford, open this door, or so help me God, I will kick it down.”

Even in my mood, I had to stifle a little laugh at her feistiness. Most girls would have walked away after their second or third attempt at ringing the buzzer. Not Staci Jameson.

Why couldn’t you have arrived sooner?

That was the million-dollar question; would things have been any different? Did she really calm the rage in me? When my eyes fell on him standing there ready to hurt Mom, I saw red—hot, blinding, angry red. It wasn’t me. Not really. But the person I became at the mention of
his
name wasn’t worried about right or wrong. I just wanted revenge—justice and consequences be damned. I became
him
.

“Kade. Open up.”

Storming across the room, I yanked the door open. “Fuck off.”

Staci’s face hardened. “How dare you talk to me like that?” Her eyes glared at me and she stood as tall as she could, trying to even the height difference between us.

“Just go. I don’t want you here.”
It only makes things harder,
I wanted to add, but I didn’t, glaring down at her.

“Kade. Don’t push me away. Please," she pleaded. "Let me be here for you.”

A bitter laugh rose up in my throat. “Push you away? I think that’s your M.O., not mine.”

Staci’s eye fluttered shut, and she sighed. Christ, that sound. I wanted to go to her and let her hold me. I wanted her to shelter me from the shitstorm surrounding me, trying to sweep me up in its fury. But it was too late.

“I- I was coming back. For New Year’s, like you asked. I know you probably won’t believe me now, not with everything that has happened. But my flight was due to fly out in two days. I wanted to surprise you.”

My eyes flew to hers. “It doesn’t change anything.”

It changes everything
, my mind yelled.

Staci’s shoulders sagged, and a look of defeat washed over her features. She believed every word, and I hated myself. There would come a day in the not so distance future when I’d look back at this moment and regret every dumb word coming out of my mouth. But I had bigger things to think about than us now. I had to think about whether or not I was going to spend the next five years in a prison cell.
Just like my old man.

Staci stepped toward me, reaching out with her hand. “Kade, I-”

“You should go. Close the door on your way out.”

I couldn’t watch her leave. I couldn’t watch the unshed tears fall from her eyes. I couldn’t see the defeated slouch on her slender frame.

I was a bastard.

And I didn’t deserve her.

~ Staci ~

Livy and Ethan collected me from Kade’s building. It had started raining out, and they found me standing on the curbside, soaked to the core. My own tears were invisible against the water running off my hair and down my face.

“That bad, huh?”

“It could have been worse. He could have physically thrown me out.”

“Screw this; I’m going up.” Ethan started to unbuckle his belt, but Livy laid her hand across his lap. “Let him be. He’s been through a lot. Give him time.”

Ethan grimaced, clearly unhappy with Livy’s suggestion. Sick of being out of the loop, I cleared my throat and demanded, “Will someone tell me what the fuck has been happening while I’ve been away?”

Livy looked to Ethan, and they shared some kind of message. He nodded. “She should know. If Kade doesn't tell her, I will.”

“Fine. He’ll hate you for this. But I agree, she should know. Let’s get back and we can talk.”

At last.

~

Livy handed me a cup of coffee and sat beside me. Ethan was perched in the chair opposite me.

“So…” I let the word hang in the air. Neither of them seemed forthcoming, and I was starting to get pissed.

“Did Kade ever talk to you about his father?” Ethan scrubbed a hand over his jaw and watched me.

“He mentioned him briefly once, but no details. He was always closed off about his past and his family. We all have our secrets, right?” I laughed, but it came out strangled, and I felt Livy’s eyes burning into me.

Shit.

“Kade’s dad, Larry, was a mean bastard. He used to beat Jess. And I’m pretty sure he knocked Kade around once or twice, although he’s never really talked about it.”

So that was his big secret. It explained some of Kade’s caginess when we had dinner with his mom. But I was still at a loss as to why Ethan was telling me all of this.

“Some things make sense now, but I still don’t know what this has to do with whatever is going on him with him.”

Ethan shifted in his chair, clearly uncomfortable about breaking Kade’s confidence. “About ten years ago, Kade walked in on Larry beating Jess pretty bad. Larry ended up giving Kade a concussion and beating Jess within inches of her life.”

My stomach churned, picturing Jess—the lovely, kind woman who had welcomed me into her home with open arms—fighting for her life. What sick son of a bitch did that to his wife? To his son?

“Larry was arrested and charged with attempted murder. Kade found out a few weeks back that he was up for parole…”

No, no.
The pieces started to drop into place. Each one shattering my heart a little more for the guy I was falling hopelessly in love with.

“Four days ago, Larry turned up on Jess’s doorstop. Kade was there.” Ethan’s eyes hardened, but somehow softened all at the same time. He was Kade’s best friend; no doubt, he shared the same anger at Larry turning up in their lives again, but also the sadness for whatever Kade had done.

“What happened, Ethan?”

“Kade lost it. Larry is in the ICU. Kade was arrested, but Ashton and I managed to post his bail.”

Larry is in the ICU
, was the only thing to stick. Kade had beat his dad so badly that he was in the ICU. The place people went when they were fighting for their lives.
Kade almost killed his dad.
I clutched my stomach fighting the urge to gag.