Love Collides (Fate's Love #3) (10 page)

My eyes swept around the room. There was no sign of Mikey, and now that I was standing here with my brothers, the reality of the situation was overwhelming. Maybe I'd made a mistake by coming here.

"Well, don't just stand there; come on in. I'll order pizza and give you the grand tour." Tanner tried to take my bag from Joel but backed off when Joel growled at him. I smiled to myself. They had always been the same. Both wanting to look out for me. It was sweet but suffocating. I wasn't a child anymore.

An hour passed, and then another. Joel and Tanner had me howling with laughter and it felt good to let loose after spending the last few weeks on edge. But as night fell over the house, Mikey showed no sign of making an appearance.

Stretching my arms above my head, I yawned. "I'm beat. Can I call it a night?"

My brothers groaned in protest but jumped into action, grabbing my things and leading me to a small bedroom on the second floor. I wouldn't sleep without knowing, so before they left me to get settled for the night, I asked, "No Mikey tonight? The three of you are sharing, right?"

An indecipherable look passed between my brothers, widening the growing pit in my stomach.

"He's, hmm, out. He'll be back later. Don't worry about it." Joel pressed a kiss to my head and they left me.

Two hours later, I was still lying there. I couldn't sleep, not with all the thoughts streaming through my mind. Besides, the nausea was kicking my ass lately. The house was quiet; I'd heard the click of my brothers’ doors some time earlier. Unable to hold it together any longer, I flipped back the comforter and tiptoed quietly to the bathroom at the end of the hallway.

I ran the faucet and splashed my face with some water, undecided whether I needed to actually puke. The tiles were cool underneath my feet, and I slid down the wall resting my head between my legs. Downstairs, the front door rattled and the faint sounds of laughter drifted up the stairs.
Mikey.
It was still instinctual to want to go to him. To have him wrap me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay. But that thought was shattered when I heard female laughter.
He's with a girl.
My stomach lurched, with a different kind of nausea. He was seeing someone? Already? Before he left, he told me wanted to focus on football and reassured me that it wasn't about meeting girls or not wanting me. But her giggles suggested otherwise.

Panicking, I dragged myself up and crept out of the bathroom and back to my room, closing the door behind me. I wanted to get my bag and haul ass back to Kaplan, far far away from Mikey and his lies. But Joel and Tanner would lose it if they woke up and I was gone. No, I was stuck here listening to them.

And when I thought it couldn't get any worse, their footsteps sounded on the stairs and passed my room. The door along from my room clicked and voices filled the room next to me. His room adjoined mine. I grabbed a pillow and wrapped it around my head trying to block out the sounds of her moans, tears slipping down my face.

~

Light seeped through the blinds and I slung an arm over my fuzzy head. I'd finally fallen asleep sobbing to the muffled sounds coming from Mikey's room. It was only just past eight according the clock hanging above the dresser, but there was movement downstairs. Shouting.

"...it's out of control..." Joel's distorted voice carried through the house. " .. different girl every night... we're sick of it, Mikey. Get rid of her, Staci is here and I don't want her having to deal with that shit."

"Staci's here? What the hell do you mean Staci's here?"

I sat up on my elbows, straining to hear his voice.

"Exactly what it sounds like. She's visiting, and I don't want her having to deal with one of your groupies."

Groupies?

Feet pounded on the stairs and the door to Mikey's room slammed. It sounded like he was waking his
friend
and making her get dressed and leave. She yelled something about him being a jerk and the door slammed again.

I sat stunned. What was I doing here? Mikey had clearly moved on; he’d forgotten all about me back in Kaplan. Would he even care that I was pregnant? He hadn't once called or checked in on me since he left. My hand moved to my stomach and something in me snapped. I leaped out of bed, gathering up my clothes and ramming them into my bag. I needed to get out of there.

Knocking at the door startled me, "Stace, you want breakfast?" Tanner called through the wood.

"Hmm, no thanks, Tan. I'll be down in a few."

Five minutes later, I was standing in the kitchen with my bag packed, fidgeting nervously on the spot. Noticing my bag, Tanner frowned. “You’re not leaving already? You just got here. Surely the place isn’t that bad?”

“The fuck she’s leaving. Right, sis?” Joel strolled into the room grounding to a halt when he spotted the bag at my feet.

Without giving myself time to backtrack, I said with as much confidence as I could muster, “Gina called. A couple of the girls let her down. She begged me to haul ass back home and cover the afternoon shift. I owe her, so I couldn’t say no.”

It was the best cover I had. My brothers knew how much I loved my job at Gina’s Grill. I just hoped Joel wouldn’t do something crazy like call her up and try to get me out of my bogus shift.

“You don’t have to leave yet though, right? Stay for a tour of campus?”

The look of hope on their faces had me saying, “One hour max.” I could manage that. “Just the three of us,” I added quickly.

“You got it. Just the Jamesons together again like old times.” Tanner draped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “Well, minus Eric, but he’s all Mom’s side anyway.”

“Tan,” I punched him in the arm. “That’s a low blow. Eric is one of us, too.”

We all broke out into laughter, and just for a second, Mikey Turner was a distant thought.

***

“Mikey is… Mikey was…” I swallowed hard, pushing down the anxiety clogging my throat. “Mikey was my first boyfriend. We dated in high school.”

Kade scowled, deep lines creasing his beautiful face. “You’re going to have to give me a little more than that. High school boyfriends don’t usually show up out of the blue years later causing arguments on the sidewalk.”

“But this one did. I swear, I have no idea what he wants or how he even knew I was here. I haven’t spoken to him in years.”

Saying it aloud did make it sound kind of crazy.

“You look liked you’d seen a ghost. Did he leave a mark or something?”

Or something.
The words lingered on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say anything. Kade’s scowl turned to confusion.

“Let me get this straight. Your ex—and first boyfriend, by all accounts—who you haven’t seen for almost a decade turned up out of the blue. Today. In Gainesville. And he didn’t know you were here? That’s more than just a coincidence.”

You’re telling me.

“Hmm, in a nutshell.”

“So what did he say? Because it looked like more than just old friends getting reacquainted.”

Fuckety.
I was hoping Kade hadn’t seen the full show, but from his serious tone, I knew he’d seen enough to draw his own conclusions. Dipping his head forward, Kade entered my space, causing me to suck in a sharp breath at the intensity of the moment. “What is he to you?”

Nothing.

Everything.

Kade wasn’t going to let this drop. If I didn’t give him something, he was going to push me until I cracked. And if I cracked, I wasn’t sure what would be left of me.

“Mikey Turner was my everything.”

Kade flinched, and it did something to my insides. How tragic—twenty-six and relishing in a guy being jealous over your ex from a different time in your life. But it wasn’t that he was jealous; it was that he cared enough to be.

A long sigh left my body as I sunk into Kade’s couch, letting myself remember. “You can’t imagine what growing up was like for me. Three brothers and a father with small town ambition. I didn’t live; I was coddled. And not in the tiara and ponies kind of way. Dad literally had my brothers wrap me up in cotton wool. It was suffocating. No one wanted to be my friend. They didn’t dare try. People avoided me like I had the plague. It was that damn bad. And then Mikey Turner noticed me.

“He was Joel and Tanner’s—my eldest brothers—best friend. I hung out with them occasionally when they let me. At first, he treated me the same as they did, the annoying kid sister tagging along. But one day out of the blue he kissed me.
Me.
Staci Jameson, sister of Joel, Tanner, and Eric. I’d crushed on his boy-next-door good looks for almost two years. We fell hard. I guess the secrecy and sneaking around made it more exciting or something…”

My words hung in the air. That was all Kade was getting. I wasn’t ready to reveal the true extent of how Mikey Turner changed me forever. That was my secret to carry; it was my burden to bear. The pool of tears building in my eyes wanted their release, but I gulped them back and closed my eyes, refusing to give them power over me.

“Staci.” Kade’s voice was a whisper. “Look at me.” His thumb swept over my cheek, grazing the corner of my eye. “Staci, please.”

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be that broken girl, crying over lost chances and things that were never supposed to be. Not here, not in front of Kade Ford. He wasn’t attracted to
that
girl. He wanted the dirty mouthed, sassy blond bombshell who liked hard liquor and harder sex. The air around me shifted and Kade’s lips brushed mine. He was accepting my silence, but he refused to let me run again. I felt it in the intensity in his touch. As his tongue gently parted my reluctant lips, I realized I didn’t want to run. I needed this.

I wanted Kade Ford. In ways I’d tried to tell myself I didn’t.

~ Kade ~

I didn’t give Staci a choice, leading us to my bedroom. She had melted into my kiss—giving herself over to me—and I intended to make her forget the strung-out jerk from earlier. Something still didn’t add up—I saw it in her eyes and heard it in her voice. There was more to the version of events she had spun me, but none of that mattered right now. All that I cared about was taking away the sadness in her eyes.

My hand wrapped possessively around hers. Our silence made the anticipation and tension crackling between us almost unbearable. I just wanted to get her inside the room.

The last time she was here, it hadn’t been about sex, but now was different. Now I wanted to make her feel, to erase Mikey—her so-called
first everything
—and make her remember how good
we
were together.

The door clicked shut behind us, breaking some of the tension. Unwilling to give Staci a chance to reconsider, I closed the space between us. “It’s just you and me,
friend
. And as your friend, it’s my duty to make you smile.”

Chapter 9

~ Kade ~

“Thank you.” Staci nudged my arm with her nose as I drew lazy circles on her bare shoulder.

“So…did I make you forget?”

I was pretty sure I’d wiped clean any memories of Turner from Staci’s mind, but the caveman in me needed some kind of confirmation. Yeah, I was officially a dick.

She rolled on her side to come face to face with me. “You did an excellent job, Ford. Gold star for you.”

Staci’s snarky reply elicited a rumble of laughter from me. “Okay, so I probably went a little far, but on a serious note, you’re okay?”

She nodded. “I’m good. In fact, I’m more than good. I’m peachy with a side of keen.” Flashing me her best over-the-top smile, Staci added, “I’m so good,
friend
, I don’t think I can remember my own name.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. No more dickish statements. Scouts honor. It was a dumb thing to say. But, you should know, this is a first for me.”

Her eyes creased with confusion. “Like your first lay of the week?”

“Haha, very fucking funny, Jameson. No, not my first lay of the week.” I tapped her nose with my finger. “You, oh short one, might just be the first girl I ever surfed with.”

Rolling away from me, Staci flopped against the pillows and blew out an exasperated sigh while she pretended to pick her nails.

“What? That not good enough for you?”

“I thought I at least might be the first girl to let you do that thing you love where I bend double and-”

“Darcy Bulls.” I cut her off, smirking. “Summer after graduation. Sorry.”

“Dick.”

“You asked. Okay, I have another one but no laughing.”

Staci shifted again, sitting up next to me crossing her slim legs in front of her. “Ooh, this is going to be good. I can tell by the serious look on your face. Hit me with it,
friend
.”

“So, without bringing down the mood, you said last night that he who shall remain nameless was your first boyfriend, right? Well, I never had that.”

I reached out and tipped her jaw shut. She was gaping as if I’d just talked in a foreign language. “Don’t look so surprised. We both know I’m no saint.” I flashed her a grin. “But I never really dated, and I certainly never did this.” My hand swept between us.

“This?”

“Random road trips, surfing, the whole sleeping with a member of the opposite sex without any actual sex thing. It’s all new to me. Which makes you,
friend
, my first.”

It had sounded funny in my head. A bit of a joke. But the second the words left my mouth, I realized how suggestive they sounded. Staci’s face gave nothing away which only made my heart slam against my chest harder. Why was opening up to her so difficult? Oh, right, because after watching my father beat my mother to a pulp for years and her always going back for more, I was an emotionally stunted individual. Sex equaled no feelings. That was always my rule.

Until her. Staci Jameson; tiny blond firecracker.

After a few seconds, I broke the silence, unable to deal with the growing unease in my chest.
Maybe she doesn’t feel it, too.

“Disappointed?”             

“I... I- wow, I had no idea you felt this way.”

Felt this way
?

Now I was the one staring at her as if she was from another planet, without a single thing to say.

“Kade Ford is in love with little old me.” Staci stroked a hand across my jaw, and my mouth fell open a little more.

What the fuck…love?

“I mean, it’s hard not to fall for me. Don’t worry. You’re not the first; you certainly won’t be the last. Just a good thing I’m not looking for anything serious and you’re just another guy under my spell. It’ll pass. You’ll see.” Tapping my cheek twice, Staci smiled and left the bed. She sauntered out of the room, taking my ability to form words with her.

Love?

~ Staci ~

I stared at the girl in the mirror wanting to slap the look of panic right off her face.
What the fuck was I thinking?
Kade had done that thing again—getting all serious and talking like he was trying to tell me something. Something I wasn’t ready to hear. So I tried to divert the conversation and make light of things. And what came out of my mouth—suggesting that he was falling in love with me.
Bravo, Jameson, brav-fucking-oh.
Jokes aside, the look on his face was priceless, but how did I undo this? I’d planted the seed now. I’d lodged the thought in his mind, and I could imagine his inner turmoil. He was probably lying out there right now questioning whether what he felt could actually be love, especially if what he said earlier was true—that he had never dated. That I was his first. Or he was going to kick me out and avoid me for all eternity.

Christ, we were a match made in heaven. If the timing wasn’t so shitty and Mikey hadn’t crashed back into my life, perhaps we could give things a shot. Kade could piece me back together crack by crack, and I could be his first in all the ways that count. We could create our own rules and fix each other in the process. But now? Now Mikey was somewhere in Gainesville wanting to talk; haunting me with memories. Not to mention, I’d just probably given Kade heart failure.

After spending too long in the bathroom, I finally returned to Kade’s room. He was still in bed, his eyes closed, and breathing deeply. My eyes raked over his naked torso, the rise and fall of his chest revealing his sculpted definition, and the comforter draped teasingly over his pelvis. The dark trail of hair from his stomach disappearing underneath. I licked my lips. What the hell was wrong with me? A second ago, I’d holed myself up in the bathroom to have a meltdown, and now I was ready to pounce on him.

“Are you going to stand there and stare all morning? Or are you going to join me?”

“Wha- how did you know I was here?”

“You're not exactly stealthy.”

I crept over to the bed and climbed under the comforter into his extended arm. “Liar.” I nudged his side with my elbow.

“Fine. I peeked. Now, where were we?”

Not talking about falling in love.

“I think we should add another first to your list." The words tumbled out of my mouth. I was on fire this morning.

“Oh, yeah?” Kade’s eyes opened, searching mine.

“Ever skipped out on work to stay in bed all day?”

His eyebrows shot up, and he smiled. “Sure, once or twice.”

“Ever skipped out on work and stayed in bed all day with a naked girl in your bed?"

Seriously, where was I going with this?

“Hmm, let me think. There was that one time- umm, no. Definitely not.” Blue eyes sparkled back at me.

“I’m supposed to meet with my professor, but I could blow him off to stay here and well, blow you?” Laughter bubbled up and I buried my head the crook of Kade’s arms.

Kade's chest rumbled, and he started laughing. Just like that, the awkwardness from ten minutes ago vanished. This was how we worked best. Skirting over the serious stuff and joking around. Hiding our true feelings behind sex. Sex was our form of communication. Besides, it was better this way. Easier. Less messy. Safer.

“That sounds like the best plan you’ve had in a while,
friend
.”

~ Kade ~

“Christ woman, you’ll be the death of me.” I lifted Staci off me and tugged her down beside me, our slick bodies colliding. When she’d suggested skipping work and classes to stay in bed all day, I knew she was trying to cover her earlier slip. But five hours and three orgasms later, it didn’t matter. I’d shout it from the rooftops if it meant more days like this.

“Glad I talked you into skipping work?”

Brushing my lips against her neck, I replied, “I don’t think it really took much persuading. Do you?”

Staci wiggled her butt against my dick, and it twitched, causing her to laugh. “Surely not again. Not yet. I need food. And water. I need to pee.”

“Don’t blame me. It has a mind of its own.”

“Tell it to someone who cares, mister.”

Things were back to normal between us. Sex was our art of conversation. But I hadn't been able to stop thinking about what Staci had said. Was I really falling in love with her?

Did it matter if I was?

Of course, it matters. She's leaving. First chance she gets, she's out of here.

"Where'd you go just then?" Staci twisted in my arms so close that our noses were almost touching.

"Huh?"

"Just then. We were talking and then you went quiet on me."

"I was just thinking."

"Whoa, steady on there." Staci smiled.

My hand skated down her naked waist and squeezed her ass.

"Ouch."

"That was for being mean,
friend
."

"So what goes through Kade Ford's head?"

"Oh, you know. What's to eat, cars, hot pieces of ass..." I smirked, brushing my lips over Staci's. "You."

"Me?" Her voice shivered against my mouth.

"I know we said friends with benefits, but that isn't really working out for me anymore."

What the?

"
Kade-" Staci started to wriggle free from me, but I clamped my arms tight holding her to me. "Wait. Just hear me out."

Nudging my nose against hers, I forced her to look at me. Fear was all over her face. Staci was scared. Well, that made two of us. I didn't do this. I didn’t make grand declarations of how I felt. But I wanted more.

There, I'd admitted it.

I wanted more with her.

"One date. Give me one date. I'm not asking for anything else; I just want a chance to take you out. For real."

I was asking for so much more...but I didn't say the words. She would run for the hills quicker than I could catch her.

Staci's eyes fluttered shut and her hands wound into her stomach. "I don't know. Dates lead to expectation. I can't promise you anything, Kade. I'm going back to Ecuador in a few weeks."

Her words were like a punch to the gut. I was in over my head. I had let myself break my number one rule. Only I hadn't been in control in the first place. Staci was calling all of the shots, whether she knew it or not. I was just along for the ride. And I'd been trying to tell myself that I was okay with that. Friends with benefits. It was, after all, my idea. But who was I kidding? I was so far gone over this girl.

Fuck.

I didn't know whether it was sheer desperation or me throwing all my chips in, but I found myself saying, "Don’t make me beg because you know I will. Just. One. Date."

Staci pressed her face into my chest. She was hiding. Again. A sinking feeling settled over me, and I guessed it was what rejection felt like. But then I felt lips move against my skin.

"Okay. One date."

It was a whisper, but I heard it.

~ Staci ~

It wasn't a good idea. Every fiber of my being screamed it, but Kade looked at me like I was something special. And until recently—until Kade—I hadn't realized how much I needed that.

I’d built my life by keeping people at arm's length. Never getting too close. Protecting my heart. But I had kept people out for so long that I forgot what it was like to feel wanted. To have someone to lean on and share the burden.

Kade made me remember.

He was fixing some of the broken in me. His smile warmed the ice frozen around my heart. His persistence chipped away at the wall I'd worked so hard to build around myself.

"I'll date your socks off." Kade grinned at me like he'd just won the Powerball.

I knew he was making light of the situation for me. He already knew me too well.

"Just let me know when and where and I'll be there." I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes. The voice in my head wouldn't stop screaming how bad of an idea this was.

"Oh, I will,
friend
. I will." Kade pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead and left me wrapped in the comforter. "I have to go see my mom later, but I'll see you soon."

It wasn’t a question, so I didn't answer. Kade Ford was changing in front of my eyes, and if I didn’t know better…he was changing for me.

Maybe I could, too.

Maybe
.

~

“Holy hell, you look hot. Wow, he’s going to die.” Lou’s eyes looked ready to bug out of her head.

I chuckled. “Well, I agreed to this thing, so figured I might as well go all out.”

“Oh, you went all out all right. Kade won’t know where to look first.”

“Kade won’t know where to wha-” Russ joined us in the living room, jaw hanging open as if he’d never seen a girl in a dress before. “Holy shit, Staci. I mean, hmm, nice; you look nice.”

“Babe, don’t worry, I know how hot she looks.” Lou wrapped her arm around him and shook her head muttering to herself. “Guys.”