Life Begins (8 page)

              Žarko walked in just as she thought he would have, right when she pulled out the last load from the large dryer. He strode toward her, the eye of every woman and some of the males watching him move. Josie wanted to laugh about that. He did make a fine figure with an open black leather jacket, black t-shirt and jeans hugging his muscles lovingly. It also gave just a sneak peek at the edges of the tattoos she knew were covering his torso.

              She watched as his hand grabbed hold of her cart, moving it slightly as she pulled out heaps of clothing from the warm dryer. “You do look tired,” she told him. And just like she thought, he’d been smoking.

              “I’m wearing glasses, how can you tell that I’m tired?”

              She brushed her thumb across his cheek, very close to his lips. “You only frown when you’re tired. Every other time, you’re too busy sneering at everybody.” She couldn’t say she was surprised when he leaned down to kiss her. Somehow, it just felt natural to let him, even if she had to taste cigarette ash on his tongue.

              “I was just thinking that maybe we could order something from a restaurant of your choice. Maybe something Serbian, since you talk about the stuff I make. Then, maybe we can just watch a movie. I know that we’re supposed to talk about our terms, but since we’ve already put it off a few days, I don’t think I’d mind if we put it off another.”

              He moved with her toward the folding table she’d been using and leaned against the edge while she folded the last of their clean clothes. “You do not mind?” he finally asked her. She shook her head.

              “I think that if we’re talking about something as important as marriage, then it’s imperative that we talk about expectations. I know we say wife and husband, or housewife, but that’s such a broad term. After the miserableness of my first marriage, I want to know exactly what I’m getting into. I think that we need to talk about everything so that there’s never a misunderstanding between us.”

              “I think same.” He reached for the waiting bags, leaving her to take the smaller one with her children’s clothing when she’d finished putting everything together for travel. They went outside, where she saw his behemoth parked next to her own minivan.

              He turned to her once he’d set the bags in the back seat and reached out for what she had, also putting it inside his vehicle. “I will go get food and meet you at apartment.”

              “Do you need me to stop and get something?” she asked. She couldn’t exactly put up the clothing that he insisted on taking with him, while she waited.

              He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He passed her a hundred dollar bill. “Do you remember where is the store I took you?” When she nodded he said, knowing that he meant the liquor store he’d taken to before they’d bought her car, “Ask the clerk to give you my
pivo
. He knows the right brand.”

              Again, she nodded. “Do you need me to go to the Redbox for a movie?”

              He shook his head. “I will bring us movie. You get
pivo
.”

              She nodded her head as if that made total sense. “Fine, then. Break.” She clapped her hands like she was coming out of a football huddle. “See you at the house.”

Chapter 8

              She’d gotten his beer and had gone back to her own apartment to calm down. She had no idea when he planned to return, but she gave herself as much time as she felt she needed to keep a cool head with him and as long as he wasn’t knocking on her door, she assumed that he might not have yet arrived. It was only when an hour and a half had gone by without hearing from him that she took the risk of heading to his door, beer in hand.

              She knocked briefly, almost feeling timid with it. He answered, pulling the door open slowly. The first thing she noticed about him was that he was shirtless. The second thing was that there wasn’t the buffer of the children to keep her from doing something stupid. She felt silly, knowing that she hadn’t dressed any better. She wasn’t practically naked, like him, but she had wanted to be comfortable lounging around on what essentially could be seen as a date.

             
Why did I have to think the word date?
She didn’t have much time to beat herself up over her decision, because he was reaching for her arm holding the drinks. “What took you so long?” he said, as he began pulling her inside. Distantly, she heard the neighbor’s door across the hall opening. She quickly entered the apartment, not wanting to be seen in her only pair of tiny exercise shorts and tank.

              “I thought you would knock on my door to let me know you were here.” She wasn’t going to admit to feeling a lot of nervousness. She felt like hornets were having a party in her stomach, not butterflies. And she couldn’t stop looking at Žarko’s underwear peeking out the top of his jeans. There was a tattoo just above that edge in what she assumed was his language, and it didn’t take a genius to know that she didn’t want it translated.

              When she could finally get her eyes to lift higher than where her dirty thoughts would let her, she found that Žarko had been watching her look at him. “You want I should take off my pants so you can inspect closely?” He began tugging his pants lower, showing the line that led her eye further lower.

              She grunted, doing her best to pretend that she didn’t care what she did. “Take your beer and let me put up the clothes.” She thrust the package at him and ran to do just that, hoping that she could relax and get her heart to stop beating so fast. She couldn’t understand how he made her panties so wet so fast. It shouldn’t have been possible because of his personality. Gary hadn’t been forceful or intimidating. But maybe that was the thing. She’d never encounter a man that reeked so heavily of sex. Even his bad traits attracted her attention.

              She had no doubts that without the kids, he could easy convince her into his bed. She could barely keep her body from trembling any time he drew near. She didn’t even love him, could barely stand him most days since knowing him. Her friends from the divorce group practically hated him and basically put up with him because he wasn’t going to let her be in the meetings by herself.

              He didn’t give her the feeling that he was obsessive, but he certainly gave her the vibe of being highly possessive. It didn’t frighten her, because he did give her space, but at the same time, she had to admit to feeling the slightest bit of fear. He didn’t really seem like the kind of man that a woman could just leave.

              When she finished putting up the clothing, she paused in the room she had been sharing with him. She felt all fluttery and discombobulated. No matter how many deep breaths she took, she just couldn’t get herself together. “It’s just a movie and some dinner.” She didn’t have to stay in the apartment with him. She could just eat, watch, and go home. It wasn’t like he was going to be able to hold her hostage.

              “Are you coming or are you going to panic in room all day?” she heard him ask from behind her. He didn’t give her much time to answer, before he was guiding her out of the room. Maybe he knew that she was tempted to say that she wanted to stay in the room and panic, because she was sorely tempted to do just that. But she braved the temptation of sitting beside him on the couch.

              On the table, he had the bags of food already spread out. The smells were just delicious and even though she couldn’t recognize what everything was, she was eager to at least try it, as long as she could ignore her dinner mate. Žarko let her have first taste of everything, so that she could find what she liked the most. She had to admit that she really liked the kebab thing. It was definitely better than she’d made. “This doesn’t taste like the same recipe that I have in my book.”

              He shrugged. “Probably not, but it is also first time you cooked it. Practice will make you better.” She supposed that was as much of a compliment she would get. He got the television and DVD player set up. She had no idea what movie he planned to play, but with good food, she decided not to worry about it. “Now, we are going to practice your Serbian listening.”

              “Or subtitle reading as the case may be. I highly doubt I’m going to have time to listen to a language I haven’t been learning. And if you turn off the subtitles, then I’m just going to be looking at the pictures and figure out the movie that way. Hopefully, it’s not anything violent.”

              It wasn’t, but Žarko’s smile still wasn’t encouraging. They ate side by side, the action feeling comfortable between them. She enjoyed the idea of watching a romantic comedy about a grocery store clerk and the man who was robbing the store. It kept things from being too female focused. Žarko enjoyed drinking his bottle of
pivo
while he commented on the movie.

              As soon as she finished eating, she leaned against the arm of the couch, setting her bare feet close to his thighs. He lifted them, scooting himself beneath her, so that his hands could settle on her bare thigh. She let him, liking the feeling of him touching her. “Why do you always touch me there?”

              He slid his hand down so that it could cup the bottom of the butt. “Because you like it and you want me to touch you.” He slid his hand in the opposite direction, wrapping around her inside thigh and, yeah, she knew that he was going to have to marry her.

              “You don’t necessarily give me a choice. You just kind of do it.” She didn’t resist him when he tugged her even closer to him until she practically leaned completely against him.

              “You could resist me, but you don’t. That is your permission.”

              “Is that what you think?” she said quietly. She had no idea what was going on with the movie. She needed him to kiss her, needing him to remind her of the chemistry that they had together.

              “I see,” he said, watching her, before leaning in to honor the request that he must have known she’d been asking of him. He kissed exactly as she expected, with a sneer and a tease. He was pure arrogance in the way he coaxed her lips to part, just so he could commence with the nibbling on her tongue. It sent pleasurable zings down her spine. She couldn’t help but to lean in deeper to him, coming to straddle his lap. Surprisingly, his hands remained respectable, wrapping around her waist in a tight hug. She wanted more of him, to feel him touching every spot on her, to experience actual pleasure, something she’d never experienced. She needed to have him inside her, now.

              “Relax,” he said of her grinding hips. “We are supposed to be respectable couple.”

              “I don’t need respectable. We can be respectable after.”

              “If only I could trust your words,” he whispered against her lips. “I would take you right now, so hard that you would feel me there for days after.” He moved her off him, his breathing as hard as her own. His problem was clearly outlined through his jeans, forcing him to unbuckle himself for comfort. “I would go get license today just to have you beneath me, but I know that you are needing time to talk of plans and grow comfortable with me.”

              “What if I want us to go get the license today?” She was so prepped for him that she could barely think straight. She ran her hands through her curls, knowing that she needed to calm herself down. “We can get the license today and talk about our terms after.” Before she lost her mind in desire for him.

              He ran hand through his own hair before taking a look at his watch. “You are serious?”

              She nodded. “We already know that we are going to do this.” And she really wanted to have that piece of paper to keep her focused, because her flesh was feeling much too weak.

              He finally nodded. “Okay. We will get dressed and go get license.”

              She practically melted with relief that he would have to put clothing on so that they could leave the house. She herself, ran to throw on a jacket and some pants. She rode with him in his vehicle to the Dailey Center downtown, so that they could apply for and then wait to receive their marriage license. The clerk told them that they had to wait at least twenty four hours, but honestly, Josie felt as if she would die if she had to wait that long.

              “If we have to wait, then I’m going to have to stay at my own apartment this weekend.” She couldn’t bear being close to him all night without paperwork that was signed.

              “If you cannot stop yourself from attacking me,” he told her. She refused to fall into that trap. She would attack him if given half a chance and they both knew it. “I think you should stay and talk with me because it will be lonely without children.”

              “I can’t let myself be that close to you.”

              “You are wanting that much sex?”

              She finally turned to look at him. “We both know we want sex. I feel like I’m losing my mind and you aren’t fooling me with that faux casual stance thing you’re doing. If I really pushed, we both know you would be all over me.”

              “And I will still be all over you during night. We just do not have to have sex.” He left her standing there as their name was called to retrieve their newly minted license. She had no idea why it took him so long to talk to the woman, but she was definitely feeling the need to start second guessing.

              Did she really want to do this? Marry a man that she didn’t know much about other than the fact that she deeply desired him. That wasn’t really enough of a foundation. But, she knew that she had already committed to becoming his wife.
God, am I really doing the right thing
? She really had no idea and that terrified her.

              She’d almost worked herself into running when Žarko approached her, a slight smile on his face. “It is possible to be married now. There is judge with an opening.”

              She knew her face must have shown her surprise. “I thought we had to wait?”

              He wrapped an arm around her waist as he guided her forward. “You would rather question blessing? This way we can have sex and you will not feel guilty.”

              That’s what worried her.

              She finished putting away the food and throwing out the trash. She’d then grabbed him another beer and tried hard to work out in her mind it was a bad idea to screw Žarko’s brains out, even though she knew it would feel so good. They were technically married now and he’d even bought her a ring for her finger. It shouldn’t have been a problem, but…she sighed, as she brought the drink to her kind of husband.

              “You’re overthinking,” he told her. “You are not ready to make love with me.”

              “Maybe I am ready.” Maybe she could be ready.

              He took his beer and forced her to sit next to him. “Let me say in way you will understand. No means no. We will talk about expectations of marriage and you will wait until you no longer feel like silly woman.”

              “I will you would stop calling me silly.”

              He shrugged. “You are being silly. We are married and now both children will have father on their birth certificate. My lawyer already has the paperwork ready.”

              She curled herself into his body. “I guess you’re just completely prepared. You seriously put together paperwork to try and adopt my children?”

              Again, he shrugged. “It should not be surprise. I told you what I would do for you and children.”

              Yeah, he did. She leaned her head against his shoulder, allowing herself a chance to just relax. Sure, she felt like her body was ready to burn, but she happened to agree with him about waiting. She wanted for them to have everything together, so that she could have the family that she’d always wanted. “Let’s talk terms of agreement,” she said.

              He shook his head. “
Ne
. I think it is time to finish movie and celebrate being married. We will talk about things later.” Part of her appreciated the reprieve.

~*~

              Her panties slid down her thighs, thick callous laced fingers guiding them free from her body. Josie shifted, allowing her t-shirt to rise above her hips. Those same fingers continued to undress her, bringing the shirt up and over her head, before a hot mouth covered one heaving breast. Her back arched, fingers burying themselves into thick straight hair. That mouth covered her free nipple, sucking so hard it felt like fire ran through her clit.