HAPPILY EVER BEFORE (24 page)

The ride to St. Stephen’s was relatively smooth--if you consider holding on for dear life, panicking over the amount of time between labor pains, and the fact that the driver reeked of cigar smoke, smooth. “Just be calm, just be quiet,
just
be.” Grace repeated and repeated and repeated to herself.

“Good, lady, good. Keep saying that. It helps,” the driver said.

“Just be calm. Just be quiet. Just be.” The cab abruptly stopped.

He pounded on the horn and leaned out the window. “Get the FUCK out of the way; I’ve got a woman in labor here!”

“Just be calm, just be quiet, just be,” Grace groaned in pain.

“We’ll get you to the hospital before the kid shows up.”

“Just be calm, just be quiet,
just
be.” The driver picked up on the cadence of Grace’s mantra and as the cab bobbed in and out of traffic they were soon both chanting, “just be calm, just be quiet, just be,” until the cab pulled up to St. Stephens’ emergency entrance. Then full-blown panic set in and Grace threw her mantra out the window.

“Grace!” George yelled as she came running up with Sal who paid the driver.

A nervous Grace babbled, “
how
did you know I was here?”

“Clair called,” Sal said, as they walked her inside.

“You were with Ray?” George asked. “Jack called me in a panic. I didn’t know what to say.”

“No, no,
nooo
. I bumped into him at Don
Pablos
.”

An excited Clair and Henry
came
racing up with a nurse who immediately put Grace into a wheel chair. “We’re having a baby!” The nurse started wheeling her away.

Grace yelled, “George. I was at Don
Pablos
. I bumped into Ray and his girlfriend and went into labor. You have to tell Jack that. It was a coincidence. I didn’t sneak out in the throes of labor to meet with my ex! You have to tell him that!”

Clair turned to George. “His firehouse is four blocks away, a block away from the diner where they had their first date.”

George turned to Sal. “Operation Jack here we come.” Sal laughed as they headed out the door, stopping only to kiss Diane, and direct her toward the expectant parents-to-be.

Labor wasn’t exactly the way Grace had imagined it. There was a lot of waiting in between the pain and there was a lot of pain. Diane shoved some ice chips into Grace’s mouth. “What is with the ice chips?” Grace mumbled.
“Unless you’re about to pour vodka down my throat, no more ice chips!
How long does this take?
Aaaaaaah
!”

Diane tried to comfort her. “Well, it depends on how far you’re dilated.”

“And we’re about to find that out,” Frigidaire said, as she breezed into the room with Henry and Clair on her heels. A nurse came in, Frigidaire put on her gloves, and Henry looked away.

“Three centimeters,” Frigidaire said, as she took off her gloves. “We’ve got a while.”

“Can you measure that again? I’m feeling at least five,” Grace whimpered.

“Grace,” Frigidaire calmly said, “you’re fine. The baby’s fine. Labor is not a race. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“An hour?
An hour?
Where is Jack? Could somebody please get me Jack?”

As Frigidaire left the nurse innocently asked, “
is
Jack the Father?”

“NO!” Clair, Henry, and Grace exclaimed at the same time. “I’m not even the fucking mother.” Grace groaned.

The nurse had no idea how to react to that. “Okay, well, only two people can be in here at the same time. Somebody’s
gotta
go.”

“I will,” sighed Grace. Diane laughed, then kissed her daughters and headed out.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Grace said. “No really. I’ll give you back all the money and the apartment-- just don’t make me do this!”

Clair took her hand. “You’ll get the epidural soon.”

“But, not yet you’re only three centimeters,” added Henry.

“I’d like to see you three centimeters dilated!” Grace groaned as another wave of pain hit. “What? Didn’t your research tell you what to do when your baby’s aunt turned into a fucking bitch while trying to pop out your kid?” Henry pulled an
iPod
out of his jacket, put the headphones on Grace and turned it on. “
Ohhhh
--what the fuck you think Journey’s
gonna
make me not hurt? Maybe if you got fucking Steven Perry to fucking tour again starting here in this room it might fucking help!” Grace groaned, as Clair gave Henry a kiss before he went scrounging on the floor looking for the
iPod
Grace had just thrown.

While George and Sal stood in front of Jack’s firehouse, George grabbed his arm. “I may need you more tonight than ever.” Sal looked at her confused. “If you thought vodka was my weakness--wrong. Firemen, firemen, firemen! No woman can resist, no woman. They willingly pledge to run into burning buildings, plus they cook and clean.
Seriously, perfect men!”

 “I’ll try to hold you back, tiger!” Sal opened the door and looked around.

George sniffed the air. “It smells like hamburger helper--don’t you think?” Seeing no one she started to poke around. “It’s so clean in here. Where do you think they keep the Dalmatian?” They finally came upon a couple of firemen lifting weights. She turned to Sal as the first fireman noticed them. “He’s not too hot,” she gratefully sighed. “I’m going to be okay.  I’m wearing clothes more flammable than he is!” The rest of the firemen turned to get a look at her. George whispered to Sal, “if you really loved me, you’d set yourself on fire.”

Sal mocked her. “Alcohol and men make you stupid.” He addressed one of the firemen. “We’re looking for Jack, any idea where he is?”

A tall, heavy-set fireman puts down his weights. “He’s upstairs.”

George smiled. “Well, make him slide down the pole we need to talk to him.”

He smiled. “Ma’am, we don’t slide down the pole unless it’s an emergency.”

“Any pole or specifically that pole?”
Sal pinched George on the arm. “
Ow
, trust me it’s an emergency.”

The Fireman stared at her. “Are you drunk?”

“Nope, sober. Here’s my chip.” George pulled out her chip and then called upstairs, “Jack! Gracie won’t have the baby without you.” The firemen stopped what they were doing. George headed for the stairs, Sal and the firemen followed. “Come on, don’t be an ass.” George climbed the metal staircase. “She loves you enough to hold back the birth of child that isn’t even hers because she wants you there.” Finally, there was movement behind door number three. “Grace just happened to go into labor when she bumped into Ray is that so hard to believe? Yes, but is it more unbelievable than the fact that she’s giving birth to her own niece or nephew?” The door opened. “You’re not Jack.”

“Yes, I am. I’m just not your Jack.” He watched George as she walked down the stairs. “But I could be your Jack!”

Another of the fireman shrugged. “You didn’t say which Jack you wanted.”

Sal laughed.
“
Faccinelli
.”

George stormed down the steps. “Why didn’t you stop me?”

“Can anyone really stop you?”

George turned to find bait and switch Rich standing at the door. She smiled big. “It depends on what they’re trying to stop.” Sal took her arm and led her out. “Bait and switch Rich, right? What are you doing here?”

Rich grinned. “Jack heard you were on some sort of a mission and wanted me to stop you before you did something…”

“Stupid,” George laughed. “Thanks boys. Sally boy, let’s get some Starbucks on the way, hospital coffee sucks!”

Rich watched them leave, thought about it, and followed them out. “I can help carry the coffee.”

“How is she doing?” Jack asked Diane as soon as he saw her. Henry, Sr. and Patricia immediately walked over.

“Great. She’s great.” Diane said.
“Nervous, but good.”

“Where have you been?” Henry, Sr. asked with the tiniest bit of attitude.

“At work, I came as soon as I heard.” Jack was confused.

Patricia stared him down. “If that was the case, you would’ve been here before any of us.”

Diane, grateful that they felt close enough to her daughter to defend her honor, sighed.
“Do you want to see her?”

“Thanks.” Jack followed Diane down the hall. “I came as fast as I could. I had to find someone to cover my shift, and then I had too…”

“Shut it, don’t bore the messenger. You’re here. You obviously love her--that’s good enough for me, but break her heart I break your ass.
Capiche
?”

Diane poked her head into Grace’s room and waved Henry out. Grace screamed in pain and Jack, suddenly frightened, hesitated. Henry nudged him into the room as he walked out. Jack smiled at Clair. “How’s everyone doing?” Grace moaned as Clair kissed her on the forehead and left. Jack nervously rolled on the balls of his feet. “Your mother just said
capiche
.” Grace looked so small to him and pale. When did she get so pale? Seeing her so vulnerable scared him.

“She went all Momma Celeste on you, eh?” Grace struggled to smile.

“You sure you’re okay?” Jack looked around for something useful. She was tired, covered in sweat, and, yet, she still took his breath away.

“No, but the doctors swear I’m fine. Five centimeters dilated--close, but no epidural!”

Jack awkwardly bobbed and weaved until he went in for a tender little kiss that became a more passionate lip lock. Jack grinned and then took her phone out of his pocket. “I met Ray.”

 “I knew you were feeling a bit too cocky the moment you walked in that door.”

Jack pulled up a chair. “He seemed nice, but he’s no Jack
Faccinelli
.”

“No,” Grace softly said, “he’s not.”

“She’s nice, Nicole, real sweet.” Jack took Grace’s hand. “So this is really painful, eh?”

“It was, but now it’s not so bad.” Grace loved him so much she wished this pain was for
their own
kid.

“I have to admit, I’m a little jealous.”

“I’m sure they’ll let you have an epidural if you ask real nice.”

He laughed. “No. Although, maybe… I just mean, I wish this was my kid.”

Another wave of pain hit Grace, so hard it took her breath away. She managed to choke out.
“Me, too.”
Grace suddenly screamed so loud that Jack jumped.

“I’ll get a doctor.”

And, so the Higgins Sisters went from now what to now-now-now! In order to spare you the gory details and to preserve some of their privacy, we’re not going to rehash everything that happened in the delivery room. In a nutshell, there was the epidural, and then there was pushing, crying, pain, being told to stop pushing, crying, pain, more pushing, epidural kicking in, so less pain, more crying, crowning, which is so not what we thought it was, more pushing, more pushing, more pushing, baby born, baby has ten fingers and ten toes, more crying, more crying, more crying, icky after birth, jubilant Clair and Henry, jubilant and exhausted Grace, new baby girl, and finally, a passed out Grace. So, basically the birthing experience can be summed up as passing a shit ball to the tenth power. The nurses cleaned up the baby as best they could. Clair and Henry hovered over their little one as Grace was wheeled first into recovery and then into her room.

“She doesn’t look like I expected my baby to look,” Clair whispered.

“What did you expect?” asked Henry.

“I don’t know. Isn’t she sweet? She looks like her daddy.” Clair nuzzled her.

“Hello, Charlie girl--it’s me, daddy. I’m so happy to meet you.” Henry started to cry, which made Clair start to cry, which made Charlie girl start to cry.

George, Sal, Diane, Henry, Sr., Patricia, and Rich paced, slept, and tried to remain calm as they waited for news. Throughout the night, George did her best to avoid Rich. The guy just refused to leave and that was too dangerous for her blood. When Henry, Sr. dragged Rich with him to get food, Sal sat down next to George. “What gives? I thought you liked this guy.”

“I’ve never dated sober. What do you people do?” George queried.

“Being in recovery doesn’t mean you’re dead, but because you’re in recovery you’re in the power seat. You have to take things slow, get to know him, become friends, and no
nooky
until you’re ready. By the way, we play Scrabble.”

“I knew it,” George said, as Sal got up to give his seat to Rich, who came offering donuts.

George shyly took one. “You’ve seriously got nothing better to do?”

Rich smiled. “I like the view.”

George tried to dissuade him. “I don’t drink anymore.”

“Any liquids or just the alcoholic kind?”

“Some other guy is
gonna
show up in about ten minutes and claim he’s the one I’m supposed to be talking too, right?” She took a bite of her jelly doughnut.

“I get a bad rap,” he said, as he wiped some powdered sugar off her cheek.

“So do
I
, sometimes.” George smiled.

“See, we have that in common.” He grinned.

“Maybe we do, maybe we don’t.” She coyly smiled.

When Henry, Sr., Patricia, and Diane met their granddaughter for the first time they all wept. “So,” Henry said, “this is Charles, but we call her Charlie.”

Patricia began to tremble and grabbed Henry, Sr.’s hand. She hadn’t heard that name in such a long time. “Charles? Charlie? Why would you…?”

Clair smiled warmly, “I told you we were going to pick a boy’s name for a girl and we like Charles. It’s a great name.”

Henry, Sr. caught Clair’s eye and smiled gratefully. Diane kissed her granddaughter’s head. “May I hold her?” As Diane took her in her arms, her husband’s face flooded her memory. “She looks like your father,” she cried. “She’s got his nose!”

“I know.” Clair said as she stood behind Diane and hugged her.

When Grace finally woke up, it was darker than dark out. Jack was sleeping in the chair next to her bed and Diane was asleep in the chair next to his. She tried to move a little bit, but when she did she was in pain. It wasn’t earth-shattering pain; she had, after all, just experienced earth-shattering pain. Grace looked over at the nightstand and was surprised to see a picture of Clair, Henry, and the baby. She studied it closely. She sure was sweet and she had her Popsicle’s nose. Grace bit her lip hoping she could stop herself, but she was helpless against the wave of emotion that served up everything she had experienced in the last year. Jack heard her crying, climbed into her bed, and held her in his arms. Grace cried for a long time. She cried for herself, for her dad, for Henry and Clair, for her mom, for Jack, for Charlie, and for every child in the world she couldn’t protect because that’s how she felt right now, that she had to protect every child in the world. Somewhere, beyond the point of exhaustion, Grace stopped crying and fell asleep. When she awoke the second time, Jack had left.  Her room was filled with flowers and with the grateful eyes of Henry, Sr. and Patricia as they smiled down at her.

Grace laughed. “So in the history of awkward moments this is one for the record books, eh? How’s my niece?”

On cue Clair and Henry entered. “Meet your Auntie Grace, Auntie Grace
meet
our Charlie.”

“
Ooohhh
, hello, Charlie girl.”
Grace took her in her arms and stared down at her in wonder.  “Aren’t you precious? You’re so precious.” Grace started to well up.

An emotional Patricia tucked an envelope under Grace’s pillow and then pecked her on the cheek. “Thank you doesn’t seem to cut it.” Before Grace could answer, Henry, Sr. did the same exact thing envelope and all. “It really doesn’t.” A teary Patricia quickly darted out of the room and Henry, Sr. followed his wife.

Grace looked at Henry. “Your family has to stop giving me things.” He took a picture of Grace and Clair with Charlie, a picture of Grace and Charlie, and then he gracefully left the room. “So? I baked her at three hundred and fifty degrees like you said.”

“She’s perfect.” Clair sat on the edge of the bed. “Charlie, this is your Auntie. She’s the reason you’re here. Thanks, for this,” Clair said, as tears poured down her face.

 Grace burst into tears. “You’re welcome!”

“So, you know, after all the pushing and the crying and the dramatics in the delivery room, you’re going to have to be the Godmother.”

Grace hugged Charlie closer to her chest. “See, I
am
your Auntie Mommy.”

Clair playfully slapped her as Diane came in. “No hitting the birthmother. It’s against rules. Now give the baby to Grandma, it’s my turn to hold her!”

She reluctantly gave her the baby.
“Hey, Mom.”
Grace started laughing. “This turned out so much better than her ninth grade science project.”

“A booger from a dead dog turned out better than her ninth grade science project!” They looked up to see George smiling at them. “Can Auntie George sneak a peek?” George crossed over to the left side of the bed, squeezed in next to Diane, and stared down at this little miracle. “You’ve done
good
, both of you. Hello Charlie, I’m your Auntie George. Your Auntie Grace and I are going to teach you all the things your mommy doesn’t want you to know--like how to wear make-up!”

“And, how to cut curfew,” added Grace. She looked up, saw Jack standing at the door and waved. Clair followed her gaze, saw Henry standing next to Jack, smiled at him and waved.

And that was it. The pregnancy was over--the precious Charlie girl had safely made it into the world unscathed. That’s it you ask? When we were first told this wondrous tale, we asked the same thing. More of the joys, sorrows, and hilarious complications that followed in the wake of the first year after the pregnancy have been told to us, but for you? Well, you’ll have to wait. Why? Because like life, the story isn’t really over and quite frankly, this book would be longer than
Gone
With The
Wind
, but because you have been such good sports we’ll leave you with this…