HAPPILY EVER BEFORE (9 page)

Now, it should be noted that Grace and Clair didn’t tell people who weren’t family members about the pregnancy until she was three months pregnant; suffice it to say, she waited to tell Jack. She wanted to do it in person, but because Jack had traded shifts with his fellow firehouse buddies, so he could attend his cousins wedding, he ended up working every night and weekend during the past four weeks. Therefore, Jack and Grace spent a lot of time on the phone, more so than they had even during those first six months of phone dating. The conversations were longer because they weren’t being interrupted by life threatening work emergencies and covered a myriad of topics. Jack told Grace about his brief, but disastrous first marriage to a woman who is now living in Westchester County, New York and sells Mary Kay, that he’s allergic to peanuts, loves Hong Kong action movies, broke his arm when he was ten, his nose when he was sixteen, and his leg four years ago. Jack also disclosed that he wants kids and wants to be in a lifelong committed relationship, but he doesn’t necessarily think marriage is the only way to accomplish that and last, but not least, he believes in God, but not in the institution of religion, per se. Grace was grateful that he wasn’t an atheist. She had found over the years that it was best to avoid people who didn’t believe in a universal higher power whether it was Buddha, or God, or even Hare Krishna because those people had no checks and balances to keep them from becoming morally bankrupt and she knew about morally bankrupt.  After all, she had dated Ray.

And, so, all of their trading of personal information leads us to exactly where Grace and Jack are right now--thoroughly besotted with each other as they stand in the middle of an art gallery gazing at a painting of the letter E. Grace, realizing there was no good time to tell the man you’re dating that you’re knocked up with your sister’s kid, took Jack’s hand and finally blurted those special words, “I’m pregnant.”

Jack, like everyone else said, “You don’t say?” But, he said it in such a way that you would think he was being told some elaborate magic trick about where babies came from. In addition, Jack immediately got Grace a chair and made her sit down. Once she did, he bombarded her with questions, such as “how do you feel? Do you need anything?” And, for the first time Grace felt a twinge of sadness that the child she was carrying didn’t belong to her or maybe even to her and Jack. Of course, the moment Grace had that thought she internally freaked out, but thankfully the Howard Miller Grandfather clock that just struck five saved her. “Oops, George, I have to go,” said Grace.

Jack smiled, and then in the middle of the
Heaven
Art
Gallery
in
Wicker
Park
, he pulled her into a hot kiss in front of the letter M, “congratulations!”

A half-hour later, Grace was sitting with George at an AA meeting in the Wicker Park
Alano
Club, which was for women only. George knew that if she were going to be serious about staying sober not having any men in her meetings would make life a bit easier. Besides, she had her brand new rabbit vibrator to help her avoid the temptation of switching from alcohol to men--not that she actually needed to switch because for the past five years she only hooked up when she was drunk. When she drank she got horny.
Drunk, horny, and pathetic.
Her dad would be so proud. George felt the sweat beading on the back on her neck. Man, she thought, this place is hot. She took a deep breath and when the group leader asked if anyone had been sober for thirty days or more George squeezed Grace’s hand and then went to the front of the room.

George took a deep breath and nervously started lacing and unlacing her fingers. “My name is George and I’ve been sober for forty days.” After the usual applause and hellos George swayed back and forth. Normally, when she stood in front of such a large group she was doing a presentation and the focus was on the campaign. This time, it was about her and she was never really comfortable when the spotlight was on her. George cleared her throat and looked at Grace who smiled encouragingly. “It’s been pretty hard to restrain from drinking. I have a very social job and I’m usually meeting clients for drinks three to four times a week, but this week when I was sitting at the hotel bar with one of my biggest clients, for the first time, I didn’t panic. I didn’t think, oh, ‘if I order a juice he’s going to know I’m in recovery or he’s going to think I’m a prude or even, well, if she’s no longer drinking then clearly she’s no longer talented.’ I just ordered a club soda and nothing happened. We had a great meeting, plus he bought the new pitch. It was an amazing feeling that lasted until today when I had my usual Sunday night ‘oh, shit work starts tomorrow’ panic attack and really wanted a drink, but I came here instead.” The room clapped as George got her forty-day chip and walked back to her seat. Grace got up, hugged her friend, and suddenly fainted in her arms.

Nobody panic! We can’t promise you a harm free tale. For the most part pregnancy isn’t all sweetness and light because women who are pregnant are sitting ducks for diabetes, hemorrhoids, swollen feet, and the hormones that rage within their bodies that cause various mood swings. Plus, there’s anemia,
ectopic
pregnancy, placenta
previa
,
hyperemesis
gravid arum,
eclampsia
, and good old
abruptio
placenta.
All-in-all, pretty life-threatening stuff.
However, fainting while pregnant is a fairly common occurrence. Grace, now sitting in the emergency room behind a white curtain with George, was being told just this as the Doctor left with the blood he had drawn. Suddenly, she heard unmistaken able shriek of Patricia, the Queen of Mayonnaise. “Where is she? Of course we’re family, that woman is carrying my grandchild.”

Grace looked at George, “who did you call?”

George went into over-drive. “You’re pregnant, it’s not your kid, you fainted in my arms, and so, I covered all the bases. I called your sister, the mother of the child you’re carrying. She wasn’t home and I couldn’t reach her on her cell and, so I called your Mom, the in-laws from hell, and uh, Jack.”

“Why in the hell would you call Jack? How did you call Jack?”

“I used your cell phone while they were examining you. No worries, he didn’t answer, so I hung up.”

“Now, he thinks I hung up on him? Great.”

As George realized that she might have called too many people, Clair poked her head in, “hey, you okay?” her trying not to panic sister asked.

“I’m fine. According to the doctor, fainting is a pretty common thing for pregnant women.”

 “They took blood to make sure she’s not anemic, but if she is she may need an additional iron supplement,” George smiled weakly, “
uh,
do you want me to go?”

Clair pulled the curtain shut. “Oh, God no; if you go out there now, Patricia may pounce and I couldn’t do that to you.”

George sighed. “Oh good, she scares me.”

“Join the club,” Diane said as she pushed herself into the small space, “hey baby.” She kissed her daughters then gave George a big hug.
“Congrats on your forty days of sobriety.”
George beamed while Diane studied her daughter’s faces. “What’s the deal? What’s going on?”

Grace sighed. “The doctor thinks I may be anemic, but that’s it. The baby is fine. They made sure of that as soon as I came in.”

Patricia pushed her way in. “What the hell is she doing here? I’m at least related to you!” She looked around. “There aren’t any sick people here are there?”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Hello Patricia, how are you? George brought me in.”

“Oh, thanks George. Nice to see you’re not drunk and waking up in some foreign country,” a twitchy Patricia said.

George squeezed Grace’s hand. “Well, it’s nice to see you’re not drunk and waking up in jail.” With that, George pushed her way past Patricia and out the other side of the curtain to freedom.

“I don’t think I can stay here much longer, all the germs and such,” Patricia looked at Clair, then Diane, and then Grace, “did you tell her?”

“Now is not the time,” Clair stated rather firmly.

Patricia ignored her daughter-in-law. “We’re buying Grace an apartment in a better neighborhood. There’s no way a grandchild of mine is living in squalor.”

Clair turned to Grace and mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

“Squalor?
Last time I checked, the baby was living inside of me.”

“Yes dear, we all know how pregnancy works. The baby is living inside of you and you are living in squalor; hence, we’re buying you something in a better neighborhood,” Patricia looked around again, “some place sterile.”

“More sterile than a hospital?” an incredulous Diane asked.

“More people get sick and die while in the hospital than succumb to household accidents,” snapped a clearly hospital hating Patricia.

Grace gave Patricia the stink eye. “Let’s get one thing straight. You have absolutely no say in any situation involving me and this child.”

Patricia, feeling the germs closing in, tugged her coat closer around her body. “Now dear, I understand you’re upset, but for God’s sake we’re one of
Chicago
’s finest families and there is no way you can continue living as you do. It’s bad enough we’re in this embarrassing situation to begin with.”

 “Patricia, you’re aggravating my daughters.” Diana gently led Patricia out of the curtained off cubicle. “Oh, and another thing, I will not have you using that annoying condescending faux term of endearment with my daughters, myself, or any other member of my family.”

Clair rolled her eyes, “I’m so sorry.”

The Doctor finally came in. “You’re good to go Ms. Higgins. I spoke to your OBGYN and we went over the blood tests. You seem to be developing anemia. I’m giving you a prescription for an additional iron supplement and she wants you to call the office tomorrow and make an appointment for this week.”

“Really, that’s it?
Nothing wrong with her, nothing wrong with the baby?”

The Doctor patted Clair on the arm. “She’s
fine,
the baby’s fine, all good. I promise. You and your partner have nothing to worry about.” He handed the prescription off to Grace then left.

Clair started laughing. “Please, you’re so not my type.”

Grace tried to keep a straight face. “Oh, please, I’m everyone’s type.”         

After the commotion at the hospital, Grace was relieved to be home and more important, to be alone. This was one of those moments, she thought as she stretched out on couch, one of those private moments that Clair got so worked up about. It was strange to think that here she was alone and yet she really wasn’t alone at all. Grace patted her stomach. “Listen kid, I’m your Auntie. I know odd, eh? I will do my best to protect you from that motley crew you’re
gonna
call family, but no matter what they say or do, they love you.” Grace closed her eyes. The moment she did, she relived her kiss with Jack. She smiled and then panicked. She hated not being in control. Thinking about one person all the time and maybe falling for them when you knew that at some point, along with not having control of your emotions, that you weren’t going to have control of your bladder was disconcerting at best. She patted her stomach again. “I know we’re sharing just about everything right now, food, organs, but uh, I hope we’re not sharing brain cells because I’d hate to pass on the neurotic inner workings of this mess of a mind to you. Now that’s the gift that keeps on giving.”

Grace was drifting off to sleep when there was a knock on the door. She thought, “
if
this was anyone she was even remotely related too, she was going to pitch an all out fit.” She pulled herself off the couch and opened the door. It took Grace a full minute before she realized that it was Ray standing in front of her. She felt a shiver go down her spine and stepped out into the hall. “How did you get into the building? What are you doing here?”

Ray smiled. He always had a great smile. He looked good.  “My key,” he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, “can we can talk?”

Grace pulled her door shut. “No.”

“Come on, Gracie, just a talk for old time sake. What harm can come of it?”

 “Hmm, oh, I don’t know, you’ll clean out my bank account, steal my appliances, and put me into debt for the rest of my natural born life?”

“Hey, I said I was sorry.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Ray, if you’ve got something to say,
say
it; if not then get the hell out of here.”

He stared at her. For one brief second he seemed vulnerable. “Gracie, Gracie, Gracie--after all these years?”

Suddenly, the buzzer rang in Grace’s apartment and she hit the button knowing that even if a Jehovah Witness showed up in the next five minutes it was better than standing here with Ray. “I’ve had a really bad day. I’m tired and I don’t want to do this right now. Actually, I don’t ever want to do this or anything else with you, so just cut bait and leave!”

Ray pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Grace. “That’s everything plus interest. I’m getting my life together. I’m in sales now--legitimately--and I’m doing well. My therapist says the only way I can move on with my life is if I made amends with everyone I wronged.”

Grace hesitated and then took the envelope. “Well, uh,
good
for you.”

“I’m sorry Gracie. I’m sorry that you think so little of me that we have to have this conversation in the hall. You were the best thing I had in my life and I’m going to do everything in my power to win you back.”

“Oh God, no!
No winning me back, not now, not ever. It’s over, has been for a long time--OVER!” Grace opened her door and backed into her apartment.

“I deserve a second chance, we deserve a second chance,” Ray pleaded.

Grace trembled. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was afraid of Ray or
afraid
Ray still had a hold over her.  “No second chances Ray, no way, no how.” They simply looked at each other. Grace took in his slightly crooked nose, the three freckles below his lip on the right side of his mouth, and the tiny scar he had above his left eyebrow. She sighed. There was just so much to love and hate about this guy.

Ray leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. “You love me Gracie, you always will.”

It was a very nice kiss as far as kisses went. It scared Grace that she thought this, that she thought anything at all tender and sweet about him. She cleared her throat, “give me the key. Give me the key, Ray.”

“Give her the key Ray.” Startled, they both turned to find Patricia standing there. “And get the hell out of here before I knock your sorry ass from here to Kingdom come!”

He pulled the key from his pocket and handed it to Grace. “This isn’t done.” Ray backed away from Patricia who was closing in on him like a Doberman. “We’re not done Gracie, we’ll never be done.” As he walked away, a shaken Grace backed into her apartment. Patricia followed. They said nothing. Grace put the envelope Ray had given her on her kitchen table and poured Patricia a glass of wine.

“A small sip won’t hurt,” Patricia said. Relieved, Grace poured herself a small sip and knocked it back. Patricia looked around the apartment. “It really isn’t as bad as I thought.” Grace nodded. She had somehow lost her power to speak. “But, really
dea
..,” Patricia, remembering what Diane had said, stopped herself. “A better neighborhood wouldn’t kill you. Do you really want your sycophant ex-boyfriend disrupting your life?”

Grace didn’t want to admit it, but Patricia had a point. Moving to a new place that didn’t have any memories of Ray associated with it would be nice. Owning something had always been her dream. Everyone she knew owned something. Even with the money she just got from Ray, it would take her years to afford a mortgage on her own. 

Patricia could tell by the way Grace was staring off into space that visions of king sized beds, entertainment centers, and anything else that was in the godforsaken Pottery Barn catalog were dancing in her head. Patricia plied on the pressure. “Think of it as a signing bonus. You signed on to have my grandchild; I buy you an apartment or a condo. The big executives do it all the time, and this way after the baby’s born you’ll have a little nest egg of your own.” Patricia smiled. There was a knock. Grace couldn’t, or perhaps wouldn’t, answer the door, so Patricia strode over in her Giorgio Armani suit and
Manolo
Blahniks
ready to do battle. With a flourish of pride and determination she opened it and declared, “
leave
!”

“Uh, who are you?” asked Jack.

Patricia took in the tall good-looking man in front of her.  “Who are you?”

“I believe I asked you first.”

Patricia smiled. “I’m Grace’s sister’s mother-in-law and the grandmother of the child she’s carrying. Who are you?”

“Oh, you’re the mayonnaise queen.”

Patricia choked back a laugh. “Yes, I am. And again, young man, who are you?”

“Jack, I’m Grace’s boyfriend.”

Patricia looked at Grace then back at Jack. “I see. Well, since you don’t have a key how did you get in the building?”

“Some twitchy little guy let me in.”

“Really?”
She said pointedly. “What has this neighborhood turned into?” Patricia gave Grace a peck on the cheek and made her way out the door. “Next Friday. What time should I pick you up?”

Grace, who was staring at the envelope in her hand, finally spoke, “how’s
noon
?”

Patricia smiled. “Great!
Nice to meet you Jack.”

Jack shook her hand.
“Nice to meet you Patricia.”
He shut the door behind her. “She doesn’t seem so bad.”

Grace sighed. “No, she isn’t.” 

“You okay? What’s that?”

Grace put the envelope down. “Nothing, uh, what are you doing here?”

“You called, but you didn’t leave a message.” Jack moved closer to Grace. “I was thinking that maybe you were thinking what I was thinking.”

Grace liked the way her body felt when Jack was close to her. She tried to figure out if she felt like this with Ray. She took a deep breath. He smelled like green apples. “Uh, what were you thinking?” He kissed her. Grace kissed him back, “I was thinking dinner.”

Jack laughed. “Well, I’m hungry, I could do dinner.”

Grace smiled. “So, I hear you’re my boyfriend.”

“You got a problem with that?” Jack asked, as he kissed her again. Grace shook her head no and grabbed her jacket. Once they were in the hall, Jack took Grace’s hand, “do me a favor, okay? Don’t break my heart.”      

 Grace was suddenly covered in goose bumps. “Okay.” She whispered.

As Jack and Grace lay side by side on her couch, she remembered why she had bought it in the first place. It perfectly fit two bodies. Grace flashed to being nine months pregnant and hoped that Jack would still be around and that they’d both fit on the couch. Jack had his right arm around Grace and patted her belly with his left. “Are you sure you had enough protein? Maybe you need a glass of milk or orange juice with calcium?”

Grace, who felt both safe and dangerous in his arms, rolled over and kissed him. “I’m good. We’re both good.” Grace kissed him again, this time more forcefully and Jack immediately forgot what he was thinking, which included things like what was the score of the game, did I get this week’s issue of Maxim, and do I have a cavity?

As the passion built, shirts were taken off; lips, hair, and limbs were tangled, skin touched skin and as Grace reached to help Jack undo his pants, “Oh, God, no!”

Grace froze. “Huh? How? Aren’t…am I missing something?”

Jack, embarrassed, sat up. “Uh, no--It’s just, we can’t, you know, do that.”

 
“Why the hell not?”

“You’re pregnant.” Jack pushed a lock of hair out of Grace’s eyes. “I don’t want to hurt the baby.”

“Trust me the baby is not the one being hurt right now. And where you’re going and the kid is, well, it’s hermetically sealed, so not
gonna
get hurt--I promise.”

“I know, but still it’s not even my kid and I don’t know, it’s rude.”

“Rude?”

“Yeah, rude to you know be poking at someone else’s kid.”

Grace grabbed her shirt and sat up. “Uh, are you serious?”

Jack, who really wanted Grace right now, sighed. “I think I am.”

 “That is the most ridiculous yet sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Are you going to be okay with us dating and me being pregnant with another man’s child?”

“I don’t think so.” Grace’s face fell. “No, no.” Jack tried to find a way to say what he really meant. “You’re pregnant with another man’s child, but it’s not like it’s another man’s child, you know? That’s not to say that this whole pregnancy thing isn’t going to be a problem, but not like a problem for our relationship, which we don’t even really know what that is yet, but the pregnancy stuff and the relationship stuff won’t always see eye-to-eye. So, as long as we’re honest with each other and don’t let things fester, we should be able to manage this.”

Grace felt her stomach drop just a bit.
“Honest, eh?
Are we talking I hate you in the color orange honest; or the I didn’t call you tonight, George did because I fainted and she had to take me to the emergency room honest; or are we talking soul bearing, life changing, that twitchy little guy you passed on your way up tonight was Ray, who came by to make amends, gave me back all the money he stole--at least I think he did I haven’t checked the envelope yet--declared his love, said he wants a second chance, and uh, he kissed me, honest?” Grace waited for Jack to process everything she had just blurted out.

Jack felt an ache the size of watermelon in his gut. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

Grace loved the look of concern that washed across his face. “I’m just a bit anemic, but it’s controllable and no one is, you know, in danger.”

Jack swung his long limbs over the side of the couch. “I was thinking more
the I
hate you in the color orange honest.” He tried to get his bearings, but this moment of unbridled honestly threw him off his game. “I’m assuming that because you’re here with me you’re not that into reconciliation or am I some sort of test market, so you can figure out if you like Coke better than Pepsi?”

“Oh, I definitely like Coke better than Pepsi,” purred Grace.

“Good,” sighed Jack. “Who’s Coke, I’m coke, right?”

“You’re totally Coke. All coke, all the time,” Grace said as she leaned in for a kiss.

Jack kissed her back. “You’re not
gonna
turn around and suddenly like Pepsi more are you? ‘Cause you know, Coke and Pepsi are really different.”

Grace had never made a guy jealous in her life and it felt good. Not because it made him feel bad, but because, well, he liked her that much. “Trust me, I like coke. So, again I ask, now what?” She leaned into his body and went in for the kill.

Jack struggled, but slowed her down. “We’re still not…”

She laughed. “Going to be rude and poke another man’s unborn child?”

 Jack pulled Grace to him. “We can do other stuff--that’s just as fun.”

“Oh really?” said Grace, as she burrowed against his body.

“Really,” said Jack, as he lightly bit her bottom lip.

Now, if this was a movie we’d fade to black as Jack shimmied down her body.  If it were a soap opera or even a Lifetime original movie, we’d see them go at it from tasteful and discreet angles, but this, well, this is neither one of those and it sure
ain’t
porn, so here it goes… They’re adults. They had fun. That’s all you’re getting. We’re leaving it up to your imagination. Now go take a cold shower or you know, rent one of
those movies
!