William Shakespeare's Star Wars (10 page)

CHORUS
Now through the doorway come our heroes brave.

Th’Imperi’l officers Chewbacca fights

Whilst Han with blaster doth his entry pave.

They have arriv’d: escape is in their sights.

CHEWBAC.
Auugh!

LUKE
—Fie! With all this howling nonsense and

With all thy blasting ’tis a miracle

That all within the station have not heard

Of our arrival.

HAN
—Surely, let them come!

A fight would I prefer to sneaking yon

And hither.

R2-D2
—Beep, beep whistle, squeak, beep, meep.

C-3PO
We have the outlet for the system found.

[
Aside:
] O that my words might end their bickering.

OBI-WAN
’Tis well! Plug R2 in and he shall read

The whole Imperi’l network.

R2-D2
—Beep, meep, squeak!

Hoo, whistle, whee, ahh, beep, meep, squeak, beep, meep.

C-3PO
Now hath he found the main control unto

The power beam that holds the ship herein.

He shall attempt to show thee, presently,

Where its exact location may be found.

The tractor beam in seven places is

Connected to the main reactor, but

A power loss at any terminal

Shall set the good
Millenn’um Falcon
free.

OBI-WAN
[
aside:
] That number seven shall our freedom mean.

But only one of seven shall we need.

I fear those numbers—seven and then one—

Do something dangerous portend. But why?

Our company is only six, unless

There were another join’d unto us here.

Then were we seven, yet what means the one?

O! Strangely sweeps the thought into my mind:

I have a feeling through the Force that ere

We leave this place, some seven shall we be.

Yet one shall stay behind as sacrifice.

Thus seven and thus one: the numbers tell

The story that herein shall soon be told.

[
To Luke and Han:
] Methinks ye two cannot assist me now.

This one—e’en I—shall go alone.

HAN
—Aye, good!

So shall I hearken unto what thou sayst,

For I already on this voyage have

Done more than that for which I have been paid.

LUKE
I would go with thee, Sir.

OBI-WAN
—Pray, patience, Luke,

For thou must stay and guard the vital droids.

They must be taken safely to our friends,

Or other systems end like Alderaan.

Thy destiny, dear boy, doth truly go

Upon a path far different from mine,

And Fate for thee hath spun another thread

Than what she hath for Obi-Wan’s life stitch’d.

The Force, it shall be with thee always, Luke.

[Exit Obi-Wan
.

LUKE
[
aside:
] He hath bestow’d a Jedi’s blessing here,

So why then am I utterly unnerv’d?

CHEWBAC.
Auugh!

HAN
—Wookiee, thou hast spoken well

and true:

Whence hast thou this old bag of bones uncover’d?

LUKE
Yon Ben in all good virtues doth excel.

HAN
Aye, certain he excelleth when the goal

Is but to lead us into trouble great.

LUKE
But thou hast not excell’d at offering

A thought to how we can this station ’scape.

HAN
Yet any simple plan excelleth o’er

Remaining here till all descend on us.

It taketh not a wisdom that excels

To know for certain fact that such is true.

R2-D2
[
aside:
] By heav’n I’ll stop their bickering with this

New information. [
To Han and Luke:
] Whistle, beep, meep, whee!

LUKE
I prithee, what doth all this beeping mean?

C-3PO
Sir, I confess I do not know. He hath

Declar’d that he hath found her, then the droid

Repeats “She’s here, she’s here.”

LUKE
—But, marry, who?

C-3PO
Good Princess Leia.

LUKE
—Princess Leia—here?

[
Aside:
] Now doth this strange adventure stir my blood!

HAN
What sayst of “princess”?

LUKE
—Where, thou droid? Say where!

HAN
What princess? On thy life, this thing unveil.

R2-D2
Beep, meep, meep, beep, squeak, whistle, beep, meep, hoo.

C-3PO
E’en now the princess is on Level 5,

Detention block of AA-23.

R2-D2
[
aside:
] O me! This new discovery of mine

Doth shake my core, and shall arouse their souls.

[
To Han and Luke:
] Meep, meep, ahh, beep, squeak, beep, meep, beep, ahh, nee.

C-3PO
I fear, good Sir, it doth give certain news

The princess shall be terminated soon.

LUKE
Nay, nay! So quickly met and now, with this,

So quickly lost! Now must we swiftly act!

HAN
What dost thou prattle on about? Pray tell!

LUKE
[
aside:
] O how can one describe in simple words

The import this myster’ous woman hath

Upon my life? [
To Han:
] The droids, these droids, are hers,

She hath appear’d in message urgent, too!

I see thou canst not understand it well,

Yet what I know is this: we must give her

Whate’er unflagging help and hope we may!

HAN
Speak not with such great folly. Obi-Wan

Hath told us to remain.

LUKE
—Yet knew he not

That she is here! [
To
C-3PO:
] Pray tell me how we may

Straight make our way to the detention block.

HAN
I say again what I have said before:

To this location is my purpose fix’d

And whether princess be within or no,

I tell thee plain: I shall not thither go.

LUKE
She shall be executed! Thou hast said,

Mere minutes past, that thou wouldst not remain

To see our sudden, sure imprisonment.

Now is thy fondest wish that we should stay?

HAN
To march to the detention block’s unwise!

To make our way to danger folly ’tis!

To there present ourselves is passing mad!

To boldly go where none hath gone is wild!

LUKE
Hast thou no heart? She sentenc’d is to die!

HAN
My sentence is: ’tis better she than I.

LUKE
[
aside:
] How shall I break a heart that loveth not,

And how convince a man who lives by wits?

He hath not seen the urgency within

Her eyes. He hath not known the trembling in

Her voice. He hath not heard the manner of

Her plea. And yet, without his help I fear

My errand surely fails. What shall I do?

I know that under his exterior

More good and noble aspirations lie.

But by what tricks of speech to bring them forth,

And what persuasions shall his fix’d will move?

My aunt Beru hath told me once a tale:

She said when first the deep, vast Kessel mines

Were dug, it was revealèd that the pearls

Of greatest value must by clever means

Discover’d be. So did the miners band

Together, so to make a useful tool.

This tool would pull the pearls out of the rock

In such a way they seem’d t’emerge by ruse.

This practice had a name: the Hammer Ploy.

Now shall I play a Hammer’s Ploy upon

The soul of this good smuggler, coaxing him

By means most indirect to rescue good.

Thus may the pearl of his still ragged soul

Revealèd be and shine as ne’er before.

[
To Han:
] I tell thee true: the lady wealthy is.

CHEWBAC.
Egh, auugh!

HAN
—Say, wealthy?

LUKE
—Wealthy, aye, with pow’r.

If thou wouldst rescue her, thy great reward

Would be—

HAN
—Pray, what?

LUKE
—Well more, I’ll warrant, than

Thou mayst imagine!

HAN
—Ha, thou josh with me.

For my imagination hath few bounds.

LUKE
Thou shalt have it!

HAN
—So would I!

LUKE
—Aye, thou wilt!

HAN
Enough, I am engag’d. But I do hope

Thou knowest well of what thou speakest here.

LUKE
Well, well!

HAN
—Hast thou a plan?

LUKE
—C-3PO,

I prithee pass those binding cuffs to me.

[
To Chewbacca:
] Good Wookiee, I shall put these on thee now.

CHEWBAC.
Auugh!

LUKE
—Han, perhaps thou shouldst that honor have.

[Han Solo cuffs Chewbacca
.

HAN
Fear not, dear Chewie, now his plan is plain.

C-3PO
My Master Luke, forgive my question frank:

What should we do if we discover’d are?

LUKE
Lock thou the door.

HAN
—And pray they’ve blasters none.

C-3PO
[
aside to R-D2:
] ’Tis not a reassuring word.

R2-D2
—Beep, squeak!

[Exeunt C-3PO and R2-D2 as Han, Luke, and Chewbacca go to detention block
.

CHORUS
So now Chewbacca, Han, and Luke proceed

Unto detention level 5, quite grave.

With bravery, good hope, and all Godspeed,

Their errand is a princess there to save.

The minions of the Death Star pay no mind,

Nor are they by these three at all dismay’d.

They do not fear the Wookiee, for behind

Are Han and Luke as stormtroopers array’d.

Meanwhile in stealth does Obi-Wan pass by

And to the terminal doth make his way,

But while he goes Darth Vader feels him fly—

So ev’ry character his role doth play.

HAN
Thy plan, it shall not work.

LUKE
—And wherefore hast

Thou not said this ere now?

HAN
—Aye, but I have!

[Luke, Han Solo, and Chewbacca enter detention block with Officer 4 and soldiers
.

OFFICER 4
By heav’n, I say: where takest thou this thing?

LUKE
This pris’ner hath been transferr’d here, from cell 1-1-3-8.

OFFICER 4
—No one hath told me so.

Thus ’tis my duty to confirm thy word.

[Soldiers approach
.

CHEWBAC.
Auugh!

HAN
—Be thou swift and merciless, good Luke!

[Han Solo, Luke, and Chewbacca kill Officer 4 and soldiers
.

CHORUS
With blasters rais’d and targets in their scopes,

The three do overtake th’Imperi’l threat.

This obstacle o’ercome, they have fresh hopes—

But still their way hath not been made clear yet.

HAN
Now shall we see wherein thy princess lies …

It saith herein she now is held in cell

2-1-8-7. Go! I’ll hold them here.

[
To comlink:
] O be not anxious, comrades, fear ye not!

The situation here hath been controll’d.

All merry ’tis in the detention block!

OFFICER 1
[
through comlink:
] But what hath happen’d?

HAN
—’Tis no matter, Sir—

A slight malfunction of the weapons here.

But all is well, and we are well, and all

Within are well. The pris’ners, too, are well,

’Tis well, ’tis well. And thou? Art also well?

OFFICER 1
[
through comlink:
] We shall dispatch a squad to verify.

HAN
Nay, there’s a leak in the reactor here.

Pray give us time to mend the matter well.

The leak is large and dangerous, but fear

Thou not, for all—I tell thee true—is well!

OFFICER 1
[
through comlink:
] But who art thou, and what’s thy number code?

[Han Solo blasts comlink
.

HAN
That conversation did my spirits bore!

Now Luke, prepare thyself for company!

[Luke enters Princess Leia’s chamber aside
.

LEIA
Thou truly art in jest. Art thou not small

Of stature, if thou art a stormtrooper?

Does Empire shrink for want of taller troops?

The Empire’s evil ways, I’ll grant, are grand,

But must its soldiers want for fear of height?

LUKE
[
aside:
] So hath my introduction fallen short.

She sees the uniform, but not the man.

[
Removing helmet, to Leia:
] Luke Skywalker am I! I have thy droids,

My noble errand is to rescue thee,

And I with Ben Kenobi have come here!

LEIA
With Ben Kenobi? Where is he?

LUKE
—Draw near!

[Exeunt
.