Where Rainbows End (7 page)

The apartment is small but because I’ve such long shifts at the hospital, I hardly get to stay here anyway. I’ve got another life-long sentence here at the hospital before I can actually call myself a heart surgeon. In the meantime I’m being paid a pittance at work and slaving away till all hours. There’s a nice park directly across the road and it’s got a playground for kids, Katie would love it.

Anyway that’s enough about me. I seem to be just talking about myself these days. Please write to me and let me know how things are going for you.

I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us, Rosie.

Keep in touch,

Alex

TO ALEX,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MAY THE FESTIVE SEASON BE FILLED WITH LOVE AND JOY FOR YOU

AND YOUR LOVED ONES.

Love Rosie & kAtIe

love, rosie

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ROSIE AND KATIE,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

May this year bring you lots of fun, love, and happiness!

Love,

Alex and Sally

Dear Stephanie

You will not believe the card that just arrived through my door this morning. I was almost sick. I was just cleaning up the mess Mum and Dad made after their annual new year’s party when it made its grand entrance on the doormat. I was almost expecting the sound of trumpets to go with it!

“Da da da announcing the arrival of the extremely sad coupley card!” There was about ten million bottles of wine rolling around the floor when I came downstairs and I nearly tripped over a game of Trivial Pursuit (yes it was one of those nights). There were those stupid paper hats strewn around the living room, hanging from the lightbulbs, or dangling in the gravy dish looking extremely unappealing. There were Christmas crackers pulled apart with their crappy little miniature toys falling out that no one could possibly ever use like little torches the size of your thumbnail and jigsaws with about two pieces, lying in the leftover food,
the place was a mess!

Honestly, Steph, when Mum and Dad went away we held the craziest parties
ever
but at least we still managed not to behave like farmyard animals. Plus they were screaming and singing (well
trying
to sing) and dancing (or stamping their feet in some sort of crazy people ritual)
all night
. Poor Katie was terrified of all the noise (she just can’t be my daughter), and she spent the night screaming her head off. So I had to sit up with her all night.

Eventually everyone started to leave the house at about 6 or 7 A.M., and I was starting to fall asleep when I was jerked awake by a little monster jumping on me and demanding food.

So anyway I think what I’m
trying
to say is that I wasn’t in the greatest mood for what arrived on my doorstep. I had a pounding headache, I was so tired and after cleaning the mess downstairs (which is fine because it is Mum and Dad’s house after all and they are kindly letting me stay rent-free so I’m 62

Cecelia Ahern

not complaining about them) I just wanted peace and quiet and a bit of sleep.

But the card came.

The happy-new-year-make-me-gag card.

On the front was a lovely little picture of Alex and Sally all dressed up warmly in their winter coats and hats and gloves etc. . . . they were standing outside in a park that was covered in snow with their arms wrapped around . . . a snowman. A bloody snowman.

They looked so sickeningly happy. Two little happy Harvard-heads.

Uugh.

How sad is it to send a photo of yourself and your boyfriend building a snowman??? Very very very sad. That’s how sad. And to send it to me, especially!! The cheek!

I should have sent them a photo of me and . . . me and . . . George (the lollipop man and the only man I seem to speak to these days) standing outside in the freezing cold jumping in puddles. That’s how pointless that would have been to them!

Oh god, I’m rambling on and on. Sorry. I have to go before Katie finishes the last of that red wine in the bottle on the floor.

Oh, by the way. It was great to meet your boyfriend after all this time, he’s a really nice guy. You two should come home more often, it was fun speaking to people closer to my age for a change.

Happy new year. Whoever thought of that expression?

Love, your festive and extremely joyous younger sister, Rosie.

TO ROSIE,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY FRIEND!

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF 25 YEAR OLDS! WE ARE GETTING OLD, ROSIE!

WRITE TO ME MORE OFTEN!

LOVE ALEX

TO ALEX

YOU ARE IVNITED TO MY 7TH BRITHDAY PARTY ON THE 4TH

OF MAY IN MY HOWSE. WE ARE HAVING A MAJICIN. I CANT

love, rosie

63

WAIT. IT IS ON AT 2 O’CLOCK AND YOU CAN LEAVE AT 5

O’CLOCK.

LOVE KATIE

Dear Katie,

I’m sorry I can’t come to your birthday party. The magician sounds like he will be lots of fun. You will have so many friends you won’t even no I’m not there! I have to work at the hospital, so they won’t let me take a holiday.

I told them it was your birthday but they still wouldn’t listen!

However I have sent you a little something so I hope you like it. Happy birthday, Katie, and take care of your mummy for me. She is very special.

Lots of love to you and Mum,

Alex

TO ALEX,

THANK YOU FOR MY BRITHDAY PRESENT. MY MUMMY

CRIED WHEN I OPENED IT. I NEVER HAD A LOCKET BEFORE. THE

PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU AND MUMMY ARE VERY SMALL.

THE MAJICIN WAS GOOD BUT MY BEST FREIND TOBY SAID HE

NEW HE WAS CHEATING AND SHOWED EVERYONE WHERE THE

MAN HID THE CARDS. THE MAN WAS NOT VERY HAPPY AND HE

GOT MAD AT TOBY. MUMMY LAFFED SO LOUD I DO NOT THINK

THE MAJIC MAN LIKED HER EETHER. TOBY LIKES MUM.

I GOT LOTS OF NICE PRESENTS BUT AVRIL AND SINEAD GOT

ME THE SAME THING. MUMMY AND ME ARE MOVING HOWSE

SOON. I WILL MISS GRANDMA AND GRANDAD SO MUCH AND I NO MUMMY IS SAD BECAUSE I HEARD HER CRYING LAST NIGHT

IN BED.

BUT WE ARE NOT MOVING TOO FAR AWAY. YOU CAN GET

THE BUS FORM GRANDMA AND GRANDAD TO OUR NEW HOWSE.

IT DOES NOT TAKE TOO LONG AND WE ARE NEARER TO ALL THE

SHOPS IN TOWN SO WE CAN WALK.

IT IS MUCH SMALLER THAN THE HOWSE WE ARE IN NOW.

MUMMY IS FUNNY SHE CALLS IT A SHOE BOX! THERE ARE ONLY

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Cecelia Ahern

2 BEDROOMS AND THE KITCHEN IS TINY AND THERE IS NO DINING ROOM OR PLAYROOM. JUST A PLACE TO EAT AND WATCH

TELLY. WE HAVE A BALCONY AND IT’S NICE BUT MUM WONT

LET ME STAND ON IT ON MY OWN.

I CAN SEE THE PARK. MUMMY SAYS THE PARK IS OUR GARDEN AND THAT WE HAVE THE BIGGEST GARDEN IN THE WORLD.

MUMMY SAID THAT I CAN PAINT MY ROOM WHATEVER

COLOR I WANT. I THINK I’LL PAINT IT PINK OR PURPLE. TOBY

SAYS WE SHOULD PAINT IT BLACK. HE IS FUNNY.

MUMMY HAS A NEW JOB. SHE WORKS ONLY A FEW DAYS IN A WEEK SO SOMETIMES SHE CAN COLLECT ME FROM SKOOL AND

OTHER TIMES SHE CANT. I PLAY WITH TOBY UNTIL SHE COMES

HOME. HIS MUM ALWAYS BRINGS HIM AND COLLECTS HIM

BECAUSE THEY SAY WE ARE TOO YOUNG TO GET THE BUS. I DON’T THINK MUM LIKES HER JOB. SHE IS ALWAYS TIRED AND

CRYING. SHE SAID SHE WOULD PERFER TO BE BACK IN SKOOL

DOING DUBBLE MATTS. I DON’T NO WHAT SHE MEANS. ME AND

TOBY HATE SKOOL BUT HE ALWAYS MAKES ME LAFF. MUMMY

SAYS SHE IS TIRED OF HAVING TO KEEP GOING BACK TO MY

TEACHER MS. CASEY. GRANDMA AND GRANDAD THINK IT IS

FUNNY. MS. CASEY HAS THE BIGGEST NOSE EVER. SHE HATES ME

AND TOBY. I DO NOT THINK SHE LIKES MUM EETHER BECAUSE

THEY ALWAYS FIGHT WHEN THEY SEE EACH OTHER.

MUM HAS A NEW FREIND. THEY WORK IN THE SAME BUILDING BUT NOT IN THE SAME OFFICE. THEY MET OUTSIDE IN THE

COLD BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO SMOKE OUTSIDE. MUM SAYS SHE

IS THE BEST FREIND SHE HAS HAD FOR AGES. HER NAME IS RUBY

AND SHE IS REAL FUNNY. I LIKE WHEN SHE COMES OVER. SHE

AND MUM ARE ALWAYS LAFFING. I LIKE IT WHEN RUBY IS HERE

BECAUSE MUM DOESN’T CRY.

IT IS REAL SUNNY NOW IN DUBLIN. ME AND MUM HAVE BEEN

TO THE BEACH A FEW TIMES. I AM LEARNING TO SWIM. BUT I HAVE TO KEEP MY ARMBANDS ON IN THE SEA. MUM SAYS SHE

WANTS TO LIVE ON THE BEACH. SHE SAYS SHE WOULD LIKE TO

love, rosie

65

LIVE IN THE SEA SHELLS! OUR NEW FLAT IS IN THE CITY AND I LIKE IT.

WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO SEE US? MUMMY SAYS YOU ARE

GETTING MARRIED TO A GIRL NAMED BIMBO. THAT’S A FUNNY

NAME.

LOVE,

KATIE

You have an instant message from: RUBY

Ruby:

Hey you, happy Monday.

Rosie:

Oh great, hold on while I get the champagne.

Ruby:

What did you do over the weekend?

Rosie:

Oh
wait
till you hear this! I was just
dying
to tell you all morning, it’s
so
exciting! You’ll
never
believe it, I—

Ruby:

I sense sarcasm here. Let me guess: you watched TV.

Rosie:

Introducing Ruby . . . and her psychic powers!! I had to listen to it with the volume blaring just to drown out the loving couple next door screaming their ears off each other. Someday they’re going to kill each other. I can’t wait. Poor Katie didn’t know what was going on so I sent her down to stay at Toby’s house.

Ruby:

Honestly don’t some people understand the meaning of the word DIVORCE?

Rosie:

Ha ha, well, it’s a magic word for you.

Ruby:

I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t make fun of a devastatingly difficult time in my life that left me feeling shattered and emotionally distraught.

Rosie:

Oh please! Getting that divorce was the happiest day of your life! You bought the most expensive bottle of champagne, love, rosie

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went out clubbing, and you snogged the ugliest man in the world . . .

Ruby:

Ah well people have their different ways of grieving . . . OK well it was a happier feeling than the one I had on my wedding day . . .

The wedding day feeling was kind of “Uh oh . . .”

Rosie:

Have you finished typing up all that crap Randy Andy gave us?

Ruby:

No I haven’t. Have you?

Rosie:

No.

Ruby:

Good let’s take a coffee break as a reward. We really shouldn’t overwork ourselves. I hear it’s quite dangerous. Will you bring your fags, I forgot mine.

Rosie:

Yep meet you downstairs in five minutes.

Ruby:

It’s a date. Gosh how exciting. Neither of us has been on one of them for a while . . .

You have an instant message from: RUBY

Ruby:

Where the hell were you? I waited for you in the café for a half an hour!

Rosie:

Oh what hell for you Ruby!

Ruby:

Yes I had to force myself to eat
two
chocolate muffins
and
a slice of apple pie. Oh it was
awful
Rosie . . . if only you had been there . . .

Rosie:

Sorry about that, Randy Andy here wouldn’t let me leave the office.

Ruby:

Oh he is such a slave driver! You should complain to head office, get the asshole fired.

Rosie:

He is head office.

Ruby:

Oh yeah.

Rosie:

Well in all fairness Ruby, he may be a prick but we did just take a break an hour ago . . . and it was our third one in less than three hours . . .

Ruby:

You are turning into one of THEM!

Rosie:

I have a child to feed.

Ruby:

As do I.

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Cecelia Ahern

Rosie:

That child feeds himself, Ruby.

Ruby:

Ah leave my little fatso alone. He’s my baby and I love him regardless.

Rosie:

He’s 17.

Ruby:

Yes, and old enough to have a baby of his own, going by your standards . . .

Rosie:

Well he’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t go to his school ball with the most uninteresting man in the world with the ugliest face, that way he won’t have to drink a sickening amount of alcohol to trick the brain into thinking that man is beautiful and funny and . . . well you know the rest.

Ruby:

Are you suggesting that my son could perhaps have a gay relationship at his debs?

Rosie:

No! I was just saying . . .

Ruby:

Oh I know what you were saying, except I think that my poor darling son may be the exact person that girls will have to drink excess amounts of alcohol just to love . . .

Rosie:

RUBY!! You can’t say that about your son!!

Ruby:

Oh, why not, I love him with all my heart but bless him he wasn’t born with his mother’s looks.

Rosie:

Ha ha.

Ruby:

Anyway so when are you going to
ever
go out with
someone
,
anyone?

Rosie:

Ruby we are
not
having this conversation again. Everyone you have tried to set me up with has been a complete weirdo! I don’t know where you meet these men and in fact I don’t think I even
want
to know! Anyway you can’t talk, when exactly was the last time you went out on a date?

Ruby:

Ah that’s a very different matter altogether! I’m a woman 10 years your senior who has just been through a very difficult divorce from a selfish little bastard of a man and I have a 17-year-old son who only communicates with me through monosyllabic grunting sounds. I think he is the son of an ape (actually I know he is), I have no time for a man!

Rosie:

Well neither do I.

Ruby:

Rosie honey, you’re 25 years old, you’ve got at least ten years of your life left before it’s over. You should get out there and enjoy love, rosie

69

yourself, stop letting the weight of the world rest on
your
shoulders; that’s my job. And stop waiting for him.

Rosie: