We Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (7 page)

“As what? His personal call girl?”

“I do his filing, answer his phones, that sort of thing.”

“Right,” Terry scoffed. “You expect me to believe you were doing office work? This late?”

“It’s true.”

Brushing past her, he strode to Cole’s Navigator and tried to open the driver’s door, but Jaclyn had locked it. When he couldn’t get in, he whirled to face her. “Give me the keys.”

Jaclyn was holding them in her right hand. Instinctively she made a fist around them and tucked it behind her back. “No.”

“I want to know who owns this truck, dammit.”

“It’s none of your business, Terry. I’m home now. You can leave.”

“I said, give me the keys.” Grabbing her arm, he twisted, forcing her to let go of them. Then he unlocked the Navigator and checked the registration.

“I’ll be a son of a bitch. It’s Cole Perrini’s,” he said. “You’re screwing that trailer trash we went to high school with.”

“I’m not screwing anyone. And he’s not trailer trash,” she said.

Terry shoved his cowboy hat back to smirk at her. “Coulda fooled me. As I remember it, most days he didn’t even show up for school. Ran around in that beater truck
of his drinkin’ and fightin’ and causin’ trouble—at least, until he knocked up Rochelle.”

The way Jaclyn remembered it, Terry and his friends had done less fighting, but they’d certainly done more drinking. “I don’t care what Cole was like in high school. It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter? It doesn’t matter that he left Rochelle only a few months after she lost their baby? That she was so broken up by how he’d treated her that she tried to commit suicide? What kinda man would leave his wife on the heels of a tragedy like that?”

“We don’t know what happened. It’s none of our business, anyway.”

Terry acted as though she hadn’t spoken. “And you think he was true to her while they were married?” he went on. “Hell, no. That boy don’t know what it’s like to be true to anyone, except maybe those no-good brothers he was always fighting for.”

“You’re one to talk about fidelity,” Jaclyn said, so disgusted she couldn’t hold back any longer.

“At least I always loved you, took care of you. Cole didn’t give a shit about Rochelle.”

“You’re repeating small-town gossip,” she said. “That’s all.”

“You can think that if you want, but there ain’t no secrets in Feld.”

God, didn’t she know! Every time Terry had stepped out on her, the whole town knew—usually before she did. She’d walked through the grocery store or post office in the wake of whispers and nods, even chuckling, more times than she could count. It had been downright humiliating.

“Regardless, Cole’s cleaned up his act,” she said. “You should see him now. He got out of Feld and he’s made something of himself.”

“He has?” Terry spat on the Navigator. “Anyone can finance a damn car. Don’t let this baby fool you.”

“At least he owns something that doesn’t belong to his daddy,” she replied.

He stared at her, his jaw sagging, and for a moment Jaclyn thought she’d pushed him too far. Her nails dug into her palms as she waited for his shouted response, but when he spoke, his voice was soft, almost pained.

“I know where you’re comin’ from, Jackie. I should have fought my father, got us our own place, like you said. He’s just so…” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I love the crusty old bastard, but I hate him, too. And I want you to know that the divorce stuff and all that, well, that was more him than me. You know I’m not a bad guy. I’ve made my mistakes, but I’ve loved you since high school, and I’ll love you for the rest of our lives, if you’ll let me. That’s really why I brought the kids home early. I wanted to talk to you about putting all this behind us and starting fresh, somewhere far away from my father. That’s what you always wanted, isn’t it?”

Jaclyn squeezed her eyes closed. She’d downright pleaded for Terry to take her away from his parents’ ranch more times than she could count. She’d always believed that if they had just struck out on their own, they might have had a chance. But Terry hadn’t been strong enough then. And she doubted he was strong enough now. In either case, it was too late. As much as she wished they could get back together for the children’s sake, something had changed inside her. She didn’t know if she’d ever even
want
to marry again, to leave herself so vulnerable to another’s misntakes and decisions….

Even if she did get married again, it wouldn’t be to Terry. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It’s too late.”

Head bowed, he spat in the dirt and adjusted his hat to sit lower on his brow. “Then, do me one favor,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Don’t get involved with the likes of Cole Perrini. He’s bad news, Jackie, probably more than you know.”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Cole,” she replied. “I work for him. That’s it.”

With a nod, he indicated the Navigator. “I suppose that’s a company car, and that you get off at midnight every day?”

“I worked late on a project, my battery died, and Cole didn’t have any cables. He was nice enough to lend me his vehicle so I could get home tonight.”

Terry studied her, looking skeptical. “Just don’t let him do you too many favors. You might not like what he expects in return.”

He turned and left, and Jaclyn stood in the drive staring after him until the sound of his engine died away. Cole might have his problems, but they were personal problems that had nothing to do with professional relationships. What he’d done to Rochelle had nothing to do with her. How he treated his love interests had nothing to do with her, either, because she wasn’t one of them.

Taking a long look at his Navigator, she tried telling herself that once more, more forcibly:
I have no romantic interest in Cole Perrini. He might be as handsome as the devil, and as charismatic, too, but I’m not interested in any man. At least, right now.

But there was still a small rebellious voice in the back of her mind that called her a liar and dared put forth the thought that she wasn’t interested in any man
but
him.

She might have pondered that notion, weighed it for veracity, but out of the corner of her eye she saw a curtain move in the bedroom window of Mr. Alder’s house. Had he been watching her? Had he heard her and Terry’s whole argument?

If he was awake, he probably had. The night was warm and all his windows were open.

“Just my luck,” she grumbled, wincing at how bad some of Terry’s comments had made her look. Then, exhausted, she headed into the house.

“W
HERE’S
D
ADDY
?”

Jaclyn blinked, struggling to reach full consciousness. It was light outside, but the alarm hadn’t gone off yet. What had awakened Alex so early?

“He went home,” she mumbled.

“What?”

“He went home,” she clarified, trying not to slur her words this time. “Did you have fun at Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

Alex stood at the side of her bed, scowling, his sandy-colored hair mussed, and didn’t respond.

“Aren’t you going to answer me?” she asked, shoving both pillows behind her back and propping herself up so she could see him better. “Come give me a hug, sweetheart. I missed you. A lot happened while you were gone that I want to tell you about.”

Such a statement would normally have elicited a storm of enthusiastic and curious questions. Today her son merely stuck his lip out farther.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Is Daddy coming back?”

Jaclyn hesitated. After her and Terry’s conversation the night before, she wasn’t sure if he was going to continue to take the children as regularly as he had in the past. “I’m sure he’ll be back sometime, but I don’t know when. We haven’t discussed it yet.”

“What does that mean?” Alex demanded.

“Just that we need to coordinate our schedules.”

“No, it doesn’t. It means you and Daddy aren’t getting back together.”

Jaclyn caught her breath. Evidently Alex hadn’t been asking when he was going to see his father again. He was talking about something else entirely. “Did someone say we were going to reconcile?” she asked.

“That’s why we came back early. Daddy said it was time we were a family again.”

“I’m sorry he told you that,” she murmured. “I wish we could’ve remained a family, too.”

“Then, why did we leave? Why can’t we just go back?”

Was it only last night that she’d thought her life was getting easier? She’d never given Terry any indication that she’d changed her mind about the divorce, so why would he suddenly assume she’d take him back? “Because there are some issues between Mommy and Daddy that can’t be resolved.”

“He told me he’s sorry for whatever it is you’re mad about.”

Mackenzie and Alyssa appeared at the door, rubbing their eyes and yawning. “I heard Daddy say it, too, Mommy,” Mackenzie volunteered.

Jaclyn held her arms out to her daughters, and they came forward to give her a hug. Fortunately they were too young to hold a grudge. Alex was the one who worried Jaclyn. At ten, he was old enough to understand what the Wentworths were telling him but not emotionally mature enough to qualify it.

“I’m not angry at Daddy anymore,” she said. “I just can’t live with him.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Alex insisted.

“I’m sorry, honey. Come here.” Jaclyn slid over, trying to entice her son to join them in the comfortable bed, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Grandpa said if you really loved us, you’d move back home,” he said.

What wouldn’t Burt say to make her look bad? Jaclyn wanted to tell Alex that if their
grandfather
really loved them, he’d stop filling their ears with things that were only going to hurt them—but she refused to say it. She wouldn’t use her children as emotional pawns the way Burt and Terry did.

“Grandpa is wrong,” she said firmly. “He’s getting old, and sometimes he gets a little confused.”

“You always say that. I told him, too.”

“What was his response?”

“He choked on something and got all red in the face.”

“And Grandma had to smack him on the back,” Mackenzie added.

Jaclyn bit her cheeks to hide a fleeting smile.

“Then he left the room and didn’t come back,” Alex added.

The urge to smile disappeared when she saw the hurt and resentment in her son’s hazel eyes. “Listen to me, Alex. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have fought so hard to take you with me when I left.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have taken us. Maybe you should have just left us there!” he cried, and stomped away.

Jaclyn felt tears prick the back of her eyelids, felt one roll across her temple and into her hair. She wanted her son to be happy again, as he was before the divorce. Sometimes she blamed herself as much as Terry for destroying that, but when she considered her options, she knew too much had happened to go back.

“Mommy, why you crying?” Alyssa asked, her brows knitting worriedly above her wide blue eyes.

Jaclyn forced a smile and kissed her round cheek. “I’m okay, baby. It’s just that I love you kids so much.”

“I love you, too,” she said, slipping her small arms around Jaclyn’s neck.

Mackenzie shoved her light brown hair out of her eyes and snuggled closer. “So do I,” she whispered.

Jaclyn enjoyed a whole five minutes with the warmth of their little bodies pressed close to her own. Then the alarm went off.

C
OLE WAS IN HIS OFFICE
when Jaclyn arrived at work, but he heard her out front talking to Rick. She was explaining why she’d taken the Navigator home. Rick recommended an auto-parts store, not far from the office, where she could buy a battery at lunchtime. Then the conversation turned to how impressed Rick was with the files.

Cole fidgeted with his pen and thought about going out to greet Jackie. He’d been half listening for her since 7:45, feeling an odd sort of anticipation. But he doubted he would have dashed out front to say hello if she was any other employee, so he closed his door to keep from being distracted again, and finished signing the payroll checks.

Fifteen minutes later, Cole pinched the bridge of his nose and swiveled away from the letter he’d been writing on his computer. He could no longer hear what Jackie and Rick were saying, but the hum of their voices filtered into the room and made it impossible for him to concentrate. When Jaclyn laughed, he felt he was missing something. When Rick laughed, he grew irritable. Rick and Chad and half the construction crew could have been standing out front, shouting at the top of their lungs, and it wouldn’t have affected his ability to work. But add one Jaclyn Wentworth to the office and suddenly he couldn’t think of a blasted thing, except her smile and whether or not she found herself attracted to Rick and whether or not he should go out and say good morning…

Damn. Evidently, I
was
stupid for hiring her.

Jaclyn’s laugh reached him again, and Cole frowned. What was so darn funny? Rick wasn’t exactly a comedian.
He rarely flirted, had a formidable temper, could be downright cynical…and charming as hell, if he wanted to be.

Shuffling through the papers on his desk, Cole quickly gathered a handful of items he could discuss with his brother and strode out of the room. Jaclyn was
his
friend,
his
secretary. There were plenty of other women in the world. Rick didn’t need to turn his attention on the only girl Cole had ever idolized. Ten years might have passed since Feld, but Cole felt a little proprietary toward Jaclyn all the same.

When he reached the front office, he tried to slow his step but seemed to charge into the room, anyway. Both Jaclyn and Rick looked up.

“Good morning,” Jaclyn said, welcoming him with a smile that hit him like a knockout punch.

He nodded and said hello, but couldn’t manage a smile. He was too troubled by his reaction to her and the fact that ten years suddenly seemed like nothing. “I have a few things I need to discuss with you,” he said to Rick, instantly regretting the terseness in his voice because it lent his words too much gravity.

Rick shot a glance at Jackie, then blinked at him. “You want me to come into your office?” he asked in surprise.

Cole knew Rick was wondering what they had to talk about that Jackie couldn’t hear—Cole was wondering the same thing. But he couldn’t very well explain that he’d actually intended to join them, to casually become part of their conversation so he could talk and laugh with Jackie, too. Because he’d screwed it up. There hadn’t been anything casual about his sudden appearance or his brisk manner.

“If you’ve got a minute,” he said, managing to temper his voice this time.

“Sure.” Rick scooted his chair back and stood. “Jaclyn, I’ll be right back. Would you mind picking up the phones while I’m gone?”

“Sure thing.”

Cole led the way to his office, wondering what the hell he was going to say once Rick closed the door behind them. The papers he held in his hand were actually business items they’d discussed before, sometimes more than once. He had nothing new and certainly nothing secret to go over with his brother. And he feared Rick would see right through him—Rick possessed an uncanny ability to do exactly that—if he didn’t come up with something legitimate, fast.

“What is it?” Rick asked, leaning against the wall near the door once they were safely ensconced in his office.

Cole hadn’t decided what he was going to say, at least consciously, so what came out of his mouth surprised him. “I want you to tell me what’s going on with you.”

Rick scowled. “What are you talking about?”

“Last night. I want to know where you were.”

“That’s none of your business and you know it,” he said, shoving away from the wall to approach his desk.

Of all his brothers, Rick was the most unpredictable. He was often angry, always strong-willed and sometimes resentful. Cole knew he shouldn’t push him—they’d been careful to respect each other’s boundaries for years, ever since their mother died—but now that the subject had been broached, Cole’s curiosity compelled him to finish what he’d started. “You’re my brother. That makes it my business. You’re different lately. Preoccupied. Vague. Are you in some sort of trouble?”

“Trouble. You
would
think that,” Rick said, chuckling mirthlessly. “I forgot—you’re the only one smart enough to amount to anything. The rest of us should be damn grateful to ride on the coattails of your success. Is that it, Cole? Tell me, don’t you think that’s just a little arrogant?”

Cole dropped his voice to warning level. “Watch it, Rick. I don’t think you’ve earned the right to judge me. I’ve always said you could do anything you put your mind
to. I sat on you through high school, tried to make you finish when you wanted to drop out. I—”

“Beat the hell out of me every time the school called to say I had another unexcused absence. How could I forget?”

The bitterness in Rick’s voice was unmistakable now, triggering a tide of memories and emotion Cole was helpless to suppress. Did Rick still hold those years in Feld against him? Did his brother think he’d done what he had back then out of arrogance—because he figured he had all the answers? Hell, no! He’d been lucky to survive. At times he’d been so tempted to run away that he’d buried his face in his pillow at night and sobbed, despite the self-loathing such weakness had caused. But he’d stayed. He might not have done a perfect job of raising Rick, but at least he’d stayed. He’d dug in his heels and fought harder than he’d ever fought for anything in his life—even Perrini Homes—because he loved his brothers, because they
were
his brothers, dammit!

“It was the only way I knew, Rick,” Cole said. “It was all I
could
do. I’m only three years older than you. You wouldn’t cooperate, listen to anything I had to say. Force seemed to be the only thing that had an effect on you, and to be honest, you ungrateful bastard, sometimes I resent it as much as you do.”

Rick’s chest was rising and falling fast; his fists were clenched at his sides. “Then, maybe it’s time we gave each other some room. Maybe it’s time we started down our own separate paths, Cole. You’ve been taking care of me long enough, don’t you think?”

Rick’s words cut Cole to the quick. After everything he’d done to keep them together, Rick wanted a separate path?

“Is that what you want?”

Rick nodded. “I think it is.”

God, he couldn’t lose one of his brothers now. Surely they could overcome the past. They’d made it so far….

For a fleeting moment, Cole contemplated apologizing.
He couldn’t imagine his life, or Perrini Homes, without Rick. His brothers were the reason he’d built the business in the first place, to give them something to fall back on, to keep them from ending up like their father, who’d died a poor broken man. But something in Rick’s eyes told him an apology would never be enough. The pain Rick carried inside him was too big for “I’m sorry.”

“Do you honestly think there’s something better out there?” Cole asked softly.

Rick stared at him for several seconds. “I don’t know,” he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, “but I think that’s something I need to find out for myself.”

He turned to the door, and Cole got up, wanting to stop him. If it had been Chad or one of the younger two who was about to walk out on him, Cole wouldn’t have been half as worried. Like all siblings, they had their disagreements, but his relationship with each of them was basically sound.

Rick was different. If Rick walked out the door, he might never come back.

“Rick, think about what you’re doing….”

His brother glanced over his shoulder, one hand on the doorknob. “I knew this was coming, Cole. It had to happen eventually, because I can’t respect myself if I never risk life out from under the safety of your protective wing. And this is as good a time as any to venture forth.”

Suddenly filled with a horrible sense of loss, Cole grasped for anything that might hold Rick until they could work things out. “But you have a job here—”

“You built this business from nothing, Cole. You know enough about what I do to get by until you can hire someone to replace me. Maybe Jaclyn can even do my job. It will be tough at first, and I’m sorry for that, but I think we both know it’s better this way.” He opened the door. “I’ll
see you around,” he said, but it came off a lot like
Have a nice life.

Then his purposeful tread sounded in the hall. The front door slammed, an engine roared to life, tires squealed.