Walk Away, The Romance of Nick and Layla (Part 1) (5 page)

And then I stopped.

And I got up from him.

And I left the room.

Nick found me in the kitchen. He hadn’t
even bothered to put his clothes back on, he just walked in naked.
"Layla?"

"You want turkey or ham on your sandwich?"

"WHAT?!" he practically yelled.

"Turkey? Or ham?" I asked him
slowly. Jesus Christ I wasn’t speaking Russian.

"Baby..."

"Nope, we only have turkey or ham.
Mustard?"

"No. I want you to finish what you
started."

"Well then I need to know if you want
turkey or ham or else you’re just getting bread, tomato and lettuce."

"Fuck the sandwich! Are you on
something?"

"What? I’m hungry!" I defended.

"Look at me; I have a fucking third
leg here!"

"So use it as kick stand and sit your
ass down so you can eat something." Dear God. Calm down, Nick!

"Are you out of your fucking
mind?!" he yelled.

"Nick shut up and sit down before you
fall over with that thing. Damn!" I plopped two slices each of ham and
turkey on the bread, squirted it with mustard, most of which splattered all
over the counter, put the bread together and pushed the plate to him.

But he just looked at me, that vein
throbbing out of his forehead. And Jesus Christ it tuned me on.

Before I even knew it was happening, Nick
had swung me over his shoulder and was carrying me out of the kitchen. I had
quite a view.

"God Nick, your ass is really white.
Maybe you should think about going to a tanning booth once in a while."

I heard my back crack as he put me onto
something hard and wooden. It was the dining room table. I tried to get up but
he was already on top of me, ripping my favorite silk robe off of my body.

"Nick that was my favorite robe!"
I protested.

"Fuck the fucking robe. I’ll buy you a
new one."

"Nick you’re going to stain the finish
on this damn table!"

"Layla Hudson I swear to God...”  

I tried to protest again but was stopped
when he entered me. And I did scream. It wasn’t in pain. It was a scream that
only the most intense pleasure could bring. My leg kicked over a chair as I
wrapped it around his waist, desperately wanting him deeper.

Nick lost the upper hand when he tried
moving out of me and I used it to flip him over on the table and hover myself
above him. "If you break this table!" I warned, looking down at him.

"Layla!" he whined. God I was
loving this.

"Stop your whining you big dope! Just
shut up!" I came down on top of him and moved my hips against him as hard
as I could. His head snapped back and he moaned. I slowed down, barely moving.
He looked up at me with maniacal eyes.

"If you stop so help me God..."

"Say it, Nick."

"Say what?"

I moved fast again, then slower and slower.
"Say it!" I said again. "Tell me why you fucked all those other
women when you could have been home fucking your wife! SAY IT" I moved
fast again and he screamed out. I felt the table gave way and we crashed down
to the ground with it, still together on top of the pieces of broken wood.

But he didn’t have the time to say anything
because the next thing I knew we were screaming... releasing... exploding... I
collapsed on top of him, completely exhausted. Physically, emotionally and
mentally. I couldn’t move. He couldn’t move.

I finally looked at him. His face was red
and he was gasping for air. I tried to get up and get him out of me but I just
fell again, my head falling next to his. He was breathing into my neck and his
heart was pumping triple time under me.

It took a while for me to find my strength,
but when I did, I reached up and slapped him hard across his face. "You
stupid asshole! Don’t you ever cheat on me again!"

He looked at me but his face was
unreadable. "Layla..."

"And by the way, you mother fucker,
you owe me seventy-five for the robe, five hundred for the table and three
fifty for that sandwich you didn’t eat!"

And I blacked out.

I woke up to the sound of Nick strumming on
a guitar. I opened my eyes slowly and the pain hit me like I didn’t expect it
to. "Oouucchh," I cried to myself. I sat up on the couch carefully,
trying very hard not to move too quickly. I went to rub my face and looked down
at myself. I was wearing one of Nick’s shirts and a pair of his shorts. They
carried the scent of his cologne. Another thing I loved about Nick.

"Layla," he began. I shook my
head and put my hand up to stop him.

"Let me get some ice first." I
stood up and walked into the kitchen, pulling a towel from the counter and
wrapping ice from the freezer inside it. I folded it up and walked back to the
couch, easing myself down. I propped my legs up on the coffee table and applied
the ice between my legs. "Much better."

I didn’t watch as Nick stood up from the
loveseat and came over to me, sitting down next to me. He embraced me and I
instinctively leaned into him. I put the ice down next to me and folded my legs
to my chest underneath the shirt. And I just sat there, breathing next to him.

"That was... different."

I nodded my head and closed my eyes.
"We’ve never broken furniture before."

"We broke the towel bar in the
bathroom of the main house once. Remember?"

Oh, I remembered all right. "But that
wasn’t nearly as rough as what just happened."

Nick gently ran his fingers through my hair
and kissed my temple. "Why do we get like this Layla?"

"Because we’re fucked up. You know
that." I didn’t know what else to say. I suppose I should feel guilty
about my actions. But I don’t. Maybe I should apologize. But I can’t.

"What you said.... why did you say
it?"

I took a deep breath. I had no clue.
"I was just upset and angry and frustrated" And horny as hell. Why
does he need answers now?

"Do you really hate me that
much?" he asked. God help me. I think I do.

"Nick let’s not do this." Since
when does he ever want to talk about what’s going on between us? Usually he’d
just run off and find himself a nice piece of ass. "I’m expecting you to
leave anyway so if you’re going to do it, do it while I’m okay with it."
What a liar. I’m such a liar.

"Do you want me to leave? Do you
really want me to?"

"Nick, I want to you to do whatever is
going to make you feel all right with yourself." Hell, I was already
surprised he stayed as long as he had.

"Do you want me to go?" No, I
don’t want you to go Nick. I want you to stay here forever and love me. Please
just love me for once in your life! Damn it.

"I want you to do whatever makes you
happy." And that was the truth. I only wanted the best for him. Just as
long as he’s happy.

"What about your happiness? Don’t you
care about yourself?" He almost sounded like it mattered to him that my
answer was ‘yes’. Why is that?

"It doesn’t really matter to me Nick.
Because my happiness comes from knowing that you’re safe and sound."

"Layla, I don’t like hearing you talk
like this. It’s freaking me out."

"You aren’t concerned, Nick. You only
care about you. I guess, when you break it down, that’s the only thing we have
in common; our concern for you."

"I don’t give a shit about me right
now. The only person I’m worried about is you."

I sat up from him and shook my head.
"You’re such a liar." I got up from the couch, grabbed the ice, and
headed back to my room.

Once I was under the warmth and safety of
my bed sheets I started to really think about what Nick had said. How the hell
could he bullshit me at a time like this? Why doesn’t he just go off and find
some other girl and be with her? I know he’d much rather do that than spoon-feed
me all of his lies and bullshit.

I felt Nick’s warm body come next to mine,
hugging me so tenderly. Why was he still here? Doesn’t he know that I know his
game? I’ve figured him out. That’s the end of the game.

"Layla we said we’d try to make this work.
I don’t see you trying."

"Oh please. Just divorce me already.
You know you want to." Holy. Fucking. Shit. That wasn’t my inner monologue
talking. That was me talking. My voice talking.

"WHAT?" he asked, shocked.
"I don’t want to divorce you. What the hell would make you think
that?"

Shit. Shit. Shit. Stupid! Just stop talking
Layla! Stop thinking! Just
stop
! "Isn’t that where we’ve been
heading since the day we got married?" Goddamn it. Well congratulations,
Layla
. Just fuck it all up.

"Why the hell would I marry if you if
I knew one day I would divorce you?" Don’t say anything. Don’t think
anything. Just shut up Layla. "Layla?" Maybe if I go to sleep he’ll
forget I’m fucked up and need to be institutionalized. "Layla!" I
mean, that’s what I am, right? Just some fucked up, screwed up girl...
"LAYLA!"

"WHAT NICK?" I screamed.
"What do you want me to say? I’m sorry but I can’t lie like you can."

"I have never once lied to you,
Layla."

Sure you haven’t. You’ve been lying to me
"since the very moment you told me you loved me!" Oh fuck, not again!

"Since the moment I told you I love
you, what?"

"Forget it, Nick."

"No! How can you believe that I don’t
honestly love you? How can you even think I’d want a divorce?"

"Because, Nick, you break my heart every
chance you get! And my furniture. You never stop at making me hurt and bleed
until I am nothing but an empty shell with no heart and no soul. That’s
why!"

"What do I have to do to get it
through your thick head that I’m completely in love with you? Huh? What’s it
going to take?"

"Maybe you could stop pretending and
actually love me!" I couldn’t stop the tears as they came pouring down my
face. I never cried in front of Nick. Never in the years that I’ve known him
have I let him see my like this.

"Why  would you marry me if you
thought I didn’t love you?" he asked. I could hear the emotion in his
voice and this time I couldn’t pass it off as a lie. I knew this time he was
being honest.

"Because."

"BECAUSE WHY?" he yelled at me.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” I yelled back. “Because
I love you so much and I thought that... that even if you were only
pretending... I could live with that because at least then I’d get to love
you." God,  I sound pathetic.

I felt warm water dropping on my shoulders.
Nick sniffed his nose but couldn’t hide his sob. "I was never pretending
with you. Never." I felt more warm tear drops falling on me. I never knew
Nick could cry. I didn’t think he knew how to react to his emotions like that.

"Then why did you do all that stuff to
me? Why did you leave me and go out and fuck every woman you saw? Why did you
spend so many nights out of our home? Why didn’t you stop me when I moved
away?" I was crying so hard now I could barely say the words I needed to
say so badly. "Why would you only show me affection when there was an
audience? What was I supposed to think Nick? That getting all dressed up every
two months for an awards show or movie premiere or album release party was the
way we said ‘I love you’?"

"I’m sorry." I barely even heard him
say it. "I’m sorry, Layla. I... I guess I just... I’ve been in this
lifestyle for so long and it’s made me hard on the outside, you now? I stopped
trusting people. Because everyone I met wanted me for something. Every girl I
dated only wanted me because I as the famous Nick Hudson. Anytime a friend
called up out of the blue it was because he wanted to borrow money or get some
kind of hook up from me. No one wanted me for me. And then you came along. You
came into my life and you made me believe again. You made me believe that there
was someone in the world who wanted me for who I really am. Just regular old
Nick Hudson. Not the celebrity Nick Hudson. Just me. No matter how much money I
had or how much music I sold. And I found it in you. I knew right from the
moment I met you that if I were ever stupid enough to let you go I would lose
my soul mate. I would lose the one person in my life that needed me as a man,
as a best friend, as a lover and as a mate ‘til death do us part. And I can’t
let you go. Because then it wouldn’t matter about how much I have. You’re all
that I have and without you, Layla, I have nothing. So you see I can’t let you
go."

"But why," I whispered,
"Why? If I am that one person for you, why aren’t you faithful to
me?"

"Because I was scared. I was scared
that if I held you too close you’d think I was trying to suffocate you. And
instead I held you too far away and made you believe I don’t love you."

"Say it again. Please."

"I love you Layla Hudson. I’ve always
loved you. And I always will love you. Please let me try again. Give me another
chance to be the kind of husband you deserve. And I’ll never break your heart
again."