Waiting for Perfect (21 page)

When I reach our
classroom, she is already sitting in her seat.
 
She looks up and smiles as I walk to my desk.

“Hey, Nick,” she
says happily.
 
The sound of her
voice is music.
 
She smiles for me,
and I wonder if it is genuine or fake. Sometimes she smiles to make everyone
else think she’s okay.
 
I know
she’s pretending.
 
Usually when I
see her, she looks sad.
 
There are
dark circles under her eyes like she’s not getting enough sleep.
 
She’s probably having nightmares about
what happened with Ryan.
 

“Hi,” I nod and
take my seat next to hers.
 
I don’t
know what to say.
 
Raj told me to
be bold and tell her how I feel, but there’s no way I’m prepared to do
that.
 
Instead, I ignore her,
pulling out my textbook and facing the teacher.

Smooth, Nick.
 
Real smooth
.

We spend the class learning
chapter four and working on the Max Planck project.
 
Without a word, Kendra’s frustration about this assignment
is exuding from her in hefty sighs and a constant frown.
 

I lean toward her
and whisper, “Don’t worry, Kendra.
 
We’ll study this at the library.
 
You’ll be fine.”
 
I give her
a reassuring smile.

She sighs.
 
“Thanks, Nick.
 
I hate this.”

“I know,” I
say.
 
She’s cute when she’s
frustrated.

When class is over,
she walks with me to the door.
 
“I’ll see you in about forty-five minutes,” she says.

“Yeah, see you
then.”
 
I’m nervous.
 
It’s difficult to even talk to her
right now.

“Thanks for helping
me.
 
Enjoy Spanish.”
 
She gives me a heart-stopping smile,
her pink lips accentuating her bright, hazel eyes.

I smile back and
head toward class, anticipating the alone time with her and wondering how the
hell I’m going to win her heart.

SEBASTIAN

I’m leaning against
Kendra’s blue Mercedes.
 
I find it
interesting that she has a car that’s blue, my favorite color.
 
I know I’ll be late to my sixth period
class, but I need to ask her if she’ll be at the gym tonight.
 
I could have texted, but hell, I just
wanted to see her face.
 
I’ve been thinking
about her since yesterday.

I still can’t
believe she agreed to ditch with me.
 
She seems so innocent.
 
I think she was scared to death.
 
But she trusted me yesterday, and that makes me feel
amazing.

I wanted to kiss
her.
 
When we were at the Wishing
Wall, I almost did.
 
But Kendra
isn’t like most girls.
 
I actually
respect her.
 
And I know she
deserves better than an asshole like me.

I just want to make
her smile.
 
Even if she’s too
smart, too innocent, and too good for me, I still want to make her happy.
 
That seems to be my life’s mission
lately.
 
I want her to get on with
her life and forget about the shit that happened with Morgan.
 
She’s a senior in high school, for
God’s sake.
 
She should be going to
parties and hanging out with friends and having a blast – not being
ridiculed and made fun of by the entire student population.

I straighten up as she
walks toward me.
 
When she sees me,
her eyes lock on mine, and a grin spreads across her face.

“Hey!” she calls,
closing in on me.
 
She looks incredible
in her white cutoff shorts and pink top.
 
Her skin is tan, and her caramel-colored hair is flowing down over her
perfect breasts.

“Hi,” I say, trying
like mad not to stare at said perfect breasts.

“Aren’t you
supposed to be in class?
 
You’re
going to get in trouble.”
 
She is probably
wondering why I’m standing at her car.

“I know.
 
I was just wondering if I’ll see you
tonight at the gym?”
 
I try not to
sound too hopeful, but at the same time, wanting her to know I’m thinking about
her.
 
I know girls like that.

She seems to enjoy
being thought of.
 
Her smile
widens.
 
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” she
says, unlocking her car.

I hold the door
open for her, and she climbs in gracefully.
 
“Great,” I say.
 
“Maybe I’ll see you there.”

“
Maybe
?” she asks.
 
When I give her a confused look, she
continues.
 
“It’s just that you
waited here to ask me if I’m coming to the gym, and then you say
maybe
you’ll see me there?”

I’m not used to
committing to anything, but her calling me out on it throws me off.
 
“You
will
see me there.
 
I
will
be there.
 
With you.”
 
Now
I’m rambling and feeling like an ass, but I try to stay cool.
 
“Say… seven?”

She smiles and
reaches for her door handle.
 
“Okay, Sebastian.
 
I’ll see
you then.
 
Now get to class!”
 
She closes the door and starts her car.

As she’s pulling
away, I watch her through her window.
 
She’s fiddling with her radio, and her hair is blowing back from her air
conditioning.
 
Maybe I can teach
her more boxing moves.
 
I need to
teach her something that allows me to touch her and be close to her and smell
her strawberry lotion.

“Sebastian!”
 
A high-pitched voice pulls me from my thoughts
of Kendra.

I look across the
parking lot and see Megan waving at me.
 
She’s dressed in a skimpy sundress and strappy sandals.
 
Her blonde hair is bouncing down her
back, and she’s wearing a big, lip-glossed smile.

“Hi, Megan,” I say
as she nears me.
 
This is the first
time she’s talked to me since I ditched her at Corky’s.
 
I guess she’s over it.

She stands next to
me and leans her head against my shoulder.
 
“Hey, listen, I was thinking.
 
The homecoming dance is in a couple weeks.
 
I thought maybe we could go together.
 
We would look great together,
Sebastian.”
 
She turns her head up
to look at me and then musses up my hair.
 
“You with your Latin good looks, and me with my… well, me.”

I don’t answer
right away.
 
I haven’t even thought
about going to the dance.

“Come on,
Sebastian.
 
What do you say?”
 
When I still don’t say a word, she
continues, “I’ve turned down three people already because I want to go with you.”
 
She rises on her tiptoes and whispers
in my ear, “Only you.”

Her tits are
pressing up against my chest.
 
I
try to train my eyes straight ahead, but I fail.
 
That low-cut sundress is revealing everything as she presses
into me, and I glance down quickly to steal a look at her cleavage.
 
She notices me looking and smiles
seductively.

God help me
.

Suddenly, her lips
are on my neck, sucking and kissing softly.
 
It’s been a few weeks since I had a girl’s lips on me, and it
feels fantastic.
 
Moments like
these are when I feel free.
 
I
don’t have to think about anything.
 
I don’t have to fake a smile or act any certain way.
 
I don’t have to pretend.
 
I’m comfortable with the pleasure of
physical contact, the bliss of sexual arousal.
 
This is me.
 
This is what I’m good at.
 
This is Sebastian Veneto.

My body reacts
without thinking.
 
My hands move to
her waist, and I grip her body close to mine.
 
Her legs part.
 
She straddles my knee and rubs herself against my leg.
 
My breathing picks up.
 
I love this feeling.
 
Knowing she wants me, knowing she can’t
keep her hands off of me.
 
I feel
in control.

Her hungry mouth is
frantic, kissing up my neck and toward my ear.
 
Students are driving by us to leave campus.
 
I know this shouldn’t be happening with
all these eyes around us.
 
I grip a
fistful of her golden locks and force her head away from me so I can see her
face.

Exasperated, I tell
her, “Christ, Megan.
 
You’re
killing me.”
 
Her grin only widens,
as if killing me is exactly what she’s trying to do.

I consider crushing
her lips with mine just because she wants it so badly.
 
I imagine forcing my tongue into her
mouth and watching her melt.
 
I’ve
seen what I can do to a woman, and I know Megan would be the same as all the
others.

But that thought
stops me cold.

All the others.
 
Megan Polk is just like all the
others.
 
She is nothing
special.
 
She is like all the other
girls who have thrown themselves at me.
 
Easy.
 
Cheap.
 
Meaningless.

Now, the thought of
kissing Megan kills my mood.
 
Watching
her sly grin, I realize how wrong this is.
 
This is Megan.
 
This is not the girl I want to be kissing.

There’s another
girl on my mind.
 
A girl that is
complex and smart.
 
A girl that respects
herself too much to throw herself at a guy like me.
 
That
is the girl
that has captivated me.
 
That
is the girl I want to be kissing.
 
That
is the angel that will save me.

Megan senses my
hesitation, and before I can free myself of her, she leans in and slams her
kiss against my lips.
 
She runs her
hands up into my hair and pulls it tight, moving her lips against mine
desperately.
 
I think about giving
into her.
 
I think about kissing
her back – giving her what she wants – but I don’t feel anything
except lust, and right now, that’s just not enough.

I turn my head from
her, releasing myself from her kiss.
 
She is still gripping my hair and is trying to pull me to her lips
again.
 
When I reach up to remove
her hands, I notice a flash of blue in the lower parking lot.
 
It’s Kendra’s Mercedes.
 
My heart sinks.
 
Kendra hadn’t been leaving campus
earlier.
 
She had just been moving
her car closer to the school building.
 

Over Megan’s
shoulder, I can see Kendra staring at us.
 
The scowl on her face reveals pure disgust.
 
I don’t blame her.
 
Two minutes ago I was asking her to meet me at the gym tonight, and here
I am making out with her friend in the parking lot.
 
I’m sickened with myself.
 
I push Megan away from me.

She steps back, nearly
tripping.
 
“What the hell,
Sebastian?” she asks, annoyed.

I don’t even look
at her.
 
I’m running toward the lower
parking lot, toward the Benz, toward the only girl that’s ever made feel
anything real.

When she sees me
coming, Kendra hurries toward the school, clutching her notebook tightly to her
chest.
 
I run faster.

“Kendra!
 
Please slow down,” I beg.
 
She ignores me and keeps moving, never
looking in my direction.

I reach out and
grab her arm.
 
“Kendra!”

She stops abruptly
and spins around to face me.

“Kendra, I’m sorry.
 
It isn’t what you think.
 
Megan was just asking me …”

“Sebastian,
stop!”
 
Her eyes are sad, but she
is trying hard to act normal.
 
It
kills me to know I put that look on her face.

“You don’t have to
explain anything to me,” she continues.
 
“You and Megan are great together.
 
I mean, look at you both.”
 
Her eyes drop to my shoes and then climb their way to my face.
 
She forces a laugh that sounds anything
but amused.
 
Then, in a tone of
repulsion that actually hurts my soul, she mutters, “You’re perfect for each other.”

That one sentence
destroys me.
 
Even though I’ve
never heard her say one mean word about Megan, I know exactly how Kendra feels
about her.
 
And now she’s just put
me on the same level with a friend that she despises.

She turns around to
start walking, but I catch up with her quickly.
 
I have to set her straight.
 
I have to.
 
“Megan and I are not together!” I shout.
 
When she ignores me and keeps walking, I feel hopeless.
 
I stop and watch her go.
 
“Kendra, please!
 
I’m sorry!”

She turns around
and is walking backward, still trying to get away from me as she speaks.
 
“Sebastian, you’re free to date whoever
you want.
 
It’s not like you and I
could ever be together.
 
You’re
better off with Megan.”
 
She spins
and storms off before I can get in another word.

Watching her leave,
I feel sick to my stomach.
 
She’s
the one I want.
 

And she wants
nothing to do with me.