Waiting for Him (Waiting Series Book 3) (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Shelby

     
When I woke up this morning, I felt like death warmed over. It was all I could do to drag my ass out of bed and into the bathroom. When I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, I literally gasped out loud. My eyes were swollen so much from all the crying I did, that they appeared to be half of their normal size. My hair was a massive mountain of tangles I wasn’t ready to conquer so I threw it up in a bun on top of my head. Splashing cold water on my face didn’t help with the swelling at all, but it did feel soothing.

      I’m sitting in a ball on my couch, still in my pajamas when Garrett walks in with Liam. I finally broke down and gave Garrett his own key. I know he’d never abuse the privilege of having it and now if he needs something he can just come grab it without involving me.

      “Hey Liam, it’s your mommy,” Garrett says as he closes the door. Liam sees me and he starts making his little squealy happy noises. No matter what a shit night I had, seeing his face wipes all of that away. I hold my arms up and wait for Garrett to hand him to me.

      “Hi, baby boy,” I say as I shower his face with kisses. “I missed you so much. Were you a good boy for your daddy?”

      “He was great. He actually slept from eight last night until six this morning.”

      “Yay, what a big boy you are.” I hug his warm little body close and breathe in the delicious baby scent of his hair.
This is what matters.
Everything else seems so insignificant when he’s in my arms. The world disappears and we’re in our own little bubble. I need to use this moment as a reminder that I don’t need or want anyone else in my life.

      “He’s ready to go down for his nap. I fed him his bottle and changed him right before we left and he was looking pretty drowsy on the ride. It’s a good thing we live so close to each other, or he would have been out like a light.” He says with a smile.

      “Okay, let me put him in his crib quick.” As I walk with Liam in my arms, I think about what a great father Garrett is. He has him all ready to go down for his nap and that’s such a huge help for me. Especially today, when I’m feeling so out of sorts.

      I kiss Liam on his nose and place him on his back. As I cover him up with his blanket, he looks up at me and the expression in his eyes is pure Garrett.

      “I love you my little bugaboo.”

      As I return to the living room, I find Garrett watching some pregame football shows. I sit down next to him and rest my head back. I wish it were only Saturday. I’m not ready to go to work tomorrow.

      “How was your night?” He asks, not taking his eyes from the television.

      “It was fine,” I say, not sure if I want to tell him what happened or not. I know we’re friends, but wouldn’t that be too weird? Talking about your current sex life with your ex-lover...hmm...that might be a case of too much info.

      “What’s wrong? I know you better than you know yourself, so don’t try to deny that anything’s bothering you.” He angles his upper body to face me and I sit up straight.

      “I think it might be weird for you and me talk about this.” I bite on my lower lip as I think about whether or not I want to have this conversation with him.

      “Shelby, we’re friends and friends are there for each other. Let me help you feel better about whatever’s on your mind.”

      “Okay, but it might be weird, so don’t say I didn’t warn you. I went over to Jake’s last night for dinner.”
      “Jake, Hailey’s brother?” He interrupts.

      “Yes, the one and the same. Anyway, we’ve been texting and talking a lot. We used to be really great friends before Jeff, and I got together, but not so much during our relationship because they didn’t like each other. Jake is very flirtatious and he’s always joked around about wanting to sleep with me. I’ve always refused and told him it would never happen because he’s Hailey’s brother. Recently, he’s kissed me a couple of times and then last night I ended up sleeping in his bed with him. He was going to sleep on the couch and I asked him to stay.” I pause here not knowing how to say the rest. I cover my face with my hands.

      “We woke up in the middle of the night and ended up masturbating in front of each other,” I mumble.

      “What? I couldn’t hear what you said. Uncover your face and tell me like a big girl.” I drop my hands, but keep my eyes lowered, knowing that my face is every shade of red known to mankind. I take a deep breath and just blurt it out.

      “In the middle of the night, we masturbated in front of each other.” I glance over at Garrett, and his mouth is hanging open. I guess I’ve shocked him.

      “What’s the matter? You don’t have anything to say to what I just told you,
friend?”

      “Wow, I guess I wasn’t expecting you to say that, but if it’s what you both wanted then what’s the problem?”

      “I freaked out right after and ran out of his house without saying a single word to him and now I’m worried my reaction may have hurt him.”

      “I’m sure that’s not the first time you’ve run from someone’s bedroom.” He says drolly, referring to when I did something similar to him when he and I were first dating.

“So why don’t you call him and apologize?” I shake my head.

      “It’s not that easy. He wants to have a sex only relationship with me and I’ve been trying to focus on myself and not needing a man in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love having you in my life, but I’m talking about relying on a man romantically. It feels good to be my own woman and be a mother to Liam.”

      “Why would getting involved with someone have to change any of that?” He asks, and I can’t think of any concrete reason.

      “I think the real reason you reacted the way you did is because he made you
feel
...and that’s scary for you. You want to keep him in the older brother of my best friend compartment and that’s not the way life works Shelby. Caring about someone is a wonderful thing. I know you’ve been hurt by people you’ve cared for, but would you be willing to change any of your past if you knew you might not end up as Liam’s mom? Everything that’s happened has brought you to this point.”

      “No, I wouldn’t change a thing,” I answer without hesitation.

      “Then stop living with regret and decide to be happy. Whatever you have to do to find happiness, you should. I have a boatload of regrets when it comes to our past, but if I focus on them, I won’t even want to get out of bed each day. I have to stay positive about my future. I know that you and I will never be more than we are right now and I’m fine with that. It’s taken some time, but I think I’m ready to move on and start dating.”

      “Speaking of that, I noticed you checking out Sloane the other day when you thought no one was watching.” I cross my arms over my chest and smirk at him. He flushes slightly red and runs his fingers through his caramel colored hair.

“So what’s up with that? Do you like her?” I prompt.

      “I think she’s beautiful and sweet, but I don’t really know much about her. I know you guys are good friends and I don’t want to make things awkward by asking her out. There’s also the fact that she works for me.” I pat him on his knee before replying.

      “I think you should ask her out. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and you guys would be perfect for each other. Eww, on second thought, the two of you together might be too much perfection for me to take.” He whacks me with one of my throw pillows and I giggle.

“Seriously, though, don’t worry about it bothering me because it doesn’t.”

                 ***

      When Monday dawns, I’m not prepared to get up and face the day. I want to stay in my bed and hide away from the rest of the world, especially Jake Morse. He called me four times yesterday and sent me numerous texts, but I ignored them all. I know he’s not going to sit back and wait for me to be ready to contact him. He’s way too controlling to allow that. When Jake wants something he goes after it and I know that I’m not ready to deal with seeing him again. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I’m not going to let him bulldoze me either. He may or may not be pissed at me after the way I left so abruptly, but it is what it is. I did what I had to do at that moment.

      My first half of the school day passed by so slowly I didn’t think the lunch break would ever come. By the time, I get to sit down next to Max I’m ready to throw in the towel.

      “What’s the matter luvie? Are you having a bad day?” He asks sympathetically.

      “More like a bad year,” I say blowing my bangs out of my face. “Even my hair looks like shit today.” Max tips his head to the side as he looks at me.

      “You are looking a little rough around the edges today.” He taps his lip with his finger as he continues to study me.

“I think I know what you need.” I hold up my finger to pause him from continuing on.

      “Just be warned, if you say a good fuck, I’m going to punch you in the face.” He snorts and shakes his head.

      “I wasn’t going to say that, but now that you mention it…” He trails off as he sees my death glare.

“What I was going to say is you need a makeover. I’m thinking the works...new hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure, and clothes to highlight those new curves of yours.” He waggles his eyebrows at me and I burst out laughing.

“What?” He questions.

      “Don’t do that with your eyebrows ever again. They’re too well-groomed, and it makes it look like two caterpillars crawling across your face.” He snorts again.

      “So what do you think of my makeover idea?” Max takes a bite of his sandwich as he waits for my reply. I guess I could use a change. I’ve been feeling pretty frumpy lately. Maybe it would perk me up a little. It would be nice to spend a whole day with Max too. The last time we went shopping we had a lot of fun.

      “Let’s do it.”

***

      Garrett agreed to pick Liam up earlier than usual on Saturday so Max can have me for the whole day. Hailey’s going to meet us out for drinks tonight. I figure I may never look this good again, so I might as well go out and be seen. We’re only going to J.J.’s, but it will be fun just the same.

      Max drives me to the salon where he gets his hair done. It’s on Newbury Street, and it’s extremely high end. I’m throwing caution to the wind today and letting go of all my worries. I’m going to spend lots of money and deal with the fallout later. I’m sure when I open my credit card bill I’m going to want to cry, but I’ll deal with it when it happens.

      We begin our day of pampering with a couple’s facial. I find it so ironic that any guy I’ve ever been involved with wouldn’t be caught dead having any kind of facial. I’m thankful that I have Max to do these things with. Once every blackhead has been squeezed from my face, my eyebrows get waxed. I’m sure my face must look like a red and blotchy mess now. Good thing we’re not going out until tonight. Next, on our agenda are manicures and pedicures. We get to sit at nail tech stations that are side by side so Max can keep me occupied with tales of his misspent youth. He was a bit of a wild child as a teenager.

      I let Max choose my polish and he picks a vampy red color for my fingers and toes since Christmas is only a couple weeks away.
God, that’s depressing to think about. Last year at this time Jeff and I were starting to plan our wedding and we were just getting used to the idea of having a child.

      I’m supposed to go to my father’s house for Christmas, but I don’t really feel like it. Maybe Liam and I will stay home and have a nice quiet time. Garrett can come over for a bit if he wants, but I’m not really in the mood to be around anyone else. Maybe I’ll become a hermit and then I won’t have to deal with other people. Liam and I would be fine alone. I could have groceries delivered and I could spend each day quietly reading books by my favorite authors. Hmm, not a bad idea, if only money weren’t a necessity.

      It’s time for my hair to get done and I’m giving the stylist carte blanche. His name is Louis, and he’s a friend of Max’s. He went crazy when he saw the long length of my hair.

      “Oh. My. God. Your hair is so long and luscious. Is this virgin hair?” I nod my head. “You’ve never colored it?” I shake my head. “Are you sure you want to cut it?”

      “Yes, I’m sure. I need a change.”

      “What she really needs is to get fucked with a big d, but we can talk about that when she’s not here,” Max mutters under his breath to Louis. I punch him in the arm before he can move away.

      “Who doesn’t need that?” Louis replies.
“Okay doll face, I’m going to turn you around so you can’t see what I’m doing. I want you to be surprised by the results.”

      He begins wrapping sections of my hair in aluminum foil and I’m a little fearful for what color my hair is going to end up being. It takes him about thirty minutes to cover my entire head in this foil and I’m pretty sure at this point I might be interfering with cable television signals all over the city. Louis moves me to a seat under a dryer and tells me it will make my color process faster. I pull out my kindle and get lost in a good book while Max gets his hair cut.