Unbreakable (2 page)

Then I turned to examine the painting of Ethan once more. Warmth for him filled me. We’d be back in Manhattan for New Year's and I wanted to spend it with him and Elaine. By then, Kate and I would be married and looking forward to the year as newlyweds.

I almost had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t caught in some dream, only to wake up only to find I’d been asleep and the wonderful life I was leading was nothing but a figment of my imagination.

Then I went to the kitchen and reheated the leftover spaghetti.

“So tell me about your case,” Kate said while we served our plates. “I just checked my cell and saw that you messaged me. Sorry I didn’t reply but my phone was in my bag in the living room and I must not have heard the alert.”

I poured a glass of red wine for us, and thought about my case. I described the patient and the diagnosis.

“It was pretty straight-forward and I really didn’t need to consult,” I said.

“Was Michael busy?” Kate asked, twirling her fork in her pasta. “I thought he was handling evenings in the ER this week.”

I nodded and took a sip. “He was in the OR with an emergency case. Sam had a patient and asked me to consult.”

Kate’s fork stopped twirling in the pasta for only a second or two, then resumed. She nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Sam, hmm?” she said finally, taking a mouthful of pasta and chewing without meeting my eyes.

“Yes,” I said and pushed my bread into my sauce then took a bite. “I was Michael’s backup. I had no choice but to consult.”

“I understand,” Kate said, her voice light. She smiled. “You want to do pediatric neurosurgery. It’s perfectly natural you’d want to consult on her case.”

I reached out and took her hand. “I was pissed that she asked me. It was a really simple case. She didn’t need my advice.”

“She just wanted to have you around,” Kate said and looked at me through narrow eyes. She sighed dramatically. “I guess that’s the price I’ll pay for having such a hot fiancé… Everywhere you go, the nurses and female docs will be drooling over you.”

I laughed out loud at that. Then I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “There’s only one woman I want drooling over me.”

She met my eyes and smiled. “Never doubt that I do.”

I grinned. “I bet you were too busy today to even think of me.”

She shook her head. “I pined away for you, and had to console myself with my art…”

“It’s really good, Kate. I mean it. Elaine will love it.”

“I hope so.”

We finished our meal, talking about the day, the week and how close we were to leaving. In less than twenty days, our flight would take us out of Nairobi and Africa and to a connecting flight in Copenhagen, before flying across the Atlantic to Manhattan.

Both of us would be busy with work soon after we returned home. My fellowship at NYU started in September, and Kate was registered in her MA program and would work on her thesis. We had to get back so we had some time to get settled into our place. With only a few weeks to go before our flights, there was so much to do, I felt as if I needed another month.

We’d be exceptionally busy, with just enough time to be settled in Manhattan before it all began. Plus, we had a date for our wedding and would be busy organizing that. Both of us wanted a small wedding at Ethan and Elaine’s with just a few friends and family in attendance. Of course, I didn’t really have family with the exception of my foster family, the O’Rileys and as for friends it would be them and my band mates and their spouses. Dave Mills. I invited Michael, but he wasn’t sure if he and Claire could make it. Apparently, Claire was busy with some art exhibition…

After we cleaned up the plates from dinner, we sat on the patio and watched the stars for a while.

“I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted,” I said and squeezed Kate’s hand.

“You go to bed,” Kate said, her voice light but I could hear a touch of something in her tone.

“Come here,” I said and pulled her off her chair and onto my lap. She slipped her arms around my neck and we sat like that for a while, enjoying each other while listening to the sounds of the night.

“I want you in bed with me,” I said. “I like falling asleep with my arms around you.”

“My mind’s still too wide awake to sleep now. You go ahead and I’ll be there in a while. You need your sleep.”

I smiled and brushed hair off her cheek. “If you were a man, I’d say you should have sex to help you sleep but an orgasm seems to wake women up, so that won’t help.”

Kate laughed at that and leaned her forehead against mine. “You know I leave all that up to you,” she said softly. “Whatever you want. Whatever you need.”

“I want your happiness. I want your fulfillment.”

“You have it.” Then she kissed me, her kiss soft and warm. It didn’t ask anything of me. Instead, it was a sign of love and affection. My mind said I should make love to her, but my body said sleep.

My body won out. Thirteen hours of work every day for the past six weeks was grueling and had sapped me of any extra energy. I needed to sleep.

“I’ll leave you to do whatever it is you artist-types do to wind down,” I said and yawned. “I have to go to sleep. Early morning again tomorrow.”

“I know,” she said and got up, waiting while I stood and took her in my arms. “I’m going to check my emails and tidy up in my studio. I won’t be too much longer.”

We parted at the door, Kate going to her studio and me to the bedroom. After brushing my teeth and stripping off my clothes, I crept into bed and slipped under the sheets. I would have liked to have Kate there with me so I could snuggle up against her as usual, but I understood how hard it was to come down after a day totally absorbed in her art.

It made me exceedingly satisfied to see her so busy with her paintings. I knew it was what she really enjoyed doing, and so I felt as if she was finally discovering what she really wanted.

To paint.

To be my wife.

I couldn’t be happier about both.

I turned over and reached out my hand to find cool bare sheets instead of the soft warm flesh of my beloved, but despite going to bed alone, I felt a contentment I had never felt before. I felt as if my life was finally coming together. I received a fellowship to specialize in pediatric neurosurgery back at NYU, under the guidance of Fred Parker who was one of the top specialists in the field in the Northeast. I was going to be married to Kate, a woman who embodied everything I ever wanted in a partner and lover. I closed my eyes and drifted off, the low sweet strains of Debussy in the background lulling me to sleep.

CHAPTER TWO

Kate

I left Drake and went to my studio to finish up what I was working on when he arrived home. I should have gone to bed with him, because he liked to snuggle before he fell asleep, but my mind was in a state of euphoria after the day spent painting. It was like a drug, that state I went into when completely absorbed in a work. Time seemed to stand still, and the world fell away. All that existed was the canvas, the brushes, the paints and the idea of what I wanted to accomplish.

Minutes turned to hours, and before I knew it, the day had gone.

When Drake arrived home, I was shocked to see that it was already nine at night. I’d skipped breakfast and shoved a turkey sandwich down my throat for lunch but had nothing else but coffee for the entire day. The painting was going very well. Better than I expected. It really looked like my father and I got a choky feeling in my throat when I looked at it from a distance.

The photograph I used had been taken before his stroke when he still looked like himself—stocky, vigorous, with eagle-sharp eyes and a beak of a nose. He would be fearsome to those who came before him in court. I always thought he was an old grouch. The “Drill Sergeant” as Heath and I called him when we were teens.

Now, I knew him better than ever, and it was because I saw him through Drake’s eyes. I saw him for the compassionate and thoughtful man who took Drake under his wing when Drake’s father died.

Drake helped me to see how lucky I was to have a father like him—a father who was present at family dinners on a regular basis, and involved in our daily lives. My father was always on top of things like homework and interests, school activities and friends.

Drake had missed out on a family like mine. Now, he wanted to be the kind of husband my father was to my mother when I was growing up. Eventually, he wanted to be the kind of father to our children that my father had been to me.

I still felt a thrill of excitement when I thought about marrying Drake. Even though we’d been living together for six months, I felt giddy when he came home after a long day at the hospital. He made my pulse race.

But at that moment, I couldn’t sleep. Instead, I puttered around my studio, screwing lids back on tubes of acrylic paint, washing brushes in the en-suite bathroom sink. Once satisfied, I went to the kitchen and rustled around in the cupboard in search of my decaf chai tea. I wanted to sit down before I went to bed and read over my emails, make sure I didn’t miss anything important from Elaine or my father.

After the kettle boiled, I took my steaming mug and went to my desk in Drake’s office and sat down, legs crossed, and checked my mail.

Most of it was spam, but there were a few of note. One from the registrar at Columbia with more information on important dates for returning graduate students. Another was from Elaine with an update on how my father was doing with his rehab.

One caught my eye and sent a shock through me.

It was from Dawn.

I chewed my bottom lip and hesitated before opening it. Did I want to read a letter from her at this time of night? If it upset me, I might not be able to fall asleep and it was already pretty late.

My finger hovered over the trackpad, and then I clicked on the email icon.

Her letter popped open and I read, holding my breath in hopes it wasn’t a lecture.

Hi, Kate…

Hope this finds you well. I hear from Dave Mills that you’re coming back in a few weeks and will be going to Columbia to work on your MA. I am so glad to hear that!

You might be wondering why I was talking to Dave Mills. Well, it’s a long story but I went to one of your dad’s Doctors Without Borders fundraisers and Dave was there. We got to talking and that’s how I heard.

I’m so glad that you are moving forward with grad school, Kate. I was afraid you would give it all up.

When you get back, I hope we can put the past behind us and get together, maybe be friends once more. I miss you so much, you wouldn’t believe. It’s like there’s this great big hole in my heart where you used to be.

I’m willing to try if you are.

XOXOXO,

Dawn

As angry as I was with Dawn for trying to break us up, threatening to tell my father about Drake’s Dom tendencies, and for searching Drake’s past for dirt, I felt the same as her. She and I had been friends for so long, I couldn’t imagine my life without her somewhere in it. I might have to accept that we would never be friends again, but I could still feel sad about it.

I didn’t think we could ever go back to the way we were, because Dawn did too many things that crossed the line, but at least we could be civil. I wouldn’t be inviting her to be maid of honor at the wedding or anything, but a détente would be preferable to outright animosity.

My mother always said to me that it was important for a woman to keep her female friends close even after marriage and children because no one else understands who you are quite the same way. Other than Dawn, I really didn’t have any close female friends and I felt bad about losing her. It would mean that Drake was all I had. Then I realized that we might move away from Manhattan at some point and I would only have Drake regardless of what happened with Dawn. That didn’t scare me in the least because he was always fun and interesting and enjoyable to be with, no matter what we were doing.

Still, a woman without friends outside of her relationship could become lonely. I decided I would put myself out there and make a point of meeting other people because no matter where we lived, Drake would always be busy with his surgery and his band, the corporation and the foundation. I didn’t want him to give those things up because they made him the man he was and I loved that man.

Maybe, as the years went by, and as Dawn came to realize what a wonderful person Drake was, and how good a husband and father, she’d ask for forgiveness instead of just asking for tolerance.

I wasn’t sure Drake would want me to forgive her even if she were truly repentant. Although people do make mistakes, bad judgments and are flawed, what Dawn did crossed the line. Still, I was so torn. I was flawed and had made mistakes before. Could I find it in my heart to forgive her?

Whether to forgive Dawn was the least of my worries and I didn’t bother to respond to her email. I didn’t need that at the moment. I needed something to help me go to sleep and thinking about Dawn would only delay sleep, not speed it on.

Instead of fretting about Dawn, I sipped my chai tea and read over Elaine’s and my father’s Facebook feed, soaking up the pictures and posts that documented their lives back in Manhattan.

As much as I loved Kenya and Nairobi, and as much as I enjoyed our house and the art class, I missed Manhattan and my family. It would be so great to go back, start work on the 8
^th
Avenue apartment to get it in shape and dig in to my MA thesis research.

I’d have to meet with my thesis advisor and work out a new thesis topic, but I was sure that we’d agree on what approach to take. Then, I’d start to do the legwork, and search out appropriate research subjects to interview. I felt a surge of excitement at the prospect of starting back at Columbia, especially now that I was determined to focus on art instead of politics.