Tortured Beginning (28 page)

I wake in a hospital bed, my head pounding. I look around to see Nico, sitting in a chair next to the bed. He is holding my hand, rubbing the top of mine with his thumb.  I squeeze his hand and he looks up at me.

He smiles at me, as he stands up. I try to smile, and stop when it hurts. He puts his hand on my face, and gently rubs.

"Don't try, baby."

I nod, and see tears come to his eyes. He bends down and kisses my forehead.

"I was so scared, when I got the call."

I try to talk, but nothing comes out. I feel like my throat is sandpaper. I mouth water, to him. He grabs a white styrofoam glass and puts the straw to my lips. I take small sips, my throat feeling better.

"Thanks," I whisper.

He sits next to me on the bed, so that I don't have to crank my neck to see him. I can only imagine how I look. I wish he didn't see me this way. I never wanted him to look at me, with all that anguish in his eyes.

I can only imagine what memories he is having.

I reach up and touch his face, "I'm not your mother. There was nothing you could do."

He looks into my eyes, with tears running down his face. He puts his head on my chest, and I bury my hands in his hair. I feel tears, streaming down my face.

He grabs my hand from his hair, and kisses the palm.

"I love you," he whispers to me.

Before I can answer him, a nurse walks in. Nico sits up and whips face with his sleeve, hoping nobody notices.

She walks up to me with a sweet smile on her face. As she is checking my vitals, Nico walks to the foot of the bed.

"The doctor will be in here shortly," the nurse says to me, as she squeezes my arm gently.

I look up to see Trevan walk in, with the doctor behind him. I try to smile at him.

"Hey, your awake," he says, coming to the side of the bed. He grabs my hand and gently squeezes it.

He looks over to see Nico, and drops it. They both look at each other, and look from one to the other. Many emotions crossing each others faces, and then they both nod.

The doctor walks to side of the bed and Trevan moves out of the way.

"Hello, young lady. I'm Dr. Gideon, I'm glad to see you awake. How're you feeling?"

"Very sore."

"Well that's understandable. You had a large cut on your head, and lost a lot of blood. We got you all fixed up. But I wanted to let you know that the baby is doing great," he smiles gently at me.

I hear the words and I'm trying to process what he said to me.

"Baby? Why are you telling me about a baby?" I ask. I look from the doctor, to Nico, to Trevan waiting for an answer. They all look as shocked as I must look, except for the doctor.

He looks at me confused, "Did you not know you were pregnant?" I must have looked very confused, "Well I take that as no. Yes you are about six to eight weeks pregnant."

"What?" I whisper.

My mind is going a million miles a minute. I'm counting in my head to think when that was, when it hits me. I look up to Nico, then Trevan. From the look on their faces, they figured it out as well.

"Are you sure?" I hear Trevan ask the doctor.

"Yes. We did an ultrasound, and everything looks good." The doctor turns back to me, putting his hand on my arm. "You rest now."

I watch him walk out of the room. I close my eyes, and take deep breathes, trying to calm myself. I open my eyes to see Nico on the side of the bed, sitting with his head in his hands. Trevan is pacing the floor in front of the door.

Nico grabs my hand and looks at me, "We'll figure this out."

"What the fuck, I can't be someone's mother."

Trevan walks to the other side of the bed. He has a conflicted look on his face. I grab his hand, and he sits on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know which one of you, is even the father. What kind of person does that make me?"

"Shhh, rest now. We have time to figure it out later," Trevan says to me.

I see him look over to Nico, and I can't fight the exhaustion of it all. I drift off to sleep, thinking how I fucked things up even more.