To Whisper Her Name (28 page)

Ridley had to smile. The woman was adorable. There was no other way to describe her. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Her features soft with moonlight, her lips turned in a pouty little I’ve-got-you-now smile, there were other words that came to mind. But adorable was the safest.

Appreciating her challenge, he wasn’t about to let her off the hook easily. “That’s fairly impertinent talk, don’t you think? Coming from a woman who still needs my help climbing back up to that window.”

“Impertinent?” She laughed. “You, who speak your mind about everything, regardless of whether the other person agrees with you or not, are calling
me
impertinent?”

Knowing she had him there, he ducked his head. “Well said, Mrs. Aberdeen. All right, you win this round.”

“And your vocabulary, Mr. Cooper. First the word
modicum
. And now
impertinent
.” Her tone said she was more than enjoying the opportunity to tease him for a change. “Careful, or I’m liable to start believing I don’t know you as well as I think I do.”

He had to laugh again, though more thoughtfully this time as he considered just how true her last statement was. Wishing it wasn’t, he covered her hand on his arm. “Shall we walk?”

The day’s heat made for a sultry midnight stroll, but she didn’t seem to mind and neither did he. He was just grateful for the time alone with her, and that she’d trusted him enough to climb down. Not once had she slipped either. His mother would’ve been proud.

They strolled the grounds in comfortable silence, conversation coming easily, and he sneaked looks at her, knowing whatever this …
friendship
was between them, it had taken a definite turn. A turn that part of him welcomed, while another didn’t. When he’d first set sights on this lady, his plans had been to be at Belle Meade for only a few weeks. But now … With months stretching before him, and getting to know her as he was, his interest in her had deepened in ways he’d never expected.

She was a captivating woman and had proven to be so much more than he’d thought upon first impression. Unfortunately, he doubted her opinion of him would be the same if she knew the truth. Not that it mattered in the end. Their paths might have intersected for a few months at Belle Meade, but their futures were as distant from each other as the east was from the west.

Regardless of what her late husband had done, he was confident that, with time, she would be accepted by Nashville society again. Because of the woman she was, for starters. But also because wealthy widowers looking for wives — especially wives who were young and beautiful and still of child bearing age — had shorter, more forgiving memories than most. Dinner with General Harding’s military colleagues had proven that point.

The question in his mind was whether or not Olivia reciprocated their interest. Or would, if the right Confederate general came calling after her period of mourning.

Pushing that bothersome thought to the far edge, he chose a path that looped around the mares’ stable, choosing to focus on the present. The occasional neigh coming from the stables revealed their clandestine stroll was no secret to the horses.

“Ridley, I’ve been meaning … to ask you something.”

Noting her reluctance, he glanced her way. She wasn’t looking at him.

“Has the …
situation
with Seabird been confirmed yet?”

He smiled at her skirting around the question, understanding her hesitance now. “Not yet. Within a couple of weeks we should know for sure though. Whether or not she’s with foal.”

She nodded, and he could almost see her making a mental note of how he’d phrased it. She questioned him often while inventorying the various items in the stables, either asking what something was called or what it was used for. She had an insatiable appetite for learning and never asked the same question twice.

Her hand tightened on his arm. “What will you do if she
is
with foal?”

“I haven’t made that decision yet. But my options are pretty clear. Either I pay General Harding the stud fee that’s owed him — in full — or sign over Seabird’s foal. And her foal isn’t something I think I want to give up, if there’s any way around it.”

She kept pace with him, but he sensed something brewing in her reticence. So he gave her the silence he thought she needed.

“Ridley?”

Seconds passed.

“Yes, Olivia?” he whispered, feeling her grip on his arm tighten again. An unconscious gesture, he was sure. But telling, all the same.

“I … I wanted to let you know that I thought it was very good of you to go straight to General Harding and tell him like you did. About Seabird. To be so honest with him. Aunt Elizabeth told me you went that very day.”

He shrugged. “Well, if Seabird’s with foal, that’s hardly something I’ll be able to hide over time.”

“I know, but … other than the two of us, no one else saw the horses together that day. Another man might have tried to lie his way
out of it. Or would have tried to figure a way around having to pay the fee. But you didn’t.”

He started to respond with a simple thank-you, but that didn’t feel right — not in light of the secrets he still held from her. And not with the trace of melancholy in her voice that hinted that her comment went to something deeper. He wondered if she was referring to a man in her not-too-distant past. A man he’d read about in the newspaper even before coming to Belle Meade. Her late husband … hung for being a cheat and a traitor. They’d never discussed him. She hadn’t broached the subject. So, out of respect, he hadn’t either.

“But you were honest,” she continued. “And forthcoming. Even when you knew there would be a price to pay. And I think that’s most commendable.”

She lifted her face to him, and this time he managed a quiet thank you, grateful for the darkness as the underlying truth of what she said struck a nerve. She was paying the price of her late husband’s betrayal. But she was also paying the price that Ridley knew he himself should — and
would
— be paying, if people around here knew he’d fought for the Union.

There were moments when he wanted to tell General Harding to his face. Like earlier this evening. But he didn’t dare. Not having given Uncle Bob his word that he wouldn’t. And not when realizing that everything he stood to gain here, as well as the good he hoped to do for the former slaves — Uncle Bob included — would be swept away like yesterday’s garbage.

He glanced down at Olivia’s arm looped through his and tried to imagine her in the Colorado Territory. On the one hand, he could. The woman had a strength about her and an independent streak a mile wide, even though she did her best to restrain it — a habit of hers he was working hard to help her break. With a little encouragement, maybe even a little goading, there was no telling what this woman could do. But she’d certainly complicated things for him. In ways she wasn’t even aware of, he felt certain.

Feeling her attention, he slid his gaze her way. “What?” He kept his voice low again as they neared the house.

“I was thinking of how expensive that’s going to be … if the general makes you pay the fee. One hundred dollars!”

“I know it.” He blew out a breath. “But that’s the going rate for Jack Malone to sire a foal. So if Seabird’s in the family way, I’ll just have to
pay it. Having a thoroughbred foal like that, along with a mare like Seabird, is just too good an investment to pass up. I won’t find horseflesh anywhere near their equal in the Colorado Territory.”

Her pace slowed. “So … you
are
still planning on going west?”

Disbelief framed her question, as did disappointment, and Ridley couldn’t help but feel bad about it. But also good. Her disappointment gave him hope. “Of course I’m still going. The timing has been delayed, that’s all. You … didn’t realize that?”

She stopped beneath her window. “With all that’s happened recently, I …” She lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “I guess I figured maybe Belle Meade had grown on you.” She gave a breathy laugh. “At least a little.”

“Oh, it has, Olivia. In some very …
definite
ways.”

She nodded absently, apparently having missed his not-so-subtle insinuation. Though tempted to be bolder, he didn’t want to risk scaring her off. She could be awfully skittish at times.

“When will you leave?”

“General Harding asked me to stay through the yearling sale to help out, and I gave him my word I would.”

“Which is next June. The yearling sale, I mean.”

“That’s right. Shortly after that I’ll head west into the
wild
. How did you phrase it? Where there’re only Indians, bears, and freezing cold.”

Not responding, she seemed determined to look anywhere but at him.

“I apologize, Olivia, if I did or said anything that led you to think I’d changed my plans about Colorado.”

“No.” She waved her hand. “You don’t have to apologize. I just didn’t know, that’s all.” She reached for the lattice, but he reached for her hand and took it in his. She tried — rather half-heartedly, he thought — to pull away, but he didn’t let go.

“Look at me, Olivia,” he whispered.

She only gestured. “I need to get back up there before I’m missed.”

“You’re not going to be missed. No one knows you’re gone.”

“Still, I think it would be best if I —”

He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it —
once, twice —
like he’d wanted to do the first time they’d met. Then he lingered, appreciating how her eyes widened, as well as the softness of her skin and how tongue-tied she suddenly seemed to be.

But mostly he liked how she didn’t pull away.

“As I said at the beginning, I wasn’t originally planning on staying this long.” The underside of her wrist was smoother than silk. “Learning all that Uncle Bob had to teach me — that he’s still teaching me — has taken longer than I’d expected. But then, I don’t really mind.” He turned her hand palm up in his and laced his fingers with hers, admiring how well they fit. “Because another interest has caught my attention.”

She blinked. Her mouth slipped open the tiniest bit, and there was no question she understood what he was saying this time. Yet, as he’d feared, she gently pulled her hand back. Reluctantly, he let go, knowing better than to push her.

“I’m happy for you, Ridley.” Even in the dim light, her smile looked false. “And I know you’ll fare well out there. You’ll do well at whatever you set your mind to.”

Though she hadn’t moved physically, she felt miles away, and Ridley couldn’t decide whether he wanted to shake her or take her in his arms and kiss her good and long.

“Something you need to understand, Olivia. One night, during the war, on a hillside not far from here … I made a vow that if I got through the war alive — which, at that point, I was none too certain I would — I’d get as far away from all the bloodshed and killing as I could. And I’d go someplace where I could start life fresh again. Without all this …
tradition
and ‘this is the way things are’ hanging over me.” He recalled the painting of the Colorado Territory he’d seen years earlier. “Did you know that Colorado has mountains so high they touch the clouds? Even in the heat of summer, the snow on some of those peaks never melts.” His smile came without effort. “I want to see that. I want to breathe the air. I want to make a path where no one’s ever walked before. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but that’s what I want.”

“I can understand that,” she finally whispered, her hands knotted at her waist. “You wanting those things. But the truth is, Ridley …” She bowed her head briefly before peering back up. “I don’t want them.”

Her soft admission knifed through him.

“Unlike you, Ridley, I like it here, and —”

“Do you?” He saw her stiffen. “Because I’m not all that convinced you do.”

“Nashville is my home. I —”

“Nashville has changed, and home can be many things, Olivia.
Calling a
place
home can sometimes prove to be the loneliest home of all. Particularly when you’re treated as an outcast.”

She held his gaze, then slowly lowered her head. He couldn’t help but think of her late husband again. As dead as that man was, his memory certainly seemed to linger close at times.

She turned and put her hand on the lattice — effectively ending their conversation — and climbed up two rungs.

He took hold of her arm. “You’re not ready to go up just yet,” he said softly.

“On the contrary, Ridley. I think I am. And I don’t need your help to do it either.”

He looked pointedly at her skirt. “So I don’t guess you need me to remind you to tuck that back in first then.”

She peered down, huffed beneath her breath, then climbed down, yanking the back hem of her skirt and shoving it in the waistband — far less ladylike than before. And though he didn’t dare let on, he enjoyed every minute.

He shadowed her up the lattice, not about to let her climb on her own just yet. She glanced back at him twice, no doubt shooting him daggers in the dark, which he found equally entertaining. This woman’s stubbornness ran a mile deep and another mile wide, and he welcomed the challenge of taming every last inch of it.