Time Out (8 page)

He couldn’t
blame her. “How about that drink? Brandy sounds good, or maybe
liqueur or a glass of wine? Whatever you like.” Anything to buy him
a few more precious minutes with her.

“Maybe one more
glass of wine. I’m tired, but I doubt I can sleep.”

He walked
around to her side of the car, but she was already getting out
without his help. Not that he was surprised. She’d sent him the
same message ever since they met:
I don’t need anyone.
But
he wanted her to need someone, and he wanted that someone to be
him.

Nick led her up
the stone walkway, and the motion lights came on, illuminating the
path to the wraparound porch.

“I love how
quiet it is out here,” she whispered. She stood still and tipped
her head back to look at the stars blanketing the sky.

He watched her
taking in one of the simple pleasures he’d always enjoyed, and he
wondered if there was another side to her he had yet to see. Would
she enjoy riding bareback with him, putting the top down on his
convertible and letting the wind whip through her hair as they
blared their favorite country tunes? Would she laugh when he got a
little mud on the tires four-wheeling, or when he surprised her
with a picnic down by the lake on her birthday? Would she ooh and
aah when the Fourth of July fireworks lit up the sky, or did she
need red carpets, limousines, and flashing cameras to make her life
complete?

She tore her
attention away from the night sky long enough to look at him. “You
probably think I’m silly. You’ve grown up out here, so you’re used
to all this, but for me, it’s… different.” She reached for the hand
railing that led up the stairs.

He covered her
hand with his, refusing to lose the moment. “Different how? Good or
bad?”

“You have a
beautiful home, great friends and family…” She swallowed. “You’re
lucky, Nick. You’re doing what you love, and you love the people
you’re with.”

“Especially
right now,” he whispered, shifting his body until she was pinned.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.”

“You’re so
handsome. You make it so easy to…” She stroked his jaw. “I saw all
those women hovering around you tonight. They’ve probably known you
forever. They understand what it means to be a part of your world.
I haven’t got a clue.”

“It means
workin’ hard, playin’ hard, helpin’ the people you care about when
they need you…” He was stunned when a tear slid down her cheek.
“Hey, what’s wrong? What did I say?”

“Nothing. Your
attitude toward family.” She sniffled. “It’s just nice, that’s
all.”

“Tell me about
your family.” He wrapped his arms around her. He let her turn her
head, hiding her face in his chest.

“What family?
It was just me and my mom, and she wasn’t around much. She got
enough money from her sperm donor to send me away to school, so
that’s what she did.”

Nick noticed
she no longer referred to Manny Moore as her father. The man’s
rejection must have hurt her deeply to earn the title of
sperm
donor.
“You said she passed away recently?”

She nodded.

“Do you want to
tell me about it?”

“There’s not
much to tell,” she said quietly. “Instead of going to the doctor
before it was too late, she lived in denial. I think she was
worried her boyfriend would dump her if he found out she was sick.
Holding on to him was more important than saving her own life.”

He heard the
bitterness, but also a trace of sadness she couldn’t hide. “You
must miss her.”

“Not really. I
know that may sound harsh, but we never had a real relationship. It
was kind of ironic. I was always a burden to her, and that’s what
she became to me in the end.”

Nick swallowed
the heartache he felt on her behalf. Abandoned by her father and a
burden to her mother. It was difficult for him to even fathom.
“Were you and Brock still together when your mother passed
away?”

“Yes, but we
were already past the point of no return by the time she died. I
think we both knew it was over, but it was still tough to end
it.”

“Did you love
him?” Nick held his breath, waiting for her response. He knew
hoping she hadn’t, that she had been saving her heart for the right
man, was illogical, but he wanted her to say no.

“He was a good
man.”

“That doesn’t
answer my question.” Hearing her talk about a man she’d once
promised to spend her life with shouldn’t elicit so much anger and
frustration in Nick, but it did.

“Did I love
Brock?” She sighed. “Not the way he needed me to.”

“How did he
need you to love him?” He didn’t want Megan to love another man in
any way, and knowing how close he was to losing her to the one man
he despised more than any other was gut-wrenching.

“With my whole
heart,” she whispered, looking up at him. “I just couldn’t do it.
I’ve never loved anyone with my whole heart, not even myself.”

Her honesty
startled him. “You have so much goin’ for you, Meg. You’re
beautiful, smart, successful. You should be damn proud of yourself,
especially since you’ve had to do it all alone.”

“Real pride
doesn’t come from how much money you make or whether you get your
face on TV. It comes from all the things you talked about earlier:
being a good person, a good friend, doing work that matters.” She
rested her palm against his heart.

He tipped her
chin with his index finger. “Hey, don’t sell yourself short. You’ve
worked hard to get where you are, and you’re damn good at what you
do.”

Megan looked
him in the eye a long time before she said, “But you think I slept
my way to the top, don’t you, Nick?”

He sucked in a
breath, taken aback by her direct question.

“That’s what I
thought.” She turned away, and he grabbed her wrist.

“Damn it, don’t
go.” He tugged her back against his chest and thrust his hands into
her hair. He didn’t ask permission or give her a chance to object,
he just kissed her. He poured every ounce of confusion and
frustration he’d felt since the second he laid eyes on her into
that kiss… and she answered him in kind.

She laced her
arms around his neck as he boosted her up to wrap her legs around
his waist. He navigated the few steps without tearing his mouth
from hers. Pinning her against his front door, their hunger and
passion merged until he couldn’t tell where his ended and hers
began. He’d never wanted a woman, never needed to satisfy a
physical and emotional impulse, that badly.

“I need you,”
he groaned, tearing his lips away long enough to find the curve of
her neck. He lowered the strap of her dress and grazed her soft
skin with his teeth before kissing and licking the slight
abrasion.

“Nick, we have
to stop.” She pinned her arms against the door, almost as though
she couldn’t give herself permission to keep touching him.

“No, we don’t.”
Stopping was the last thing on his mind. He’d die before he’d take
more than a woman was willing to give him, but the thought of
stopping nearly had him begging for mercy. “Please, just give me a
chance. Let me love you.”

She pushed
against his shoulders with more strength than he imagined she
possessed. Her eyes were shuttered with an emotion he couldn’t
begin to understand. “You don’t want to love me. You want to have
sex with me! You want my body, nothing more!”

He was too
stunned to respond. She struggled to break free. Letting her go was
harder than he imagined, but he didn’t have a choice. When they
finally made love, and he knew they would, he wanted her to want
him with the same ferocity he felt.

“You’re wrong.”
He kissed her hand, trying to diffuse some of her anger with a
gentle touch. “I want so much more than that. I want to know what
makes you laugh, what makes you cry, and who hurt you so deeply you
can’t even imagine lettin’ me love you.”

“Why are you
doing this? How can you go from hating me to wanting to sleep with
me? It doesn’t make sense.”

He kneeled to
look her in the eye, and he held her shoulders to prevent her from
fleeing. “You’re right.
We
don’t make sense. I’m horses and
pickup trucks. You’re Hollywood parties and A-list celebrities. I’m
beer and pretzels, you’re champagne and caviar. We don’t make
sense, what we feel for each other doesn’t make a damn bit of
sense, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”

“I can’t do
this.”

“You can’t
pretend this isn’t happenin’.” Even as he said it, he was terrified
she would try to do exactly that: pretend she felt nothing for
him.

“Shaw-”

“Isn’t the man
for you.” He knew she’d mentioned Carver to get him riled up and
take the focus off of them and the feelings she wasn’t ready to
acknowledge. “We both know that.”

“How do I know
I’m not part of your strategy to one up him, to throw him off his
game?”

It was a
legitimate question, and it made him nervous because he didn’t have
the answer to assuage her fears. “This isn’t about him. You’ve
gotta believe that.”

“Why? Why
should I believe you?”

He pressed her
hand against his erratically pounding heart. “You may not believe
this, but I don’t lie, and I don’t tolerate liars.”

She looked at
their joined hands instead of looking him in the eye.

“Do you feel
that? That’s what fear feels like. I’m scared to death you’re gonna
walk outta my life without ever givin’ this a chance.” He’d never
been as honest with a woman, never felt he had so much to lose, or
so much to gain.

“I don’t know
what you want from me.”

“I want you to
be brave. There are no guarantees. I can’t make any promises, and I
won’t ask you to either. What you have with Carver, or what you
could have, is safe. It doesn’t make you wanna run and hide, does
it?”

“No.”

“But what you
feel for me…?”

“Terrifies
me.”

He couldn’t
have hoped for a better or worse response. At least he wasn’t
alone, but just because she’d acknowledged her feelings didn’t mean
she would face her fear. He had to figure out how to make her
believe their love could be worth it.

“It terrifies
me too, Meg.” He held her tight. “I don’t know you, not really. But
I do know I want to get to know you better than anyone ever has. I
was wrong to judge you, and my gut tells me that before this is
over, I’m gonna be down on my knee-”

She wouldn’t
let him finish. She flattened her fingers against his lips. “Don’t
do that. Don’t start talking about the future. My future isn’t in
Nashville. It’s in L.A. All of my opportunities are there, and as
soon as my contract is over, I’ll be on the first plane back
there.”

“Are you sure
that’s what you want?” He waited, hoping to see some sign of
hesitation, but the emphatic shake of her head told him she was
either a damn good actress or their developing feelings weren’t
strong enough to make her question her course.

“I’m
positive.”

***

Megan thought
about canceling her lunch date with J.T., but she knew she would
see him at Ty’s party that evening, so postponing the inevitable
seemed senseless.

“Hey,
beautiful,” J.T. said, coming out from behind the bar. “I was
beginnin’ to think you’d changed your mind. Nikki just called and
said she had a break in her schedule, so I invited her to join us.
I hope that’s okay?”

“Of course.”
Megan liked Nikki, and she welcomed the opportunity to get to know
her better. Her time with celebrities in L.A. had been limited to
scheduled interviews or impromptu questions on the red carpet.
Getting to know them on a personal level, the way she had since
coming to Nashville, was nice.

Before moving,
she hadn’t been a big fan of country music and didn’t know a lot
about the major players. She’d made it a point to immerse herself
in the culture so she could do her job to the best of her ability.
She hoped her time in Nashville would lead to other opportunities
when she returned to L.A., assuming a leak about her past didn’t
ruin her future.

“She was just
around the corner when she called, so she should be here in a few.
Why don’t we grab a table while we wait?” The lunch crowd was
slowly filtering in, so J.T. told the hostess they would take the
last booth in the back of the seating area. He said to Megan, “It’s
a little quieter back there. The workin’ guys usually come in to
catch the sports highlights durin’ their lunch breaks, so the bar
area can get loud.”

“Have you owned
Jimmy’s a long time?” Megan asked, sliding into the booth. She
smiled her thanks when the waitress passed her a menu.

“Feels like
forever,” he said, chuckling. “Truth is, I was a bull rider comin’
to the end of my career when I met Nikki. I was pretty lost and
didn’t know which direction to take. The old owners, Jimmy and
Edna, were lookin’ to move on. I didn’t know shit about business,
but I had a few bucks in the bank and no other plans, so I thought,
why not?”

“Avery
mentioned the ranch has been in your family a long time. You
weren’t interested in carrying on that tradition?”

“Not really. I
did it for a while, but it wasn’t in my blood.” He laughed. “My
nephew’s a different story. That boy loves it.”

“I can tell.”
They placed their drink orders with the waitress. J.T. made sure to
order something for Nikki.

“Nick is damn
good at what he does. Ty bought back the land my parents sold when
Nick took an interest. Turns out he made the right call. That ranch
is more profitable now than it’s ever been, and those horses…” J.T.
whistled. “Hell, if I’d known there was that much money to be made,
I may have taken a stab at it myself. Of course, it’s not easy. You
have to be the best, and Nick is. The best of the best, in
fact.”