Time Out (17 page)

“I don’t want
to talk about this anymore,” she said and started the car.

“You give so
freely of yourself in bed. I don’t even know if you realize it, but
when you make love to me, all of your walls come down. You’re like
a different person.”

During the
intimacy of lovemaking, she felt her weakest and most vulnerable.
That’s why she’d only had four partners, including Nick. Letting
someone see her in that state was terrifying.

Megan looked in
her rear-view mirror to make sure no obstacles were in her path
before she backed out. She turned on the radio and hoped Nick would
take the hint she didn’t want to talk anymore.

***

Megan was
silent most of the way home, so Nick wasn’t surprised she drove
right by his house.

“What are you
doin’?”

“I’m spending
the night at your parents’. I’d rather not have to walk in these
heels.”

“You’re not
goin’ to my parents’ house, Meg. You’re comin’ home with me.”

“I don’t think
that’s a good idea. We’re both tired-”

He slammed his
palm into the dashboard, making her jump. “You’re right. I’m tired.
I’m tired of you making excuses and pretendin’ you don’t feel
anything for me. I’m tired of bein’ the only one who gives a
goddamn about whether this works.”

Megan swerved
to the side of the road and threw the car in park, leaving a trail
of dust in her wake. “You don’t think I care? You don’t know that I
think about you all the time?” She unfastened the front of her
dress.

Nick’s mouth
went dry as he watched her strip away her pale blue bra and
panties. “What the hell…” Not that he was complaining. He’d take
Megan anywhere he could get her.

“You don’t know
that you rock my world every damn time we have sex?” She climbed
over the gearshift into his lap.

He reclined the
seat, positioning her so she straddled him.

She fisted her
hands in his hair, tugging his head back. “I hate the way you make
me feel: jealous, uncertain…” She kissed him hard as she ripped
open his shirt.

He’d never seen
her like that, so out of control. No way in hell was he ever
letting her go. If he’d ever questioned whether she would be the
one to turn his world upside down, he had his answer.

“But I can’t
get enough.” She eased up his body, urging him to draw her nipple
into his mouth. “The way you make me feel…” She moaned, throwing
her head back. “You’re like a drug. I can’t get enough.”

He had waited
so long to break through her walls. He felt the dam burst, and the
passion she’d held at bay for so long finally broke free. She was
as hungry and desperate for him as he was for her.

“Don’t fight
it,” he muttered between hungry kisses. “Just trust me. Trust
yourself.”

Her tortured
sob filled the car, and it killed him to know she was still so
determined to fight the inevitable. “Let me love you,” he
whispered, knowing that was probably the last thing she wanted to
hear. He’d regret the things left unsaid for the rest of his life
if he censored himself.

“Please tell me
you have protection,” she muttered, kissing his neck.

“I think
there’re some condoms in the glove box.”

She raised an
eyebrow as she levered herself up, using his chest for support.
“I’m not even gonna ask why.”

He grinned.
“Yeah, it’s probably best you don’t.”

Her mood
darkened almost instantly. Lust was replaced with longing and
unmistakable sadness. “I’ll probably spend the rest of my life
wondering…”

Nick was almost
afraid to ask. He felt her withdrawing as he tried to hold on
tighter. The back and forth was killing him, but he couldn’t let
her go. “Wonderin’ what, sweetheart?”

“What she’s
like.”

Her response
was so soft he had to strain to hear it, but he knew without asking
she wouldn’t have the nerve to repeat it. She had already stepped
so far out of her safe zone, and that alone gave him reason to
hope. “Who, baby?”

“The woman who
finally captures your heart. Who gets to wear your wedding ring,
share your name, have your babies.” A tear fell onto his chest, and
she quickly brushed it away.

“Why can’t that
be you? Why won’t you give yourself to me?” He held her head
between his hands, refusing to allow her to flee.

She pushed
against his chest, trying to break free. “I can’t. I just
can’t.”

“But you can
give me your body. Why? Isn’t that worth guardin’?” She shivered,
and Nick knew he was getting to the root of some of her issues.

“I don’t want
to talk.” She tried to climb out of his lap, but he held her firmly
in place.

“I’m not gonna
let you run. Or hide. Not from me.” He drew her face closer so he
could kiss her.
Only one kiss
, that’s what he told himself.
But one was never enough. Once he got a taste of her, his hunger
became insatiable.

He closed his
eyes when he heard her rummaging around in the glove box. He was
letting her use sex as a means of escaping their issues, but he
didn’t have the will to resist. His entire body quivered with the
urge to make love to her again.

Nick didn’t
take his eyes off her as she took him to an even higher state of
arousal. By the time she was finally ready to put him out of his
misery, his head felt as if it would explode. Perspiration made his
chest slick as she lowered her body, taking him deeper than he
thought she could with just one lunge.

He felt her
stretching to accommodate him, tightening to encase him, and his
mind went blank as his body took over. He grabbed her waist and
gave her what they both needed to wipe away the fear of an
uncertain future.

She whispered
in his ear, “I love seeing you like this. I love knowing I make you
as crazy as you make me.” She trembled. “Knowing I have this kind
of power over you-”

He trapped her
in his gaze. “You
own
me.”

She trembled
again from the force of the orgasm he felt move through her body.
“Nick…”

His name on her
lips coupled with the look of helpless abandon in her eyes sent him
spiralling over the edge with her.

Megan woke up the next
morning with Nick’s hot breath fanning her neck, and she allowed
herself a brief moment of bliss as she curled into his arms. He was
so strong. He made her feel safe, as though no one and nothing
could hurt her as long as he remained by her side.

A contented
little sigh escaped before she realized he was awake.

“My sentiments
exactly,” he said, kissing her shoulder. “Why don’t I make you some
breakfast? Then we can go into town to pick up your car and get
little Trey a birthday present. What do you get for a kid whose old
man is a billionaire and spoils him rotten?”

Megan smiled.
She had seen Liam with his son, and Nick’s assessment seemed
accurate. The boy clearly had his daddy wrapped around his chubby
little finger. “I don’t know. A pony, maybe?” She was kidding, of
course, but she got nervous when she rolled over and saw the wicked
gleam in Nick’s eye.

“That’s
perfect! I was gonna sell Last Song’s only remaining mare to a
rancher in Texas, but we couldn’t agree to the terms.” He sat up
and reached for his cell phone. He fired off a text or an
email.

Megan knew Last
Song was one of the two horses Nick had competing in the upcoming
Kentucky Derby. The same one who won last year. She grabbed his
arm. “That horse must be worth a fortune.”

He lifted a
shoulder. “So what?”

“Are you sure
you want to give such a valuable horse to a toddler?”

Nick laughed.
“Alisa’s always been like family to me and I know how much a kid’s
first horse means to him. I care about little Trey, not the
money.”

Megan’s heart
stuttered as she processed his words. If he adored Alisa’s little
boy that much, how much would he love his own wife and children one
day?

“What’s wrong?
You okay?” he asked, setting his phone aside.

She looked at
him, trying to conceal the fact her heart was breaking. Nick was
everything she could have ever wanted, if only she could be
everything he needed. “I’m fine.”

He frowned.
“You’re lyin’. Why?”

“You’re just
such a good man, Nick. Sometimes, I let myself forget that.”

“What does that
mean?”

How could she
tell him she wasn’t used to breathing the same air as a man who
loved so selflessly and without reservation? She was accustomed to
being used and mistreated. As she’d gotten older, she realized she
could protect herself by refusing to let anyone get too close.

“Talk to me,”
he said, reaching for her hand.

Nick asked
because he cared, and that meant more to Megan than he realized. “I
love that you’re so protective of the people you love.”

“Why wouldn’t I
want to look out for the people I care about? That goes with the
territory, right?”

“You give of
yourself without thinking about the cost, and I don’t know if you
even realize how rare that is.”

He kissed her
hand. “Sweetheart, I know you didn’t have it easy growin’ up, and
I’m not even gonna pretend to know what you went through, but the
past doesn’t have to define you.”

She looked at
their joined hands. His were tanned, strong, and calloused. Hers
were much smaller, softer, and manicured. It just reminded her of
the glaring differences between them. “Your past shapes the person
you become whether you want it to or not, Nick. We all have bruises
that never heal.”

He held her
close before whispering in her ear, “I’m willin’ to bet those
bruises could fade with time.”

She shook her
head. “That’s wishful thinking.”

“I just want to
make you happy. Why can’t you let me?”

Megan knew he
meant it, but he didn’t have the power to make her happy. No one
did. She used her career as an escape mechanism. The world saw her
on TV and thought her life must be so perfect. She was attractive,
had a great career, mingled with the rich and famous. They didn’t
see the reflection she saw every morning, the lifeless eyes and
haunting sorrow makeup couldn’t conceal. Only when the bright
lights followed her could she become the person the world
expected.

“I don’t know
how to be happy.” It was a gut-wrenching admission, but he deserved
the truth.

“Let me show
you.”

She looked up
at him, and she knew if her hardened heart could ever soften enough
to let her love a man, Nick would be the one. She’d told Nick she’d
loved Brock when in fact, she had tried to love him but had fallen
just short.

She stroked the
bristle covering his jaw. “You can’t. But I refuse to bring you
down with me, Nick. You do know what it means to be happy, and you
deserve to be happy. Being with me would eventually make you
miserable. You may not see it now, but I know how it was between
Brock and me in the end. My heart hurt just looking at him. He
tried so hard to give me what I needed, but he couldn’t, because I
didn’t even know what I needed.”

“Is it possible
I’m what you need?”

She literally
ached when she heard the hope in his voice. He was an optimist, a
man who believed anything was possible if he worked hard and stayed
focused, but she was a realist. She knew it didn’t matter how much
she wished for something. Sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be.

“I should go.”
She reached for the edge of the duvet to throw the covers back.

“Please,
don’t.” He pulled her back against his chest, his arms circling
her. “I’m sorry I keep pushin’. I’ve just never wanted anything as
much as I want this to work. The thought of you leavin’ Nashville…
I don’t even wanna think about it.” He pressed his lips to the
hollow of her neck.

Walking away
then was the right thing to do, but she couldn’t. He held her
tight, and instead of insisting he let her go, Megan sank into the
comfort he offered. One more day with him would only make letting
him go that much harder. It was wrong. It was cruel. But for the
first time in a long time, she felt powerless to help herself.

***

“I still can’t
believe Nick gave my son a horse! I mean, really, who does that?”
Alisa said, laughing.

Megan smiled.
Everyone had been blown away by Nick’s generosity, but Alisa
insisted they wouldn’t allow their son to start taking riding
lessons for a while. “It was pretty out there.”

“In the best
possible way. I love that man so much.” Alisa grinned.

Megan was
struck by how easily the group showed affection. They always hugged
and teased each other, and even an outsider could tell how much
they meant to one another.

“How about
you?” Alisa asked before taking a bite of her carrot stick. “Can
you say the same?”

Caught off
guard, Megan blushed. “I… uh…”

Alisa’s clear
blue eyes hardened. “If you can’t, I suggest you let him go before
he gets hurt.”

“Hurting Nick
is the last thing I want to do.”

Alisa touched
Megan’s forearm. “Look, I like you a lot. You’re a sweet girl, but
Nick is like a brother to me. Anyone who hurts him has to answer to
me.”

Tears sprung to
Megan’s eyes. She wasn’t surprised someone had questioned her
relationship with Nick. She just hadn’t expected it to be a woman
she was beginning to consider a friend. “I understand how you
feel.”

“No, you
don’t.” Alisa ushered Megan into a smaller sitting room off the
kitchen. She closed the door and pointed at one of two armchairs
facing each other. “Sit down. Please.”

Realizing she
didn’t have a choice unless she wanted to make a scene, Megan
complied. Her hand trembled as she brought her wine glass to her
lips. She had gotten good at handling confrontations out of
necessity, but she felt as if the ground beneath her feet was
giving way, and she was trying her best to find something solid to
hold onto.