This Regret (9 page)

“It’s not a problem,” he cuts in. His voice comes out sounding as if me being here is causing him physical pain. That same pain as the look in his eyes and somehow I wonder if today just isn’t a good day for him. Personal issues maybe? A fight with his girlfriend or maybe the loss of someone close to him. Whatever it is has him hurting bad.

I should just leave and assume today just isn’t the day for a tattoo. “I’m not even sure what I want anyways. My friend kind of talked me into coming today. I’ll just come back.”

“Stay. I said it’s not a problem and I meant it.” He walks over so he’s standing right in front of me. His eyes land on mine for a second time and I find myself trying to figure out where I’ve seen that look before. Those eyes are so familiar yet I can’t place them.

Before I can finish my search, he pulls his eyes away and pushes the binder into my arms. “You’ll find the form to fill out in the back folder. Go ahead and look through the tattoos, get your I.D out and fill out the paperwork. I’ll be back in a few.”

Running a hand through his disheveled hair, he turns around and shoves the glass door open, leaving me alone in the shop.

“Now I wish Kade was here,” I mumble, feeling a bit down all of a sudden, just unable to get past this guy’s attitude.

I take a seat in one of the chairs and set my purse down next to me. “This so better be worth it.” I dig through the mess in my purse, finding my wallet at the very bottom, hidden under makeup, papers, candy and pretty much anything else you can find. It never fails to be this way, but yet, I refuse to clean this damn thing out.

After filling out the form and setting my I.D on top, I open the binder and start looking through the tattoos. I’m surprised to see that every single tattoo in the binder has something to do with beautiful peacock feathers of some sort. There are so many different sketches of them with beautiful colors and designs. It’s like this binder was made specifically for me and I can’t help to feel a bit emotional as I look though them.

I always said as a teenager that a peacock was going to be my first tattoo. Everyone laughed at me except for Adric. He said it was brilliant because a peacock was beautiful and bold just like me. It always made me smile. It was as if Adric was the only person that ever truly got me. Man, I really miss him.

“Did you find something beautiful yet?”

His voice startles me and I throw my hand over my heart. “Shit, you scared me. Could you give me a little warning next time?” I stand up and close the binder.

His eyes land on my cheek and he smiles, but it doesn’t meet his eyes; although it’s enough to show off a sexy set of dimples that I hadn’t noticed before. “I have a way of scaring people.” He reaches out, placing his hand on my cheek and brushes his thumb beside my mouth causing my eyes to close and my breath to quicken. “Somebody’s a messy eater. Let’s go.”

Just like that he’s gone and embarrassment courses through my body as I watch him walk toward the back. He stops at the station off to the left and takes a seat on his stool in front of the tattoo chair. He starts digging through his drawer and pauses to look up. “Bring that binder over here so I can see what you picked.” He seems so sure I would pick something from there instead of off one of the walls. Surprisingly, he’s right.

Running my han
d over my cheek to be sure there isn’t any spaghetti left, I bend over and reach for the binder and the rest of the crap needed to get started. I turn and head over to the station he’s at and take a seat in the black leather chair.

He reaches out his hand. “Let me see your I.D.”

I place it in his hand and lean back into the chair, opening the binder again to take a second look. My nerves are really starting to kick in now. “I haven’t really decided for sure which tattoo I want.”

I flip the page and my eyes set on a peacock with blue, green and purple feathers. The peacock has its neck curved, with
its tail fanned out behind its body, proudly showing off the beautiful feathers. “Wow! That’s really beautiful.”

He leans over my shoulder to look. “Where do you want it? Your shoulder? Your leg? Your side? Do you have a certain spot?” His eyes meet mine and I nod causing him to scowl before looking back down at the t
attoo. “I can tell you now it’s going to hurt like a bitch no matter where you put it. That’s not a very small tattoo. It’s pretty big for a virgin. Are you sure that you can handle it?”

“How do you know I’m a virgin?” I shut the binder and set it down on the table as he arches an eyebrow. “Never mind, forget I asked. I’m sure I can handle it.” I snatch my I.D back and shove it in my purse. Aggravated, I point to my left ribcage, right below my breast. “Just do it here, please.”

“Okay, as long as you keep in mind I’ve alr
eady warned you of the pain I’m about to cause.”

He turns around and pulls the kit and ink out of the drawer, along with a pair of black latex gloves that he pulls onto his hands. It takes him a few minutes to set up all the inks, open the needle and load the gun with the first ink.

In the meantime, I can’t help but to keep checking the time wondering when the hell Kade is going to show up. Maybe I do need him after all. I mean this guy is hot, sexy, gorgeous and every other word you can find to describe something so damn beautiful, but he’s not a very pleasant person to converse with and he has my nerves running wild like a loose electrical wire.

“Take your shirt off,” he demands.

My body clenches, catching me off guard. “Excuse me?” I look up at him as he is getting some paper towels in his hands. “Usually when a man wants me to take my shirt off, he asks a little nicer.”

“That’s because he wants it off for a different reason than I do.” He plays with the tattoo gun a bit, tightening a few things before messing with the pedal by his foot. “Can we just get this done please?” He looks defeated and lifeless refusing to look up at me.

I can’t help it, but I’m starting to get a little angry now. I don’t really understand why he is so angry with the world. Some people would’ve killed to be doing what he’s doing now. Adric only dreamt of being in this guy’s position. “Can you stop being so rude please?” I plaster on a fake smile just to piss him off.

He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath as if just now realizing what he’s doing. “Listen, I’m sorry. I have a lot on my mind. Will
you please take your shirt off?”

I take a deep breath, sit up and pull my shirt over my head, while thinking to myself how lucky I am that
I wore my new lacy bra instead of that old comfortable one that looks hideous on me. “That’s better. All you had to do was ask nicely.”

My eyes land on his and this time he doesn’t pull th
em away. He rolls closer so we’re face to face. Then his hand reaches out, his fingertips brushing mine as he grabs my shirt out of my hand and tosses it behind him on the glass display, his eyes never leaving mine. “That works for me. Usually I don’t have to ask.” He pulls some kind of lever on the chair so it’s lying flat like a bed now. “Lie down and roll over on your side.”

He’s getting awfully demanding now, almost making me feel as if he really thinks that he’s about to pop my cherry.
Who is this guy?
“You’re pretty demanding for not even knowing me,” I grumble.

He looks down at me as if he knows something I don’t. That look like he can see through my soul. It makes my
heartbeat quicken and I can’t seem to stop my eyes from searching his whole body, trying to figure him out. From the way his chest is moving against his tight shirt, his heart has to be beating just as fast as mine.

The more
that I study him, the more he feels so familiar. Those beautiful eyes, gorgeous full lips, perfectly arched eyebrows and deep set dimples. I know them all, each one. I used to study them by day and dream about them by night. I can’t be wrong.

I scoot forward
on the edge of the chair so our faces are almost touching. I can feel his heavy breathing on my face as he looks me dead in the eye. That’s when I notice the scar on his face. It wasn’t there before, but still somehow, I know that my body can’t be lying to me. “Wait a minute, I know you.” I reach up and run my finger over the scar through his eyebrow, unable to fight the need to touch him, to see if maybe my mind is just deceiving me. “No. It can’t be,” I whisper mostly to myself while studying him. “Is it really you?”

His nose flares and he stands up and takes a step back, but doesn’t say a word to confirm my suspicion.

I stand up as well and we both must be in a daze, because we both stand there, not moving until I hear Kade’s voice from behind me causing me to turn.

“Hey, looks like I made it in . . . “

His words trail off as his eyes land on me and then the man that seems to be taking my breath away at the moment. He walks forward, his jaw clenching and before I can see it coming, he swings out and punches the guy in the jaw, his fist connecting hard.

“What the fuck, Kade!” I scream in utter shock.

The guy just stands there, his eyes darken, never leaving Kade’s. He clenches his jaw and tightens his fist by his side. His voice comes out tight. “It’s nice to see you too little brother.”

Holy shit . . . it is him.

Chapter Six

Kellan

The world is spinning around me and pain is coursing through my jaw, but the only thing I can seem to think of is the look in my baby brother’s eyes when he noticed wh
o the hell I was. The pain I have put on him is more than any brother should have to handle and I don’t even deserve to be in the same room with him. I can honestly say I deserved that punch.

Seeing him for the first time in eight years is exactly what I imagined, maybe worse. He’s standing there straight and tall and pissed off as all hell. Looking into those baby blues, cold as ice and full of hatred, it hurts to see how different he is and that I have missed so much over the years. He’s no longer that scrawny little seventeen year old kid with the unruly blond curls that were too powerful for his tiny head,
or skinny little twig legs I used to make fun of. Now he’s almost as big as I am, standing six foot one, with eyes so intense it looks as if he can rip a whole army apart. Who knows, maybe he thinks he can. He looks like a man and it saddens me I didn’t help him to get there.

When I first saw Phoenix
walk in, I wasn’t positive it was her, but one look into those eyes and I knew it had to be. I’d know those eyes anywhere, they were just like Adric’s. My heart stopped at the thought, but after seeing the confirmation on her I.D, my whole world just crumbled at my feet. The whole past came rushing to me in a flood of emotions and I felt as if I was fighting to breathe underwater. Even worse though, was seeing my baby brother walk in, sporting that short lived smile on his face and damn, I think I just died a little.

I have been back for six months. Six whole fucking months and I haven’t even been able to get up enough courage to see my family. Seeing them like this was the last thing on my list of shit to do. It’s been eight long years since I have set eyes on either one of them and seeing them now is like ripping open an old wound.

As much as I have missed my baby brother, it’s her that I can’t tear my eyes away from. She’s standing there, staring off as in pain or shock. Similar to receiving news that someone close died.

I always knew she was going to be beautiful, but damn, she blows my mind. She’s no longer that sweet, lanky fifteen year old girl I used to protect. No, now she’s blossomed into a full grown woman, taking my breath away. She’s standing opposite of me about five foot five, petite, but with curves sexy enough to make a man’s mouth water and wish he could taste every last bit of her skin against his tongue. Her wavy brown hair falls against her smooth skin, barely brushing her breast. Those big gray eyes, lined with long thick lashes could pierce your soul. I follow down that perfect little nose until my eyes stop on those plump, pink lips, causing me to swallow. She’s standing there in those low riding jeans and a black lacy bra. Fuck, what a beautiful set of breasts. I can almost see the tops of her nipples and all I can think about is running my tongue across them, getting a taste. She has a belly button ring and the perfect round bottom I want to squeeze and to top it off, long slender legs that would look more amazing wrapped around me. All I can imagine is what it would be like to have her naked body rubbing against mine as I pound into her, releasing some of this built up aggression. Still, my eyes look back to those big gray eyes, full of hurt, not to mention she’s Adric’s little sister. The girl I always promised to protect. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about her. I’m a fucked up man. She definitely needs protecting, protection from me.

I take a step back as Phoenix speaks, breaking the silence of this hell we’ve entered. “Kellan,” she chokes out, her pained voice barely a whisper. She lets out a breath and her legs slightly tremble. “I can’t believe it’s actually you. After all of this time, it can’t be.” Placing her hands to her face, she slowly turns away from my view and mumbles under her breath. “This is really happening . . .”

I try to focus on her words, but Kade breaks my concentration by shoving me backwards and into the station.

I catch myself and try to reason with him. “Kade. I’m sorry.”

He shoves me again and I get up just to be shoved for a third time.