The Storm Inside (3 page)

“Leave.” I said it so fast even I didn’t believe I’d said it at first. But as my brain and my body caught up with each other I knew I was right. My instincts knew Jake was a black hole of pain. “This isn’t going to happen, Jake. You and I are done. We are the past and I need you to leave. Now.”

He studied me, those careful green eyes seeing something because after a moment his entire expression changed and his body relaxed. “Alright,” he said, cocking his head to the side and looking at me pointedly. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you at some point. Tampa’s a small town, darlin’.”

“And yet… you’re going to stay as far away from me as you can.” I forced a smile and winked.

Jake chuckled, “We’ll see about that.”

I pointed at the old orange Ford Bronco parked at my curb. Jake had lovingly restored it in college. He’d taken the top off and replaced it with a removable ragtop. The inside was coated in the same liner they used in the beds of pick-up trucks. It was his baby. He’d loved it because it was as rough and durable as he was. And that thought just squeezed my heart more. I knew how much Jake had been forced to overcome. I knew what had happened the night of our college graduation and why Jake had to run. I knew all of this and yet I still couldn’t forgive him. “Go.”

He nodded and winked at me; his cocky half-grin showing off his chipped front tooth. It all made me melt just as stupidly as it always had. There was just something about Jake that was different from anyone else I’d ever met.

I didn’t move a muscle until the Bronco pulled away and he honked the horn.

He was gone again, and that thought would have broken me if I didn’t also know without a shadow of a doubt that this was just the beginning. That was not the last time I would be seeing Jake Spencer.

Chapter 2

It had been three weeks since Jake’s unannounced visit to my house. I hadn’t heard from him since, which I was relieved about, but he was constantly on my mind. That’s what happens when old ghosts show up on your doorstep. They bring back old memories, make you relive the past, and wonder about your decisions. I was going over every piece of new information I’d gotten from him, trying to figure out how it fit into the puzzle that was my life.

It had taken a while—my defenses were up at first. I was angry and upset. But then it started to fade and I was able to actually hear the things Jake said on my lawn. Jennie had helped, too. She was my best friend and roommate. She’d helped me tease out the details.

The big ones being he’d had issues. Great big giant ones that really did need time and professional help to solve.

He hadn’t wanted to leave me.

He’d wanted to be with me as desperately as I’d wanted him here.

But it didn’t change facts or reality. We’d been madly in love once and it ended badly. I knew I didn’t want to live through a Jake Spencer broken heart ever again.

There was just one problem… one giant, glaring problem.

In the ten years since Jake had left, I’d never loved anyone else.

I’d dated; it wasn’t like I’d just sat around pining for my long lost love like some graying spinster. I’d even gotten pretty serious once. Sebastian Monroe was a fine man who had been good to my family and me. My sisters adored him, he and my dad got along great—even my mom was taken with him. He was tall, dark, and dashing. We were extremely comfortable with each other and I couldn’t have asked for a better man in my life. Sebastian was as pure hearted and upstanding as anyone could ask for.

But I could never bring myself to say I loved him.

The stark difference between my feelings for Jake and my feelings for Sebastian lead me to break it off before he proposed. I couldn’t live a quiet, stable life. I needed fireworks. I needed my pulse to race every time he walked into the room. I needed my body to groan every time his skin touched mine. I needed his voice to make my heart stop.

Sebastian did none of those things.

As much as I liked him, I didn’t love him.

As much as I enjoyed sex with him, it didn’t rock my world.

But that was the best I’d come across.

It had only taken Jake moments to do to my body what no one else had managed in ten years. And that thought alone was driving me crazy. I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Nothing had changed—not in that department. Ten years and I still had that same visceral response to Jake that I had the first time I met him all those years ago.

My reaction had been so intense and so different I had never forgotten a single moment of our first week together. I’d never been boy crazy, in fact I was worried there was something wrong with me.

Everywhere I looked my friends were frantically losing their minds dating. They had crushes and were losing their virginity… meanwhile all I could see were silly boys I’d rather not touch.

Then Jake walked into my life and everything changed.

I don’t know if it was love at first sight (I’m really not sure what the heck that means) but he took my breath away. Everything else fell away and there was only his handsome, smiling face. Then he looked at me and I saw that same shocked look in his eyes. It was an instant connection and we were immediately drawn together like two magnets. He was as blind to the people around us as I was.

We spent nearly every minute of the next week locked together in a quiet conversation that only made sense to us. We talked about everything—it was the strangest thing. Somehow in a single sitting we could move from movies to politics to religion; all while smiling and touching and caressing. And the kissing… I thought kissing was a little bit gross until Jake kissed me. Then I couldn’t get enough.

Every moment with my body pressed up against his was ecstasy.

Every moment we were apart was hell.

We’d known each other three days when he pulled back from a long, deep kiss and stared into my eyes. I couldn’t breathe when he did that- I could see forever in his eyes. A look of fear flashed across his face, he squinted his eyes just a little bit, and murmured a question. “Are you seeing anyone else?”

Was I seeing anyone else? Did anyone else exist? “No,” I whispered.

Jake relaxed and melted against my body beneath his. He swallowed and dipped his head down, tracing an invisible line up the skin of my throat. His breath was warm as he whispered in my ear, “Be mine and no one else’s?”

It was the most terrifying and wonderful thing I had ever heard in my life. I wanted Jake like I’d never wanted anything and hearing his frantic plea that I be his…

“And will you be mine?”

His grin split his face in two, “I already am.”

I kissed the soft spot on his cheek where his invisible dimple was peeking out, “Then yes.”

A knock on my office door brought reality crashing down on my memories. I looked up to find my boss standing in the doorway. Josh Norton was a few years older than me, handsome enough: six foot, thin, a little mousy for my taste. But he was a great boss. He’d taken me under his wing from day one, specifically tasked to make me part of the team. It had been an undertaking considering my first day was only two weeks after Jake’s grand exit, but he had handled it brilliantly. We’d been friends ever since.

“You ready for this?”

I looked down at the stack of proposals. I was Director of Fan Experience for the Tampa Bay Rays, the Major League Baseball team based out of St. Petersburg, and we were adding a new tailgating and pre-game experience outside Tropicana Stadium. For the next three hours Josh and I were going to be listening to the formal presentations for these proposals. I had my favorite, it was the last one, and I hoped the presentations matched the paperwork. I didn’t like it when my expectations weren’t met.

“I’m not looking forward to my ass falling asleep, but otherwise, I’m prepared.”

“Good,” he smacked the papers he was holding against his hand. “Let’s get this over with. I have a dinner date with the last presenter and he’s taking me to Bern’s. I’m gonna bleed the sucker dry.”

I laughed. Bern’s was a local favorite, a very cool restaurant with a nice high price tag. “I take it your favorite is also the last one?”

Josh made a face and held up his fingers, “The first one is way overpriced, the second one is pointless, but the third one is both interesting and on budget. It’s just right.”

“And paying for dinner.”

Josh grinned, “Exactly. I’ll see if he’s willing to bring my Director along, too.”

I rolled my eyes as I stood up, “I’m sure I’ll manage to find food on my own.”

The presentations went just as we predicted and Josh and I spent more time trading insulting text messages than actually listening to the bland presentations.

That was until Presentation Number Three showed up.

I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. He was tall, dark, and
Jake.
My eyes flew down to the paperwork in front of me.
Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates
was the engineering firm and sure enough, the Chief Engineer was listed as none other than Jake Spencer.

How had I not noticed his name? I was apparently so taken with the plans I hadn’t bothered to look at anything else. The devil was in the details, not the plans.

Josh shot to his feet, greeting Jake enthusiastically.

I stayed glued to my seat like I was strapped in by a five-point harness. Jake casually looked over Josh’s shoulder, his smoldering stare pinning me against the padded chair. He looked amazing. His three-piece suit was a light shade of gray and his green tie set off his eyes and tan skin.

He looked edible.

Damn it.

I swallowed and tried to stop myself from blushing. The way he looked at me was positively possessive and I could feel the heat surging under my skin.

“We are just so thrilled the head of Spencer, Hamilton, and Associates himself came out to do the presentation. We don’t get that very often,” Josh prattled on.

Jake’s eyes never left mine. “No, I’m sure you don’t,” he murmured. “But this is my pet project, the Rays have had a special place in my heart since my college days.”

Damn. Him.

“Oh, really?” Josh asked, oblivious to what was happening.

“Papa Joe was like a father to me.”

I shot daggers at him. How dare he bring my father into this? Josh spun on his heel, “Then you must know our Eve.”

I forced a smile onto my face and finally stood, “Oh, yes. Jake and I go way back.” I tried to only shake his hand tersely, but that wasn’t what happened. His fingers managed to wrap around mine in a soft but demanding way that sent a tingle so charged up my arm it took my breath away.

Josh looked from me to Jake and back again, “Ok…”

I snatched my hand back, “Presentation, let’s get this over with.”

Jake moved to the head of the conference table with a ridiculously proud smile on his face. The fucker saw how badly he threw me for a loop. He had planned it all along.

I remembered how calmly he’d left my driveway three weeks ago. He’d basically warned me he’d be seeing me again soon. Stupidly I’d taken it as a general off-hand remark, not an actual scheduled meeting. Tampa was a small city and from the looks of his company, Jake and I would be seeing each other from time to time.

It only took him a moment to take over the projector, bringing his presentation to life. He was smooth and confident. And damn it all, but I could have watched him talk all day. I loved the sound of his voice and found myself closing my eyes just to absorb more of it.

I missed it. Those deep, rough, gentle vibrations were like a lullaby soothing my soul.

I’d already read the proposal and I knew Jake was brilliant. I didn’t need any more information than that. Paying attention to the details was purely optional.

What I
was
learning, however, was how very, very different Jake was from the boy I used to know. The boy I’d loved in college was terribly damaged. He was social and fun, but had an incredible lack of confidence. He was probably more screwed up than anyone I’d ever met before or since. And yet I’d loved him with everything I had despite his inability to function like a normal human being. I’d never met anyone smarter.

But he hadn’t understood how wonderful he was. And every time we were outside our little bubble, he struggled to function. He was full of doubts and incapable of recognizing his own genius. If I hadn’t watched over him, he’d never have graduated despite being able to ace every test he’d ever taken.

He was that smart.

And that screwed up.

But not anymore. He was smooth, confident in his brilliance. I had a feeling I could ask him anything and he’d answer me with a smile. Ten years ago he probably would have mumbled something, thrown in a few swear words for effect, then stormed out of the room.

He really had changed.

I felt such a strange mix of happy and sad. Happy was really the dominant feeling. Jake deserved to be happy and to be brilliant. I was really glad he’d finally managed to find peace in that.