The Stillburrow Crush (22 page)

"We have to be alone."

My eyebrows rose. "Is it that good?"

Again he shook his head. "No."

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The Stillburrow Crush

by Linda Kage

I punched him lightly in the arm. "You wrote me a bad poem?"

"Shh." He leaned down to my ear. "It's not the best I've written. But it is the most important."

Now I was getting antsy. "Just show it to me so I can read it."

"Nope," he said. "I have to read it to you."

I didn't know whether to be impressed by this stubborn streak of his or to despise it.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Whatever. I'll see you when I'm released from Paxton Prison."

But when I asked my parents that night when I was going to be set free, neither gave me a definite answer. I think they planned on keeping me grounded until Luke Carter lost interest.

On Friday morning, Nate wanted to know if Luke was riding to the party with him since it seemed obvious I wasn't going. But Luke remained uncertain. I could tell he didn't want to go without me. And that made my heart go a little wild. I never heard what he finally told Nate. He found me at the end of school, taking my arm and falling into step beside me.

"I'm walking you home," he declared.

We were quiet most of the trip. Other groups of kids, young and old, walked with us for a while. The air was still, but cold. It hadn't snowed yet and the ground looked brown and barren. But with Luke next to me, I couldn't complain.

Our hands were locked together and our connected arms swung lightly between us. Every so often our book bags, 206

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which were slung over our shoulders, would bump into each other. Luke looked tall and gallant in his letterman's jacket.

As we moved on, fewer people walked with us. We were a block from home before it was finally just the two of us. He moved closer. I knew because I could feel his heat warm me.

He bent his head slightly and spoke quietly as if he were talking to the sidewalk:

"Fourth of July in the sky. / Oasis for the night."

I glanced up and was about to ask if I'd heard him correctly, when I realized what he was doing.

"Light explodes like a weeping willow / or a blanket draped
over the ground."
His walking pace began to slow.

My lips parted as I watched his eyes grow cloudy.

"Bottle rockets and sweet red juice. / Goodbye to
innocence and youth."
He looked up at me and I noticed a slight red ring forming around his lashes as if the feelings inside were making him misty-eyed.
"Let freedom flare and
sparkle / or picnic under the stars. / It was the cascading
color / of an invented Aurora Borealis."

Luke stopped walking completely then. He turned to face me, taking my hands in both of his. He didn't talk for a moment, and it looked like he couldn't.

And then he finished the poem.
"But the most piercing
explosion came from my breast, / when I caught the
reflection of rockets in her eyes."

I sucked in a breath. "I like it," I said, trying to breathe normally. "It's perfect."

Luke's hands squeezed mine. "I named it, 'When I Fell in Love.'"

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I stared at him. For a moment I was frozen, unable to respond.

"Carrie?" His voice wasn't quite steady.

I had to blink a few times to bring his face into focus. And when I did, I saw the furrowed brows and worried eyes. "Are you sure?" I whispered.

He shook his head. "I've been so confused about everything lately. I'm not sure about anything." He stepped close. "Except this. You were right. You were right about so many things."

I didn't know if I could take too much more of this gushy talk. My heart was about to overload with all the emotions striking me, so I shrugged. "I usually am."

Luke smiled and bumped his forehead against mine. "How do you do that?"

I looked up at him. "Do what?"

"After that first interview at the football homecoming game, I was so mad at you. I kept thinking up things I should've said but you would've come back with some smart remark. You always know what to say."

He was wrong, but I didn't correct him.

"You were right," he murmured, closing his eyes. "I didn't want to be seen with you because you weren't a cheerleader or popular, because you hung out with E.T. Fitz."

I pulled away from him and stared up at his face, thinking I hadn't heard him right. He couldn't say this now, not after he'd proven that theory wrong.

"But I couldn't not see you either," he said. "When I went to your dad's car lot and saw you walk out of the shop behind 208

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him toward me, something inside me just popped." He shook his head. "That never happened to me before."

"You mean the busted ice feeling," I said.

Luke opened his eyes and looked at me. "So you felt it too?"

I shrugged. He grinned. Then his smile dropped.

"I felt so guilty. I was sure you'd figure it out."

"Which I did," I interrupted.

He nodded. "I knew you'd realize I was too ashamed to be seen in public with you but I still wanted to be around you.

I'm not sure what I thought I was trying to do. Make some kind of secret girlfriend out of you, I guess. I even tried to make it up to you by telling you about my poems."

"Yep, the poem thing finally caught me up," I said.

Luke shook his head slowly and stepped back. He raised guilty eyes to mine. I thought it should hurt more than this, to hear something like that from him, but when he said, "Do you think you can ever forgive me?" I didn't feel any pain.

Instead, I thought about how Luke stood up in the middle of an all-school assembly and defended me to the principal, publicly associating himself with me.

I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him all over his face, but being me of course, I had to tease him first.

My hands were still in his and I stared at our connected fingers for a moment. When I looked up, it was hard, but I managed to keep a stern face.

"Well," I said with a sigh, "I can only think of one thing you could do to make it up to me."

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He nodded earnestly and looked ready to do just about anything. "What?"

"You have to let me drive your car."

Luke's face was frozen for a moment and then it broke into the widest grin I'd ever seen. His dimples flashed and his hands broke from mine so he could throw his arms around me and squeeze tight.

"Deal," he said into my ear.

I gripped my eyes shut and hugged him back, letting go of every fear and insecurity I ever had. I don't know how long we held each other there on the sidewalk. But we didn't stop even when a car drove by.

"Take me to the lake party tonight," I said, with my arms still folded around his neck.

"You're grounded," he reminded me.

"So? I'll sneak out."

Fingers tightened in my hair. "No." He pulled back so he could see my face. Then he shook his head. "I'm not giving your parents one more reason to hate me."

"They don't hate you."

But he didn't look convinced. "Ever since they found out about the wine, they can't look at me without glaring."

I bit my lip and touched his face. "I think that's just because of Marty and Abby. Since Marty had a close call, they think they've got to keep tabs on me now."

Luke frowned. "But I won't—"

"I know," I said, holding up a hand. "You don't have to convince me."

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He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it and sighed instead. Hooking his arm with mine, he turned us toward my house and started walking me home again. "I guess Marty and Abby broke up, then?"

I snorted. "Didn't you notice the way Abby kept asking that basketball player out this week? What's his name?

Zane."

Luke shrugged and kicked at a rock, sending it flying off the sidewalk. "Maybe they're just going through a rough time since the misunderstanding over her pregnancy."

I remembered the expression on my brother's face, the complete torture when he looked up at me and said, "They didn't even ask."

"They're done," I said bluntly.

Luke glanced at me sharply. He suddenly jumped in front of me and stopped, jarring me to a halt. "Tell me it's possible they might end up happily ever after. Even if you think it's a slim one, I want you to admit there's a chance."

I tilted my head up to study him. "Why?"

"Because if you admit there's hope for them, then you can admit there's hope for us when I go off to college next year."

My heart shuddered then. I'd been trying to get used to the idea that there was even an
us
. Thinking of next year when I'd be a senior and he'd be away at college was new to me. Now I had a new worry. Great.

"If you're trying to compare us to them, then we're doomed."

Luke squeezed my hand. "Stranger things have happened," he said, trying to be bright.

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I bit my lip and glanced down at our joined hands. A month ago, I never would've thought I'd be walking home hand-in-hand with Luke Carter. But here I was, with my Luke, the one who wrote poetry and had a goofy overbite. I tried to focus on the joy of the moment, but he'd ignited this latest concern in me. Were we headed in the same direction Marty and Abby had been going?

"Are you riding with Nate to the lake tonight?" I said instead.

Luke shrugged and stared at the ground. "I don't even feel like going anymore." He looked up. "It doesn't sound fun."

"Well, if you go," I said, "watch Abby Eggrow for five minutes. Then you'll realize how totally over my brother she is."

Luke stopped at the edge of the car lot. He hugged me and then stepped back. "There's still hope," was all he said. He waved to my father who was over by a car talking to a customer, and then he spun away and started off.

I watched him head back in the direction of the school, where he'd left his car parked. I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore. And I hoped as well. I hoped he was right and he'd still be interested in me a year from then.

But the next day, Abby Eggrow was dead. And all hope felt gone.

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212

The Stillburrow Crush

by Linda Kage

We got the call at two in the morning. The sheriff rang, needing Dad's towing service. The phone finally roused me from my dreams the second time it chimed, and I sat up in bed, still drowsy. The light in the hall flipped on and filled the crack under my door. Two pairs of footsteps moved down the hall. And then I heard Mom's voice over the phone.

I crawled out of bed and hurried barefoot to the hallway.

When I reached the living room, I saw Dad fully dressed and sitting on the loveseat, pulling on his shoes. Mom paced the length of the living room as she talked to the caller.

"Yes, Georgia. We've just received news from the sheriff.

Dean's headed out there now with his tow truck...Oh, no.

No!" She gasped and covered her mouth. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry—yes... I'm sure he would...Georgia, just calm down.

Everything will be fine."

Mom hung up and hurried over to Dad. "Georgia's girl, Jill, was one of them, Dean. I told her you'd stop by and pick her up on your way." At Dad's frown, Mom clutched his sleeve.

"Please, darling. She's so worried and you know she's just going to drive out there by herself if you don't take her. In the state she's in, we'll have another accident on our hands."

I jumped in then, having gathered enough information to make my own conclusions. "What's going on?"

Mom and Dad jumped when they heard my voice but neither answered me. Dad gained his feet and Mom hurried to the closet to fetch his coat. They continued to ignore me as 213

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Mom quickly zipped Dad up. When she adjusted his collar, their eyes met. Dad sighed. "I'll pick her up on the way. But she's going to see things she shouldn't have to see."

Mom rose on her toes to hug him tightly.

"Thank you," she said, and walked him to the door. "Be careful, Dean."

Dad turned back to kiss her, and then he was gone. Mom continued to stare out the front door. I came up beside her.

"What's going on?" I asked again.

When Mom turned to me, I could tell she'd put on a brave front. But her hands were freezing when she took my fingers.

"Carrie," she said in a steady voice, "there's been an automobile accident on Still Road."

"And Jill was in it?"

She nodded.

"Is she OK?"

Mom closed her eyes briefly. "I don't know," she whispered. "The sheriff only told your father it was a bad wreck with two cars involved."

My stomach dropped. If Jill had been in the wreck, it must've been when she was coming home from the lake party. And if she'd been coming home, then she might've collided with someone else also going home. I suddenly needed to know if Luke had gone to that party.

"Who was in the other car?"

Mom shook her head. "I don't know," she repeated in a broken voice. "I have no idea how it happened. I have no idea what Jill was doing out at this time of night. I don't know anything, honey."

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"The lake party was tonight."

"What?" My mother's eyes flashed to mine and then she dragged me into a fierce hug. "Oh, thank God you're grounded." She buried her face in my hair. And that's when it hit me.

"Oh no." I squirmed against her. "No!"

"What is it, Carrie? Carrie?" She gripped my shoulders and pulled me back far enough to see my face.

"I heard Jill was going to go to the party with Abby."