The Sleepover Club Bridesmaids (4 page)

“She can’t do that!” I said in horror. “Tell her, Andy! Tell her, Mum!”

But Mum and Andy didn’t say a word.

“You’re not going to let her get away with it?” I pleaded.

Andy cleared his throat. “Don’t make a big deal out of this, OK.”

“Big deal?!” I yelled. “Do you know what I’ve had to eat today? A piece of toast and a raspberry slush puppy, that’s what!”

“Fliss, please,” murmured Mum. “You’ll hurt Patsy’s feelings.”

That was the last straw.

“
Patsy
’s feelings?” I screamed. “What about
MINE
?”

I stormed upstairs to my room and slammed the door.

I wasn’t just angry. I was scared. What was going on? Overnight my parents had somehow turned into these weird strangers. I felt as if I’d walked into one of those sc-fi films, where no-one is what they seem, and the evil bodysnatchers are in town. If my parents were going to carry on like this, they didn’t DESERVE a wedding present!!

I picked up my giant pink teddy bear and gave him a major cuddle.

Before I knew it, I’d drifted off into a deeply satisfying daydream, where Mum’s friend Jilly and her daughter liked me so much that they insisted on taking me back with them to Hollywood, where they fed me all the chocolate fudge brownies I could eat…

The minute I got into the school playground, I dashed up to the others and started pouring out my tragic story.

I was just describing my cabbage soup ordeal in heartrending detail, when Kenny started biting her lip. Then I noticed Frankie was madly stuffing her fingers in her mouth. And suddenly Lyndz gave this humungous piggy snort.

I couldn’t believe it. My friends were LAUGHING!

“I’m glad YOU think it’s funny,” I said huffily.

“I’m sorry,” Rosie gasped. “It sounds awful, Fliss. You must have been so upset.”

Of course, that did it. Everyone totally cracked up!

All of a sudden I completely saw the funny side. (Which is most unlike me!) For some reason, all the things which seemed so terrible yesterday struck me as absolutely hysterical today!

By the time I’d got to the part about Mum and Andy being taken over by alien bodysnatchers, we were staggering around the playground, shrieking with laughter.

Honestly, talk about Giggle Therapy! I felt HEAPS better. Plus, my mates helped me put everything into perspective.

“It’s not like Hurricane Patsy is going to be staying at your place for ever,” Rosie pointed out, as we lined up to go into class.

“And don’t worry about your mum and dad,” said Frankie sympathetically. “Grown-ups often act weird around their parents.”

“Amber’s coming, that’s the main thing,” said Lyndz. “I can’t wait! I never met a real film star before.”

“Yeah,” said Rosie. “It’s SO great you don’t mind sharing her with us, Fliss!”

“Mum thought we’d all go into Leicester after school tomorrow,” I told them. “Want to come?”

And my friends were so obviously thrilled to be invited that I started to feel like a bit of a celebrity myself.

When I got home, I was surprised to find Andy home from work already. He looked so smart I hardly recognised him.

“Oooh!” I teased. “Is this in Jilly’s honour? Should Mum be jealous?”

“Er, yeah,” Andy said. “That’s exactly it, Fliss. I like to keep your Mum on her toes.”

I noticed that my laidback step-dad had this really tense expression for some reason. Plus both he and Mum seemed unusually quiet. But I decided they just had butterflies, like me.

I went rushing upstairs to make myself look especially nice for Amber. After I’d had a long hot shower, I put on my new ice-blue jeans, and a sweet little T-shirt with the word ANGEL on it, in really tasteful lettering. I’ve
got this real thing about angels lately, I don’t know why. Plus, apparently they’re HUGE in America.

I brushed my hair till it was all soft and silky, then I put in my flowery clips.

I checked my reflection nervously in the mirror on my dressing table. And you know what? I’m not being vain or anything, but I thought I looked quite pretty. And for, like fifty seconds, everything felt so perfect that I honestly wouldn’t have swapped places with anyone else in the world.

Actually my life was getting more and more like TV! Fifty seconds of pure happiness, then that music goes
durn durn DURN
, and you know everything is going to go drastically downhill…

Well, that’s how it was with me.

Last Christmas, Andy gave me this cute hand-mirror. Don’t tell the others, but secretly I thought it looked like the kind of thing a mermaid might own. It lived on my dressing table, next to this bottle of really expensive bath stuff which my real dad, Steve, got me.

Anyway, I suddenly thought I’d like to see how my hair clips looked close up, so I went to pick up the mirror.

CRASH!!!

It slipped from my hands, bounced off my dressing table, and smashed into pieces.

I stared at it in total shock. I have no idea how it even happened. The mirror wasn’t heavy. And my hands weren’t sweaty or anything.

I was still staring at the mess, when Andy’s mum rushed in, like a bad fairy in a pantomime. “How could you be so thoughtless, Felicity!” she cried. “That’s seven years’ bad luck!”

“I didn’t break it on purpose!” I wailed. But inside I was turning numb with horror. And I’d thought seven DAYS’ bad luck was terrible news!

I realised Patsy had beetled off to tell my parents what I’d done. So I dashed downstairs to tell them my side of the story. But I was too late.

Andy’s face was like thunder. “Is this true, Fliss?” he said.

“I don’t even know how it happened!” I wailed. “We won’t
really
get seven years’ bad luck, will we?”

I should explain that normally Andy is the most easy-going guy on this planet. But as you know, these days my family was totally NOT normal.

“How COULD you be so careless?” he yelled. “A great big girl like you!”

Don’t you hate it when people call you a “great big girl”? It makes you feel like some hideous troll child. All yesterday’s bad feelings came whooshing back. Why was Andy being so mean? Couldn’t he see I was miserable about breaking his special present to me?

When I’d found that little gift-wrapped mirror under our Christmas tree last year, I’d felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and I just knew my step-dad really and truly loved me. But right now, I wasn’t sure Andy even
liked
me any more. And all at once I burst into floods of tears.

I hate how I look when I cry. I look exactly like those rabbits which those naff conjurors
used to pull out of hats. The creepy white kind with pink eyes. (Pink-eyed rabbits, you wally, not pink-eyed conjurors!)

So it was bad luck that Mum’s best friend, Jilly, picked that precise moment to lean on our bell, sending the door-chimes into a frenzy of ding-dongs.

“Omigod! It’s them!” shrieked Mum. She rushed to the door.

And there on our step were Mum’s friend and her famous film-star daughter. I stared at them, totally stunned.

As you probably guessed, it wasn’t Jilly who took my breath away. She looked quite sweet and everything, but she was just average mum-material. It was Amber. She was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Everything about her was gorgeous. Her eyes, her teeth, her hair. Her hair wasn’t blonde. It was literally
golden
. As for her clothes, they were out of this world.

I do my best to keep up with the styles (which isn’t easy when you live in a dump like Cuddington). But so far as I could see, Amber was in a completely unique style
category of her own. She was totally, devastatingly perfect.

Finally Mum and Jilly stopped hugging each other and Mum registered that I was still standing there, lost for words. “Well, say hello to Amber, darling,” she said.

Adults can be so tactless. Personally, I’d have thought it was bad enough having perfect Amber see me with my pink-rimmed rabbity eyes, without Mum carrying on like I was some sulky little kid. But there you go.

I scowled. “Give me a chance,” I hissed. Nice one, Fliss, I thought immediately. That made you look extremely mature.

Then Amber did something which really showed me up. She stuck out her perfectly manicured hand and gave me a dazzling smile. “Hi,” she said. “You must be Fliss. I’m Amber.”

“Hi,” I mumbled, feeling a real wally.

As you can see, Amber and I hadn’t exactly got off to a flying start. But I reassured myself we’d make up for it, as soon we were on our own.

I hung about politely, while Mum and Andy
showed our guests over the house and demonstrated the power shower – you know the kind of thing. And at last Mum said, “Fliss, we won’t be eating till quite late. Maybe you could take Amber on a grand tour of Cuddington? You could introduce her to your friends.”

I knew this was blatant mother-type code for “We’re dying to have a juicy gossip so let’s get you girls out of earshot!” But the words were music to my ears.

“Would that be OK with you, Amber?” I asked shyly.

“Sure,” said Amber, without enthusiasm. “That would be great.”

The minute we got outside, Amber produced a pair of designer sunglasses and perched them on her divine little nose, which only made her look more depressingly perfect than ever.

A wave of panic washed over me. Amber and I were alone together, like I’d wanted. But I still couldn’t think of a thing to say.

I mean, plenty of stuff wafted into my mind, but when I imagined actually saying
any of it out loud to Amber, it seemed so
babyish
somehow. So there was this squirmingly long silence, and I completely didn’t know what to do. Silences don’t crop up that often when I’m with my sleepover mates. I mean, Frankie even talks in her sleep!

At last, to break the ice, I blurted, “We’re going to Frankie’s house. I told the others to meet us there.”

Amber made a neutral American “Uhuh” noise and kept on walking.

I was going hot and cold by this time. I had to say
something
!

“I thought Frankie’s was the safest bet,” I explained. “I’m honestly not being horrible. But you never know
what
state Lyndz’s house is going to be in. Her dad’s always doing these major renovations. One time they couldn’t find the telly for like, days!”

“Really,” drawled Amber, making it rhyme with “silly”.

“It’s just the same at Rosie’s,” I gushed. “But for a completely different reason. Her mum and dad bought this whacking great
house that needed masses doing to it. But then her dad walked out on them. They’ve done loads of improvements since then, but Rosie still worries that people will think she lives in a real tip.”

You really despise me now, don’t you? You’re thinking, was Fliss out of her fluffy pink mind? Slanging off her best friends to some girl she’d only just met? And I totally don’t blame you. All I can say is I TRULY didn’t mean to.

I just wanted Amber to know how incredibly, well –
interesting
all my mates were. Only for some reason it came out sounding like they all came from problem families or something!

“We could have gone to Kenny’s house, I suppose,” I wittered desperately. “But then we’d have had to put up with her sister, Molly, poking her nose in all the time. Also Kenny has this rat.”

Amber crinkled her nose. “Ugh,” she said faintly. “Shouldn’t they put down poison or something?”

I burst into fits of girly giggles. “Oh, I didn’t
mean they have, like – RATS. It’s a pet. Kenny keeps it in the garage.”

“But still,” said Amber. “A
rodent
!”

To my relief, I saw that we were nearly at Frankie’s house.

“You’re going to love Frankie,” I gushed. “She’s SO much fun. Being with her is just one long party.”

You probably won’t believe this, but it turned out that my horrendous walk with Amber was actually the
good
part!

As Amber and I went upstairs to Frankie’s room, I could hear all my mates merrily slanging off the M&Ms like normal.

“They SO think they’re the centre of the universe,” Lyndz was saying. And Kenny chortled. “Not!”

Then we opened the door, and everyone looked up, and there was this like, ELECTRIC moment. I could practically see their thought bubbles. “Eeek! What do we say to this perfect person!”

This time Amber showed us
all
up. She stuck out her hand, and said, “Oh, hi!” with that killing American politeness.

I hastily introduced everyone. And Amber looked Rosie right in the eye, and said (eek! it gives me goosebumps just thinking of it!), “So you’re Rosie. Gee, that’s too bad about your dad.”

Rose gave me this murderous look. Luckily, before she could give me a piece of her mind, good ole Frankie went into her Famous Actress routine.

“So Amber,” she gushed. “What’s it actually
like
living in LA?”

Amber’s eyes lit up. “You guys can NOT imagine. It’s SO fabulous.”

It was like Frankie had turned some magic key. Amber totally sprang to life, telling us about her huge house, the stars she’d met, the parties she went to, the soap she’d just auditioned for – oh yes, and her FABULOUS boyfriend Darryl.

Now and then one of the others opened their mouths to say something, but now Amber had started, she just went on and on. The rest of us just gradually glazed over. Afterwards Kenny said that if Amber had said “fabulous” one more time, she’d have
been forced to bang her head on the floor. Her
own
head, Kenny meant. Personally I’d have settled for putting a large paper bag over Amber’s.