The Rift (5 page)

“I missed you,” I said. “But I understand why
it would have been have been hard—”

“No, I should have—”

Jed burst out onto the porch in shorts and a
t-shirt. He looked good, really good, and for a moment I just
stared at him. He stared straight ahead at the forest like it had
pissed him off and he was ready to fight each and every tree. “Your
mother is a real piece of work, Kelsey.” He grimaced. “I’ve got to
go for a run. I’ll stay within sight and hearing of the house.”

Angelica and I watched him go, and she looked
as confused as I felt. The similarity of our reactions made us
laugh at the same moment, and I felt for the first time that maybe
we could be friends again.

“This has got to be the strangest trip I’ve
ever been on,” I said.

She snorted. “I’ve been saying that for the
past two months.”

“Kelsey, we’re all here tonight to help you
see that your drinking has become a problem, and that it is hurting
the people in your life who care the most about you,” Doctor
Veronica said in a calm, soothing voice. I was pretty sure she
could tell someone to go fuck themselves in the same tone, and I
wondered if that was what she was really telling me.

I glared at Henry, because the intervention
was all his fault. He stared hard at the floor. “Look,” I said. “I
really appreciate all of you being here tonight, but—”

Doctor Veronica actually walked over and
pressed a hand to my lips. “Kelsey, it’s time now for you to
listen.”

I glared at Doctor Veronica and imagined
ripping that hand from her body and stuffing it somewhere very
uncomfortable. Someone in the room snorted. I tried to twist and
see who it was, but Doctor Veronica held me still. I had a pretty
good guess it was Thad, and I wanted him to know what I thought of
him, so I lifted my right hand over my left shoulder and gave the
finger to the general vicinity.

“Okay,” I said through Doctor Veronica’s
hand. She stepped away, but stayed within touching distance, in
case I tried to say anything else I assumed.

“I’m going to ask Henry to speak first, since
he has been closest to you in recent months.”

Henry nodded and met my eyes. “Kelsey, I love
you. You’re always there for me when I need you and, while I
appreciate that, I worry that you aren’t doing anything to make
yourself happy. You deserve to be happy. I don’t know a kinder,
more giving, more loving person, and on top of all that, you make
me laugh every day and you’re smart as hell. You’re the one who
explained to me that fruit roll-ups don’t actually have any fruit
in them.” He looked around at everyone with a “who knew”
expression, and they all laughed.

“That’s great, Henry,” Doctor Veronica said.
“Now, tell us how Kelsey’s drinking and partying lifestyle have
hurt you.”

Henry frowned and stared at a point somewhere
over my left shoulder. I wanted to catch his eye and make a face at
him, but I couldn’t. I should have been laughing at the surreal
situation, but I felt all twisted up inside. “I don’t think I
realized it until I saw you kissing that guy at the club the other
night,” he said. I almost groaned out loud. Why did he have to go
there? “I thought we were just having fun, but when I saw you
kissing him I wasn’t hurt as much as I was worried about you. I
know we’re solid, and that kiss seemed so out of character…I
realized that you drink for a different reason than I do. You
kissed that guy for the same reason: to escape from yourself. To
feel strong and alive and like someone who can take on the world
for just a little while. That kiss wasn’t the first sign. It just
cemented something I’d already noticed. I know you’ve been sneaking
off to drink at five in the morning, just to get through the day. I
know you don’t go more than three hours without having another
drink of some sort. I thought you were just bored and having fun,
but seeing you with that guy made me realize you have a problem,
and you need to deal with it. If I can help you do that, I will.
I’d do anything for you, Kelsey.” He met my eyes and I knew he
wasn’t talking about my non-existent drinking problem, he was
talking about what I’d really been spending all of my time doing –
training with him and learning to fight. I’d been sneaking out to
the gym at five for a two-hour workout session, and I’d usually go
for a run around 10 and then spend the afternoon lifting weights in
my room before I met Henry after he finished his work or training.
We’d spar and fight in one of the empty gyms. I was getting
super-buff. So buff I had to wear baggy clothes to hide my new
muscles, but it was all good. I was getting stronger, and I was
learning so much. I wasn’t trying to escape from myself. And if
he’d thought I had a problem, why hadn’t he said anything sooner? I
glared at Henry and he glared right back at me like he was serious
about the intervention. What the hell?

“Thank you, Henry. And Thad, since you’re
sitting next to Henry, why don’t you speak next,” Doctor Veronica
said, her tone sweetness and light.

Thad and Angelica said generally nice things
about me. They hadn’t spent enough time with me to see if I had a
problem or to be hurt by it, but they agreed with Henry that I
deserved to be happy. They told me alcohol wasn’t the way to
achieve happiness. Angelica said she’d been so upset by Bruce’s
death that she’d started drinking, but what really helped was
talking to people, and she hoped I’d let Doctor Veronica help me.
They both said they considered me a good friend and would be there
for me if I ever needed anything.

Tucker had been hanging out in the darker
corners of the room, but he stepped forward when it was his turn
and looked at me. “I feel like this is my fault,” he said.
Technically, the apartments at Varius were warded and he shouldn’t
have been able to spend much time with me there, but I’d seen as
much of him as I had of Henry. To reveal that, though, would give
away too many secrets. “I saw long ago that you were suffering and
struggling, and I did nothing. I promise you I will do everything I
can to make sure you get the help you need. You know how much I
love you,” he said, his eyes on mine. I did know. Tucker and I
didn’t need words. If I had a best friend in the world he was it.
Still, he hadn’t warned me about the intervention, and he’d been
making himself conveniently absent since we’d arrived in the
mountains. I glared at him, but he just smiled. “Be as mad as you
want, Kelsey, I know you love me.”

It was sweet, but I felt a bit pathetic that
my intervention consisted of six people and only two of those
people really knew what was going on with me. I mean, there were
very good reasons for me and Henry walling ourselves off from other
people, but the loneliness I’d been feeling lately was only
intensified by the speeches of my friends. I wanted to get out of
that room, go for a run and then spend an hour hitting things. I
sighed and leaned back in my seat, as Doctor Veronica called on my
mother.

Momma cleared her throat and looked around
the room. “Kelsey, you are my only daughter, and I don’t like to
hear your friends saying you have a drinking problem. I know we
haven’t always been close, but I love you, Kelsey, and I just can’t
imagine how I would go on if anything ever happened to you. Losing
your father was hard enough. Please let this nice doctor help you
and get you better.” The room fell silent and I smiled at my mother
reassuringly. “Not that it sounds to me like you really have a
problem, dear. I mean a drink now and then has never hurt me. You
seem to be doing well and having fun. You have a boyfriend for the
first time and a good job, so I’m really a bit confused about what
the problem is here.”

For the first time, Doctor Veronica looked
like she was at a complete loss. Even during our sessions, when I
refused to speak, I hadn’t seen her so unmoored. “Mrs. Fitzhugh,
we’ve talked about this and—”

“Well, I just think it’s ridiculous,” Momma
said. I wanted to cheer and hug her. For all the times she’d hurt
me and let me down, she was standing up for me and I appreciated
it. Of course, if I really had been an alcoholic her words would
have been the opposite of helpful, but I wasn’t so - go Momma. “My
only daughter has always had a good head on her shoulders. That’s
how I raised her. If she needs a drink every now and then, I’m sure
it’s fine. And all of this…” Momma waved her hands at the room and
the house and all of us. “Just seems like some new-age mumbo-jumbo
like that cardboard Kelsey claims is food.”

The room went silent and Jed leaned forward
from his seat on the couch next to Momma. He caught my eye with
that motion and smiled. That smile made me want to laugh out loud.
It had been so long since he’d looked at me that way, and I’d
missed it. I’d missed him. I wanted to go to him and touch him, to
wrap my arms around him and hold onto that feeling, but I knew that
wasn’t what he wanted. “Kelsey, I can honestly say I’ve never met
anyone else like you. You’ve faced challenges and difficulties that
would have other people running away or hiding, and you’ve stood
your ground and jumped right back into the fray without flinching.
I admire your bravery and I count myself lucky to have you as a
friend. You may be the first and only real friend I’ve ever had.” I
couldn’t take my eyes off him as he spoke, but he looked away and
stared at the floor for a long moment before continuing. “It hurts
me to see you hurting yourself. And that’s what you’re doing by
drinking all the time, you’re hurting yourself. I know I haven’t
given you a lot of reasons to consider me a friend or to care when
I’m hurting, but I’m asking you to please let Doctor Veronica help
you and to try to find real happiness somewhere outside of a
bottle.” He leaned back in his seat and was done. I just kept
staring at him, trying to figure him out. Jed met my eyes and
electric sparks thrilled all up and down my body. I realized it was
going to hurt more than ever when the warmth he was showing me was
replaced again by distant chill. I returned my attention to Doctor
Veronica, who was speaking.

“I’m going to continue working with Kelsey,
and only Jed and Henry will remain here as guards. They are to have
no contact with Kelsey during the rest of her stay here, so
everyone should say their goodbyes to her tonight.”

After that, I had to promise Doctor Veronica
to commit myself to her program and not to have a drop of alcohol,
blah, blah, bladdity, blah. By the time I was done with that,
dinner was on the table and I took a seat between Henry, who
immediately put a hand on my knee, and Thad, who put his hand on my
other knee. I pushed Thad’s hand off and raised my eyebrows, but he
just grinned, put his hand back, and leaned over to whisper in my
ear, “I don’t know what you’re up to, but I do know Henry is not
your boyfriend.”

I pretended to be shocked and angry, but I
couldn’t very well argue with him in front of everyone else. I
continued to push his hand off my knee, and he continued to put it
back on, laughing merrily the whole time. I looked up and across
the table, choosing to ignore Thad, and met Jed’s eyes. He looked
quickly away, like he was watching me and, I’m certain, judging me.
He looked grim and serious, even while everyone else was chatting
and laughing.

I escaped back to my room as soon as I
finished eating, and Henry followed close behind.

“Call Tucker,” I said as soon as he’d stepped
in and closed the door behind him. “We might not get another chance
for a while.”

He shook his head, but he didn’t look
certain. “That’s really nice of you, but I don’t think it’s a good
idea. Anyone could walk in and…”

“Okay, so we wait until everyone’s asleep. Go
out and tell them I’m already sleeping.”

“Angelica, Thad, and your mom are leaving in
the morning. Don’t you want to spend some more time with them?”

I shook my head and ignored the guilty
feelings that zapped me. “This whole thing is just too surreal,
Henry. I’m not an alcoholic and I hate the worry and pity on their
faces. Besides, I just feel awkward with Angelica, Thad won’t stop
flirting with me, and my mother is, well, my mother.”

“Okay, but I think you’re going to be sorry.”
He left and closed the door behind him.

Tucker showed up moments later. “Go away,” I
said in my most grumbly tone.

“Kelsey, I don’t think I should have to
apologize for trying to help you. I know you aren’t actually
drinking, but the way you’ve been, it’s not healthy.”

“And you learned this in psychology school?
Seriously, Tucker, save the lecture. It’s getting really old. I’ve
been through a lot of bad shit, I agree, but I think I’m handling
it reasonably well. I’m not drinking, I’m not doing drugs, I’m
not—”

“You can’t be alone or still for more than an
hour,” Tucker said. “You’re hiding it well, but you’re
suffering.”

I waved a hand at him. “I’m going to sleep.
Wake me up when everyone else is out and you’re ready for your
touch session with Henry.”

Tucker, shockingly, blipped out of sight
without another word. I was about to be thankful when a knock at
the door made it clear why he’d really left. “Come in,” I
shouted.

Doctor Veronica stuck her face in through a
tiny crack in the door. “I don’t mean to disturb you, Kelsey, but I
noticed your absence and I thought maybe you’d like to talk about
what happened at the intervention.”

“No thanks.”

“The more time you spend talking to me, the
more quickly you can leave here and get back to Varius. Yvonne
hinted that if I give you the all clear, she’ll allow you to start
training.”

I didn’t believe that for a second, but I did
want to get out of that nut house. “Fine. Do I have to go back to
your office or can we just talk here?”

She stepped into the room and sat on the edge
of my bed, looking simultaneously uncomfortable and much younger
than I’d previously thought she was. I spent the next hour telling
her again about the all bad things I’d been through in the past six
months. Before she left, she tried to encourage me to go join the
others, but my eyes were red and puffy and my heart hurt. I really
did just want to sleep. I lay back, but my whole body felt jittery
and my heart was beating too fast. I rolled out of bed to the floor
and into the push-up position. I pushed my body up and down until
my chest and biceps burned and I achieved a peace I hadn’t felt
since I’d arrived.