The One Adored (The One Trilogy Book 3) (7 page)

I salute Colin and Jackie and head off downstairs, glad of the exercise, the lift would give me too much time to think.

*******

“Down here!” I holler up the stairs at Abby’s entrance.

“Phew - what a day - I’m glad that one is over. How was your first day back in the rat race?”

“Wine?” I shake the bottle at Abby and laugh at her
of course, need you ask
face and grab a glass from the cupboard. “My day was great - bloody brilliant actually.”

“No need to be so smug - mine was shite. I’m getting tired of wiping my boss’s arse!”

I choose not to correct her - she’d obviously missed my sarcasm - her need seemed greater than mine right now. “Ah, babe I’m sorry - is it still a nightmare?”

“Total - but only I can do something about it and I have a few things up my sleeve, so we’ll see. Anyway enough about crappy work bollocks, have you heard from Mr. Silver senior?”

I laugh at her nickname for Seb before carrying our glasses upstairs. “I have but something’s off.”

“Oh - like what?”

“We’re just not the same - together we work, apart we’re… broken. I’ve always said it and the past few weeks I’ve been so…”

“Quiet?”

“Well yes, I suppose I have been but…”

“It’s to be expected after what you’ve been through, lovely. You experienced something no-one wants to ever go through and I can’t begin to imagine how you feel about getting in a car again. Have you yet?”

“Yes. Seb made me. I didn’t want to at first but he was right and the day after getting the all clear from the specialist I went out in the car, alone. Just to the corner shop and back and it was terrifying but I
had
to do it. I can’t let this accident strip me of everything - change me and remove my independence - I
won’t
let that happen.”

“That’s what I like, fighting talk - I knew my pal was still in there and you’d be out to play soon enough. I agree with Seb completely, but it must have been extremely difficult and I’m proud of you, Lulu. God, you’ve been through so much, and Seb too. How is he in all this? Nathan has talked to him but he hasn’t really discussed their conversations with me, which I understand but it’s bloody annoying.”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I know he was devastated when it happened and we did talk the first weeks after I came home from the hospital, which helped and brought us closer…and we have on and off since…”

“I know you mentioned but I’m sensing a but?”

“I don’t know, Abs - I think I’ve been so self-absorbed in my own emotions and recovery I’ve left little space or time for his. I feel awful about it all. We’ve kind of fallen into a ‘routine’ that caters to my health and Finn’s needs.” I sip my wine thoughtfully and eye my friend’s body language carefully, she was straight talking and would tell me as it is - and I really needed that right now.

“Look Seb has been your rock, no doubt about it. He had to be and he threw himself into caring for you and Finn, being there for you at every waking minute because deep down he felt so weak and helpless. He couldn’t find out who had done this to you, which was probably a good job or he’d have ended up behind bars for their murder, so the next best thing was to be the model Stepford husband and believe me it’s been scary to watch.”
 

We giggle a little and it lightens the mood before she continues. “How are you two in the bedroom? Is everything back on track? Or is it too soon to ask?”

If anyone else had asked I’d have told them to mind their own fucking business but not Abby, she had hit the nail on the head within five minutes of conversation. It was non-existent. “Not good.”

“Ok - well it will take time to get back to swinging from the chandeliers again but a little missionary for a while never hurt anyone.” Her cheeky wink is met with my tightly rolled lips. “Oh! Not even missionary?”

I shake my head.
 

“And how’s Seb with that? I mean sex isn’t everything at all, it’s important that mentally you are ready as well as physically, hun - both of you - but you two are all about the passion.”

“I know and I miss him so much. I can’t seem to get us back to where we were. He hasn’t even been sleeping in my bed.”

“No fucking wonder - love! You’re never going to get any action if you are in separate beds.”

“I agree.” I shake my head on a smile and refill my wine glass, topping up Abs at the same time. “I am ready. I want him badly.”

“Well then, you need to do something about it. You’ve basically been a ‘poorly person’ for the past weeks, and he will have been wandering around with a monstrous stonk-on, scared to come near you in case you thought he was pressuring you to have sex. The fact that you haven’t talked hasn’t helped much - its not like you two though is it.”

“We have talked - we’ve talked about the psycho who did this to us. We talked about the baby and what could have been and how its loss was fate - we both believe in fate and the fact that it was neither his, nor my fault and that we didn’t blame one other.”

“Well that’s something, cause its nobody’s fault but that bastard, Lu. Not yours or Seb’s.”

“Thanks, hun. But since those conversations all we’ve spoken about are hospital appointments, medications, side-effects, Finn, family, work schedules and what to have for tea, completely skirting around the massive elephant in the room, that is ‘sex’ - seeing as my foo-foo has had an ‘closed for business’ sign hanging over it!”

“So you think the issues between you are all about sex.”

“Yes.”

"“Are you honestly ready to have sex again? Hot dirty, lose yourself sex in the moment and be ravished sex?”

“Oh. My. God, yes please! I’ve had one of those hormone coils inserted too so it could be spontaneous. Ah just the thought of Sebastian naked is turning me on.”
 

“Oh, hunny you’ve got it bad. You are ready and I’m so happy for you. I was worried that you’d have that washed out empty look for a while.”

“I know, Abs, I’ve found it hard but I’m getting there and Finn has helped. Kids keep you going, you know? But seriously, it’s embarrassing I’m such a bloody horny bitch.”

“Not at all - I’ve said it before, these Silver brothers, are irresistible - magnetic.”

“They are. I sent him a saucy text today, to you know ‘break the seal’ - get back to how we were before the miscarriage.”

“And?”

“He sent one back.” I smile coyly.

“Oh - it was that good yeah?” she raises she raises her brows cheekily and I nod, tightlipped.
 

I stare into space, considering my next words carefully - its time. “Abs? I’ve wanted to tell you something, been desperate to tell you in fact since it happened but well, life kind of got in the way the past few weeks. Please don’t be mad with me that I didn’t tell you this past month.”

“What? For goodness sake, Lulu what’s the problem? Are you Ok?”

“I’m fine. The night of the accident Sebastian came to see me, and told me about the miscarriage…” I feel Abs grab my hand tightly in support and I squeeze it back. “…Anyway that night he proposed!”

“WTF? And you didn’t tell me - OMG, Lu, this is fantastic news! What did you say? You said yes of course, yes? Durr, silly me, course you did! How did he do it? Was it romantic?” her beaming face is contagious and I grin back at her verbal diarrhoea.

“Yes, I accepted and it was all very romantic, considering I was wearing a head bandage, hospital gown, cast on my arm and looked like a I’d done ten rounds with Mike Tyson. He was amazing really!”

“So?”

“Now I’m having second thoughts.”

“What! Seriously that head injury has given you worryingly bad judgement - what is there to be confused about? He is drop-dead gorgeous, rich, successful, your best-friend and an amazing role-model to Finn and lets not forget he fucking loves you!”

“You’re totally right. They are not the reason for my concerns - I’m worried that he proposed because he felt he ought to? Like it was expected?

“Since when has Seb done anything he didn’t want to. He is the ultimate control freak - no one could force him to do something he wasn’t 100% into. I get that you might think he’s stepping up and being responsible but that would only work if you were actually still pregnant - sorry to be blunt, babe but it would - not when you’re not.”

She’s right, I’d never considered that point of view and it made a lot of sense.
“But what if I can’t have kids anymore - its a definite possibility now and I love him - I only want the best for him and I want him to have kids.”

“
You
are the best for him, Lu and you have a kid. He’s already decided that with his proposal, you daft thing - Sebastian Silver would never propose to a woman lightly. It’s soon for talks of marriage I get it, but you’ve been friends for a decade - you know one another, take that leap, together. That’s just my advice, but you’d be a fool not to march him down to City Hall asap and make it legal.” She drains the remnants of her glass and wiggles it in my face. “Whoa, this counselling lark is thirsty work!”

“Nah ah, only coffee for you now. You’ve got work tomorrow and you’ll kill me in the morning if I let you drink anymore. It’s a school night.”

“Party-pooper, but you’re right.”

“Thanks, Abs. We haven’t spoken about the proposal, other than for me to ask him not to tell anyone about it, so you’re the first to know - don’t mention it to anyone yet will you?”

“Of course I won’t but seriously, babe you really need to step it up with Seb - if you want this. I know you’ve been grieving and will continue to forever and a day, it will take time for the rawness to subside but if you love this man and you want to marry him, you have to show him - show you’re fully committed and that means, stop hiding and trust in his feelings and yours. You have to make him feel like he is your
everything
.”

I nod, relieved that finally the weight had lifted from my shoulders. Telling Abby was the best decision and all she had done was mirror my own feelings on the situation. “It’s hard with him away in Paris right now.”

“Ditto. I miss Nathan so bad, but I need to get a rein on my desire to be with him 24/7 - its doing us good to have some breathing space.”

“I’ve not seen you this hooked, Abs? Do you think this is it for you too?”

“I think it could be on my part but he can be very hard to read sometimes. I’m not even sure if he’s here to stay? Whether he’ll go back to Oz or settle here? We don’t have the ten years of foundations you and Seb have.”

“That can work against you too - sometimes it works better to be coming into this without history, no second guessing, relying on friendship and getting comfortable...”

“Hmmm. Well… I don’t know what’s going to happen between us but that’s for another night, getting back to you two, I know what you’re doing this weekend; grab that laptop and I’ll make us a cuppa.”

“What do you have up that Zara sleeve of yours?”

“‘
Paris’
and there will be nothing gay about it, lovely, it’ll be an explosive and intoxicating heterosexual ride that neither of you will forget, full of sex, sex and more sex and movie-style romance that will blow the cobwebs from your nunny, once and for all.
Then
and I mean then…
 
you’re
going to propose to
him
!”

I watch her animated face, brown eyes glittering with mirth and hands gesticulating, as her mind works in overdrive. “Great minds think alike. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Tell me more about your plans for how I make up for lost time with my man.”

*******