Read The Messiah Choice (1985) Online
Authors: Jack L. Chalker
The Messiah Choice (1985) (49 page)
And yet, when they awoke, late in the afternoon, they both were as they had been. There was no mistaking the reason for the radiance of her expression and the softness of her manner, and he, too, felt satisfied, and remembered it all clearly. He was
sure
that, somehow, he'd made love to her, as a whole man, over and over, for a longer and more satisfying period than he ever had before with a woman, and that all had been—well,
normal.
She kissed him playfully. "Do you still worry, my love?"
"Yeah. Am I going nuts—or what?"
"Magic isn't good, or evil, it just
is,"
she told him. "Like everything else in this world, it can be good or evil depending on who uses it and for what purpose. That goes for spells, and—
computers."
"Yeah, but—"
"Don't start with the 'buts,' my love. The magic doesn't work as well with 'buts.' And don't be so afraid. There's nothing to fear. They made me a Hapharsi
Mu'uhquah
for their own evil ends, but make me one they did. It doesn't matter what I look like or who I am—it's there, particularly in the dark. The ancient priestesses, to preserve their virginity and thus their power, took female lovers, but most of them still craved, at least occasionally, what they could not have. Sometimes as the male, sometimes as the female, they had it better and more often than the tribe. That's why they never succumbed to temptations of the bisexual flesh."
"Then—it was an illusion?" He'd known it, but it had been so good, so
real.
She shook her head in disgust. "After all we have been through, you and I, you can worry about what is real and what is illusion? The world is a magic place, my darling, if you wish it to be, if you believe that it is. Who is to say where reality ends and illusion begins? Who
cares?"
Who cares indeed?
"You know, I can still get that changeover. Go all the way. I think that's what St. Cyr meant. It doesn't matter to me any more what I look like, but I'd be perceived as normal by others. Me like that and you with a wig and we could go places and do things without a whole army of security people."
"Oh, no. I will not give you a chance to be a
voyeur
in the ladies' rooms of the world. I think you are perfect just the way you are, and I would be content right now if this, right here, went on forever. We have earned it. What I see in your eyes in more than enough of the world for me."
He grabbed her, and held her close, and kissed her, and they were at it again without benefit of spells or special augmentation. She broke for air and laughed. "We forgot the dildo."
"Who cares?" he retorted, and kissed her again.
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