The Leaving of Liverpool (27 page)

‘You’ve always blamed me for that, mam, haven’t you? You’ve never forgiven me! It wasn’t my fault but you never believed me! You never believed me!’

‘Why should I when all you ever do is lie to me?’

‘I haven’t lied to you. I
was
at Alice’s, except when Jake was home.’

‘Don’t you dare to even speak his name in this house, Phoebe-Ann Parkinson!’ Lily was beside herself with rage and sorrow.

Phoebe-Ann broke down again while Emily looked around in despair. ‘Come upstairs with me,’ she urged her sister.

Albert was again holding his sobbing wife but she broke away from him. ‘If she’s going through with this then she’s not staying in this house for another minute! I don’t care where she goes, she can live on the streets for all I care! If she won’t give him up then she goes and what’s more she’ll be no daughter of mine!’

Phoebe-Ann tore herself away from Emily. ‘I don’t care! I don’t care what any of you say, I love him and I’m going to marry him and one day you’ll be sorry!’

‘It will be you who’ll be sorry! You’ll have a terrible life with him and don’t say I haven’t warned you!’

‘Lily, Lily love! Calm down!’ Albert cried.

‘I’m going! I’m not staying here. I hate you all!’ and wrenching open the door Phoebe-Ann ran out.

Emily cast a despairing look at her stepfather. He nodded and she ran after her sister, catching Phoebe-Ann at the back gate.

‘Fee! Fee, wait!’

‘Oh, Em! What can I do? What can I do?’ Phoebe-Ann’s cheeks were tear-stained.

‘You can give him up,’ Emily said quietly.

‘I love him! He’s not like Mam says he is! The others might be but he’s not. Oh, Em, he’s so good to me and he idolizes me!’

‘Oh, why him?’ Emily groaned.

‘I don’t know. Why do you love Edwin?’

Emily held her sister in her arms. She was shocked and upset that Phoebe-Ann had chosen to marry into the worst family in the whole neighbourhood but Phoebe-Ann was terribly upset and terribly determined. ‘Oh, Fee! What will you do?’

Phoebe-Ann tried to pull herself together. ‘I’ll go to Alice’s. Mrs Wainwright will let me stay there until Jake comes home.’

‘You really do mean it. You love him.’

‘You don’t think I’d go through all this if I didn’t, do you?’

Emily felt defeated. Utterly defeated. Phoebe-Ann had always been naive but this! To tear the family apart and for someone like Jake Malone. It was beyond belief. ‘Oh, Fee! You poor little fool.’

Phoebe-Ann wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. ‘You won’t desert me, Em, will you?’

‘You know I won’t, but please think about it, Fee! Think about all it means.’

‘I have. I know what I’m doing. I’d better go now.’ She released herself from Emily’s arms. ‘I’ll be at Alice’s if anyone . . . needs me.’

Emily watched her open the yard door and her heart was heavy. What kind of a life was Phoebe-Ann letting herself in for? She was like a pretty butterfly but she fervently prayed her glory would last longer than a day.

Phoebe-Ann turned. ‘Will you do something for me?’

‘You know I will, if I can.’

‘Will you come to my wedding and be my bridesmaid?’

Mam would be furious but she couldn’t let Phoebe-Ann be alone on what should be the happiest day in any girl’s life. She nodded. ‘Of course I will but I’ll have to keep it a secret.’

The yard door closed and Emily leaned her forehead against it, the tears falling down her cheeks. Was it always to be thus, she wondered? Twice Phoebe-Ann had managed, unwittingly, to turn her life upside down. Firstly with what she believed had been innocent conversations with James Mercer and now by her determination to marry a man who was reviled by everyone, a determination that had torn apart a happy family. Still her heart bled for her sister and she prayed that Jake Malone had changed and that he appreciated what Phoebe-Ann was giving up for him.

 

Twice Emily had tried to broach the subject with Lily but each time she had been cut short by her mother’s bitter words. Phoebe-Ann had chosen between decency and a loving family and a no-good drunkard and Lily wouldn’t hear her name mentioned in the house. Even Albert had turned a deaf ear to all her pleadings for he was angry that Phoebe-Ann was causing Lily so much anguish.

She went to see Phoebe-Ann at Alice’s, taking her sister’s clothes. But it was a strained, uneasy meeting and Phoebe-Ann was immovable in her determination. On her way out Mrs Wainwright had taken her aside.

‘I’ve tried to talk to her, Emily, but it’s no use . . . ’E’s a drunkard an’ worse, they all are. But she just won’t ’ave it. Even our Alice can’t make ’er see sense. I couldn’t see her walking the streets with nowhere to go, could I? I ’ope your mam won’t hold that against me.’

‘No. I think she’s really relieved you took her in, Mrs Wainwright. She’s just praying Phoebe-Ann will change her mind.’

‘Your poor mam must be heart-scalded. Tell her I was askin’ for her an’ Phoebe-Ann’s fine here.’

She’d thanked the woman, who meant well.

All the joy Phoebe-Ann had felt before Jake had sailed had evaporated and with it all her bravado. She felt alone and friendless. Even Alice and her mother thought she was mad. Why couldn’t they just have given him a chance?

When he finally arrived home with a beautiful ring, the sight of her face told him what had happened even before he had to ask.

‘To hell with the lot of them! We don’t need them. We’re happy. Look, put this on and we’ll go and see the minister or priest or whatever he’s called. Fix up a date.’

‘I didn’t think it would be that bad, Jake. I really didn’t. It was awful. Everyone yelling and screaming at me, except our Emily, and Mam throwing me out.’

‘You’ve not changed your mind, have you?’

‘No. No, of course not.’

‘That’s my girl.’

‘It’s just that . . .’

‘What?’

‘It doesn’t seem so bad for you.’ She thought it grossly unfair that she had borne the brunt of the upset.

‘Don’t bet on it. Me ma’s already got our Seamus, Peader and Franny on her side. I’ve only got our Vinny. He told her to sod off, that he’d do what he liked and if he wanted to be my best man and in a Proddy church, she wasn’t going to stop him.’

Phoebe-Ann sighed heavily. So, it wasn’t just her family, although she really didn’t care very much about the rest of the Malones.

‘Let’s go and see the vicar, is that what he’s called?’

She smiled. ‘Yes. You just call him Mr Laird, not Father Laird.’

‘And we won’t tell any of them when it’s to be so they can’t spoil it. Except our Vinny of course.’

‘And our Emily. She said she’d be my bridesmaid.’

‘There you are then. They’ll all come round in the end, see if they don’t.’

She didn’t care if Ma Malone never ‘came round’ but she cared deeply that her mam would.

 

‘Can I see Phoebe-Ann please, Mrs Wainwright?’ Rhys asked, looking imploringly at the woman. He knew he was a fool to even have come but he was so shocked and disturbed that to have done nothing to try to stop Phoebe-Ann was unthinkable. He wondered how he’d not heard of it in the stokehold but then he ignored the Malones and went out of his way to avoid Jake.

Mrs Wainwright tactfully took Alice’s arm and steered her towards the scullery on the pretext of a mountain of dirty pots and dishes that would need their combined efforts to render clean. It would also give the excuse of clattering them loudly to cover the sound of any arguments.

‘I suppose you’ve come to look down your nose at me and say I’m mad?’ Phoebe-Ann snapped, openly hostile to him.

Rhys shook his head. Until he’d seen her he’d hoped he could succeed where the others had failed, but as he took in the set lips, the jutting chin and the defiance in her eyes he knew his mission was impossible. ‘No. I came to say that . . . that I still love you Phoebe-Ann and I always will.’ He twisted his cap between his hands, fighting down the urge to take her in his arms and kiss her until all thoughts of Jake Malone were obliterated.

Phoebe-Ann relaxed, she even felt sorry for him. ‘I’m sorry, Rhys.’

‘Don’t pity me! The one thing I can’t take is pity. I’ll have to work beside him knowing that you belong to him, but I’ll manage. I don’t need anyone’s pity. I just came to tell you that . . . well, if anything goes wrong, I’ll be here. I’ll still love you.’ He was thankful for the noises issuing from the scullery. He had his pride, he wanted no-one to hear his words except Phoebe-Ann. He also knew he could not run back to the valley. That would be like telling the whole world that he was devastated because of her. No, he would continue to work in the stokehold and he’d keep his pride and dignity and nurse his sorrow in silence.

There were tears on Phoebe-Ann’s lashes as she thanked him and impulsively kissed him on the cheek. She had expected him to be angry and dismissive and his words had moved her. Moved her but not made her budge an inch from her decision.

 

Emily was let in on the secret but sworn to secrecy, as was Vinny Malone.

‘No-one is going to spoil her day more than they have done already,’ Jake informed his brother and Emily who had both made the short journey to Alice’s with great stealth.

Seeing Phoebe-Ann with him Emily began to wonder if all her sister had said was true. He was sober, clean and well turned out and even his speech was far more refined than his brothers’. Perhaps they had all misjudged him. Then she remembered seeing him on the day of Lily’s wedding. She sighed. Phoebe-Ann had made her decision.

‘There will be just me and Phoebe-Ann, Emily and you, our Vinny, and the vicar. After the bit of a service we’re going to Reeces’ for a slap-up meal. You are both invited.’

Vinny looked impressed but Emily bit her lip.

Phoebe-Ann looked with pleading at her sister, so she nodded. What harm could a few more hours do?

‘And you’ll both be welcome at our house, won’t they Phoebe-Ann?’

‘Yes. I hope you’ll both come and visit me.’ This was directed more to Emily than Vinny because, although she was grateful for his support, she didn’t particularly like him.

Emily smiled at her. She would have to sneak round, Mam must never know.

‘So, when’s the happy day, like?’ Vinny asked, rubbing his hands together in anticipation of a drop of the hard stuff to seal the arrangements.

‘The beginning of the month. November the fifth at ten o’clock.’

‘Oh, that’s great. Guy Fawkes day an’ if me Ma finds out there’ll be more than fireworks goin’ off. But me lips are sealed. Now let’s ’ave a bevvy on it.’

Phoebe-Ann glared at Vinny.

‘Have one for me on the way home. Alice’s Mam don’t keep any booze in the house,’ Jake grinned.

Vinny looked disgusted and, as he left, Emily heard him mutter, ‘Right bleeding do this will be. More like a wake than a weddin’ an’ the gob on ’er when I mentioned a bevvy. Me ma’s right.’ Although Emily didn’t agree with him she had to smile. Phoebe-Ann had already worked wonders on Jake Malone.

 

As the weeks went by, Lily was sure that Emily knew something although she denied it. Each time Lily questioned her she said, ‘Mam, if you would only go and see Phoebe-Ann yourself, she’ll explain . . .’

‘No! I’ll never speak to her again until she comes here and tells me it’s all off and that she’s learned her lesson.’

‘You know she won’t do that. But she is all right and Mrs Wainwright told me to tell you that she is doing everything to try to talk her out of it.’

‘It’s a bit late now. I should have put a stop to her running around with the likes of Alice Wainwright, then she’d never have met that . . . that “no mark”!’

‘Oh, Mam, you couldn’t have stopped her. She’s grown up.’

‘She’s not twenty-one. I could stop her and I could do it even now.’

‘Then why haven’t you?’

‘Because Albert said what good would it do. I’d have had to take her before the justices and the scandal of that! Then as soon as my back was turned she’d only run off to that place in Scotland, Gretna something or other, or worse, maybe even leave the country. It’s been done before and she’s such a trusting little fool. I just keep praying she’ll come to her senses and come home.’

Emily had patted her mother’s shoulder. ‘You do still worry about her, even though you say you don’t.’

‘How can I help it, Emily? She’s my own flesh and blood. I was so angry, I still am, but if she were to come in here now and tell me she was coming home I’d be the happiest woman in the whole of this city. All I can do is hope that by cutting her off she’ll stop and think.’

It was on the tip of Emily’s tongue to say that maybe they had misjudged him, that he did look as though he’d mended his ways, but then Lily would know she had seen him and spoken to him and that was something she couldn’t let happen, both for her mam’s and Phoebe-Ann’s sakes.

‘Mam, if you’d just see her.’

‘Don’t! Don’t Emily. I won’t hear another word.’

Emily had turned away, knowing it was a lost cause.