The Last Lone Wolf (12 page)

She smiled at him. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Jericho King. But you already said it before.”

“This is…different. I’ve got plenty more to say, Daisy Saxon,” he admitted. “Starting with—”

“Don’t.”

The proposal that had leaped to the tip of his tongue stayed locked inside when she shushed him by laying her fingertips against his mouth. Confusion rushed through him. Hell, he knew she’d guessed what he was about to say—so why did she stop him? “Daisy…”

“Before you say anything else, there’s something I have to tell you,” she whispered.

From outside came the clatter and noise of the men working to put away the firefighting equipment and getting the animals settled down again. They’d have to put the horses up in one of the outbuildings for the night. It wouldn’t be a long-term solution but for right now… Jericho dragged his mind back from the logistical problems facing him and instead focused on the woman watching him with a wary regret in her eyes.

“What is it?” His voice was low, his chest tight with the pressure of his breath backing up in his lungs. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she assured him and took a deep breath herself, as if trying to find her own balance before continuing the conversation. “But I have a feeling you were about to ask me to marry you…”

“And you don’t want to marry me?” Shock pumped
through him. Daisy, the woman to whom commitment was essential? The woman who longed for family was now going to turn down a proposal from the man she claimed to love? This had to be the weirdest situation he’d ever found himself in.

Jericho had never considered proposing to anyone before. Now that he was ready, the woman he loved was heading him off before he could say the words? What the hell was going on? “You said you love me.”

“I do,” she said quickly. Reaching up, she cupped his face in her hands and speared her gaze into his. “Oh, Jericho, I do love you. Completely. But I can’t marry you until I’m completely honest with you. I think we both need to be truthful with each other. So I’ll go first. I can’t let you ask me the question until you know the real reason I came here.”

“What?” The tension in the kitchen was alive and pulsing around them. So Jericho did what he always had when faced with a problem. He charged right at it. “What do you mean, the real reason?”

She blew out a breath, squared her shoulders and said, “I came here planning to seduce you, Jericho. I wanted a baby and I wanted
you
to be the father.”

E
verything in him went cold and still.

It was as if he were standing outside himself, a silent observer to a scene that had him both furious and baffled.

“You what?”

When she pulled back from him, he let her go. It was better to keep a distance right now. He didn’t know what he was feeling and his brain was racing from one thought to another.

“I wanted a family, Jericho,” she said, filling a thermos with the freshly brewed coffee. Her hands weren’t entirely steady though, and some of the hot, dark liquid spilled onto the countertop. “Brant was all I had. When I lost him…” She stopped, capped the thermos and turned to him. “I was crazy with grief for so long. Weeks, months, all I could do was mourn him. Mourn
the loss of my family. When I finally came up for air and realized that I needed to keep living, I knew I didn’t want to live alone.”

He didn’t know what to say to that so he held his silence and waited. It didn’t take her long to continue.

“You called me, remember?”

He nodded.

“You offered to help me for the sake of Brant. Because of the connection you two had had.”

“Yeah, but I don’t remember offering you a child.”

She flushed and even through the grime and soot on her face, Jericho could see the pink stain color her skin. “No, you didn’t. That was my idea. Don’t you see?

The Marine Corps stole my family. Brant died for his country, but with him gone, I was so alone. I hated it.

It tore at my heart until I thought I would die from the pain.”

Something inside him softened toward her. He knew what it was to experience loss. Hell, he’d seen grief destroy people. The fact that Daisy had not only risen above it but found the strength to go on was admirable.

But that didn’t explain the rest of it. Then she was talking again and Jericho told himself to listen.

“When I decided to have a child, I knew I wanted you to be the father,” she admitted. “You and Brant were friends. He admired you so much. And frankly, I thought, Jericho King is part of what took Brant from me—so what could be better than having you be the father of my new family?”

“I don’t believe this,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck hard enough to tear off a layer of skin. When
his gaze snapped to hers it was hard and brutal. “So all of this was a scheme? You’ve been playing me from the start?”

Before she could say anything, he answered his own question on a short laugh. “Of course you have. Damn me, I was sucked in, too. I actually believed you were exactly who you said you were. Hell,” he added, throwing his hands high and wide, “I even felt bad for ‘taking advantage of you.’ There’s a joke.”

“Jericho, let me explain—”

“No,” he said sharply. “Answer one question. Did your plan work? Are you pregnant?”

She took a deep breath and folded her hands across her middle as if already protecting something precious. “Yes. I took the test when I came in to make the first batch of coffee.”

“Bullshit,” he said. “We used protection.”

“Not the first night.”

Jericho’s world rocked precariously around him. His mind raced back to that first night when he’d come home to her and had been blinded by everything but the staggering hunger rampaging through him. No, he hadn’t used a condom. Hell, he’d been doing good to find the damn bed. He’d been blind for her. Conscious only of the need pounding in his veins.

So he couldn’t blame her entirely. He wanted to, God knew, because she’d tricked him. She’d made him believe. Made him trust and now she had shown herself as a liar.

“That’s perfect,” he muttered, turning from her to stare out the window at the men still working in the compound. From upstairs came Nikki’s frantic barks
and yips as she demanded to be freed from captivity. And behind him stood a woman who was carrying his child. “Jericho—”

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” he asked and didn’t really expect an answer.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” she said softly, “but I’m not sorry I came here. I was looking to find a family and instead I found
love.
” She took another breath and added, “Jericho, everything changed for me after I’d been here just a few days. I knew then that it wasn’t just a child I wanted. I wanted
you.
I love you.”

He snorted. “Handy. How you confess your love for me right after you find out you’re pregnant.”

“I told you before I knew.”

He laughed again. “And of course I believe you.”

“Why are you so angry?” she asked, taking a step toward him. “Because I lied to you or because I’m pregnant?”

Jericho didn’t have the answer to that. He could hardly believe that he was going to be a father, for God’s sake. That was a hard piece of truth to hand a man. Wasn’t he allowed a few minutes to take it in? To try to decide what he was feeling?

“I’m not talking about this now,” he muttered and snatched up the thermos she’d prepared. He turned and headed for the back door, but her voice stopped him before he could leave.

“Jericho, I’m not the only one with secrets. And nothing’s changed. I still love you. And you love me.”

He looked into her eyes and saw worry glittering in those whiskey-colored depths. But he couldn't assuage
it. Couldn’t give her what she needed. Not right now. “I don’t even know you,” he said and walked out to rejoin the men.

The next morning, he was gone.

She’d spent the night alone in her room, with only Nikki for company. She felt cold and lost and when she caught herself blindly reaching for him across an empty bed, the tears came.

How had this all become so confused? So twisted inside and out? In the long, sleepless hours of the night, Daisy had had time to think. To realize that she’d never really considered how her plan would affect Jericho.

Stupid, she knew, but in her quest to have a family, to become pregnant, she’d never stopped to think how her decision would affect him.

Three days later, Jericho was still gone and Daisy was no closer to figuring out exactly what it was she should do next. Walking into the kitchen, Nikki right alongside her, she put one hand to her abdomen and thought about the child already growing inside her.

Soon, she would have a baby. A family. But would that family ever be complete without her child’s father?

Nikki walked to the door, sat down and stared at it. Just as she had since Jericho left, as if she could make him appear with the power of her mind. Funny, Daisy thought, she and her dog were in the same boat. Both of them missing the only man either of them wanted.

The back door opened suddenly and she started, gaze shifting quickly, heartbeat accelerating, stomach pitching with an infusion of hope. Nikki yipped in excitement, then drooped to the floor. Daisy knew just how she
felt. The expectation she’d felt so briefly drained away as Sam stepped into the room. He must have seen the disappointment she felt written on her face because he gave her a wry smile.

“Sorry,” he said as he closed the door behind him. His eyes were kind and an understanding smile curved his mouth. “You don’t have to worry about him, you know. He does this occasionally.”

“Does what?” she asked. “Disappear?”

He shrugged and answered, “Yeah. You know that. He’ll go up into the high country whenever he feels things closing in on him. Sometimes he’s gone for days, sometimes longer.”

“Longer.” Fabulous. How would she ever last without seeing him? Talking to him? Making him listen to her? Jericho was a former Marine. He knew all about survival and getting by in the woods with no more than a piece of string and a knife. He could stay gone for weeks.

“It’s none of my business what’s going on between the two of you,” Sam said softly, “but whatever it is, you’ll work it out.”

“Not if he doesn’t come back.”

“He’ll be back.”

“I wish I was so sure,” she told him, moving across the room toward the refrigerator. She opened it, pulled out a bottle of water and opened it. After a long drink, she admitted, “He’s furious, Sam. What if he doesn’t come back?”

The older man gave her a smile. “He will. This is home. He’s never been able to stay away too long. Besides, he loves you.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Well, I do,” Sam said and walked to the coffeepot. Getting down a heavy mug, he poured himself a cup, took a sip and sighed. Then he continued, “I’ve known Jericho for years and I’ve never seen him the way he is with you.”

That was something, Daisy thought, hope beginning to rise inside her again. If Sam had seen something in Jericho change and grow, then maybe what they’d found together would be strong enough to get past what she was sure Jericho saw as a betrayal.

Oh, God, she had betrayed him. Hadn’t meant to, but she could see now how it would feel to Jericho. How he might not be able to trust her. How he might think she was using him. And how could she change his mind if he didn’t come back?

“Thank you,” she said, taking a seat at the high breakfast bar. Late morning light spilled through the windows, dazzling against the appliances. Outside, the sounds of construction rang out. Hammers, saws and the shouts of men as they worked together rebuilding the damaged section of the barn.

“That means a lot to me, Sam. But the truth is, I really hurt him. I didn’t mean to, but I did just the same.”

“He’s a big boy with thick skin. He’ll get over it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Usually am,” he said with a quick grin. Then his features sobered and he stared down into his coffee for a long moment before he looked at her again. “I haven’t said this to you before, but you coming here was a good thing, Daisy.”

“I’d like to think so,” she admitted. It would make her own sense of guilt much easier to bear. God, she
kept seeing the flash of emotion in Jericho’s eyes and it all but choked her. She’d been so happy when she saw the positive pregnancy test. So pleased that she’d gotten her wish. That she was carrying Jericho’s baby.

Then, when she was sure he was going to propose, she hadn’t been able to let him go through with it. Not without telling him the truth. Now she didn’t know what to do. What to feel. She had her baby, but had she lost Jericho forever?

“How can it be a good thing,” she said quietly, “if my coming here has made him so miserable?”

“Everybody gets mad, honey. Can’t go through life without wanting to kick the furniture once in a while. But I’ve noticed that the only people who can really set us off are the ones who matter.”

“You think?”

“I’m not the only one who’s noticed the change in Jericho, you know.” He locked his eyes with hers as if trying to impress upon her just how important what he was about to say was to him. “He’s easier with everyone. Like a heavy weight’s been lifted off his shoulders. When your brother died, it tore him up some.”

Tears welled in her eyes at the mention of Brant and the reminder that her brother and the man she loved had once been close. “I know they were friends.”

“They were,” Sam agreed. “But it was more than that. As often happens to those who serve together, Jericho and Brant became more brothers than friends. Suppose he already told you how hard it hit him when that kid died. Guess you know how Jericho struggled for a long time with wondering whether he might have prevented Brant’s death.”

A ball of ice dropped into the pit of her stomach. “Prevented it?”

“You always wonder, you know,” he said, shifting his gaze to the commotion on the other side of the window. “Hell, years later, I still see faces in my sleep. Of the men I served with. The ones I saw die and I ask myself…could I have done something different? Could I have changed that somehow?”

Was that all it was? she asked herself. Was Jericho haunted by the images of what might have been? Or was there more to it? Had he had the opportunity to save her brother? Her breath came faster now as she listened and, though she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer, she had to ask the question.

“Why did Jericho think he could have saved Brant?”

The older man whipped his head around to meet her gaze, and he must have seen that she’d known nothing about this. That he’d told her something that Jericho had been keeping from her. And panic flickered briefly over his features before they once again became carefully blank.

“Uh,” he said, setting the coffee mug down onto the counter. “Don’t mind me, my mouth starts running, there’s no telling what might come out of it. I better get out there, ride herd on those guys and make sure they’re hammering everything together right.”

“Sam…” She hopped off the high kitchen stool and stared at him. Her heartbeat was staggering wildly, as if it couldn’t quite find the regular rhythm. Her breath was whooshing in and out of her lungs and her mind was screaming. It was all she could do to keep her voice
low and controlled. “Tell me. Did Jericho let my brother die?”

“No, he did not,” the older man said tightly. “But I can see I spoke out of turn. Whatever else happened is for Jericho to tell or not as he sees fit. I admire you a lot, Daisy. But this is not my story to tell. Now, excuse me, I’m going back to work.”

Stunned, she simply stood there, speechless. What did it mean? Was this the secret Jericho had been keeping from her? What had happened on the day Brant died? What was Jericho hiding?

Alone in the bright, cheerful kitchen, with sunlight pooling all around her, Daisy felt as if she were at the bottom of a deep, dark hole.

Sam would have been surprised to know that Jericho hadn’t gone to the high country at all. Instead, he’d steered his Jeep down the mountain and had driven directly to Justice’s ranch. He’d needed to talk to somebody, to try to straighten out everything that was in his head and he had known that Justice would talk straight and say exactly what he was thinking—whether Jericho liked it or not.

“You really are an idiot, aren’t you?” Justice shook his head in disgust and took a long drink of his beer.

“Thanks. Now I remember why I came to you.” Jericho jumped up from his chair and stalked the perimeter of the ranch office. He’d always liked this room. It was purely masculine and the one spot Justice had been able to defend from Maggie’s influences. Every other inch of the ranch had been transformed or redecorated, but here, Justice drew a line.