The Fire Sisters (Brilliant Darkness 3) (11 page)

I smack at him. Joking about my Sightlessness is an old and time-honored tradition between Calli, Bear, and me. I rub my chest right over the spot that always seems to ache when I think of my other best friend.

“I was hoping we’d run across some other survivors,” he says. “Not a couple of run-down shelters and a pile of old bones.”

“Do you think there
are
survivors besides the
anuna
, the Sisters, and us?”
And the sick ones.

“Probably. It’s a big world out there, bigger than I even dreamed. The Restless is pretty amazing. And the forest is changing; the mix of trees and the terrain is different. Where does the Restless go? What else could be out there? I want to see more.” His leg twitches against mine, like he can’t wait to jump up and go explore, rain and sick ones and all.

“Not me. I want to get the children and deliver us all back to Koolkuna. Then maybe I can think about what’s next.” I press a swollen spot on my shin, courtesy of an angry stump, and lower my voice. “Besides, I’m pretty sure the forest here has a secret plot to kill me.”

Bear touches a group of itchy scratches on my arm. “The bushes are in on it.”

I reach down to a welt around one of my ankles. “And the vines.”

He nudges my shoulder. “Yeah, you’re done for.”

“I know. Some star in the sky I am.”

He chuckles and nudges my shoulder with his own. “You
are
different, you know? Since you started collecting the water.”

I tilt my head. Do I want to hear this? A lot of things are different, both good and bad.

“Being with you used to be like… sitting by a small, warm fire. All sweetness and light. That’s why I hung around you and Calli after my parents died. You two were the only things that kept the darkness away.”

I smile, remembering. We were a trio, a team. We did everything together.

He pauses, selecting his words. “You always did what you were told. Did your duty. You didn’t really stand up for yourself. Remember when the Three sent you outside to spend the night with the Scourge as punishment? You didn’t say a word. Bet you wouldn’t do that now.”

I flush at the reminder. Being publicly humiliated by the Three was awful. He’s right—if that happened now, I would fight it.

“But then you found the Hidden Waters,” he goes on. “You convinced a lot of Groundlings to go to Koolkuna
with
a bunch of Lofties. You kept us from killing each other along the way. Now you’re like… an unlit torch. The promise of sweetness and light is still there, but there’s also more potential. People respect you. Groundlings and Lofties. The
anuna.
Even Moray.” He must see the look of confusion on my face. “He called you brave. Moray doesn’t sling compliments around often.”

“He also called me stupid.”

“It’s
Moray
we’re talking about. He can’t give without taking away.”

“What about Kai? She clearly thinks I’m an idiot.”

“Nah. If she did, she’d be nicer to you.”

I laugh. “What?”

“People are always nicer to the people they think are idiots. It’s the only way they can hide the way they
really
feel. Kai might hate you because you got to Peree before she could, but she doesn’t think you’re an idiot. You can see it when she looks at you: the envy and the admiration.”

I groan. Face reading again. But… Kai might
admire
me? I’ve never gotten one tiny hint of that. Envy, maybe, but I always chalked that up to my relationship with Peree.

“But Bear,” my voice drops to a whisper. “Doing those things you said… they… they got Aloe and Eland killed.”

He wraps an arm around me. “No, Fenn. Spears and arrows killed them. Other people. Not you.”

I swipe at my eyes with my sleeve. That’s not entirely true. I
know
the decisions I made at least contributed to their deaths. What I don’t know is if I can handle that kind of responsibility again now that I’ve lived through the aftermath. Maybe I
want
to be a follower, a worker bee. Is that so bad? At least I wouldn’t put the people I care about in danger.

“So… is this new me a good thing or a bad thing?” I ask.

He laughs. “Probably depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you.”

“Then it’s a good thing. You’re like a tougher version of your old self. Although I still think you worry about other people too much. It’s your strong suit and your weak spot. Like… why are you even here? You could have stayed in Koolkuna with Peree and been all happy and safe right now.”

I scoff. “As if we’d do that when Kora and the other children were stolen and the
anuna
were blaming us for it.”

“You’re proving my point.”

“You should talk. Why are
you
here?”

“Like I said before, I wanted to help. And… I like lost causes.” The warmth in his voice tells me he’s talking about more than rescuing the children, but I ignore it.

“Do you think that’s what this is? A lost cause?”

He doesn’t answer for a long time. “I hope not.”

As the storm wears on, and the sick ones moan outside the cave, Bear and I settle into an easy silence. I’m glad we talked; he seems good, better than before. But even as I prune some of the weeds of worry in the garden of my thoughts, others grow.

Where are Peree and Kai?

When I finally give up trying to really sleep, I feel like someone tied sacks of sand to my legs to drag around, and sprinkled a little in my eyes for good measure. I sit listening for Peree and Kai. Nothing.

In desperation, I ask the sick ones to leave. I can’t tell if they understand me, but
… maybe they do.
 Little by little, just after dawn, their cries and howls fade into the forest until there are only a few left by the cave. And then they’re gone.

The rain peters out, too. The forest drips dry, its laundry of leaves fresh and clean again. I step outside a few minutes after the last sick ones disappear, leaving Bear and the rest of the group inside the cave stirring awake, mumbling to each other.
The morning light is intense. 
I yell for Peree and Kai.

“Fenn!”

Peree's voice comes from a distance, but it’s him. My heart prances.

“Where are you?” I push past vegetation, finding and weaving around the trunks of trees.
Wet leaves pad the ground under my feet, probably torn down by the rain. 
I didn’t bring my stick, so it’s slow going.

“Be right there.” He sounds as if he's over my head.

“Are you in the trees?”

Thump, thump, thump.
Something hammers to the ground not far away.

“Peree? What was that?”

“Breakfast. A family of possums. Caught ‘em foraging around up here last night.” He still sounds like he’s in the air.

“Where have you been? I was so worried!” I call.

“Why?” Kai also sound high up. “It’s not like he can’t take care of himself.”

“Bear came back without you two! He didn’t know where you went.” The poor night’s rest shortens my temper; I struggle to keep my voice calm. “Of course I worried.”

Footsteps shuffle behind me.

“Peree, Kai—what happened to you last night?” Bear sounds sleepy.

“We climbed a tree. We yelled to you, but you didn’t hear us with the rain and the sick ones,” Peree says.

“Told ya.” Bear nudges me. “I’ll grab my knife for those possums.”

He moves back toward the cave. I stay, fidgeting with the hem of my dress, irritation scuttles up and down my spine. I can’t brush it off.

“We found a network of platforms and walkways in the trees, like at home!” Peree says. “Kai said they were here somewhere, but we didn’t know they were so close. The rain must have made them hard to see. They’re old and a little patchy, but we can use them. We explored around for a while last night before we lost the light. The walkways basically run in the same direction as the path, but with a better view.”

He sounds well rested and thrilled to be in the trees again. Both things I’m definitely not. His chipper tone makes me even grumpier.

“Are you coming down?” I ask.

“We thought we’d look around a little more now that it’s light. I’ll be down in a bit.”

Resisting yelling a curt
fine,
I sort of wave instead, and turn back to help get breakfast ready. At least we’ll have a hearty meal to the start the day; we didn’t manage one yesterday.

Everyone’s coming out of the cave now that the rain has stopped and the sick ones are gone. Derain builds up the fire outside while Amarina says she'll search around for wild greens and herbs to add to some potatoes for a possum stew. When Bear finishes skinning and preparing the animals, I help
 Conda chop up the greasy meat
. But as the possum stews, so do I. Peree and Kai still aren’t back.

They come down soon after, bursting with enthusiasm about the walkways in the trees. We all clean up and pack up so we’re ready to leave as soon as the meal is ready. I’m crouched in a dark corner at the back of the cave repacking my things after changing into my only other dress, when Peree finally comes to find me. I stand when I hear his long stride.

He touches my bird carving as a greeting, and then kisses me. His lips are soft and his breath as honey-sweet as ever, but I don’t melt into him. I’m not in the mood.

“Is anything wrong? You’re quiet,” he says.

“I’m fine.”

Normally, I would reach for him: hold his hands, hug him, put his fingertips on my mouth and smile to reassure him. My hands stay by my sides.

“Fenn, what is it?”

I shake my head. “Nothing. I’m tired. It was a long night.”

He pauses. “About that. I’m sorry I worried you. We weren’t far away when we saw the sick ones coming. We all started running toward the cave, but Kai got tripped up. I stopped to help her, and Bear didn’t hear me yell. I was feeling… strange. So Kai and I climbed into the trees. Shocked the hell out of us to see the walkways up there.”

“Feeling strange? How?”

“The sick ones.” He sounds ashamed, like he should have been stronger, able to resist the poison building in his body.

I reach out and take one of his hands. “Cuda had trouble with them, too.”

“He did? What happened?”

As I tell him, he steps a little closer. Then I step a little closer. And before I know it, our bodies are pressed together and my mouth is on his. Maybe I am in the mood after all. Or maybe I really am helpless—at least when it comes to Peree.

“I missed you last night,” he whispers in my ear after a minute. “I miss being alone with you.”

“Me, too.” I press kisses into the new beard covering his jaw and neck. The stubble scratches my chin. “At least you had Kai to snuggle with.” I’m teasing, but he stiffens.

"What?" I ask.

He kisses me again, pulling me firmly against him as if to stop me from asking more questions.

I lay my hands on his chest and push myself away. “Peree… what?”

He squirms. “She… she… made it clear what she wants last night.”

My hands clench into fists. “And what’s that?”

As if I have to ask.
It seems perfectly clear, even for someone who can’t see her face.

“
Nothing
happened, Fenn. I told her that I love you. That I only want you. I told her she was out of line. But she’s… determined.”

He sounds ashamed again. Why? It’s not his fault Kai can’t take a hint. She can’t even take a full-on rejection. Unless he’s not telling me everything?
No
. I trust Peree.

I turn my back to him and jam my fingers into my hair. “What is
wrong
with her?”

He steps in close behind me and extracts my hands, trapping them gently between his. Leaning over my shoulder, he kisses my neck.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I like Kai, but the way she treats you drives me crazy. I wish she’d be nice.”

“Nice? I’d settle for being ignored again.”

I hate biting my tongue when Kai hurls her mean-spirited barbs. I hate acting like it doesn’t bother me every time she finds a way to be alone with Peree, especially now that I know she’s making her designs on him clear. I guess I don’t have to do those things, but it seems silly and petty to fight with her. We need to focus on getting to the children. Still, I can’t take much more of her.

“Stew’s ready,” Conda yells from outside.

I take a long breath, shake my hair back, and pick up my pack. Peree catches my hand as we duck out of the cave. He rubs circles into my skin with his thumb.

“I’m staying with you today. Kai or Bear or someone else can take point.”

I smile. “I’d like that.”

While we eat, I do my best to shake off the vexation that’s stuck to me like a patch of goat-heads. The possum stew, aromatic with herbs and flavorful despite the limited cooking time, does its best to distract me.

Cuda’s quiet as we eat—no groaning or muttering. It worries me that Peree’s beginning to feel the effects of the poison, too. It must increasingly taint the water as we move farther from Koolkuna. We need to somehow stay out of the sick ones’ way, especially if and when we ever get the children and start back home. Those hopes dim with every passing night.

We hit the trail again, moving faster than we have in a long time with our bellies full, the sky clear, and the path open. Everyone spreads out, but true to his word, Peree stays toward the back with me. He doesn’t let go of my hand. Someone falls in beside us.

Conda greets us.

“How’s Cuda doing?” I ask.

“He has a headache, but he’s not confused or sick anymore. I think he’s humiliated. He doesn’t remember everything about last night, but he knows he went crazy. Doesn’t help that Moray won’t let it drop.”

“Why?” I ask.

“I don’t know. Because it made Cuda look weak or something.” He sounds like he doesn’t agree, but he’s afraid to say so.

After a while, I hear Kai’s voice from the front.

“Look—we can climb that tree right there. Easy. If we go up, we won’t have to worry about the
runa
, and we’ll have a better view of where we’re going. We should be getting close to the Cloister now.”