The Cabin (The Cabin Novellas (Book One)) (6 page)

Eight

He gripped my hand and pulled me back from the edge. To feel his hand again after so long sent gooseflesh up my arm. I peered through the fog at him. Could it really be Quinn? The fog coiled and shifted around us like smoke. He looked at me, his clear blue eyes as sharp and as keen as I remembered them to be. How could I ever have forgotten them? He smiled tenderly at me with those full lips which covered the lower half of his strong face. His dark brown hair was wet with rain.

Gasping at the very sight of him standing before me like an apparition, I pulled my hand from his. He didn’t resist and let my hand fall away.

“What are you doing here?” I said, my heart leaping into my throat.

“I recognised your voice,” he explained over the sound of the wind and lashing rain. “How could I have ever forgotten it?”

My mind scrambled as I tried to make sense of what he had told me. Then, looking at him, I said, “That was you? It was you in that confessional box?”

“Yes,” he said with a slow nod of his head.

“But how...why?” I whispered.

“They sent me to this godforsaken place after we were discovered that night...” he started.

“No...Stop!” I said, raising my hand to him. “I don’t want to think about that. I’ve been trying to forget what happened between us for the last few years, and I don’t want to be reminded of...”

“Is that why you wanted to make your confession?” Quinn said, staring at me through the fog and rain. “Or should I say, that’s why you
couldn’t
make your confession. You haven’t been able to forget, and neither have I.”

“I’ve moved on, Quinn,” I breathed. “I’ve started a new life...”

“You’ve got married and you’ve rented the honeymoon cabin...” he started.

“How do you know about that?” I said, feeling slightly unnerved he knew so much about my new life. Had he somehow been watching me from afar since he left...
ran away
?

Quinn reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the brochure I had lost. “You dropped it as you fled my church,” he said, staring at me. “Perhaps you dropped it deliberately?”

“Give me a break,” I said, snatching it from him. “I didn’t know you were the priest waiting to hear my confession.”

“Look, we can’t talk out here,” he said, reaching for my hand again.

I jerked my hand from his reach. “I’m not going anywhere without Nathan...without my
husband
,” I insisted, glaring at him.

“I saw him heading in the direction of the cabin,” Quinn said. “I can take you there. I’ve been living out here long enough to know this place like the back of my hand – fog or no fog.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I said angrily, still unable to comprehend how the very man who I had once loved was now standing on the side of a mountain with me on my honeymoon. Was it fate? Coincidence? Bad luck? I didn’t believe in any of those things. The hand of God, then? I doubted that very much.

“You can’t stand out here all night and you won’t find the cabin without my help,” he said, offering his hand to me again.

Even after all this time, I felt a sudden urge to take his hand in mine. Instead, I shoved my hands into my coat pocket. Brushing past him, I said, “You can show me where the cabin is, but don’t think I’m talking to you. I have nothing to say.”

Quinn led me through the fog, which seemed to grow thicker and thicker with every passing second. At times he seemed no more than a dark blur as he walked silently beside me. What was he doing here? What were the chances of me coming to such a remote place, and the very church I seek out to make my confession is where the very man who I need to confess about is the parish priest? Thinking about it made my head and heart thump. When I had finally found the courage to show my husband my scars and tell him how I got them, the man who was responsible for my hurt freaking appears out of the fog. Maybe someone or something was trying to tell me that my secret should never be told. But I had to. If I were to ever have a life with Nathan, he had to know the truth. How could I tell it now, knowing that the man who had, up until this point, prevented me from moving on with my life had just reappeared
back in it? Quinn Nolan had lingered in my life like a shadow – in the basement where I’d tried to hide everything with the light switched off. Tonight of all nights, he had switched the light back on and crept out of the basement. How could that be? Why would that be? It wasn’t fair. I didn’t want to be reminded of what we once had. I didn’t want to think about the secret love we had shared. I didn’t want to awaken those illicit feelings our secret relationship had once stirred in me – moved me to become his lover. That was done with now. I had a new man – a good man. I had found love with another...but not the kind of love I’d felt for Quinn. And that’s why I just wanted him to go. Why awaken those raw feelings? It would be just too freaking painful.

Quinn slowed.

“Be careful,” he warned over the howl of the wind. “There are some steps.”

I looked down and could just make out a set of wooden steps. I slowly climbed them, finding myself standing on the porch outside the cabin. Quinn stood next to me and my heart was racing. We had reached the cabin.

“You should go now,” I said, my head bowed, so as not to look into his eyes again. I didn’t want to be caught in his stare.

“Mia, we should talk,” he said.

“My husband’s inside,” I said back.

“There are no lights on,” he pointed out, inching nearer to me. I didn’t move; I felt rooted to the spot.

I kept looking away from him and said, “He’ll be here any moment. I don’t want him to see you.”

“Have you told him about me?” he asked.

“There is nothing to tell,” I breathed sharply.

“You know that’s not true, Mia,” he said, inching closer across the porch and through the fog.

“If Nathan should arrive...” I started.

“Your husband won’t be back tonight,” Quinn said.

“How do you know?” I asked, fighting the urge to turn and face him. Even though he had to raise the level of his voice to be heard over the roar of the wind, it still sounded as soft as it always had.

“I met your husband on the path before I found you,” Quinn started to explain. “I pointed him in the wrong direction...”

“You did what!” I snapped at him, now lifting my head to stare straight back at him. “What a dangerous and stupid thing to do!”

“Don’t worry, he isn’t in any danger,” Quinn said, his eyes meeting mine. “I pointed him back down the mountain. He would have reached the road again by now. There is no fog that low. He will make his way back into the village. He’ll be perfectly safe.”

“But he will be worried about me!” I shouted.

“He doesn’t have to worry, you’re perfectly safe,” Quinn said.

“Nathan doesn’t know that,” I said in disbelief. “For all he knows, I could have fallen...”

“Why don’t you call him?” Quinn suggested.

“I can’t get a signal,” I snapped.

“The fog will clear soon enough and you’ll be able to get a signal, then you’ll be able to call him,” Quinn said.

Looking at him and feeling angry, I said, “So if you pointed Nathan in the direction off the mountain, why didn’t you lead me down, too?”

“Because I want to talk to you,” Quinn said, so close now it would have been difficult to slip a piece of paper between us.

“Like I said, there is nothing to say,” I shot back at him.

“This happened for a reason,” he said.

“What did?” Although I knew exactly what he was talking about. There were no such things as coincidences. 

“Us meeting again,” he said, slowly taking my hand from my coat pocket. 

Again, I pulled my hand from his reach.

“Give me just five minutes?” he said. “Then if you still want me to take you down the mountain to your husband, I will.”

“Five minutes or an hour, of course I’ll want you to take me to my husband,” I snapped, staring hard into his eyes to prove I meant what I said.

“Okay, five minutes,” he said, turning to face the cabin.

Slowly, I took the keys to the cabin from my pocket and opened the door.

I stepped into the cabin. Quinn closed the door behind me, drowning out the sound of the wind. I heard a ‘click’ as he switched on the lights. A series of lamps came on, gently bathing the cabin in warm orange light. The cabin was described just like it said in the brochure. The ceiling was covered in oak beams; there were plenty of soft furnishings, and a huge stone fireplace. To my right there was an open doorway. I looked into what had been described as the ‘romantic master suite.’ There was a giant sized bed covered in fine silk sheets, cushions, and pillows. What looked like red rose petals had been lightly scattered over the bed. I looked away, blocking out the sudden image of Quinn making love to me on that bed. That wasn’t going to happen. That was the bed I’d come to share with Nathan and no one else.

With my back turned to Quinn as I still found it difficult to look at him, I heard him slowly approach me. I crossed my arms over my chest. He stopped just behind me. I could hear him breathing over the sound of my racing heart. I felt scared, but didn’t know why. Quinn was no threat to me. He wasn’t going to hurt me – not again.

“Why are you trembling?” he asked softly.

“I’m cold,” I lied.

“I’ll light the fire,” he suggested.

“There’s no point,” I said, still unable to face him. I knew I had to keep my feelings under control. I couldn’t afford to give myself away. “We won’t be staying long. Just say whatever it is you feel is so important, and then take me to my husband.”

“I’m still in love with you,” he said.

I felt his hands fall gently on my shoulders. Shrugging them off, I span around to finally look at him. “Don’t you dare!” I said, screwing my hands into fists at my sides. “You have no right to say that to me.”

“But it’s true, Mia,” he said, staring at me, his face solemn-looking. In the lamplight, I could see that he hadn’t aged at all over the last four years. He looked no older than his age, which I figured was now twenty-six.

“It’s not true,” I hissed, tears now in my eyes. “If you loved me, you would’ve never hurt me.”

“I didn’t mean to,” he said, now looking ashamed as he saw the tears spill onto my cheeks.

“I was just eighteen and you used me,” I said, fighting to keep a hold on my feelings. I refused to break down in front of him. I refused to let him see the hurt he had caused me. “I loved you and you broke my heart.”

“It hasn’t been easy for me, either...” he started.

“Easy!” I said, spraying mock laughter at him. “You have no idea what I’ve been through. I haven’t been able to move on because of the scars.”

“I’ve got emotional scars, too,” he said, his face looking ashen.

“I’m not just talking about emotional scars,” I snapped. “I’m talking about those other scars. The scars which are a constant reminder of you and the shame I feel.”

“What are you talking about?” Quinn gasped, shaking his head in bewilderment. “What scars?”

I felt like I had been punched. How could he not know about the scars? “Don’t lie to me,” I hissed, wiping the tears from my face with the balls of my hands.

“Honestly, Mia, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, taking a step closer towards me, his face a mask of concern. He held out his arms as if to comfort me and I brushed them away.

I hadn’t considered for one moment in all the time we had been apart that he might not have known about them. “The nun who discovered us that night together in your room,” I said, trying to control my frustration and anger at him.

“Sister Martin Mary?” Quinn cut in.

“Yeah, that was her name,” I said, as if suddenly swallowing a mouthful of poison. “The one who said I was evil and a whore. The sister who said I had been born with the devil inside of me. The nun who said I had seduced you and tempted you away from God. The one who said all of those things while you just stood and watched.”

Quinn dropped his head shamefully. “I didn’t know what to do. I’d been caught having sex with you...I was young...”

“And so was I,” I cut over him. “It was my eighteenth birthday, remember?”

“I’ve never been able to forget,” he whispered. Now it was he who couldn’t bring himself to look at me.

“You said you loved me, but you couldn’t stand up for me,” I said, tears continuing to stream silently down the length of my face. “You looked on as she said those things about me. You left me so she could humiliate me.”

“I never left you,” he said, glancing up at me. “I got sent away – far away. They sent me miles from anyone. This was my punishment.”

“You call being sent to live out here a punishment?” I nearly choked on my words. “I’ll show you how they punished me.”

Before Quinn had the chance to say anything, I was yanking my coat off. I chucked it on the floor, along with my sweater and shirt. Standing in my bra, I crossed my arms over my breasts and turned around, showing him my back.