The C Word (Just a Word Book 1) (10 page)

“What
happened? Did the mate find her?”

“She was there
for several days before he did and she and Mum had grown close. They had talked
and shared their hopes for their children and they had agreed that if her mate
didn’t find her over the next few days then perhaps she would stay with the
pack. Dad had everyone on alert, he was confident they would be okay.”

“But they
weren’t?”

“No. Business
had called him away that day. He had not intended to leave the estate again
until his child had been born, but this couldn’t wait. He was three hours away
when Mum called to him through their bond. He came home to chaos. The woman had
gone into labour and her mate had tracked her quickly. The pack had fought, but
the attack was swift. Mum had been injured and had sadly lost their baby, a
girl, who she was still cradling when Dad found her. The pack had acted quickly
when they had a chance and had the alpha trapped in a safe room my parents had
installed to keep attackers out. But it had held him successfully while they
tended to my mum and Cadi, that was her name.”

“That must
have been tough for your dad.”

“He felt
responsible.”

“For bringing
that woman into his home, I can understand that.”

“No not for
that. He felt responsible for leaving them that day when they needed him. That’s
what I admire about my dad. He never questioned that bringing Cadi into the
pack was the right thing to do, because although they lost something that day,
the gained something too and he trusts that things happen as they are supposed
to. To him, helping someone in need is always the right thing to do.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“So what
happened next?”

“Cadi had
given birth to a boy, but she knew she couldn’t run from her mate or his pack
forever. She knew her son would never be safe with her and she wanted him to be
raised away from his kind. The McQueens could do that. My dad is a strong alpha,
she knew he could imprint the child with his scent and guide him, so that no
one would ever know he was not his own.”

“So she gave
you to them?”

I nod. “Yes.
She sat with Mum and told her about the kind of man she hoped I would be. She
asked them to teach me to be kind and to love and she asked that they give me a
happy life. Then she handed me to my new father and let him claim me with his
scent.”

T’s lips form
a smile in the darkness. I don’t think it’s pity, but I’m quick to assure him I
don’t need it if it is. “I am a McQueen. My mother gave me to my parents for a
better life than she could hope to give me. My father says she went into the
safe room and put an end to the feud that was certain to ruin my life. She
sacrificed herself. I don’t feel any sadness, this happened for a reason. I’m
not sure yet what that reason is, but I am grateful for the chance I was given.”

“Your life
could have been very different.”

“Yes. So you
see now why control is everything. I know what I could become, so I do
everything I can to stay who I want to be. I’m very lucky; I have a loving
family,
We
are the same fundamentally, I’m just
stronger.”

“No. You’re
not the same, you’re really quite different from them. Don’t you know that?”

“The
difference between us has never been tested, because I made the decision early
in my life that in order to be who I wanted to be, I would suppress that part
of myself. I can’t allow that side of me to take control and I keep the bond
with my father closed, for the same reason I can’t ever take a mate. I can’t
trust what is inside me.”

He stares at
me in disbelief. “It’s not a disease.”

Damn, I’ve
never heard it described that way, but that just about hits the nails on the
head. “Sure feels like it.”

“Well it’s
not. It’s who you are. You shouldn’t deny it.”

“Easy for you
to say.”

“How is it
any easier for me to say? It’s who I am too. I just don’t hide from it.”

“You were
hiding it when I met you! You go around projecting human.”

“Being around
you had me on high alert, your weird vibes threw me and so I closed off for
protection. But I’m comfortable with who I am.”

“Lucky you.
But you grew up around your family right? You had nothing to hide.”

“No. You said
your brothers knew?”

“They do, all
the family does. And my Father’s beta. But we are a big pack and we are close,
I’ve lived as one of them so that I fit in.”

“So you only
shift to wolf?”

“I don’t
shift.”

“What?” He is
shocked by my revelation.

“I don’t
shift”, I repeat stubbornly.

“You don’t
use any of your powers?”

“I didn’t say
that. The senses are handy, but I keep the physical things mostly locked away.”

“Damn.” T
laughs and runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back away from his eyes. “You’re
missing out.”

“On
what?
 

“Living!”

“My life is
just fine.”

“It could be
so much more.”

“Again, easy
for you to say, your parents raised you, you’ve been raised by example.”
Something flashes in his eyes, a hint of sadness?

“They did
raise you didn’t they?” I ask

“They did.”

“And so you
know exactly who you are and what you’re capable of.”

After a long
pause he nods.

“Well from
what I know of my parents, my father was an animal that my mother tried to run
away from so that I didn’t become like him and when shit hit the fan she killed
him and herself to save me. I have no idea what I’m truly capable of and to be
honest I never want to find out.”

T is silent
for a long time, but he keeps hold of my hand. It’s comforting. We approach the
bend that leads towards the estate the long way and briefly, I eye the shortcut
that I only ever take alone.

“Have you never wanted to know how strong you are? Or what it feels
like to run faster than you can imagine on these two legs? Or what it feels
like to fly?”

I close my
eyes and stop dead, swallowing. I never wanted these powers and have absolutely
no
 
regrets
about dismissing them, but the desire to fly creeps into my dreams. Since I was
a child I have had a recurring dream that I shift into an eagle and fly away.

“I’m sorry,”
he says gently through the bond.

Drawing in a
long breath, I open my eyes into his. The green, like deep pools glinting in
the moonlight, drawing me in. I could lose myself in there. It feels like home.

I want to
change the subject and I glance again at the shortcut. A smile forms on my
lips. Fuck it, I’ve told him all my secrets, I can show him this. Letting go of
his hand I turn and cross to the other side of the deserted country road.

“What are you
doing?”

Facing him on
the other side of the road, I can see both ways on the sharp bend. It’s the
only place that’s really safe to do this, because although this road is mostly
deserted this time of night, people who use it know it well and drive like
idiots.

“Max?” he
asks, crossing the road to stand next to me.

I grin. “Taking
a short cut.” Before he can respond I launch across the road in a sprint,
leaping over the grass embankment between the trees and vaulting the
ten foot
wall. Two bounds
is
all it
takes, skimming the surface of the wall until my hands land squarely on the top
edge. My momentum carries me over the top and I drop down on the other side,
landing on both feet with a practiced ease.

I step away
from where I landed and lean against the wall, waiting. A stick breaking is all
I hear before T comes sailing over the top and lands in a crouching position a
few feet from me. He straightens up and turns to find me, grinning and stalks
towards me with intent. I find myself pinned to the wall by his body and my
breath catches as I wait for his kiss. His hands slide behind my neck,
spreading through my hair and drawing me close until our lips are almost
touching.

“That’s some
short cut City Boy.” Looking over his shoulder, he looks around the small
garden. I know that like me, he can see clearly even in the darkness. “Where
are we?” he asks.

“A secret
garden.”

“Hmmm,” he
muses, “are we trespassing?”

I incline my
head and shrug. “It’s pack land.” We are still trespassing. This garden is
secret for a reason, kept locked tight. When he finds out I brought someone
else here, he’ll have kittens. But I’m not afraid of him and tonight, I’m
feeling reckless.

This garden
has been my salvation for a long time
, ,
I used to
jump the wall to out-run my brothers: it’s too high for them. One day, I jumped
it in a different place and ended up here. It’s damp and dark surrounded by
imposing walls on all sides and a tree canopy all around it. I’m not a big fan
of the great outdoors, but this space is special and I used to come here a lot,
that is, until my scent was discovered.

“So we
shouldn’t be in here?” His fingers tighten in my hair.

Slowly and
very slightly, I shake my head. “No, but no one else can get in. We won’t be
disturbed.” I try to capture his lips with mine, but he holds himself just far
enough away.

“See, being
you has some benefits.” He smiles slowly, his lips skim over mine and I shiver.

I roll my
eyes in the darkness. “Shut up and kiss me.”

“Demanding
aren’t you?” he murmurs, capturing my lips with his.

I moan, his
kiss is masterful and strong and my cock stirs as he presses his body against
mine. His hands slide out of my hair and down over my shoulders, caressing as
they go. Reluctantly, his body peels away from mine to allow them passage
downwards. He kneads my pecs through the fabric of my T-shirt and grazes my
nipples. His fingers gather the hem of my T-shirt, working it up my stomach to
my chest, he pulls away from the kiss and I chase his lips hoping to pull him
back in. That’s when I realise I had my eyes closed and I open them to see him
watching me with a sexy smile.

“Open,” he
demands, his eyes flitting to my lips.

I oblige
gladly, hoping he will feed me his cock soon enough. Instead, he places the
gathered hem of my T-shirt there.

“Bite.” The
word is an instruction, but I can feel the command and my pulse starts racing.

My palms
flatten against the coarse brick behind me. I have no idea why, but imagining I
have no choice but to keep them there, makes me harder still. T dips his head
and licks over my nipple and I draw air in through my nose and whimper. His
warm breath indicating where he will next lick, suck or bite as he makes his
way down. I close my eyes again and focus on the heat of him as he descends
until he is kneeling in front of me. Finally as he nips the skin above the
waistband of my boxers, I feel his hands on the fly of my jeans.

I bite back
the groan of relief and anticipation and adjust my mouth around the fabric I’m
holding there. He lowers my jeans a few inches, and with both hands, begins to
slowly peel down my boxers, kissing and licking every new millimetre of exposed
skin until my hard cock springs free.

“Damn.”
With his fingers touching my skin, I can hear his
thoughts and I grin and bite down harder on my T-shirt so as not to lose my
grip. He told me to bite and I will.

Submission?…
to
him? Interesting.

I shiver.

His tongue
running the underside of my cock from root to tip snatches me out of my
thoughts and I think of nothing but sensation as I slide into the warmth of his
mouth. A muffled moan escapes as his expert tongue caresses the head. I’m
grateful for the gag, which stops me from crying out when he plunges down over
my full length.

His stifled
moan as I ease into his throat is a sound that really can’t be beat and the
sensation it creates is fucking heaven.

“Fu-uck,”
I growl low in my head. My fingers flex against
the wall, wanting to grab his hair and take control. I manage to still them,
instead imagining my wrists in leather cuffs, tethered to the cool
surface.
   

“Good boy,”
he murmurs through the bond and pins my wrists to
the wall with his hands. I clench my teeth against the T-shirt and growl, my
hips itching to thrust forward, but I hold it in. I must be sharing thoughts
while I’m fighting with myself. I’m shocked I’m letting him have the control. I
only relinquish it to one, for a good reason. Because he knows what he is
dealing with. T is messing with all my rules, but it feels amazing and if he
carries on with this ‘good boy’ stuff, I’m in big trouble.

Holding me
down, he begins to work those rings, with their tiny silver balls up and down
my shaft and I drop my head back to the wall with a thud, dragging the T-shirt
between my teeth, further up my chest.