The Bridge to a Better Life (7 page)

“I’m fine. Thanks.”

His jaw locked, and he gave Touchdown a sweet hug before setting him down. “In the interest of full disclosure, you have the right to know your brothers visited me earlier.”

Part of her wasn’t surprised. Matt had been fighting mad when she’d called him about the bridge. “I don’t see a black eye,” she said even though she knew neither one of them would be that cruel.

His mouth tipped up at the corner. “Matty Ice started off pretty cool, but he mellowed. I told your brothers why I’m here…that you haven’t grieved over Kim yet and we haven’t…dealt with whatever this is between us.”

She fisted her hands in the hem of her shirt, feeling exposed and more than ganged up on. “You had no right to talk about me—about us—behind my back. But then again, you already did. Moira and Caroline told me earlier you’d been in touch with everyone but Andy.”

His jaw turned hard. “I had every right to talk to them! You lied to your family about me and tried to make me into someone I’m not. A guy who doesn’t want kids with his wife. You didn’t play fair.”

It was true, and the shame of that knowledge stung her cheeks, but she hadn’t wanted to risk losing their support. Her family was everything to her, the one thing she could fall back on when the world went crazy. “I know I didn’t play fair.” It was as much as she could admit to him right then.

He huffed out a sigh. “I cared about them, Nat. I still do. They had a right to know my side. I didn’t want them thinking I was some insensitive prick who would say something that awful right after his wife’s best friend and sister-in-law had died.”

He was like a harsh light, and since she was someone who wanted to stay in the dark, she strode away from him on impulse. Then she stopped in her tracks, realizing she was bringing him further into the house—not a wise plan. “So we’re choosing sides then? You're trying to get my family to gang up on me.”

His face fell. “No one wants to gang on you, babe. We love you. You’re not
you,
and you haven’t been for a while now. I’m only drawing attention to what everyone else in your family has already noticed.”

Yeah, and how had she reacted when Moira and Caroline finally mentioned it? She’d pushed them away.

Just like you did with Blake,
she heard a voice say gently in her head.

She ignored it. “Why does everyone keep harping on this? I just want to be left alone.”

He had his arms wrapped around her before she could blink.

“No, you don’t. Babe, you’re not a loner. As someone who just lost his brother, I know there’s a balance between dealing with your grief in private and surrounding yourself with people who love you. You pushed the rest of us away completely.”

He was getting way too close to the truth, and it made her quake inside. Her face was scrunched against his chest, and though she wanted so badly to let herself be comforted by him, she locked her muscles against the feel of his hard body pressed against hers. Finally she did push him away. Hard. He loosened his grip, giving her more room, but he didn’t totally drop those sinewy arms of his.

“Let me go, Blake.”

“Just let me hold you for a minute. Is that going to kill you? Don’t you remember how much you loved for me to hold you, simply hold you, when one of us came home after a crappy day at work?”

Oh, how she remembered. She had grown to crave his strong arms around her. They always provided whatever she needed—comfort, security, strength. And she’d provided that same simple comfort for him after each devastating loss, on and off the field. At times it had terrified her how much she needed him.

But even the comfort of his arms hadn’t taken away the pain of Kim being diagnosed with cancer, and so she’d avoided his touch, anyone’s touch, fearing she’d shatter into a million pieces and go mad.

“God, you still smell the same,” he whispered. “I could never forget that smell.”

His warm breath against her ear made the hairs on the back of her neck raise. Being this close, she could feel his heart pounding like he’d run a sprint—the rapid beat matching her own. Something liquid rolled through her belly, cradled against his hips as she was.

It had been
so
long.

Her body’s longing for him shot across her pores, so strong she wanted to soak him up like parched earth to rainwater.

When he pressed a soft kiss to her head, an alarm chimed inside her head. Everything inside her was weakening, wanting to lean into him, wanting to open herself once more. She shoved again, fighting him in earnest now.

He reluctantly released her and walked to the back door. “I’m sorry I pushed you. I’m trying to be patient, Nat.”

His words stole any response from her, and she stood there, rubbing her arms to ward off the lingering scent and feel of him on her skin. The
temptation
of him.

“The guys are coming this weekend. I don’t suppose I can talk you into making your cheese dip for us.”

The abrupt change in subject jarred her. He didn’t need to tell her who was coming. His football buddies were always there for him, and for that, she was glad. “You expect me to make you guys food? You have to be kidding.”

“Then can I have the recipe? I’ll need to cram something in Jordan’s mouth to stop him from freaking out about me retiring.”

His friends had always been so much fun to be around. None of them were married except for Blake, but they’d always made her feel welcome, and she’d enjoyed making them drool over her cooking. They’d reached out to her after the divorce, but she hadn’t replied. Now it was all coming back to her very doorstep.

“I can give you the recipe,” she said, “but I can’t imagine you being able to make a white sauce.”

“Well, if I can’t pull it off, I can call you.”

His strategy was becoming all too clear. “Blake, this whole thing is crazy,” she said, throwing out her hands in frustration. “You simply cannot stay here forever and live next door to me.”

“No, I’m hoping this two-house arrangement will be short-lived, and you’ll let me sweep you off your feet again.”

God, could her heart hammer any harder in her chest? “You never swept me off my feet.”

“Sure I did, babe, and you delivered the greatest sack of my life, the moment I saw you.”

Her fingers itched to touch the sandy blond hair at his temples, so she clenched her hands into fists. “What are you going to do here, anyway?”

He gave a lop-sided smile. “Oh, I didn’t tell you earlier, did I?”

And as he laid out his plan for her, she felt her heart squeeze in her chest—an almost painful sensation. So, he wasn’t taking some cushy job as a sports commentator. God knew there were standing offers. But this…it was all so dear. How many times had she watched him throw the football around with Adam in the backyard and “pretend” tackle him?

Adam had been a shining light—a wonderful soul who saw the world differently from everyone else. Her last conversation with him had been an ugly argument. He’d come by her place to talk with her after her breakup with Blake. He’d been so angry with her—an unusual emotion for him—and deeply hurt. He’d begged her to talk to Blake, going on and on about how much Blake loved her. How destroyed he was by the way she’d up and left.

She’d never spoken to him after that day. And now he was gone too. She had to breathe through the wild emotions coursing through her veins like quicksilver.

“I mean it when I say that I am sorry about Adam. I am.” She stomped her foot to punctuate her statement. “But you make me feel like I’m kicking a puppy when you come over here and talk about us getting back together. You’re putting…too much pressure on me. I don’t want to hurt you…more than you’re already hurting.” She could see the evidence of sleepless nights in the shadows under his eyes.

“I know you’re sorry about Adam, babe, and I know you’re upset about me moving here. So, why don’t we just try and be friends again? That’s how we started our relationship, and I think it would be good for us. Will you be my friend again, Natalie Hale?”

His guarded expression told her that he was expecting rejection. That look on his face was enough to crack the ice at the core of her. “Okay. We can be
friends.”

He released a long breath. “Good. Good.” He leaned down to give Touchdown a swift rub and then opened the back door.

“Blake,” she called out as he was leaving.

Turning, he gave her a sad smile. “What?”

“How about you hire The Grand Mountain Hotel to cater any food you want for when the guys show up? That way…” Oh, this was so awkward, she couldn’t meet his eyes. “That way, I can make the cheese dip and anything else you might want with my staff…in a more official capacity.” As a peace offering, it was the best she could do.

“That’s a mighty nice offer,” he said hoarsely, clearing his throat. “Thank you.”

Her heart was beating so fast she could barely catch her breath. “I’ll…draw up a contract once you make up a list of what you want.”

“That sounds great. I’ll sketch something out. You two have fun. I’ll see you soon.”

His broad back faded through the glass door, and she sank onto a nearby chair, awash in messy emotions threatening her control. She could feel the madness breathing down her neck.

You have to stay numb, you have to stay numb,
she repeated over and over as she lowered herself to the kitchen floor and started to scrub.

Facing down the Hale clan and all its adopted members took guts. Natalie arrived at Matt’s house late to ensure everyone else was already there. As she’d expected, conversations started to lag the instant she closed the door behind her. Whether she was ready or not, it was time to face them.

Moira and Caroline reached for each other’s hands, and when her nephew, Danny, made a move toward her, her brother, Andy, put a hand on his chest and kept him in place. Their eyes met, and she knew he was going to speak his mind to her—and she also knew she wouldn’t want to hear it. Her mom came out of the kitchen with Matt, who clapped his hand on her shoulder in solidarity.

They were all on Blake’s side. She could feel it. Even Matt now. Well, the speech she’d rehearsed while cleaning every tile of every floor in her house would hopefully put a stop to any future meddling.

“Can I have your attention, please?” she called out to the people in the den.

Others strolled in from the kitchen to see what was going on. She watched as Terrance emerged in the doorway, wiping his hands on his black apron, and gave her a nod.

“As I am sure you’ve all heard by now, my ex-husband, Blake Cunningham, has moved to Dare Valley. Next door to me, actually. We’ve agreed to be friends. As for his other thoughts about us, well, that’s Blake. Some of you know him. Others don’t. He’s a great guy, who just suffered a huge loss, and I don’t want things to be awkward. I don’t want you to take my side; I don’t want there to be
any
sides, although there usually are in divorce. I just want you to give us our space. It’s…cleaner that way.”

There was a burn under her ribs as she said those words. What she really wanted to say was that she didn’t want them to try and influence her when she already felt like she was bobbing along on a raft in the middle of the ocean. She caught sight of her mom’s frowning face and forced herself to continue.

“This whole situation is unusual, I’ll admit. There may be press arriving in town since Blake’s retirement was such a big deal, and you might be contacted due to your relationship with me. I wanted to warn you about that so you can refrain from commenting.”

“Are you warning us about
pesky
journalists?” her Uncle Arthur barked out, leaning on his cane. “Does that include me?”

The relief she felt that someone had finally broken the silence allowed her to release the breath she’d been holding. “Yes. You most of all, you stinker. Don’t expect me to give you an exclusive for
The Western Independent.
I love you, Uncle Arthur, but not that much.”

“Well, shoot. You’ve crushed an old man.”

She wanted to kiss him right then and there for lightening the mood. Danny looked confused, and no one else had cracked a smile, but at least some of the crushing pressure in the atmosphere had eased up.

“Blake is here to run a football camp for kids with intellectual disabilities as a tribute to his brother,” she told them, having decided to share all the information she had in one fell swoop in the hopes of staving off more questions later. “It’s a wonderful thing he’s doing, and I’m happy he’s doing it.”

Suddenly a memory of Adam laughing flashed through her mind, and she felt a sharp pang of grief, which only saddened her more. Blake had always said that she and Adam laughed the same way—with their whole hearts and bodies.

Something cracked in the silence, making everyone turn their heads away from her. Natalie’s cousin, Jill, darted over to pick up the rattle her daughter, Mia, had tossed onto the hardwood floor. Hitching the baby up on her hip, she patted her on the back.

Natalie cleared her throat and stood there awkwardly. The whole room was back to staring at her. “That’s…ah…all.”

Hell. That had felt worse than reciting the Declaration of Independence in a school talent competition in the third grade.