Authors: H.M. Ward

The Arrangement 3 (7 page)

BOOK: The Arrangement 3

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CHAPTER
13

Sean unlocks the door to the penthouse. I follow him into the room. My heart still beats too fast, too hard. When Sean throws his keys onto the hallway table, he follows me into the room. Taking my hand, he leads me to the center of the room. Sean closes the space between us and presses his body against mine. He starts to sway slightly, like we’re dancing. I wrap my arms around him and hold on loosely. His hands slip over the back of my dress. I feel his fingers cup my butt before finding the hem of the dress insanely close. Sean’s hands smooth over the outside of my dress and he looks at me. I know he’s aroused. I don’t have to feel his pants, I can see it in his eyes.

My heart thumps in my chest when he looks at me like that. My entire body responds to him and prickles. I want to feel his hands slip over my skin.

Sean seems to read my mind. Without breaking eye contact, he slides his hands down my sides, feeling my little black dress. When he reaches the hem, his hands move under the fabric. He pulls me closer and slides his hands around back, feeling my bare ass. He responds instantly. I can feel his dick pressing into my belly. The sensation warms me in a way that makes my insides pulse. Why do I react to him? Can’t I just let him fuck me and not care?

The thought
s vanish along with every other logical thing in my brain. Sean dips his head to my neck and finds the place that makes me weak. He presses our bodies together, still swaying his hips gently against mine. One hand is firmly holding my butt and squeezes hard while the other drifts around to the front. He lowers his hand between us and dips his fingers between my legs. The response is instant. I moan and fall into him. I can’t stand when he does that to me, but Sean makes me remain where I am.

“I expect you to stand here and do what I say,” his voice is deep, commanding. It makes me want to obey him. I shiver
, wondering what he’s going to ask. “Pull up your skirt.”

I inch the fabric up until he tells me to stop.
My bottom is revealed in all its naked glory. Sean’s eyes darken and fill with a carnal gaze that makes me too hot. “Legs apart.” I shift my feet. “More.”

I move again and now they are shoulder’s width apart. Sean kneels in front of me
. He presses his face against the V in my legs, breathing in deeply. He stares at my pussy for a moment, like he’s trying to control himself, but he fails. Sean dips his head and licks the seam of my lower lips. I nearly jump. “Stay still, Smith,” he scolds me.

To make sure I don’t move this time, Sean holds onto my hips. When he lowers his head and licks me, every inch of my body flares to life. I gasp as his
tongue strokes my sensitive folds. A spark ignites somewhere in my core and I want more. I need more. I hate how he does this to me, but I let him. Sean detected the parts of me that respond the most. That spot on my neck, I didn’t even know it was there. It’s nearly all the way around on my back, but Sean found it. One kiss there makes me so weak and so turned on. It’s hard to not want sex when he kisses me there.

And now, this sexy man is on his knees at my feet doing the most
divine things to me. I can barely stand. One more sweep of his tongue and my knees buckle. Sean stands and takes me over to the bed. That’s when things change. He removes his belt and binds my wrists together. He explains what he’s doing, what he needs. “You’re right. I didn’t call Black to play house with someone. I need something. I want this.” His breaths are jagged. My heart races faster. I let him tie my hands before I realize what he’s saying. Looking in my eyes, he asks, “Tell me no now if you can’t do this.”

“I don’t know what you’re doing,” I confess, feeling afraid and stupid. My heart slaps against my ribs so fast that I think I’m going to stroke out.

Sean’s eyes are so dark. Whatever he held back the last few times he was with me is coming forward. “I want to tie you down and have my way with you. I want you at my mercy. I want you to fight back.”

I look into his eyes. I don’t understand. “You want to rape me?” That can’t be what he means, but after I say it, I see the look on his face. I know it’s what he wants. My heart pounds harder, faster. “Sean—”

“Say no or yes. Nothing else. You asked what I wanted. This is what I want.” His eyes penetrate me. There’s a desperation in them. It tells me that he’s barely in control of himself. I nod slowly. Tension lines Sean’s neck. His hands tighten into fists. “Say it. I have to hear you say yes. I don’t want to hurt you, but I might. Sex is power. I need to feel that right now. Avery,” he breathes my name like he can’t imagine taking another breath if I say no, “tell me what you want.”

Sex is power. He needs to feel like he has some control over his life. I look down at my hands knowing how this is going to make me feel. I hate being p
inned down. If he ties me up, I‘ll scream, but that’s what he wants—complete power over another person. He’s so fucked up.

And so am I, because I say,
“Yes.”

I don’t have to say the word twice. Sean grabs me and throws me down on the bed. I try to roll away, but can’t. Sean stretches my tethered hands above my head, straddling me as he moves across my body. Fear pulses through me. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. He reaches over the side of the bed and
grabs something—a rope—and ties my hands down. I know he can’t stop and I don’t want to make him, but I’m scared. I don’t know why. He’s made love to me several times.
This is not love.
It was never love.

I twist and kick out at him. Sean grabs each foot and ties them to each bed post
so that my legs are splayed. I’m face down with my butt hanging over the side of the bed. Sean moves slowly toward me. I want to tell him to stop. I want him to stop and say he loves me. I want something besides this, but this is what I offered.

Sean’s
hands tug up the dress, revealing my naked bottom. Without warning, Sean thrusts into me. I cry out, not ready for it. I can’t move. I can’t do anything. Sean pushes in hard at first, gripping my hips and pushing frantically. After a few minutes, maybe more, he slows down. I’m not wet enough. What he does hurts. I whimper even though I try not to make a sound. Sean stills. It doesn’t feel good. Having him inside me doesn’t feel like anything. He pulls out slowly. I want to scream.

This is what it’s going to feel like with the other clients. I press my eyes closed, waiting to feel
Sean pushing into me again, but I don’t. Opening my eyes, I look for him, but can’t see him. I hear his jagged breathing somewhere behind me.

A tear escapes from my eye and rolls down my cheek. I feel his eyes on my face. I know he sees it. My stomach clenches tight. I close my eyes willing my tears away. No more fall. No more will come. It doesn’t matter what he does to me.

But Sean doesn’t touch me again. I hear him sit down hard behind me. I struggle with the ties, hoping to free myself, but I can’t. Before I realize what’s happening, Sean’s there and he unties me. I watch his face as he unties his belt from my wrists. He won’t look at me.

I stand and rub my wrists and fix my d
ress. My heart is pounding. “You didn’t have to stop.”

“It felt wrong,” is his only reply. Sean sits in a chair and hides his face from me. The way he leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees and resting his forehead on his hands makes it impossible to see him.

“Why?” I know I shouldn’t ask that question, but I do.

Sean
looks up at me with such sorrow in his eyes. He doesn’t answer me. Instead he tells me more things that I don’t want to hear. “Before, when we were in that elevator, when you made that noise—I knew you were afraid. I sensed it. It turned me on faster than anything else. You know why I don’t want to do this right now? Because it’s not enough, it’s not pushing you all the way into your darkest fears. Tiny space with no light terrifies you. All I can think about is fucking you in there, making you so frightened that you scream while I fill you with come.” Sean’s breathing hard, like the idea is too appealing to resist. My heart beats harder, faster. “I was like you, once. I felt things by touching and tasting, but not now. I can do those things, but I crave the other so much more. We’re a bad match, Avery. I’ll break what’s left of you. There’s very little holding you together. I don’t want to be the guy that turns you into this.” He presses his fingers to his chest.

I’m stunned. I don’t know what to say. Sean is messed up beyond belief. Fear
surges through me. I want to run, but I need to stay. “So, you need to hurt me to get off?”

Sean shakes his head after a moment. “No. I need to feel your heart racing and feel you trembling. It’s the fear. I need
your fear.” Sean doesn’t look at me. His confession weighs on his shoulders like he can’t stand.

I don’t know what to think of him or his needs. I can’t fathom his life or this. The only thing I can think to say is the thought that keeps popping up in my mind. “But I’m afraid of you anyway.” Sean’s eyes cut to mine. I feel the world shift.

The words that I’m never supposed to say come pouring out of my mouth in a flood too fast to stop. “It doesn’t matter what you do or what you say, I’m desperately afraid of you, Sean. Everything about you seems to bring me back to life. You’re voice, your words, your face…I can’t think when you’re there and when you’re gone, it’s worse.

“
When I saw you this morning, I was torn apart. I’d found your note, the one in your pocket. I thought you were cheating, that you had a wife and a baby. When you showed me her grave, I almost wished you were cheating. I could have walked away from that, but not from this. And that’s what frightens me more than a dark elevator or a tiny closet.” I hold my breath and try to stop the flow of words, but they don’t stop.

I step toward him, almost afraid to touch him. The moment feels so brittle, like it could snap. “You evoke things in me that I’ve never felt, that I never thought I’d feel.
And that’s just it—I feel around you, and it’s amazing. I’ve been numb for so long, wishing that I could seal off the pain that’s seeping into my soul. Then you came along and I fell for you. I love you, Sean. I can’t help it. And it terrifies me.” Wide-eyed with a pounding pulse, I watch him react to my words.

Sean’s
eyes lock with mine, but he says nothing. He just looks at me. It’s the worst thing he could have possibly done. A moment later, he turns and pinches the bridge of his nose. Sean doesn’t look at me when he says it. “I’m going to tell Black to send me a different girl. You can go.” His words feel like a knife to my gut.

I stare at him with a million thoughts racing through my mind.
He doesn’t love me
. The thought beats me down into a bloody pulp. I can’t stand to look at him. Saying nothing, I cross the room and grab my purse. I take the stack of bills that Miss Black gave me. I don’t think about it. I just act on my feelings. This whole fucking charade can stop. I don’t want his money. I don’t want him. I want every trace of his existence scrubbed clean from my life. Anger builds inside of me. I need this money, but I need my sanity more. I fling the stack of bills across the room. The money flutters through the room like a gust of oversized snowflakes. Before Sean looks up, I’m gone.

My eyes sting horribly, but I won’t cry. I take the elevator to the lobby. He doesn’t come after me, chasing me like this is a movie. No, Sean is calling Black now, telling her that he wants someone else. I leave the hotel grounds, not concerned about my bracelet. Nothing can protect me from this. I obliterated what was left of my heart. I feel it dying inside my chest.

I stand at the curb for a second, too hurt to think. The limo isn’t here. I’m freezing in this tiny little dress with no coat. I know that feeling, but now instead of providing comfort, it makes me feel sick. I walk, not going anywhere in particular. I pass people on the sidewalks and wish that I was someone else. I have nothing. No one. I spilled my heart, telling Sean exactly how I felt and he returned me. My cell rings a moment later. It’s Black. I don’t answer. I walk on, going nowhere, thinking nothing.

T
he frigid air numbs my skin and I welcome it into my heart. The numbness over takes me, and I hope that I never feel anything ever again.

THE ARRANGEMENT SERIES

This story unfolds over the course of multiple short novels. Each one follows the continuing story of Avery
Stanz and Sean Ferro.

To ensure you don’t miss the next installment, text
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