Tender Graces (31 page)

Rebekha shook her head. “I don’t think this is the place to discuss those things, Mee Maw Laudine.”

“As I was saying, today we take the first steps in helping Virginia Kate become an attractive young woman.” She pulled something out of the bag and held it up like a flag on a pole. “Voila! The answer to hip’s prayers.”

“What in hell is that?” Daddy stared at the rubbery thing as if it was an alien on
Star Trek.
Everybody leaned in for a closer look, except me. I was still trying to shrink down to an ant’s size.

“What’s it look like? It’s a girdle for our chubbie-hipped little woman.”

“Oh, my.” Rebekha put her face in her hands.

Micah and Andy busted out laughing, slapping their legs with hoots and hollers. Bobby laughed to mimic his brothers and ran up to try to grab the thing out of Mee Maw’s hand.

“Go put it on! Come on; let’s see how you look in it. Put it on!” Mee Maw cackled like a hen.

“She isn’t putting that thing on,” Daddy said.

“This here’s how you get a man. Smoke and mirrors.”

“A man? For lord’s sake, Mother. She’s twelve!” Then he said, “All she has is some baby fat, and that’ll go away soon enough.”

Rebekha stood up. “I’ve had enough—”

I tore off to my room before I heard anymore, closed the door against them, and lay across my blue bedspread, feeling like Fattie mae. Rebekha came in holding the girdle with two fingers and threw it in the garbage. Andy and Micah peeked in at me with an I’m-sorry-seestor look. Rebekha shooed them off and closed the door.

She sat beside me, making large then small circles on the chenille with her index finger. “Your room looks so much better without all that pink.”

I  didn’t say anything since I was full of pout.

“You know your Mee Maw means well. She’s just, well, just Mee Maw.”

I shrugged.

“I remember how my mother was always afraid I’d get chubby.” Rebekha lay back beside me and our hair mixed up together. My dark hair made hers look even lighter. I wondered what it was like to have strawberry-blond hair and to be skinny and pale.

“I wish I looked like you instead of me,” I said.

“I always wanted shiny dark hair and a full figure. Look at your hair, spread out on the pillow like a fairy story princess. And when I was a little girl, I had horrid freckles. I wanted to stay in my room and never go to school.”

“I think freckles are nice.”

“My mother was always buying me big hats and warning me to stay out of the sun or I’d get more freckles.”

“Did you wear them?”

“No.” She turned on her side and propped up on her elbow. “I just grew out of my freckles. Now I miss them sometimes. We grow out of a lot of things that we miss when we’re older.”

“I know, you’re trying to tell me I’ll grow out of my feelings.”

“No. I’m saying you’ll grow out of letting other people make you feel bad about yourself.” She brushed the hair off my face. “Someone saying something about you doesn’t make it magically true. You didn’t feel fat this morning did you?”

“No. I don’t think so.” I propped up to face her. “But I do eat lots of candy.”

“So, do it while you’re young. My mother didn’t allow sweets except on special occasions.”

“She didn’t?”

“Nothing except fruit. Leona would sneak me treats sometimes, though.”

I smiled thinking about Leona doing that.

“You look so much like your mother. She’s a beautiful woman.”

“She’s not chubby.” I reached out and touched Rebekha’s hair; it felt light as dragonfly wings flying though my fingers.

“You’re filling out. You’re just doing it a bit sooner than some girls, nothing wrong or terrible about that. It just is.”

I hitched up a sigh.

She sat cross-legged and I copied her, our knees almost touched. “One day you’ll remember this conversation and see I was right. You’ll feel strong and sure of yourself.”

Mee Maw busted into the room. “What’s going on in here? I can’t bring my grandbabies presents without everybody getting mad when I’m just trying to be a good Mee Maw.” She dabbed at her eyes with a wad of tissues she pulled out of her pocket. “It just hurts my feelings how everybody treats Mee Maw.”

“Laudine, I need help with the menu for tomorrow’s dinner.”

Mee Maw’s eyes lit up.

Rebekha stood, took Mee Maw’s arm, herded her out, and shut my door. I heard Mee Maw blabbing all the way to the kitchen.

I lay on my blue pillows and thought about being a girl. I pictured Momma and me, knees touching, head to head, and then her hugging me, but her face turned into Rebekha’s face. I fell asleep and dreamed that Grandma Faith had the girdle on; prancing around her garden laughing like a little girl. I saw Grandpa Luke, in the shadows. He turned to me and his face became a monster, like in Micah’s weird comic
Ghostly Tales from the Haunted House
. I woke up sweating and scared for Grandma. She didn’t see him at all, just kept dancing around in the girdle. I got up, pulled the thing from the garbage, and put it way down in the bottom of my dresser drawer.

On the second, fourth, and sixth days Mee Maw parked her car on the grass, leaving big ruts in the front yard even though Rebekha asked her to park in the driveway or at the curb. Mee Maw just said, “Oh dear, I’m so forgetful. Oh me.”

On the fifth day, Mee Maw showed up for supper with a man she met while picking out peaches at the grocery. She giggled how her tater boiling man sure would be jealous if he knew she was making time with another man. The man she toted in was a hundred and fifty-two years old and smelled like mothballs and tobacco. He said, “This here’s a fine woman you got here.” He pinched Mee Maw on the rear.

Mee Maw giggled, then said, “You charmer.”

I whispered to Jade how I was going to upchuck.

Jade whispered, “I wish I lived here. It’s fun.”

I looked at her as if she grew three more white-blond heads.

Rebekha served up supper that night with a big fake smile ripping her face. That old moldy man ate three pieces of chicken, two baked potatoes, and half a cherry pie—Micah wasn’t happy since he didn’t get enough to eat. After supper, the old guy and Mee Maw rocked on the porch together. Rebekha said it was like they were teenagers, but when she said that; she looked like she’d eaten a fat worm. After Mee Maw drove the man back home, Daddy told her never to do that again.

Mee Maw sniffed. “I miss a man’s company. Your mother needs lovin’ like everybody else.” We kids tore out of the room before we heard anymore about Mee Maw and lovin’.

On her ninth day there, Mee Maw moved around the furniture while Rebekha took Bobby to a birthday party. Rebekha walked in the door, holding on to Bobby with one hand, her purse and keys in the other. Bobby said, “Look, Mommy! Mee Mawl’s still here.”

I was with Jade on the couch that used to be where the chair was with my feet on the bare floor where Rebekha’s rug used to be. Andy sat on the floor where the coffee table used to be, playing Monopoly with Dan and Neil. Mee Maw sat on a chair—without its throw because Imper had thrown up on it—telling us stories. Like how a spider could crawl in people’s ears while they slept and have babies until the brain filled up with tiny baby spiders crawling around and eating brains. And how some neighbor of hers chopped off her husband’s private parts and threw them in his girlfriend’s window screaming,
He’s yours now, whore, here’s  your favorite part!

Rebekha stood in the doorway, ready to spit fire. “What happened here?”

Mee Maw hightailed it to my room, her shoes leaving a trail of dirt from walking through Rebekha’s flowerbeds to pick fresh flowers to put in her (my!) bedroom. Rebekha followed her in and shut the door. I heard her telling Mee Maw she’d had enough. Mee Maw said she was old and forgetful. And on it went like that.

Jade said, “My parents think y’all are insane.”

Dan was all snarky-faced. “I like coming here.”

Jade gave Dan a you-back–off-my-friend look. “I’m just saying what my parents said, not what I think. I like coming here more than you.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to listen,” I said.

Mee Maw’s voice was whiney. “I told you I was sorry, what else do you want from me?”

“Respect. That’s what I want, Laudine.”

Finally, on the tenth day, the clouds cleared. I answered the ringing phone to hear, “Is my sweet purr-tater there?”

“Who?”

“My sweet purr-tater, Laudine.”

“Oh. Hold on.” I put the phone down and snickled. I hollered out. “Sweet Purr-tater, you have a phone call.”

Mee Maw hightailed it into the living room and grabbed the phone from me.

I backed away.

“Hello, Sweet Meats. Hmmm mmm, yes.” Mee Maw’s toe was just a-tapping. “Well, they’re acting like they need a sugar tit. Uh hum. Well, you hold onto your butter buns, I’m coming home.”

I almost did a jig.

She hung up the phone. “I knew he’d miss his Laudine. I knew it.” She looked at me. “That’s how you handle men, you listening?”

I thought it was a good thing Sweet Meats called Mee Maw back, since it looked like Rebekha was going to hog-tie Mee Maw and haul her back to Texas herself for all the trouble she stirred around.

Just a day later, on the eleventh day of Mee Maw, Imper, Mee Maw, and their mess were on their way back to Sweet Meats. Rebekha scrubbed doggie smells away, bought a new rug and throw, and we all let out a sigh. The storm was finally over.

Chapter 26

Will you adopted me, too, Mommy?

1970

Daddy called us all in the living room after supper. Rebekha was on the couch, her legs crossed at the ankles, Bobby on her lap. Daddy looked serious, so my stomach flipped around the pinto beans, rice, and cornbread, like the episode of
Our Gang
when Alfalfa ate too much and when the doctor x-rayed his belly, all the food was fighting.

“Kids, your momma has finally agreed to let Rebekha adopt you.” Daddy sipped his tonic water with lemon, the only drink he’d had for three months. He and Rebekha were going to meetings. I watched him every day to make sure he didn’t slip up.

Micah didn’t look excited about it. “I’m too old to worry about this.”

“You aren’t. There are lots of legal issues to think about,” Daddy said.

“This is something I’ve wanted for a long time.” Rebekha looked at me. “I’m sorry; I know that this can be hurtful, too. But it would be an honor for me to be your mother legally.”

“Don’t you all want this?” Daddy could’ve been asking if we wanted a big bowl of ice cream.

“It sounds okay to me, I guess.” I was thirteen, too grown up to show them I was worried about who my momma was going to be.

“See, your sister is happy!” Daddy grinned.

“What about Momma? What’s she got to say?” Andy asked.

“She’s ready to sign the papers,” Daddy said.

“I don’t give a care what she thinks anyway,” Andy said.

Daddy walked over to Andy and patted his head. “This will be good for all of us.”

“If you say so, Dad.” Micah began flipping through a
Mad Magazine.

“I just want y’all to be happy and safe,” Rebekha said. “I won’t do it if all of you don’t agree. It’s not an easy decision for anyone.”

“You all should appreciate the sacrifices Rebekha’s made for you.”

“It’s not a sacrifice. Don’t put it that way, Frederick.” She straightened Bobby’s collar then kissed his cheek.

Bobby said, “Will you adopted me, too, Mommy?”

“You’re already my son, Bobby.”

“This is what we need to do as a family. Be happy.” Daddy left the room.

I wanted to follow him to make sure he didn’t have bottles hidden somewhere.

“Y’all talk about it. You’re old enough to make this decision together. ” Rebekha stood up and left the room with Bobby, who hollered out, “I want to stay with Andy.”

“What should we do?” I scooted close to Micah.

Micah said, “I’ll be gone as soon as I graduate high school. Why would I care who’s my momma?”

“I care,” Andy said. “I think Rebekha can be our momma. She’s been taking care of us for a long time now.”

“Yep, she has done that,” Micah said.

“He said Momma was going to sign papers,” I said.

Andy crossed his arms. “I’m going to let Rebekha adopt me. I don’t give a goddam what you two do.”

“Somebody needs to take care of things for you two. I’ll be in New York and I can’t take care of you both anymore.”

“I’ve been taking care of myself,” I said.

Andy said, “Me, too.”

“Yeah, I guess you have.” Micah looked out the window at the oak.

I felt bad, remembering how he took care of Andy and me when we were little. “I mean, me and Andy don’t need to be taken care of like you had to do when we were little.”

“That’s right, it’s better here than at Momma’s,” Andy said. “Won’t see me back there.”

“Me, neither,” Micah said.

I thought to myself, that if Rebekha adopted us, we’d always have a place to go. No matter if Daddy took up to boozing again, if he left us, or if Momma never saw us again. We’d have a home. Always. “I say we should do it.”

“I do, too.” Andy sat up straight and tall, his chin pointed. “Goddam right.”