Taming Lo: A You and I Novel (17 page)

“
You
wouldn't...” She takes a step backwards, throwing Dax a
desperate look, clearly expecting him to step in and calm me down.
But he makes no attempt to move.

Honestly, he's probably in shock. Hell, I wouldn't doubt
if after this little display, he never wants to have anything to do
with me again. Who refuses to attend their own sister's wedding and
then talks to her this way? I know I'm out of line. I know that I
should have just agreed to go to her wedding in the beginning. I
never should have fought her on this. I can see the damage it has
done and yet, I can't fix it. Not anymore.

She's
gone too far now.
I've
gone too far.

“
Wouldn't
I?” I warn. “Or do you need to call Mommy and Daddy and
have them remind you what I am capable of?”

“
I
am your sister.” She interjects.

“
And
they were my parents.” I spit. “Get out Lilly.” I
say again, my voice low and controlled.

“
Fine.
You don't want a sister anymore, you don't have one. Go on, live your
life as if none of us ever existed. As if Ricky never existed.”
I can't help but cringe at the mention of his name. “I'm done
caring. You are not the only one that holds the power to leave
someone behind. Perhaps I will take a page from your book for once.”
She spits, spinning on her heel and ripping the door open.

“
Goodbye
Lauren.” She says over her shoulder, slamming the door shut
with an ear shattering thud.

I am numb, mortified, devastated. So many emotions run
through me. I can't force myself to move, to go after her even though
I know I should.

“
Lo.”
Dax's voice washes softly over me just as his hands settle down on my
shoulders. Like being hit by a bolt of lightening I jump, spinning
around.

“
Don't
touch me.” I shake my head, the tears I have fought so hard to
control finally breaking free. “I need you to leave. Leave
Dax.” I say, turning.

“
Don't.”
His voice is stern as his hand closes down around my forearm and he
spins me back to face him. “Don't push me away.”

“
I
am not pushing you away. I don't want you here. Don't you see that?”
My tears flow harder and I know deep down that I don't mean a word of
my statement but I want him to believe that I do. I
need
him
to leave.

“
Talk
to me.” He pleads. “Tell me what is going on.” The
concern in his voice is almost too much to bear and I nearly collapse
right here on the spot.

“
I
can't.” My words are weak and broken.

“
Yes
you can. You are choosing not to.” His voice remains soft as he
tilts my face up to meet his. “Tell me what you need. There is
nothing I wouldn't do for you. You know that right?”

A tight knot forms in my throat and I push away from
him, taking a couple of steps backwards before meeting his face
again. “Then why won't you leave?” My voice quivers over
my words.

“
Because
you don't really want me to.” He says, taking a step towards
me.

“
I'm
an awful person. A horrible horrible person. Did you see how I
treated her? My own sister. I tossed her out like she was nothing.
How could you possibly want to stay after that?” I wipe at the
tears that are now blurring my vision.

I am so angry at myself for letting him see me weak, for
letting him see me cry, that it only makes me cry harder. It only
makes me that much angrier with myself. I have never hated myself
more than I do right here and now and yet, there is not one damn
thing I can do to stop the downhill spiral I seem to be on.

“
You
are not a horrible person. You're upset. Tell me why. Tell me what is
going on. I can help you if you let me.”

“
No
you can't.” I say, taking a deep breath as I meet his eyes once
more. “You can't help me Dax. No one can. Please leave.”

“
I'm
not leaving you like this.” He says, taking another step
towards me.

“
Fucking
leave Dax!” I scream, halting his movements in an instant.

“
Lo.”
His voice is so soft that I swear, I can physically feel my heart
splitting in two with the desperation behind that one word.

Taking another deep breath, I wipe away my tears and
look him straight in the face. “Please leave.” I say
calmly, just needing him for once to do as I ask.

“
Okay.”
He finally agrees, giving me one last long look before sliding past
me.

I make no attempt to move until I hear the door latch
closed behind him. Suddenly it all seems to hit me. Like a thousand
bricks slamming down on top of me, I hit my knees, dropping my head
into my hands on a loud sob as I let the pain and regret sink through
me.

I will not numb it.

I will not run from it.

For once in my life, this is a pain that I have no
choice but to feel.

Chapter
Twenty-Five

Dax

I've tried giving her time. I've tried staying away,
convinced that eventually, she would come around. But honestly, after
nearly a week, I can't wait any longer. I have to talk to her. I have
to know she's okay.

As if the way we left things the last time I saw her
wasn't bad enough, she has avoided me like the plague since then. I
haven't even been able to corner her at the club. She has made sure
of that. Keeping busy enough with members that I can't pull her away.
Locking her dressing room door and not answering it when I knock.
Ducking out without telling anyone she's leaving so that I can't
catch her in the parking lot.

Truth is, if I wasn't so busy at the club myself, I
probably would have stood by her car for hours just waiting for her
to come out, demanding that she talk to me the moment she finally
did. And though the thought has crossed my mind more than once, I
don't want to give her anymore reasons to continue to push me away.

Every time I close my eyes I see her face. That pained
expression that clouded it the last time we were together. Her fresh
tears wet on her cheeks, the quiver in her voice as she spoke. Seeing
her like that, well, it nearly fucking broke me.

It took everything I had to walk out of her apartment
that night. There were so many things I wanted to say, things I
should have said but didn't. I am not going to make that mistake
again. Tonight, she will hear me. She will talk to me.

If I have to stand
outside of her apartment door the entire night waiting for her to
come home, that is exactly what I am going to do. I knew after our
first night together that she had gotten under my skin in a way that
no woman had in a very long time.
It
took me weeks to admit it to myself and even longer to finally accept
it but now that I have, I can't lose her. I won't lose her.

Fuck Christy. Fuck everything that has happened in the
past. Lo is my future. She is all I want and tonight, I plan to tell
her just that.

Chapter
Twenty-Six

Lo

The moment Dax comes into view, his large frame leaning
against my door, his head tilted upwards, eyes closed, my heart leaps
into my throat and for a moment, I feel like I am suffocating. This
heavy weight settles onto my chest and makes it hard to do something
as natural as breath.

My heeled feet sounding through the hallway giveaway my
arrival before I am prepared for his intense eyes to settle on my
face. He looks tired, worn, but still the same dazzling man that I
have come to truly care for over the past few weeks.

He doesn't speak at first, and while I feel like I
should say something, I don't either. Instead, I take step after
step, feeling a heavy tension settle over my shoulders the closer I
get to him.

“
Hey.” His
soft voice washes over me moments before I step directly in front of
him. It's funny, but just that one word, that one simple word, sends
a shiver all the way to my toes.

It isn't until this very moment that I realize how much
I have missed his voice. The warmth, the softness of his tone. How a
person's voice can have so much effect over another person's body is
beyond me. But it's there, just the same.

“
Hey.” I
finally manage to get out, swallowing hard, the sudden dryness in my
throat making it difficult to speak. “What are you doing here?”
I ask, fidgeting with my keys as they dangle from my hand.

“
I needed to see
you.” He says, reaching up to cup my face with one hand, his
thumb skating gently across my cheek.

“
Dax.” I
start to say, but he doesn't let me finish my sentence.

“
Can we talk?
Please.” He urges my face upwards, his eyes meeting mine the
moment I glance up, rendering me all but powerless right here on the
spot.

“
Dax.” I
start again.

“
Please Lo. I
know you're still dealing with what happened last week but that is no
reason to push me away. All I wanted was to help you.” He says,
his voice so soft that tears immediately prick the back of my eyes.

“
I don't want to
do this here.” I say, taking a step back. He picks up on what I
am saying and steps to the side, allowing me to unlock my apartment
door and push it open.

Without a word, I step inside. Crossing to the kitchen,
I toss my keys down on the breakfast bar, jumping slightly when I
hear the door close. I feel Dax behind me before I make any attempt
to turn around. Like alarm bells going off in my head and fire
heating my entire body, whenever we are in close proximity to each
other, my body goes haywire.

“
I've missed
you.” His warm breath hits the back of my neck causing my skin
to erupt in goosebumps.

“
I've missed
you.” I admit, feeling the overwhelming want flood my body when
his lips brush lightly against the side of my neck.

“
I've been
dreaming about this body.” He purrs against my skin, wrapping
his arm around my waist from behind, his hand skating across my
torso.

I want to fight this, push him away. I am so mortified
over the way I behaved the last time we were together, that I have
not been able to face him since. But now, having him so close again,
feeling his hands on my body, everything else just falls away.
Replaced only by the want and need I have for this man.

“
Tell me you've
been dreaming of me too?” He rasps, his teeth gently grazing my
ear.

“
Yes.” I
hiss, when his hand slides lower, settling between my legs.

“
Is this what
you've been dreaming of?” He asks, moving his hand gently
against the thin fabric of my leggings.

“
Yes.” The
word is barely audible as he slides his hand inside the waistband of
my pants and under the fabric of my panties, his fingertips tracing
lightly against my bare pubic area.

“
And this?”
He bites down gently on my neck as he slides two fingers inside of my
folds and dips them into my entrance.

“
Dax.” His
name is a plead on my lips as he begins pumping his fingers in and
out, causing my knees to weaken under his touch.

Securing me tightly to him, the moment he pulls my
backside flush with his body, I feel his massive erection against my
tailbone. This only sends my desire that much higher and I
immediately grind backwards into him.

“
Have you been
dreaming about how good I make
this
feel?”
He breathes, moving his hand faster and faster, causing my already
building orgasm to reach its peak.

The warmness starts in my lower belly and then spreads,
further and further until I can feel the pleasure everywhere. I let
out a loud cry as I explode around his hand, leaning forward against
the breakfast bar to help hold myself steady.

Dax quickly pulls his hand out and spins me around, not
giving me any time to gather my barrings before his mouth crashes
down on mine. We rip at each others clothing like our lives depend on
it, clawing and biting as we go until every inch of my body aches for
this man's touch.

Lifting me up, he sets me back down on the breakfast bar
in front of him and quickly peels my bottoms off, leaving my ass
perched on top of the cold counter top. The contrast of the cold
against my skin and the heat flooding through my body, only makes me
feel that much more hypersensitive.