Taking Charge (32 page)

“I don’t want that.”

“What?”

“I don’t want a proposal. Not now. I would love for
us to get back together and be together as a family, but I don’t
want us to get back together because of the baby. Every couple that
does that ends up hating each other and resenting each other, and I
don’t want that for me and I don’t want that for Mickey,
either.”

“Jeez, did you get all grown up and sensible while I
was being flattened by the big guy from Grand Rapids?” Robyn asked,
sipping her coffee.

“I just want to do right by this little person,”
Sarah said, rubbing her stomach protectively.

“Man, don’t rub your guts like that, not yet. It’s
not natural until you’re at least six months gone and you have a
backache as an excuse.”

“Anyway, how are you doing? When can you come home?”
Sarah asked.

“Who knows? When they’ve decided whether my body’s
still in one piece, I guess. I think it is. I’m just not sure how
long some bits are going to stay hanging on for,” Robyn
answered.

He knocked a glass slide with his elbow and it
smashed on the floor. The sound jerked him awake and Maggie
dutifully came running to his side.

“You should go home,” she said, bending down and
sweeping up the shards.

“I can’t sleep,” Cole admitted.

“Then you should go to the hospital,” she
suggested.

“Robyn needs rest, I don’t want to stop her resting.
If I’m there, she’ll have us watching monster trucks and you
haven’t seen her when she’s watching monster trucks. It isn’t
relaxing,” Cole remarked with a smile.

“Shall I make us some more coffee?” Maggie
suggested.

“Sure, that would be great,” he answered.

“Hi, honey! Oh, look at you! You look so pale. She
looks pale, Bob. Doesn’t she look pale?” Pam fussed as she, Bob,
Sienna, and Sierra entered Robyn’s room.

“She looks a lot better now than she did on that
gurney last night,” Bob said, smiling at his niece.

“We bought you a program. Daddy says you like to read
the programs and there’s a cool picture of you from the game
against Reading,” Sierra announced, holding the brochure out to
her.

“Yeah, you’re screaming at Brad. It was right when he
gave the puck away and they almost scored,” Sienna added.

“Am I drooling?”

“Almost,” Bob answered.

“What you did last night, Robyn, was really stupid
and dangerous and…” Pam started as she sat in the chair next to
Robyn’s bed.

“We thought it was amazing. Daddy’s going to put
flyers up at school and try and get a girls’ team together,” Sienna
interrupted excitedly.

“You are?” Robyn asked.

“Sure, and if there’s enough interest, I don’t mind
taking them for practice sessions,” Bob said.

“But that could be a long way off, you know, if
nobody’s interested. I mean, when I was your age girls, I liked
Barbie and dress up and…” Pam started.

“Jeez woman, they like hockey, get over it. It’s good
they have an interest at last,” Bob butted in.

“We can play Barbies too, Mommy,” Sierra
suggested.

“Yeah, ice hockey Barbie. We can get her an outfit
and pads and she can mash up Ken,” Sienna said a glint in her
eye.

“Ssh, not so loud girls. Robyn’s meant to be resting.
So, when can you come home, honey? Bob’s redecorated the guest
room; I can look after you, and…” Pam started.

“I’m waiting for my meds and then Cole’s coming to
pick me up. I’m going home, you know, Woodhams Avenue…with Cole,”
Robyn told her.

“But, honey, you need to rest and I can take some
time off work and…” Pam continued.

“I don’t do resting,” Robyn said firmly.

“No, but you do have broken ribs and that means you
need to slow down,” Bob joined in.

“But it doesn’t mean I have to stop living with Cole.
That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Why don’t you want me living
with Cole?” Robyn asked, narrowing her eyes.

“We like Cole,” Sienna announced.

“He’s hot,” Sierra agreed.

“This has nothing to do with me,” Bob insisted,
wanting to avoid confrontation.

“We like Cole, of course we do, but living together?
In a relationship? Isn’t it a bit quick, honey?” Pam asked her.

“It’s my business,” Robyn said.

“I know, honey, but we’re your family and…” Pam
began.

“I’m twenty-five. Back in England, I’ve been a
mistress to a middle-aged car salesman. Do you want to give me your
opinion on that too?”

“Cole’s a lot younger and he has really nice hair,”
Sienna said.

“And rock hard abs,” Sierra added.

“Girls!” Bob exclaimed.

“I know what I’m doing,” Robyn insisted.

“We just want to look after you, don’t we, Bob?” Pam
continued.

“This has nothing to do with me,” Bob said.

“I can look after myself,” Robyn said with a
sigh.

“The jury’s still out on that one,” Pam said, folding
her arms across her chest.

“Well, if you really want to help me, you could stop
by the roadhouse and see how Milo’s doing. I was expecting a
delivery of the jumping castle and the fake plants. He’s no good at
decor. Could you give it the once over? Spruce it up a bit? I’m not
going to be able to get over there until the morning, and Nancy’s
tied up with Dad,” Robyn said.

“Of course! We can do that, can’t we girls? We can
get it looking really nice for Robyn,” Pam agreed.

“Do we get soda?” Sierra questioned.

“Hello Robyn.”

Trudy Franklin was now well into her forties, but
Robyn was almost certain she was wearing the same suit she had worn
all those years ago when she had interviewed her following the
rape. Her brown hair was graying at the temples and she was wearing
silver framed glasses. Standing on the doorstep with her was a
fresh-faced female police officer dressed in traditional uniform.
She smiled at Robyn, but she looked almost uncomfortable.

“Hi, come in. This is Cole, by the way, he’s my…well,
we live together,” Robyn said quickly, grimacing as she led the way
into the living room.

Her ribs were on fire, breathing was
difficult—walking and breathing was even worse.

“Pleased to meet you. And Robyn, this is Officer
Doyle. She’s here to take your statement and make sure I do
everything right,” Trudy said, sitting down on the sofa.

“It’s Lisa,” the officer informed her, smiling.

“Shall I make some coffee?” Cole offered.

“Yeah, and chips and dip,” Robyn suggested.

“Not for me, thank you, I just had lunch,” Trudy
said.

“Yeah, me too, but you know, dessert can be savory
right?” Robyn responded.

She was trying to keep things light-hearted. The last
time she had to recount the night of the rape, she’d been in the
police station, dressed in clothes that weren’t hers while what she
had been wearing was forensically examined.

Trudy smiled at her and then reached forward and took
hold of Robyn’s hands.

“It’s okay to cry, you know. You don’t have to be
brave with us. I know how hard this all must be,” Trudy said,
looking at Robyn intently.

“I don’t want to cry, thanks, but I might if you keep
making me lean forward. I had a disagreement with a mountain of an
ice hockey player and I’ve got broken ribs,” Robyn informed her,
trying to quell the pain.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. Are you sure you’re
up to this right now? I mean, we can…” Trudy began, dropping
Robyn’s hands and quickly putting a cushion behind her back.

“I don’t want to postpone. I just want to get it over
with and get it sorted out. I mean, if Jason didn’t do it, then
whoever did is still out there, right? And he could do it again. He
might have already done it again,” Robyn said.

“We’re looking into it already. We’re looking into
all the unsolved rapes in the state,” Lisa Doyle informed her,
getting out her notepad and setting up the voice recorder.

“Right, so, let’s do it—ask your questions,” Robyn
said, swallowing the knot of anxiety down as best as she could.

“When were you aware that someone was behind you?”
Trudy asked.

Robyn cradled her cup of coffee and Cole sat next to
her. The interviewing had barely started and already she was no
longer in the room. She was back on the road, that night, the rain
splattering her face, the wind buffeting her along, her stomach
full of hot dogs, miserable because the Panthers had lost. She was
rushing home because she was already well past her mother’s curfew.
Eddie had driven her to the game but he’d stayed behind to give the
team the talking to of their lives after the poor performance. She
had school the next day and unfinished homework. Nothing about that
evening had been good.

“There wasn’t anyone behind me. I mean, I didn’t feel
anyone behind me and I looked back whenever I heard a car. The rain
was in my eyes and the wind was, well, you know what the wind’s
like around here,” Robyn said, her eyes glazing over.

“So the first moment you were aware that someone was
behind you was when…” Trudy started.

“The bag went over my head. The bag went over my head
and he was pulling me backwards, holding onto the bag so I couldn’t
get it off. His fists were by my jaw, he was pulling me off the
road, down the bank, toward the woods,” Robyn carried on.

“What was the bag made of Robyn?”

“Something like hessian, you know, burlap, I think…it
was rough. I had my eyes open, but everything was dark and
distorted, I couldn’t see,” she said, tears welling up in her
eyes.

“And what happened next?” Trudy asked as Officer
Doyle continued to jot things down.

“I was trying to fight him off, but he was strong. He
was holding the bag over my head and still managing to push me
where he wanted me to go.”

“Can you give me a body type? Tall? Slim? Broad?
Anything you can remember.”

“I don’t know, tall, I think, but I’m not sure. He
was so strong, I mean, I couldn’t get away. I really tried and I
tried to scream. I was screaming the whole time, but the bag and
the wind were just taking it away.”

“So how far did he pull you?”

“I don’t know, not far, I guess…a couple of yards,
just into the trees…I think, I don’t know. Everything was just
happening and I couldn’t stop it.”

“And what happened then? You said in your previous
statement he pushed you down on the ground.”

“He did. But he didn’t ever let go of the bag. He
pushed me and he kind of came down with me,” Robyn said, staring
into the room but only seeing the scene playing in her mind.

“And did he say anything?”

“No. He never spoke. After the initial screaming, I
tried to be calm and tried to reason with him. I said if he just
let me go, that would be the end of it and I would never tell
anyone what he’d tried to do. I wouldn’t go to the police, it would
just be forgotten. But he didn’t say anything, and the more I
talked, the angrier he seemed to get. Then I was crying and I was
screaming again and I was pleading with him to let me go,” Robyn
said as the emotion overwhelmed her and she let out a sob.

“Do you really need to do all this? I mean…” Cole
started, reaching for Robyn’s hand.

“Please, we don’t want to break Robyn’s
concentration,” Trudy told him.

“I know, but…” Cole began.

“You don’t have to stay, Cole. I’ll be okay,” Robyn
assured him, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m not sure I want to hear what he did to you. I
don’t want to even think about what he did to you,” Cole whispered
to her.

“I know,” Robyn replied, squeezing his hand.

“Shall we take a break?” Trudy offered.

“No, I’m fine. You don’t have to listen, Cole,
honestly,” Robyn insisted, looking up at him.

“I don’t want to let you down.”

“You’re not letting me down.”

“When I think about what he did to you, it makes me
feel sick,” Cole told her.

“It makes us all feel sick, Cole. In fact, I was
sick, all those years ago, right after I interviewed Robyn for the
first time. And I thought we had our man…to find out that we
haven’t is hard for me, too,” Trudy assured him.

“Go make some more coffee,” Robyn suggested to
him.

“No, I want to support you.”

“Then if you want to support me, you’re going to have
to hear what he did. Because like it or not, what he did to me is
part of me…an unsavory part, but a part all the same.”

“I know that.”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

“But we’re black-bagging the old parts as of today
because I’m ready to make new parts now and I want to make them
with you,” Robyn said, holding his hand.

“Then I’m staying and we’re going to finish this
together,” Cole said, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

“Take your time, Robyn,” Trudy said when Robyn’s
breathing quickened.

It hurt her to remember. Her heart rate sped up, her
mind ached with the weight of the memory, and the pain she had felt
on that night she could still feel now. It was like she was being
raped all over again.

“I could barely breathe, the sack was getting tighter
and tighter, and my throat was hurting. I tried kicking, but
nothing worked and the pain just got worse. So I stopped lashing
out and I thought if I just let him do whatever he wants to do, he
might not kill me,” Robyn tried to explain.

“I’m sorry, Robyn; we need to know exactly what he
did,” Trudy reminded her.

Robyn took a deep breath and squeezed Cole’s
hand.

“He pulled down my jeans and my underwear and he
started touching me,” Robyn said robotically.

She had bitten the inside of the bag as hard as she
could while he touched her, wishing for it to be over. The wind had
howled and she had tried to focus on the storm rather than what was
happening to her. Despite the ugliness of the event, his touch
hadn’t been brutal.