Super (Book 2): Super Duper (9 page)

I left Bob on the roof and came back down to my
apartment. Once inside, I was left with nothing but my
thoughts and the sounds of my stomach rumbling. I couldn’t
do anything about the thoughts. But the food problem was
easily solvable.

I grabbed my wallet and keys and headed out to the
bodega on Lefferts. It was late but if I sweet talked Rafi I
could maybe get that bacon, egg, and cheese I had missed out
on the other morning.

Walking in the cool night air, I tried to clear my mind
of all of the thoughts bouncing around. On the forefront, I
was thinking about my hearing tomorrow. I knew somewhere
Miss Fine was sleeping soundly thinking about how she was
gonna rip me to shreds in front of the Licensing Board. And
what could I say to them that would make them consider me
instead of an official Auditor? I didn’t know.

I also thought about my conversation on the roof. First
with Mike and his odd question. He really threw me for a
loop. And I threw myself for a loop, too because I didn’t know
I really felt that way until I’d said it. Even Outside Bob had
me second guessing myself. Was being a Super my calling or
was the very thing that was trapping me? And would it even
matter after tomorrow?

I shook it off as I walked into the bodega. “Hey Rafi.
Can I get a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll?”
“I’d do it, Audrey, but we’re out of eggs until
tomorrow.” He really did look apologetic.
“How about a roast beef and pepper jack on a roll?”
“No problem. Mayo, lettuce, tomato, and pickle?”
I nodded. “Yes to all of that. And slide me an extra
piece of cheese on that while you’re at it.”
“Extra cheese. Got it.”
“No,” I said. “I want as much cheese as you can give
me without having to charge me for extra cheese. He shook
his head at me and went to work. I wandered to the back
of the store, picking up various snacks along the way. I was
contemplating the pros and cons of cream soda versus the
root beer when I heard the familiar jingle of the bells on the
door.
“Don’t move, motherfucker! Just give me the money!”
I turned around to see a guy standing in front of Rafi
holding a gun. He probably hadn’t seen me in the back of
the store because I could barely see him from my position. I
crotched down a bit so he wouldn’t notice me and inched a
little closer to the front.
Rafi inched away from the grill and back to the register.
He didn’t say anything, as if this were something that had
happened to him a few times. He just deftly put the money
into a paper bag and put it on the counter. I moved a little
closer down the aisle.
Even from my position, I could see the guy’s hand
shaking.
Just take the money and go
, I thought. By now, I had
inched close enough so that I was just maybe five large lunges
away from him. There couldn’t have been more than two
hundred dollars in that bag but he already had it so he should
go before something bad happened.
But he didn’t leave. “Turn around,” he said to Rafi.
When he didn’t move fast enough, the guy with the gun
yelled “Turn the fuck around!” Rafi did what he asked. The
guy with the gun picked up the bag and stuffed it into his
sweatshirt. Then he raised his gun a little higher, aiming it for
the back of Rafi’s head.
I had no plan. My hand grabbed a family sized can
of corn and lobbed it as hard as I could at the back of the
robber’s head. He fell to the ground with groan and a thud,
knocked out cold.
As I reached down to pick up the gun and point it at
the guy, Rafi turned around. “Call the cops,” I said. “And get
my sandwich off of the grill before it burns up.”
He scrambled for the cordless phone and dialed
frantically. “Oh, man. You can get extra cheese any time you
want it, Audrey.”

“You’ll never believe what happened,” I said to Crash
as soon as I walked back into the apartment. After the cops
left with the robber, Rafi made me a really fat sandwich with
tons of cheese and gave me a bunch of snacks at no charge.
He even told me not to bother deciding between the cream
soda and the root beer. He gave me both. Believe it or not, it
was the best reward I’d ever gotten for Super work.

Back at home, I recounted the whole story to Crash,
who seemed completely unimpressed. But I didn’t let his lack
of enthusiasm dampen my way excitement. As I curled up
in on the couch under a blanket with all of my booty and
munched away quietly, I thought about how funny it was that
an hour ago, I was so sure that I wanted to do one thing. And
now, I wasn’t so sure anymore.
I never feel quite like I’m doing
anything right
, I thought.
Until I something like that happens.

“I think I want to be a Super,” I said out loud. Crash
shook his little fishy head back and forth. “Yeah, you’re right.
And no, I don’t know how to fix it.”

The next morning, I woke up before my alarm. I’d
never done before. Or rather, I’d never done that before and
not gone back to sleep.

I wanted to be dressed appropriately but most of my
wardrobe consisted of jeans and hoodies. I did find a black
dress that had seen funerals, dates, and interview in the back
of my closet. And I threw a blazer over it. I wasn’t sure where
it had come from. I think I stole it from Ella one time and just
never gave it back. I pulled my hair back into a puff and even
put on a little lip gloss. If I was getting locked up today, I
would look nice doing it.

I fed Crash on the way out and put my face close to
his bowl. “Hey, I might get locked up today. If I do, I’ll use
my one phone call to ask Ella to come get you. She might not
want to do it because she got stuck with Din-Din. So try to
look cute and easy when she comes, just in case.” He turned
his back to me and swam away. Obviously, he was in denial.
I locked up and left.

On the stoop, I spotted Mr. Umberson walking toward
the building. He was carrying the same gym bag I’d last
seen him with. This time, he paused and lifted a small black
and white spotted dog of the bag. I stopped in mid-step and
called out “Good morning, Mr. Umberson. What’s your dog’s
name?”

Well, that just pissed me off. He was obviously
holding a dog. Why did everyone think I was an idiot? “Mr.
Umberson,” I repeated sternly. “What is your dog’s name?”

“Harry,” he admitted. He was my dog with my exwife. She got him in the divorce but then she moved back to
Florida with her new husband and said I could have him. But
I’d already moved in here.” His face deflated and I felt a stab
of empathy. I had told a lie or two to my landlords over the
years. Mostly, it was about how I was gonna pay the rent. But
at least Mr. Umberson was always on current.

“Listen, this never happened. You understand?”
“Wha-What do you mean?”
I gestured to the dog. “I never saw Harry. And I’m

not gonna see Harry again. And if anyone ever finds out that
Harry is here—like the owner or my sister—I’m gonna say
that I didn’t know about him. Got it?”

He looked confused. “Your sister?”
“Yeah. Looks like me except a lot snootier and a lot less
wrinkled. You see her or the owner, you better make Harry
scarce.”
“No problem. Thank you, Audrey. Thank you!”
Mr. Umberson and Harry went inside and I started to
walk to the subway. I was just about to go down the stairs
when I saw Mike coming up the stairs. “Hey!” he said.
I never see anyone from the building unless I’m
actually in the building, I thought to myself. And today, it’s
like every tenant is waiting on the sidewalk for me. I waved at
him and tried to walk past him down the stairs.
“Hey,” he said again. “I was hoping I’d see you today.”
“Is your garbage disposal broken again?”
“No,” he smiled. “And if it was I know you can’t fix it
anyway.”
He had a point. “Well, you’ve already paid your rent
so I can’t think of anything else.”
“Actually, I wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed
being trapped with you last night. And I think—”
“I’m sorry, Mike,” I interrupted. “But I need to stop
you right there. You don’t want to ever be trapped with me.
I am trouble. I am a mess. And you don’t want to get any of
this mess on you.”
He seemed amused. He smiled a bit and his eyes
twinkled. “How do you know what I want?”
“You’re right. I don’t know so let me rephrase this,”
I explained. “I have enough mess and I don’t want to bring
anyone else into it. Now, for the first time in a long time, I’m
actually on time. And I want it to stay that way. So I gotta go.
But if you need anything else tenant related, let me know.”
I basically told him to get lost. And with that, I turned
and rushed down the stairs to the waiting 2 train without
looking back to see if he took my advice or not.

“We’re here to determine whether Ms. Hart should
keep her license. Representing the Council, we have Miss
Fine. Miss Hart will be representing herself.”

It was nearly three PM and I had spent the entire day
in the Council building in midtown. Apparently, the starting
time on the Council notice was just a suggestion. I wasn’t
the only case slated for that day. For once I was on time for
something and I had to wait for a ton of other hearings to
finish before I could go into mine.

When the clerk finally led me into one of hearing
rooms, it was laid out like a courtroom. Miss Fine was already
there, seated a table with an array of file boxes next to her.
She glanced at me as the clerk led me to the remaining table
parallel to hers and I sat down.

Moments later, three Licensing Board members in
long robes filed into the room and took their places on the
dais. The one that seemed to be in charge introduced them
but I was too nervous to remember their names. I just thought
of the one in charge as Baldy and the other two as Shorty and
Big Nose.

They started with Miss Fine. For almost an hour, I
listened to her lay out why I was such a bad Super. She told
them about my underwhelming powers. She told them about
my lack of dedication. She went over my history of past due
Council dues. And she had props. She brought out charts and
affidavits for all of it. After each point, she passed out copies
of the evidence to the Board members.

It was a good thing I didn’t think too highly of myself
because by the end of all of that, I would have been suicidal.
And to think, just over a week ago, I had no idea I would be
here.

By the time it was my turn, I had zoned out. Baldy
gestured to me. “Ms. Hart, would you like to say anything on
your behalf.”

Miss Fine let out a chuckle. It was almost cute. If I hadn’t
heard it come from her with my own two ears, I wouldn’t
have believed it. Baldy banged his gavel and looked at her
sternly. “Elphaba, please maintain decorum.”

Elphaba? I thought to myself. No wonder she didn’t
want to tell me.
I cleared my throat. “Well, she’s right.” I gestured to
Miss Fine. “I
am
behind on my dues but I can take care of them
today if you’ll take a check from my dad. My district numbers
aren’t
great but I can work to improve them. And yeah, I don’t
have an amazing power. I can’t fly or walk through walls or
anything. But you can’t choose your powers. You have to just
work with what you have. And I do.”
The Board members looked back at me quietly.
These
people should play professional poker,
I thought.
They have the best
poker faces.
Since no one spoke, I just continued.
“I never claimed to be perfect. I know I have room for
improvement. In fact, I don’t think I ever chose to be a Super.
My parents are Supers. I developed my powers and then
I was sent off to school. The next thing I knew I was going
for a license. I can’t remember one time ever being offered a
different choice. There have been times when I have wished
for a different life but this audit process has made me more
sure than ever that being a Super is exactly what I want. I’m
ready to choose this life.”
“Do you deserve to keep your license?”
I shook my head. “Fuck no.” There was an audible
gasp. “Sorry.” I cleared my throat and started again. “I mean,
I think that if I did, I’d be lying. But I’m ready to show you
that I deserve a second chance.”
Baldy shuffled some papers in front of him. “Well, it
seems we have enough information to make our decision. All
parties will be notified of the outcome. Until then, you are
free to continue to practice as Super, Ms. Hart. This hearing is
adjourned.” He banged the gavel and that was that.

Walking out of the hearing, I was surprised to hear my
name. That was quickly followed by a stab of fear because
the only person who knew me by name in the headquarters
was Miss Fine. I looked around for her, planning to run in the
opposite direction.

“Audrey! Over here!” And then I saw them. My mom,
my dad, and my sister. And that’s when I really wanted to run.
But they ran up on me before I could even make the decision
to get out of there. Besides, it’s not like I wasn’t going to see
them again. “Well? How did it go?” Mom immediately asked.

“I don’t know. OK, I guess. They’re going to send out a
notice with the decision,” I explained. “How did you know?”
Dad put a meaty hand on my shoulder. “Come on. You
made it pretty obvious. Asking all of these questions about
audits and handbooks and tests. I know a few people in the
licensing department, so I asked to get the heads up when
your hearing started. We all wanted to be here when you got
out.” Mom and Ella nodded behind him.
“But how long have you known?”
“Mom told me,” Ella shrugged.
“Your father told me,” Mom added in.
“I knew when you came over looking for your
handbook,” Dad said. “You’ve moved in and out of the house
since school and you’ve never come back asking for your
handbook. There had to be a reason.”
Ella shook her head. “And all those questions about
audits! For someone who lies a lot, you’re really, really bad
at it.”
I signed. “So basically, everyone knew the whole
time?” They all nodded. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t
you
say anything?” Mom asked. “We
could have helped you, you know.”
“I know. I just. . . I just figured you guys would all freak
out and then it would make it worse. I figured I should just
take care of it by myself for once. You know, be a grownup,”
I finished.
Dad rolled his eyes. “And that’s what you just don’t get
yet, Junior. Being an adult means knowing when to handle it
on your own and knowing when to call in reinforcements.
You’ll get I one day. Now, who’s hungry? How about
Shogun?”