Soul of the Wildcat (17 page)

Anticipating his success, Dakoda set to work. She wanted to have a good, hot fire going by the time he returned.

T
aking off her jacket and stashing the few items they had in a shady spot, Dakoda rolled up her sleeves and went to work. With almost four days' wear, her uniform was a filthy mess. She eyed the river, considering a quick dip. She'd never been so filthy in her entire life.

I'll get a bath later
, she decided. First some food, then some play.

Locating a clear spot under the trees, Dakoda raked away all the debris on the ground, raking a patch down to bare earth. Finding a slightly curved stone, she used it as a hand tool to dig a shallow hole in the ground, about a foot wide and almost as deep. She circled the small pit with stones, then lined the bottom and sides. Once they heated, the stones would double the temperature of the fire. A larger, flatter stone provided a perfect surface to prepare food on.

Finding wood dry enough to burn clean presented a bit of a problem. Recent rains had drenched the area, leaving everything a little damp. Smoke was caused by damp wood. It took some scouting around to find something she thought she could use. She didn't pick up a lot of tinder, instead choosing average-sized pieces that would burn out completely and quickly. A log would smoke too much, as would twigs, leaves, or needles. Her goal was to keep it small, hot, fiery, and dry with no debris.

Once she located enough to fill the pit, Dakoda set to getting the fire going. Since using kindling was out, she did the next best thing, adding a sprinkling of tequila over the wood. The liquor was highly flammable and would act as an accelerant. Having drunk almost half a bottle a few nights ago, they'd decided to hang on to the rest for medicinal purposes, adding it to the first-aid kit. While starting a fire wasn't exactly the way they'd decided to use it, Dakoda decided hunger was a definite potential emergency.

I want to eat
, she thought.
The sooner the better
.

It took only minutes to get a cheery fire going. The wood burned clean, giving off almost no smoke. An occasional light breeze fanned the flames, causing them to snap and crackle in the pit.

Tossing a few extra pieces into the pit, she decided to see what she could add to the day's meal. The mountains could provide quite a bounty to the knowledgeable hunter. Only the stupid would starve.

She set to digging around the bases of the trees and bushes, clearing away leaves. Her search turned up a cluster of mushrooms with broad round caps.

Edible or not?

Dakoda examined her find. During survival training, she'd learned how to discern the edible from the poisonous. She already knew to strictly avoid any parasol-shaped mushrooms with white gills and any little brown mushrooms. Round or pear-shaped mushrooms were sometimes safe to eat.

Picking one, she examined the bright orange cap. Smooth and hairless, it became wavy at the edge. Encouraged by the look, she broke it open. The flesh inside was firm and white, tinged with yellow and smelled fruity, like apricots. There was no sign of insect infestation or other decay.

Pay dirt.

“Hot damn.” She gathered the mushrooms up and carried them to the nearby stream, washing away the dirt and grit. Speckled brook trout darted beneath the surface, indignant at the disturbance. “Man, what I wouldn't give to have a nice fishing pole about now.”

On her way back to the fire she spotted another possible source of nutrition, a smattering of Queen Anne's Lace. The umbel of tiny white flowers looked vaguely like a crown. But it wasn't the flowers she wanted, but what was underneath. Wild carrots.

As she unearthed the tiny, tender roots, a bit of trivia about the plant crept into her mind. The crushed seeds of the plant had long been used as a natural contraceptive by native women.

The possibility she could become pregnant was one she'd refused to think about these last few days. As a single, unattached woman, she'd decided to decline the use of a contraceptive. If and when she met someone she wanted to sleep with, she could easily go back on birth control. What she hadn't foreseen was that she would meet a man she wanted to have sex with—in a circumstance where not even a condom could be had. At the time the belief death was imminent had spurred her passion on. She'd clung to Jesse for comfort and support during their first harrowing night together. The consequences that might arise from their lovemaking hadn't been a concern at the time.

Now, they were.

Dakoda did a quick bit of calculation. “Shit,” she breathed. “What if I'm pregnant?” Her mind whirled in near panic. It was true she and Jesse seemed to fit together now, but what would happen when they returned to the real world, to the paths they'd been walking before one overlapped the other?

It didn't take a genius to figure out imprisonment automatically forced people into an alliance. In this case, they had shared the desire to escape captivity. How could she be sure her feelings for Jesse were real, and not just the psychology of a victim at work? Was it possible she was really falling in love with him? She understood lust, a purely physical, hormonally driven craving that was easily satisfied. Love was different, way outside her sphere of experience. Singers composed songs, poets wrote flowery odes, writers even wrote romances where happily ever after was the rule. Real life was different, though, and some else's emotions were a messy thing to deal with.

Running away was an easy solution. It had worked for years. Now, there was noplace to go. And in having to stop and face herself, Dakoda had to admit she was tired of holding men at arm's length. Jesse had done more than mesmerize her with his fantastic body. He'd wormed his way into her life, coiling around her heart and tying tight knots. Inescapable knots.

Every morning they awoke together the first thing she wanted to do was make love to him. Even though they were out in the open and exposed to all sorts of danger, she somehow felt safe, content even, curled in Jesse's protective embrace.

She hadn't seriously cared for a man since Ashton Jenkins, and he was a father figure, not a lover. She believed she wasn't the kind of woman destined to fall in love, since she'd never wanted to stay long with any man—a remnant of her mother's bad habits. Truth be told, she just didn't have enough faith in her own staying power. It was easier to pick up and run than it was to commit. If she ran first, she wouldn't be the one who got hurt.

But are my feelings for Jesse real?
she asked herself. Damn, if they didn't feel that way. The way her gut clenched when she believed he was in danger…The way she craved his touch…The way she looked forward to evening's fall, so they could find a safe, warm nook and curl up together…Desire rose inside her like slow, rolling thunder.

Oh, hell!
Dakoda knew then she'd been bitten by the love bug. It was the real thing and she was in deep, way over her head and struggling to keep afloat. She wished she felt more secure with the realization. But considering the complications of starting a new relationship under such duress, all she felt was confused and more than a little bit lost. It would have been pure and absolute bliss if her mind could slow down, but it couldn't. One thought inevitably led to another.

Well, that answered at least one question. As for the other, it was probably best not to mention the possibility of a baby until she was absolutely sure where she stood with Jesse. Giving him something else to worry about when they were still in such deep trouble wouldn't be fair to either of them. They were both physically and mentally stressed, under a lot of pressure. Those weren't exactly the ideal circumstances for making a baby.

She sighed. “I'll pull a Scarlett, and think about it tomorrow.” Finished gathering the cache of carrots, she washed and carried them back to camp. Right now it wouldn't do any good to think beyond the present. Each hour of each day was already enough of a challenge to get through. There was no reason to pile on the complications when there weren't any to deal with.

Yet
.

Dakoda sat back on her haunches, pleased with her haul. She hoped Jesse would be, too. Who would have guessed a thoroughly modern woman who didn't have a single skill in the kitchen would be able to settle into domesticity so easily? In her world, any thought of cooking usually involved a frozen entrée and a glass of wine.

Her stomach rumbled, reminding her it would soon need an infusion of real food and not just nibbles at carrots and mushrooms. She was trying to hold off eating them, hoping to add them to whatever Jesse might bring back. He'd been gone a long time. Even in his cougar form, there were a lot of dangerous things he could run into. One wrong step down a jagged ridge could break a bone. Not to mention the fact cougars weren't the only dangerous predator living in these mountains. Black bears and bobcats, not to mention the timber rattlers and other crawlies like centipedes.

A crash of brush alerted her to his return. He pushed through a hedge of growth, trotting into the little clearing. A nice fat brown rabbit dangled from his mouth.

Setting the rabbit down on the grass, Jesse shifted back into human form. “Damn, that little bastard could run,” he said, heading toward the stream. He walked with a lithe and feral grace, perfectly at home in this wilderness. His male beauty was spectacular. Simply stunning.

Wading into the cool water, Jesse doused himself from head to foot, rinsing the sweat and grime off his deeply tanned skin.

Speechless, mute, and strangled with need, Dakoda stared with pure admiration as the water sluiced over the hard planes of his shoulders, trickling down his back to caress the curves of his finely molded ass. He looked magnificent when he lifted his arms, brushing a mass of long, dark, soaking tendrils away from his face. For a moment she could have easily mistaken him for a water spirit rising from clear sparkling depths.

A slow burst of heat spread through her core when he walked back on shore, striding toward her like a god about to conquer his chosen virgin. Snagging his jeans, he slipped them on, then shoved his bare feet into his moccasins.

Enjoying the view, Dakoda grinned up at him. “Feel better?”

Jesse walked over to the fire she'd built. “Much,” he said, eyeing her handiwork. “Looks like you've been busy.”

She poked the fire with a stick and added more wood. “I found some mushrooms and wild carrots. Not much, but it'll add to what you caught.”

Jesse retrieved the dead rabbit. “I have to admit I'm hankering for a good hot meal. Just need to skin it and get it ready for roasting.” He pulled out the stolen pocketknife, unfolding a sharp blade.

Dakoda gulped at the thought of the rabbit's guts spilling out before its skin was ripped away from its body. “Anything I can do?” she asked, eager not to witness the entire process. While she had no objection to eating meat and frequently partook of a nice cut of steak or a plump chicken breast, she'd never been up close and personal with regard to the slaughter of said animal.

Jesse looked up from the carcass. “If you could find some thick green branches to make a spit out of, that would be great.”

Dakoda nodded. “I think I can manage that.” She trotted off before the urge to vomit hit full-force. Aside from nibbling some mushrooms and carrots, her stomach was empty and she didn't want to be caught dry heaving.

H
aving a squeamish stomach wouldn't do when it came to living in the mountains. A person had to be tough, rawboned, able to take the materials at hand and fashion them into the necessary tools for survival. Killing and preparing an animal for eating played a big part of daily survival.

Dakoda wasn't sure she could do that at all.

The fantasies she'd spun around joining the Tlvdatsi way of life suddenly seemed less enticing when put into such a perspective. Though she wasn't a sissy when it came to roughing it, she still remained a city girl at heart. She couldn't begin to imagine her life without modern plumbing and a grocery store down the street. Living on the edge day after day would begin to wear on her nerves.

Thank God she hadn't put her foot in her mouth with regards to Jesse. The door was always open, an easy out if she needed it. Surely he'd understand why their two ways of life didn't mesh…

Her brow wrinkled.
There you go again
, she silently chastised herself. Running every possible scenario straight into the ground. Nothing had happened yet, no solid decisions needed to be made just this second. When they did, she'd deal with them. Until then, she needed to stop driving herself crazy with
what if
…

“Just deal with
what now
,” she muttered.

Finding a tree with a few good thick branches, she began to break them off and strip off the bark. Green and flexible, the long strips of bark would make good ties. Working with her hands gave her time to think, something she seemed to be doing too much of already.

I'm not sure I could stay here with Jesse
.

Her idea about considering things another time was beginning to look like a good piece of advice. No reason to say or do anything that would put either of them in an awkward position. After all, she had a career to pursue. And she'd gotten along fine without a man in her life for quite a while. Once things returned to normal it was entirely possible she and Jesse wouldn't have a thing in common. Lust wasn't enough to build a relationship on. The sex would eventually wear thin.

Then what? Another messy breakup?

No thanks
, her mind filled in.

Finished with the branches, she carried them back over to camp. She crouched beside him, bringing her into disturbingly close proximity with his half-naked body. Close enough for her to lean forward and plant her lips on his if she wanted to. The memory of their sultry nights of lovemaking swirled through her skull with hurricane force.

She cleared her throat. “Will these do?” she asked, trying to act like anything but sex was on her mind. Every damn time she got close to him, all she wanted to do was drag him down and have sex with him. The man's magnetism was like an invading disease, giving her a dizzy head, swimmy stomach, and trembling legs.

Yeah, he definitely had something potent going on there.

Jesse nodded. “Perfect.” Having prepared and cleaned the rabbit, he set to fashioning a spit and propping it over the fire to test its distance from the flames. Making a few adjustments, he pronounced himself satisfied. “This ought to do just fine.” Impaling the rabbit through and through, he set it over the pit to cook.

The flames licked hungrily at the rabbit's raw flesh, causing the meat to sizzle like ham in a frying pan. The delicious scent of roasting meat began to fill the air.

Dakoda leaned close and took a deep breath. “That smells like heaven.” The aroma of the meat seasoned by the wood brought to mind images of barbeque and tall glasses of ice-cold freshly brewed tea, two of her favorite things in summer. Saliva rose in her mouth even as her stomach rumbled with impatience. If she'd known the rabbit was going to smell this damn good, she'd have gutted it herself. The idea of country living was a little more appealing when a solid meal was in sight.

He grinned. “Glad you think so. By the look on your face a while ago, you'd have thought I was skinning a rattlesnake to eat.”

Dakoda froze. A residual shiver of terror over the timber rattler incident shimmied down her spine. “You would eat a snake?”

His grin widened. “Of course. I have several times. They're quite tasty, if a little bit fatty.”

She frowned. “I suppose you're going to tell me it tastes like chicken.”

“Actually it does.” Using the tip of a stick, Jesse turned the carcass so the other side would roast evenly. “You ever eat rabbit?”

Images of sweet little fat bunnies swept across her mind's screen. She quickly shook her head. Wild rabbits were quite different from pet-store rabbits. They were meant to be hunted, eaten. “No, I can't say that I have,” she said slowly. “It's not on the menu of the places I usually dine.”

“No French restaurants for you, huh?”

Tension uncoiling a bit, Dakoda had to laugh. “I don't get into places like that very often. In fact, never. My idea of dining out is grabbing a pizza or a burger and fries from the drive-through.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “Oh, God, don't mention pizza. I haven't had a slice in years. Man, I wish one would fall out of the sky right about now.”

She rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of the request. “While you're at it, wish for a pitcher of dark German beer to go with it.”

Jesse picked at the mushrooms and carrots she'd laid out on the flat stone. “Guess these will have to do,” he said, munching a carrot. He chewed thoughtfully, then swallowed. “Would be nice if we had some dip. Ranch would be good.”

She considered his comment. “Do you miss living in a more hospitable world?”

Lifting the cooked meat off the fire, Jesse smiled ruefully. “Honestly? Every damn day, sometimes twice a day,” he said, carving the meat into smaller pieces to cool. “I mean, it wasn't like I was born in these mountains. Sure, this is the land of my ancestors and I've got some crazy bloodline that lets me turn into a cougar, but do I really belong here?” He shook his head. “Shit, it's a question I've asked myself over and over.”

“You mean, to shift or not to shift?” she asked.

Jesse smiled ruefully. “Yeah, something like that.”

Without quite knowing what prompted her, Dakoda decided to do a little subtle digging. “You ever think of leaving?”

“You mean go home, back to a real life instead of spending my days running around on four paws?”

She nodded.

He looked at her a long time, his mental wheels clearly turning. “I would go back in a heartbeat—if I had never learned to shift. But now that I have and now that I know what I really am in this world…” He shrugged, looking around at the rugged landscape surrounding them. “How could I ever leave? I mean, you don't see a lot of cougars trotting on the asphalt.” His hand touched the ground, palm flat against the earth. Their gazes locked candidly for a moment. “Like it or not, this is where I belong.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” Dakoda's throat involuntarily tightened, barely allowing the words to escape.

Her brain betrayed her, circling back around to the exact subject she'd promised herself she wouldn't think about. She'd entertained the notion of luring him away from the mountains, but his words blew the idea right out of the water. He spoke bluntly and honestly. The implications behind his last statement clearly affirmed any woman he would be interested in would have to be one willing to join his beyond-the-ordinary lifestyle.

Her heart thudded dully in against her rib cage.
At least I know where things stand
.

Living in the mountains with a cougar? It was too damn far-fetched to even think about. Once this misadventure had come to its end, the best thing to do would be say good-bye, then move on. The human world and the feline world just wouldn't come together in her mind.

A feeling of dismay tied her guts into knots. This was not good. Not good at all. The logistics of their entire situation were getting too problematic, and she hated complicated.

Stop that!
she warned herself sharply. That's what she wanted to do right now. Stop thinking. Stop breathing. Stop being. The world needed to grind to a halt so she could get off and take a break. Otherwise she'd soon be picking her nose and drooling, a dim-witted lump of nothing useful.

Lifting her hand, Dakoda pressed her palm flat against her forehead. This entire stupid mess was beginning to give her a massive headache. A dull thud beat at her temples. “Excuse me while I have a small nervous breakdown.” The statement had nothing to do with anything they'd been discussing. Or did it? She wasn't sure any more.

Brow furrowing with concern, Jesse cleared his throat. “Are you okay?” A strong warm hand settled on her arm. His essence flowed over her, permeating her skin until she felt him in her blood, all the way to her bones.

The chemistry between them was undeniable. Just looking at him bought a distinctive sexual edge into play. Carnal energy practically snapped in the air between them.

Oh, man. He was so big. And so damn strong.

Dakoda jumped violently at his touch. Her insides contracted hard. She panted. Heat began creeping into her cheeks. Desire shuddered though her all over again. Her hormones were all over the place. Maybe it wasn't a pregnancy she'd better worry about, but a monthly. There was no telling how out of whack her cycle was from all the nervous tension.

Shaking off his hand with feigned nonchalance, she snorted inelegantly. “I'm fine.” Her eyes abruptly filled with tears, swimming with misery, fatigue, hunger, and just plain frustration. “I'll feel better when I get some food in me.”

Jesse looked at her closely, but made no comment about her uncharacteristic lapse into tears. His gaze briefly dropped to her mouth as if he were contemplating kissing her, but then darted away, leaving the impulse unfulfilled. “Right. That makes sense.” He picked up a slice of meat and held it out for her. “I think it's cool enough.”

Dakoda accepted the meat, pinching it between thumb and forefinger. She gave it a quick sniff. “Smells good.” Her experimental nibble turned into a mighty mouthful. Finding the meat more than palatable, she shoved the entire piece into her mouth. Closing her eyes, she chewed, savoring every tender bite.

Jesse watched her closely. “Good?”

She swallowed. “Oh, God, yes. It's delicious.”

He handed over more meat. “Eat up.”

Dakoda set to stuffing her mouth with the delicious hot food. “Thanks. I feel like a glutton.”

Jesse chewed a mouthful of his own food. “It does taste good after those terrible meal bars.”

“Wouldn't want a steady diet of those things,” she said between bites. Finished with the meat, she swallowed a few more mushrooms to top off her meal. She patted her stomach. “That's the first time I've felt alive in days.”

Jesse grinned. “Good. Then it was worth the effort.” He yawned and stretched. “And now what every great hunter needs after a hard hunt and nice meal is a nice long nap in the sun.” He eyed the grassy bank of the river. “I think I'm going to take a few minutes and sun myself.”

Dakoda laughed. “I suppose you're going to leave me to clean up the mess.” She frowned and shook a finger in mock disapproval. “Typical male.”

Jesse laughed. “Why don't you join me? Stretch out a few minutes and just rest in the sun.”

The idea of lying down beside him pushed her body into the feverish range. It wasn't a bad idea at all. Just an impractical one at the moment. As she'd worked, she'd caught a whiff of her own odor and the scent was, frankly, offensive. There was no way she'd be cuddling up with him until she'd had a good wash. Her skin literally felt alive with creepy crawlies.

She shook her head. “First I need a good head-to-toe wash.”

He brightened, raising a brow. “Oh. Can I watch?”

Walking over to the edge of the stream, Dakoda sat down to take off her boots and socks. “If you must,” she said, giving him a grin. The attraction between them flared, making her head spin.

Gaze raking her with salacious wickedness, Jesse grinned appreciatively. “Oh, I must,” he echoed with a laugh. “Absolutely.”

Dakoda laughed. “You flatter me.” She felt the dampness between her thighs at the thought of his cock sinking into her hungry sex.

She eyed his lanky frame.
Oh, yes. That would be perfect.

After all, Jesse wasn't the only one with a hankering for dessert.

Though she hadn't believed the day could get any better, she was about to find out just how good it was going to be.