Sorrow's Muse (7 page)

Yet, here they were
almost two months later. He didn’t believe she’d ever intentionally hurt him.
It wasn’t in her. But he did worry that the novelty would wear off and she’d be
tired of staying indoors and skulking around places at night like some sort of
vampire. He’d been doing a lot of thinking about leaving his comfort zone. She
made him feel as though anything was possible. His seclusion and fear were
starting to limit him in too many ways.
There’s no way I survived that fire
just to live my life in a bubble.

It was time he did more
than sit in the world he’d tailor-made to suit his needs. Time to live, even if
it meant putting his heart on the line. Bolstered by his decision, he decided
to call Paul tomorrow to see if Rocco still wanted him to work on his second
album.

Unintentionally, he’d
been putting together songs that would fit his second time around to a T. He
rested his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, content to
share the space with the one person besides Paul, willing to accept him as is.
He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve her, but he was going to hold on as
long as he could.

CHAPTER
TEN

J
ulian
felt nervous. Today, he and Colette were headed over to Paul’s for dinner. It
would be just the four of them grilling out on the back patio, but it was their
first time being out as a couple with others. His flesh heated and he cracked
his window.

“You okay? You’ve been
really quiet the whole ride.”

“Just thinking. I know
Paul hasn’t heard back about working with Rocco again and I’m kind of nervous.”

“You don’t want the
answer to be yes?”

“No, I do. It’s just—he
comes with a lot of speculation and paparazzi.”

“Ahh.” She paused. “For
what it’s worth, I know you’ll do an amazing job. I think it’s the next logical
step in your career and I think you’d be amazed by how supportive people are as
a whole. Look at J. R. Martinez from
Dancing with the Stars
. He’s broken
a lot of the stereotypes and ignorant behavior that occurs with burn victims.”

“But he’s a hero, someone
hurt in the line of duty while defending our country. It’s different.”

“Hmm, I don’t know that
it would be, Julian.”

He sighed. She made it
sound so easy. The thought of people prying into his past, making him relive
the fire and the treks from foster home to hospital, made his stomach ache.
It’d been a long time since he’d been bombarded by questions that made him remember.
He liked it that way. “We’ll see.”

She nodded, turning to
look out the window.

Thank God, she knows when
to leave things alone.

They listened to music
the rest of the drive. After he pulled up into the driveway, he exited the car
and opened her door. She hooked her arm through his and they headed up the
drive.

“You’ll like Gina. She’s
real personable, just like Paul.”

“I’m excited to meet your
friends. Though, I can’t say when I’ll get to return the favor. I’m sort of
starting from the ground up out here. Maybe I’ll have some visitors soon.”

“That’d be nice,” he
said. “Have you told them about me?”

“Oh yes, my best friend,
D and my sister, Calli, know all about the sexy, musically inclined man next
door who I gently persuaded to date me.”

“Is that how you see me?”

She gave him a sly
once-over that made his blood boil. “That’s the PG version.”

He chuckled at her
sauciness and knocked on the door.

Paul answered a minute
later. “Hey, guys, come on in.” He welcomed them inside the foyer, issued a
quick hug to Julian and kissed the back of Colette’s hand. “It’s lovely to see
you again, Colette. I thought I saw sparks going off between you two when we
first met. It’s good to see I wasn’t wrong.”

“Not one to beat around
the bush, are you?” Colette asked.

“Nope.”

They both laughed and he
relaxed. Tonight would be fun.

“Stop flirting with my
girlfriend and tell us where Gina is. We need her to keep you in line.”

“Come on. She’s waiting
for us in the backyard. We have beer, water and lemonade on ice…we weren’t sure
what you’d prefer, Colette. The meat is marinating and ready to be grilled
whenever we’re ready for it. We also have potato salad, baked beans and
watermelon in the fridge to go with it.”

“Sounds delicious,” she
said.

Paul led them through the
house and out onto the spacious green lawn that stretched out before them. The
sandstone patio had a natural design that was broken up by the monstrous silver
grill that sat up against the wall. Twenty feet away, the sound of the
waterfall attached to the alcove designed to look like a rock formation greeted
their ears.

Gina, who was sitting at
the black wrought iron table, stood to greet them. “You must be Colette! It’s
so nice to meet you. I’m Gina.”

“Hi.” Colette shook her
hand. “You have an amazing house.”

“Thank you. Can I get you
something to drink?”

“Lemonade would be
great.” She followed Gina over to the far corner where the bright red cooler
sat.

Paul turned to Julian
with a smile. “I didn’t want to say this in front of your girl, but I am so
happy for you, brother.” He patted his back. “This has been a long time
coming.”

“I’ll be the first to
admit I thought this day might never come. It feels good.” He glanced over to
where the two girls were alternating between conversation and sips of lemonade.

“Well, they seem to be
getting along well,” Paul noted.

“Yeah, Col is easy to get
along with.”

“Col, huh?” Paul smiled.
“How long have you two been together?”

Julian cleared his
throat. “About three and half months.”

“Why did you keep this
from me for so long?”

“I wanted to see if it
was actually going somewhere first. I’ve never been able to say, ‘
This
is
my girlfriend.’ It’s uncharted waters.” He shrugged. “It sounds stupid when I
say it out loud.”

“No, it doesn’t. I get
it, Jay. Just make sure she does too. Last thing a woman wants is to feel like
she’s a secret.”

Julian smiled. Paul had
been there through thick and thin. He was coming from a place of love with his
questions. It made him feel good.

“She understands.”

“Good.” Paul nodded. “Why
don’t we head over to join them?”

They rejoined the girls,
taking their seats beside their significant others.

*
* * *

I feel official.
She’d
never thought Julian felt ashamed of her, but as the months ticked down and
they continued to stay confined to their houses, she felt disheartened. If he
wasn’t willing to take her around his friends, he definitely wasn’t going to be
willing to give up his talent, possibly his career, for her.

She hated the timetable.
Every day it seemed to close in on her a little more. She peered over at him.
How would she let him go if he said no? She turned to stare out the window,
eager to get her mind off the negative path it had traveled.

CHAPTER
ELEVEN

C
olette
studied her reflection in the mirror. Her light pink dress was cinched at the waist
by a wide brown belt, which she paired with light brown knee-high boots. The
perfect ensemble for a night in, around a fondue pot with chocolate, champagne
and strawberries. It was the thought of showing Julian the naughty bits she
wore underneath that made her belly tighten.
He won’t know what hit him.
The
black lace baby-doll with the sheer black underwear was the tamest outfit she’d
purchased. She wanted to start off innocent and work her way up.

Her hand trembled as
doubts threatened to swallow her whole. They’d been moving along so well. He
didn’t flinch at her touch on his skin or act as if she’d disappear at any
moment. What if pushing for more set them back to start? The butterflies in her
stomach turned to boulders.
It’s been five months. It’s time.
Each time
they kissed, the words “I love you” struggled to climb their way out of her
mouth. She needed to know where they stood. But just in case it all went to
hell afterward, she wanted this one night with him to be as close as two people
could get.

With one last fluff of
her large curls, she turned on her heel and headed into the living room. What
felt like hours later, the doorbell rang, signaling her lover’s arrival. She
hurried to answer the door and grinned.

Dressed in a pair of loose-fitting
jeans with a white button-down and a gray skinny tie underneath a khaki trench
coat and his favorite pair of gray Converse, he was sexy quirkiness
personified.

“Come in, handsome.”

He stepped inside and
pulled her into him for a hug.

“You look great,” she
whispered into his neck.

“Thanks, so do you.”

“Tonight, I thought we
could do something a little decadent and satisfy that sweet tooth of yours.”

“This is sounding better
and better.”

They moved apart. Still
holding hands, she led him into the kitchen. She gestured to the counter that
held the fondue pot as they entered the room.

“It smells delicious.”

“That’s the Belgian
chocolate.”

“You are a goddess.”

Not quite, but you have
no idea how close you are to being right.

He bent down and nipped
her lips. His tongue swept across them, teasing her, before it plunged inside.
Even after all this time, he explored her as though it was still their first
kiss.

Colette moaned, wrapping
her arms around his neck as she pressed her body to his.

“I think you may be the
sweetest thing in this room,” he whispered against her lips. He then delivered
another drugging kiss. Their heads tilted and his fingers threaded through her
hair. Julian pulled the strands taut. The pleasurable pain made her gasp. Her
nipples stiffened and her core was as slick as a Slip ’N Slide. They parted for
air and she clutched at his shirt, taking shaky breaths as she recovered.

“I think we should get
back to the fondue while we still can,” he said, his voice husky as if he’d
just tossed back a shot of whiskey.

She smoothed down her
messy hair and gave a sheepish grin. “The champagne is in the fridge, beside
the strawberries, if you want to get them out.”

“Done.”

Colette watched him move
around her house with ease. The familiarity made her smile. It wasn’t difficult
to imagine this was their home together. She got out a large plate and two
glasses while he set the strawberries on the counter and popped the cork on the
champagne. He poured them both a healthy glass. She took a sip. The clear
liquid tickled her nose and throat as it slid down to rest in her belly. “Have
you ever done this before?” she asked.

“No.”

“Me either, so we’ll both
be in the same boat.” Colette set her glass on the counter. “Ready?”

He nodded and they both
picked up the long-stemmed metal forks.

“Ladies first,” Julian
prompted.

“So chivalrous.” She
placed the strawberry on the end of her fork and dipped it into the milk
chocolate, then pulled it up and allowed the chocolate to harden a bit before
she placed it on the plate.

“Nicely done, Col.”

Warmth spread through her
body at the sound of his pet name. She never tired of hearing it. “Thank you.”

A comfortable silence
fell as they focused on coating the plump, deep red berries in rich chocolate.
After they finished, the two grabbed their items and headed into the living
room. They sat down on the couch and she peered at him from beneath her lashes.
Could he tell her heart was racing and she was nervous as hell?

“What?” he asked, turning
to face her. “You’re staring.”

“I want to try something,
but you have to trust me. Close your eyes?”

“Okay.”

He complied and she rose
onto her knees. He frowned, but she smoothed it away with her fingers. “Relax.”
She massaged his temples, placing tiny kisses on his face as the tension left
his body.

He relaxed back into the
cushions of the couch.

She nipped at his neck
and he shivered. Moving away, she grabbed one of the strawberries. Colette
dipped the tip into her glass of champagne and brought it back to his lips,
tracing their outline with the red berry. “Open up and take a bite,
sweetheart.”

He opened his mouth and
bit down. Juices ran down his lips, onto his chin and she lapped them up with
her tongue.

“Mhmm.”

“Is it good?”

He nodded and swallowed.
“It’s delicious.”

“Hmm, I think I need a
taste for myself.” Colette bent down and slipped her tongue into his mouth.

They parried tongues,
each battling for dominance as she moved to sit on his lap, her legs spread
wide. The rough denim caressed her through her thin panties, providing some
friction, but nowhere near enough. This was the dance they continued to do,
always stalling out before she found completion with his thickness buried
inside her.
Not tonight.
“I want you.”

“Colette?”

“I want to see all of you
and you to see all of me.”

“It’s not the same.” He
shook his head.

“It is in every way that
matters. I want to experience that final level of intimacy. There’s nothing
about you that doesn’t turn me on.” She unknotted his tie and had the top three
buttons of his shirt undone before he could protest.

“Col…I—”

“Shhh, just feel.” She
eased her hand into his shirt and caressed his chest. The burns must have been
more intense here. His skin felt more warped, the scars more raised and
defined.

His shoulders were ramrod
straight and his fists were clenched as he stared off into the distance.

“Julian, look at me.”

He brought his gaze up to
clash with hers.

She wanted to weep at the
fear and embarrassment she saw. “Don’t take your eyes from mine.” She tweaked
his nipple and he gasped.

His eyes darkened with
passion.

“Do you like that?”

“Yes.”

Colette unbuttoned the
rest of his shirt. “Can we take this off?”

“Yes.” His voice sounded
tight and strained, but he hadn’t said no.

He sat up, helping her
shrug off the crisp white cotton and her pulse pounded an erratic rhythm in the
hollow of her throat.
This is going to happen!
She explored the expanse
of skin exposed, learning the texture and sensitive spots. “Close your eyes
again, and let go.” She kneaded the last dregs of stiffness from his shoulders.
“It’s me, Julian.”

He opened his mouth to
protest and she struck. Sucking his upper lip into her mouth, she proceeded to
kiss him into submission. His hands came up to tangle in her hair and they lost
themselves in the lovemaking of their mouths.

Desperate for air, she
pulled up and sucked oxygen into her lungs. “Bedroom?”

“Yes.”

His passion-roughened
voice went straight to her panties. Hot liquid soaked through the damp material
to run onto her upper thighs. She slid off his lap and he stood up behind her.
Colette grasped his hand and tugged him toward the stairs, ignoring his
laughter as it followed them through the hallways.

“Sit on the bed.” She lit
the candles she’d placed strategically around the room and came to stand in
front of him. “Are you ready?”

*
* * *

“Yes.” And he was.
Somehow, Col had managed to turn apprehension into anticipation. She didn’t
care about his raised scars or discolored skin. She just wanted him. A lump
formed in his throat, trapping all the things he wanted to say.
Fuck, I
don’t want to cry.

He’d have to show her
instead. From the start, she’d set the tone for their relationship, pursuing
and reassuring him until he found his footing. Tonight it was his turn to take
charge.

Illuminated by candles
and the moonlight that filtered through the window, she looked like some sort
of fairy come to life. Her hair spilled down her back in loose spirals and her
dark skin seemed to catch the light, giving off an almost ethereal glow that
highlighted her delicate features.

He stood and caressed her
face with the back of his hand. She leaned into his touch and his heart
swelled. He enjoyed being with Col, but he hadn’t wanted to love her. Love made
you vulnerable to the worst kind of heartache there is. He was thinking now—he
was already screwed.

Julian moved his hands
down to the top button of her dress and pulled the pearl buttons through the
slits, one by one. As she returned the favor to his pants, their gazes locked.
He pulled back to step out of his pants and she shrugged off her dress, making
his jaw drop.

The swell of her round
globes teased him from the sweetheart bodice of the black baby-doll she wore. A
nearly see-through G-string peeked out from underneath the flowing black
material. He fell to his knees and licked a path over her panties. Her heat
scorched him.

“Julian!”

Her nails dug into his
hair and he sucked her swollen nub into his mouth. The cloth was soaked with
her juices and the mesh material coupled with the salty sweet taste of her made
his dick throb. He trailed his hands trailed up her thighs, then eased one
inside her panties.

“You’re so hot and wet.” He
rubbed his thumb over her swollen button, once, twice and pushed a digit inside
her welcoming channel. “And tight.”

She gripped his hair as
he slid in and out of her tight entrance, continuing his gentle assault on her
clit as he increased the speed, working in tandem with the thrusts of her hips.
He added another finger. Her thighs quivered and her grip tightened. His scalp
tingled, but he knew she was on the verge. Hell, so was he.
Pre-cum
dampened his black boxers and his cock twitched in response to her moans.  “That’s
it, Colette. I want to feel you come all over my fingers.”

“God, Julian. I’m so
close.” Her head fell back.

He sucked her button into
his mouth, pushing her over. Her high-pitched squeal had him fighting back his
own orgasm. There was nothing that pleased him more than bringing this woman to
her peak. Her nectar ran down his fingers and onto his wrist. Julian released
her clit to lick up every drop. He supported her until her trembles subsided
and stood. He moved her to the bed and laid her down. “I think it’s time to
take this off,” he said, tugging the straps of her G-string.

“I could say the same for
you,” she whispered. “This is so not how I imagined this going.”

“Is that a good thing or
a bad thing?”

“Very good, Mr. Sorrow,
very good.”

He pulled the thin scrap
of material off her hips and down her legs, then flung it off the bed.

“Don’t forget to keep it
even.”

He smirked at her taunt,
rolled onto his back and shimmied out of his boxers. He took his rock-hard
length in his hand and gave it a few strokes.

“Uh-uh, no cheating,” she
said.

He growled playfully at
her taunts and rolled over to pin her body to the bed.

“I like this new side of
you,” she said.

“Me too.”

“I’d like it more if you
were inside of me.”

“I know better than to
keep my lady waiting.”

She opened her legs wide
and grasped him, guiding him home into her blistering heat.

“You’re so tight,” he
whispered. She gripped him like a glove and when she flexed her muscles, he had
to close his eyes and think of cold showers. He trembled as he pulled out and
pressed back in up to his balls. They wouldn’t go fast, not this time.

“Open your eyes, Julian.”

He forced his heavy lids
open. His heart pounded in his ears and he fell into her large brown eyes. The
world narrowed to the feel of her sheath, the nails digging into his back and
the gasps of pleasures that filled the air.