Solstice (6 page)

“I’m not sure,” I say. There are a million automatic excuses running through my mind.

“We’re perfect for each other. I knew it the day we met.” He points at me. “You and me…we’re the same. Misunderstood. We’re like soulmates.”

Soulmates
. The word hangs there in the hot air between us. I laugh at the thought, and Reese smiles in response. But I wonder if somewhere out there I do have a soulmate. Is it really Reese? Or could it be Shayne? Will I ever be able to find out with my mom controlling my every move?

“What do you have to lose?”

“My mom—” I start.

Reese makes a dismissive gesture with his hands. “Sneak out. Come on.” And when he says it, his eyes fill with an excitement that makes me think it might actually be possible. Like I could have a shred of adventure. With Reese.

I open my mouth, but I’m not sure what to say. Reese is still right next to me with our arms pressed together. I guess my body tenses up, because the next thing I know, he backs up and walks to the other side of the counter. I can almost see the gears turning in his mind.

“I never let being grounded get in the way,” he says.

I let out a breath now that the distance between us has grown. I think about Chloe—how she suggested double dating—her with Reese and me with Shayne. I try to bring Shayne to my mind, but it’s futile. All that my mind seems to be willing to focus on is Reese and the thought of disobeying my mom. It’s a kind of freedom that tempts me every time I hear about other kids going to parties and hooking up and staying out all night. “My mom doesn’t let me date.”

“Who cares? What time does your mom go to bed?”

“Nine o’clock,” I say before I can stop myself.

“Perfect. Friday night. Sneak out once she’s asleep.” Then he gives me a final look, but instead of conveying adventure, his eyes are peeling me apart layer by layer starting with my clothes. I shift under his gaze, but don’t turn away. And then he turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

It takes me a good five minutes to be able to think about anything else. Reese is gone, and all that’s left are dead leaves scattered around my feet. I play the conversation over again in my mind, thinking I’ve missed some vital part of it. But it’s all there. Reese wants me to hang out with him—alone. And without even really meaning to, I think I’ve agreed. Which just can’t be. Chloe wants to date him.

I rub my hand over my arm again, feeling each Greek letter of the tattoo underneath, until Reese’s presence is gone. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and rub it on my shirt, and I grab a broom and a dustpan and start cleaning up the mess.

W
hen my mom finally comes home, I start for the stairs. I want her take on the news conference from this afternoon. But I stop when I see her sniff the air and look around. Can she smell Reese? Just thinking about him draws the intoxicating scent back into my nostrils though I try to ignore it. She starts toward the counter, taking one slow step after another, eyes alert. Past where she walks, fresh dead leaves drop to the ground. Maybe it’s the news conference that’s got her upset. Or maybe it’s my tattoo. Or maybe she somehow knows a guy’s come over to visit.

After what seems like an eternity, she moves away from the counter and starts back to her work. I watch for a few minutes as she begins her routine, spraying leaves and packing in dirt. But she doesn’t say anything and doesn’t even call out to me. Maybe it’s not such a good time to ask her about the council meeting, so I tiptoe away. When she finally comes upstairs, she heads right for her room, shutting the door behind her. She doesn’t offer to comb my hair or even say good night. She’s never been this mad at me before. I’m sure she’ll tell me we’re moving in the morning. That I’ll be homeschooled until I graduate. That I’ll never see Chloe again. My eyes fill with tears.

I think about calling Chloe, but decide against it. I don’t want to tell her about Reese asking me out. Not just yet. I’ll tell her tomorrow in person. I get up and move to the window, looking out at the blackness of the sky. Even in the dark, the clouds are thick, and the promise of rain hangs in the air. Rain which is something we desperately need but causes flooding every time it comes because of the hard-packed ground.

Out back are greenhouses I spend hours reading and taking naps in. And our nearest neighbors are Randy Conner’s family a quarter of a mile away. But when it’s dark like this, the greenhouses and the neighbors fade into black, and it’s like we’re the only people in the world.

I lift the screen so it’s just me and the darkness, and I let the heat pour through me, inhaling the humidity. Wondering if another heat bubble will really come and suffocate the city.

And then I feel someone watching me.

I peer down into the darkness, but with the trees growing beyond control in our eternal summer, I can’t see anything. But I know I’m not wrong. Someone is out there.

My mind shifts to Shayne. He’d been pushed to the back of my mind when Reese was here earlier. But now, with the memory of Reese fading, Shayne begins to resurface. He’s a total mystery. I’ve spoken so little to him but have this burning desire to get to know him better. Like the red specks in his eyes hold secrets he wants to share with me. I want the eyes out in the darkness to be his. I want him to beckon me out in the darkness. I imagine he touches me, and I don’t stop him. I want to find someone I can be with forever, and I wonder if Shayne is the one. Or is it Reese? A shiver runs down me when I think about him, and I don’t try to force it away.

As quickly as it came, the presence vanishes, leaving me once again alone with the darkness of the night. I shake my head. Whoever was out there is gone. And I’m left with only my daydreams.

I head to my bed, but a slip of paper on the nightstand catches my eye. I pick it up, unfolding it, and then hold my breath.

I read the letter three times through until the paper is shaking so hard, I can’t see the words anymore. My father. He’s found us. He’s been searching for us since he broke out of prison, and now he finally knows where we are. He’s come into our house. Come into my room. He could come back at any time, even when I’m here. Dread punches me in the stomach as I think about it.

I fold the paper and prepare to head to my mom’s room and tell her, but I stop when my hand touches the doorknob. My mom isn’t talking to me. She’s upset about my tattoo. And if that upsets her, this letter from my father will push her over the edge. My pseudonormal life will end. Right here and now.

It frightens me way more than the letter from my terrorist father.

I tear the letter into tiny little pieces, wash it down my sink, and head to bed. I hope for sleep to take over, but my brain seems to have a different idea. I wish for dreams of mysterious guys, but my night is sleepless. Girls with empty eye sockets fill my mind. Heat bubbles smother the city. And when I try to imagine my father, he has no face.

The next day I walk into Social Sciences, but my heart sinks when I see Shayne’s not there. I head to my normal seat and sit down, forcing myself not to look at the vacant seat next to me. At least today, I’m on time; my mom hasn’t called me all day, which gives me a weird feeling of guilt mixed with independence.

I catch movement near the door out of my peripheral vision; it’s him. I stare straight ahead and pretend I haven’t noticed, which is about as easy as pretending I’m blind. My heart is pounding, but I look directly ahead.

Please let him sit next to me. It’s a silent prayer, and I’m not sure whom I’m even praying to, but whoever it is doesn’t listen. Shayne sits far to the left against the wall. My face burns, but I try to keep any sign of emotion off it. The last thing I want is him thinking I am looking for him, which I am; let’s face it. When I dare to glance over, he’s not even looking at me. Instead, he’s staring straight ahead with a look on his face like he wants to kill someone.

Mr. Kaiser starts the lecture by talking about the missiles. He’s been in contact with the members of the International GHC Committee who have conclusive proof that each time a missile is detonated, it strips a thin layer from the atmosphere. He tells us he’s written a letter to the city council and encourages us each to do the same. But given Councilman Rendon’s attitude, I doubt a letter will have much impact.

Mr. Kaiser then makes us come up with reasons why Earth is in a crisis state, but the sad fact is no one really knows. Sure, there are plenty of theories, but they’re only that. Theories. None are proven, and there are new ones every day. The fact is winter has stopped coming. Leaves never fall from trees. The earth is in a dying cycle of drought and flooding with sea levels rising around the world. I’ve heard summer used to be a good thing. But all I’ve ever seen it as is a death sentence for Earth.

It’s why my mom starts a greenhouse wherever we move. She says it’s her contribution to keeping the earth healthy. To keep the smaller species of plants from going extinct. To replenish them after the trees grew big and blocked their water and sun. To help preserve the big trees for when they eventually die out, too. My mom really does care about the earth. Sometimes, she talks like eternal summer is something the world should embrace, but at the same time, she does whatever she can to help things return to normal. A normal that I’ve never known, since it’s been summer my whole life.

I manage to zone out for the rest of lecture, and blessedly, Mr. Kaiser doesn’t call on me. When class ends, I look toward Shayne, hoping he’ll be looking at me, but he’s already gone. He must have been the first one out of the classroom.

“Nice tattoo.”

I look up and see it’s Randy Conner. He’s standing there with his girlfriend, Hannah Reed, who’s got one hand wrapped around his arm and the other crossed over her stomach.

“Don’t tell me your mom really let you get one,” Hannah says.

“Not quite.” Randy and Hannah don’t normally talk to me; I never knew getting a tattoo would get me attention from the in crowd.

“No way,” Randy says. “You actually went behind her back?” Randy lives next door to the Botanical Haven. He of all people knows how overprotective my mom is. Four years ago, when we first moved in, he tried to come over and talk to me. My mom ended that before it started, threatening to peel the skin from his back if he so much as set foot near the brick fence. Needless to say, Randy never again came by to talk to me. And he told the entire school my mom was a psychopathic lunatic which, whether it was true or not, wasn’t cool at all. It certainly didn’t make starting at a public school very easy.

I nod, loving how his words reaffirm my rebellion. I did go behind her back.

“And you got away with it?” Hannah turns to Randy. “I want to get one.”

“Your mom would kill you,” he says.

Am I really not the only one in the world whose mom is overprotective?

“There wasn’t much she could do once I got it,” I say, and I realize the power of a tattoo. Unless I get cosmetic removal, it’s there to stay.

“Awesome,” Randy says. “But you’re not getting one now,” he adds to Hannah, and they move on out of the room.

I pick up my backpack and head for the door.

“Yeah, nice tattoo.”

Shayne is there outside the classroom. Waiting for me. I almost drop my backpack I’m so shocked by the sound of his voice. The way he says
nice
sounds like it holds a thousand different meanings, all of which I like. But the best part is he’s saying it to me.

“Thanks.” I attempt to think of something else to say, but nothing comes to mind.

“I waited for you,” he says.

He waited for me. I record the words in my mind so I can play them over and over later. “I see that.”

His smile makes me want to just stand there staring at him, but then he gestures with his head down the hallway. “Can I walk you to class?”

“I have Study Hall,” I say before I can think about how irrelevant that is.

Shayne reaches out and takes my backpack off my shoulder. “Okay, can I walk you there?”

“Sure.” I work to keep my voice calm, like I’m not over-the-moon that I’m being walked to class by the most gorgeous guy in the world. We turn the corner, and at least seven other girls stare our way. I pretend I don’t notice though I can’t believe he’s actually picked me to walk with. I keep wanting to glance over at him to make sure he doesn’t disappear, but manage to control myself.