Society Girls: Waverly (15 page)

W
averly

When I heard Knox say that he wouldn’t let me make excuses for not telling him and Coh about the baby, I knew it was over for us. I know I did the right thing, and given the chance, I’d do it again. I had to save him, and keep that baby safe, until we could grab Barb. She was too wild of a card, and so was Martha. There was no telling what they’d have done if they felt cornered. I did the right thing, and I walked away thinking that would be enough to help me survive. It wasn’t.

Two weeks. That’s how long it’s been. 14 days of no talking, kissing, touching, or making love. 337 hours since I laid eyes on him. I could go into the minutes and seconds, but I’m trying to hold onto some of my sanity. Let’s just say I’m a mess right now. A high-functioning mess, but a mess just the same.

“Waverly,” Liz’s voice comes over the intercom, “there’s a delivery for you.”

“Oh. I’ll be right out.”

Since I don’t have to take weapons or some of the other classes the other Society recruits do. I’m back in my old job between the classes I need. When Reina suggested it, I jumped at the chance. I love my job, and the staff we have down here. Being able to continue it while I train is perfect for me. Plus, I get to have extra time with Ken, and that makes it even better.

Matisse talked to her like she promised, and Reina is looking into adjusting the training for the recruits. She always told everyone there was time limit for passing, but she realizes they’ve still felt a ton of pressure. She can’t cut out any training, but I think she’ll spread things out a little more.

I walk out to the front desk of the medical wing, and stop short. There’s a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a basket filled with my favorite candies from South Africa, and a box tied up with a bow. Liz is smiling, and Ken is scowling, so I know they aren’t from him.

“You know they’re from Knox.”

Yeah, I know. Who else would pick exotic flowers instead of roses? Or know what candies Ken used to sneak me when we were younger? Well, Ken would know, but I’ve already established that he didn’t send me these things.

I reach for the box, noticing the blue envelope on top for the first time. My heart races a little as I pick it up. I recognize Knox’s handwriting, so any doubt I might’ve had that this wasn’t personal is gone now.

“Can you grab the flowers for me, Ken?”

“I don’t like this.”

“Since they’re not for you, you don’t have to,” Liz tells him. She’s the perfect head nurse for us, not taking any shit from anyone down here, or on the floors above us.

He grumbles some, but grabs the flowers as asked. I pick up the basket and the box, leading him to my office. “Just put them there,” I tell him, motioning to an empty spot on my desk.

“He doesn’t get to do this after her hurt you.”

“That’s for me to decide.”

“He
hurt
you.”

“And you hurt Matisse, yet she forgave you.”

“That’s different.”

“How? She thought you weren’t accepting her. Maybe not for her weight, but you and Knox were very similar in your attacks.”

“Dammit! I know you’re right. I don’t like it, and I don’t want to sympathize with him, but I kind of do.”

“I wanted the two of you to be friends.”

“I have a feeling we will be.”

“Good. Now, please leave while I open my letter.”

“I want to know what’s in there.”

“That’s nice.”

“Waverly.”

“Kenyi.”

“This is one of those times I need to let you fly, isn’t it?”

“Yes. I love you, but I have to stand on my own. Decide on my own.”

“I love you, too. I’m going to come back, and check on you later.”

“Okay.”

He walks out, and I drop into my chair. I look between the letter and the box, trying to decide what to open first. The box intrigues me because it’s heavier than it looks, but I also want to know what he wrote. After running my hands over both, I choose the box.

Once I’ve untied the bow, I run my hands over it one more time, before I lift the lid. If I was standing I’d fall over, and as it is, I have to grip the desk for support as I see what Knox sent me. His Olympic medals. He sent me
all
of his Olympic medals.

This is the first time I’ve seen them, and I reach out to touch the Gold, Silver, and Bronze disks. The ribbons attached to them are different because he won them in two different Olympic Games. I lift all seven, and place them across my desk, in awe of what the man I love accomplished. I know he’ll add to the collection soon, but I also know I can’t keep these. They belong with him.

Picking up the envelope, I hold it to my heart for a moment before opening it. There are two sheets of paper with writing on both sides, and I close my eyes, trying to prepare myself for whatever I’m going to read. The gifts he sent me already have me on the verge of tears, and this letter has the potential to set them free. Giving myself a mental shake for some courage, I open my eyes and start to read.

Wave,

I can’t believe it’s been this long. I reach for you every morning when I wake up, and my arms feel empty when I finally fall asleep at night without you next to me. My body misses you, and so does my heart, mind, and soul. Living without you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I don’t think I can survive it much longer.

I know I led us to this place, with my words. I told you I’d do my best to put your shattered heart back together, and that’s what I’m trying to do. I know I can’t have it until it’s whole again, and there’s nothing I want more than the honor of owning at least a piece of it.

You can’t Google how to repair a heart, so I’m flying a little blind here. I have duct tape, glue, and even stitches on the desk in front of me, but I know they won’t work. I can only do this job—the most important one I’ve ever tried to do—with love, thoughtfulness, acceptance, honesty, trust, and time. I hope it doesn’t take a lot of time, but I’m prepared to have to work hard, and wait. I’ll wait my whole life if you need me to, although I’m hoping I can convince you to take me back before we’re doing Senior Water Aerobics.

The first thing I need to do is tell you something about my past, something the public and the press never knew. No one outside my family except Cohen knows. I never told Gwen, even though we were together for years, because I think on some level I didn’t trust her. I trust you, but I didn’t tell you before now because, compared to what you went through, my story isn’t really bad at all. I should’ve told you when we were cuddling in the cage, but I didn’t, and I’m sorry I have to write the words to you instead of saying them, but this is something that can’t wait. So, here you go. The real story of the little boy who found a family at the public pool.

I was sold too, Wave. Not to a monster like you were, but to a couple who wanted me. Gretchen donated a shit-ton of money to the YMCA I swam at—still does in fact. She’s always been a hands-on giver, so she was there all the time, and so was I. She saw something in me, and started talking to me every day. When she figured out I wasn’t eating much, she started bringing me food. She was the first real friend I ever had, and I would’ve loved her even if she didn’t feed me.

About a month after I met her, she started bringing Joe with her. We would sit and eat like we were a family, although I didn’t realize it right away. I would go “home” to a woman who used all the money she got to buy drugs for herself. There was never any money for food unless one of the men who bought her for an hour left something behind. There was also no electricity or water most months. The systems in place to help children are overloaded because there are so many kids who are in much worse situations than I was, so no one noticed I didn’t go to school, or they didn’t have the time to find me if they did.

One day, Gretchen asked me when my birthday was, and I told her I didn’t know. She burst into tears, and I ran away, thinking I’d done something wrong. I didn’t think I’d see her again, but then she showed up at our apartment with Joe later that night. My mother took one look at their nice clothes, and decided she’d won the lottery. When they told her they wanted to adopt me, she said she’d only agree if they gave her a million dollars. Joe didn’t even bat an eye when he agreed.

My parents are smart, so they didn’t give her all the money at once. They caught up all of her bills, pay her rent, and arranged for food to be sent to her every week. She’s been through rehab more times than I can count, but the last time I saw her, she was clean. That was almost four years ago, after I won my second set of medals. She wanted more money to keep quiet about things, and when I found out, I went to her and convinced her it would hurt her more than me for everything to come out.

It was the truth, because she’d already hurt me so badly that I didn’t even realize I was broken. My parents are the best anyone could have, and everyone in the family has accepted me as their own. I’ve had a great life, but I wasn’t really living, because I’ve been scared.

Scared that it was all going to go away. That if I couldn’t stay on top of swimming, no one would care about me anymore. I know that’s not true. Gretchen and Joe would never leave me, and neither would Cohen. As far as everyone else, I didn’t expect them to stay. Gwen proved me right when she cheated, making me feel like I wasn’t good enough to love forever. I was devastated, but now I realize it was more about her betraying me, and not about me loving her. I did love her, but not the way I love you.

You are my true love, my soul mate, my North Star. Anything and everything they’ve written about in songs and books. Which is why you scared me more than anyone else ever has in my life. I didn’t tell you, but that last week in Africa, my swimming times kept going up. I couldn’t clear my mind when I was in the water like I used to, because my thoughts were consumed with you. When we came back, my times were still bad that first day I practiced with my regular team.

I’m ashamed to say it, but that’s why I lashed out at you, saying the things I knew would cut you the deepest. I was losing what was always most important to me, the thing that had saved me, and I blamed you. I thought if I pushed you away, I could get back to where I needed to be, and I did. Once I made sure you couldn’t forgive me, my times came back in line. My swimming was almost perfect, but outside of the pool, I wasn’t living.

Of course it was my mom who made me see what the problem was. When I was thinking of you in the pool, it wasn’t because I couldn’t wait to see you like I thought it was; it was because I was afraid you’d be gone when I went to see you. I expected you to be gone, and it was breaking my heart without me even realizing it.

That night at the party, I was going to tell you I wanted to stop being scared, and trust you to stay. When everything came out about Cohen, Barb, and Martha, for a moment I was angry at you. That moment passed, and I was so grateful to you for saving not only me, but also that little boy—Cohen named him Shane if you didn’t know—and I went looking for you. My worst fear was realized when you were gone, but this time I knew it was my fault. I wasn’t a blameless little boy, but a man who hurt the woman he loved so badly that she left him.

I wanted to find you right away, and tell you all of that. I wanted to beg you to take me back, but I couldn’t. Cohen needed me, and I needed to make plans for my future, and figure out the right words to say to you. I’ve re-written this over a hundred times trying to get it right, and I think this is the closest I can get. Now, I just need to explain your gifts, and what happens next (if you want it).

The flowers looked close to the ones you pointed out liking when we were driving home one day in Cape Town. The candy are the favorites you told me about, and I hope you eat them all. If there’s one thing I can promise you, it’s that I’ll feed you whatever you want, whenever you want, forever.

The medals are because you are more important than swimming to me. No one else has ever come close to my love for the water, but my love for you easily surpasses it. Medals don’t mean anything to me if I don’t have you as well. The ones in the box are the closest physical things I can give you to show you I’m giving you my heart. It’s just as shattered as yours, but if you take it back, it will be whole again.

Lastly, I need to tell you I’ve been working on something with Reina, and we’re going to debut it at the Corrigan & Co. Foundation party tomorrow night. She said you’ll be there, and I hope you’ll save me at least one dance.

I love you,

Knox

I just sit there with tears running down my cheeks. I don’t know if it’s minutes or hours when I finally calm down enough to put in a call to Stella.

“Hey, Wave, I’m guessing you want to know what I have for you to wear tomorrow.”

“I would ask you how you knew I would call, but I’m guessing he arranged this, too.”

“If you mean Knox, then yes, he called and asked me to find you something to show off how hot and sexy you are. He said he trusted me with color, style, and fabric, and he wanted to be surprised, but he also wants to pay for it. I have a few options if you want to come on up.”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes. Thanks, Stell.”

“It’s honestly my pleasure. See you soon.”

I keep my phone in my hand, but this time I use it to text Knox. I’m too emotional to talk to him right now, but I need to let him know I’m giving him a chance. I’m actually giving him all of me, but I’d rather see him face to face to let him know that.

I’ll save you a dance tomorrow night.

Thank God.

I smile, and then send him that emoticon before heading for the elevator. I was so scared we’d lost each other, but now it looks like we found each other again. I know we’re probably going to have more back and forth, and rough times. We’ve both been devastated by the people who were supposed to care for us, but we can handle it, and be there for each other. He’s my everything, too, and I’m going to hold onto him as hard as I know he’ll hold onto me.