Sleep Peacefully (4 page)

I
smile as I remember every Saturday morning, when instead of accompanying me in
dance lessons held at our old school, Jess and Dad would drive to the coast.
They would spend the full day there, walking along the cliffs at Milton Point
and taking in the sights of the bustling shoreline below. They used to sit for
ages, watching the ships gather in a line on the horizon as they waited
patiently for the tide to rise. I shudder at the image of the place, which is
now so bittersweet in my mind.

My
head comes back into the room as my mum returns, carrying enough sandwiches,
freshly cooked pastries and cakes to easily feed a family of twelve. I shake my
head at her, and she shrugs her shoulders as Josh zooms past us, heading
straight for the silver platter of assorted sandwiches. He chooses one for
himself and another for Barny, before quickly returning to sit on the other
side of the room with his new best friend.

We
finish lunch, and Mum brings me a steaming cup of tea. We sit together, chatting
casually. Josh plays happily outside the window on the porch below, with Barny
following his every move. I tell Mum all about the interview on Monday and she
laughs quietly, knowing that the coffee situation was such a ‘Nat’ type thing
to do. I have always been a bit clumsy, mainly because I’m never one hundred
percent focused on the task at hand. My mind is always on other things.

We
talk about Ryan and the night ahead, making plans. Mum tells me that she is
staying with Ryan and Lola at their apartment tonight rather than travelling
all the way back home from the city. I agree that it’s a good idea. I hate
thinking of her alone.

*

The
sun is setting over the lake as I get up to leave. Calling for Josh, we say our
goodbyes and head towards the car. There is a chill in the air, so I turn the
heat on full as I start the ignition. Summer is now becoming nothing more than
a distant memory as autumn sets in fast. I scrunch my nose, thinking of soon
having to dig out winter coats and boots from the back of the cupboards at
home, as I surrender to its advances.

We
wave goodbye to Mum as she disappears back into the lake house, and I turn the
corner back towards the tree-lined avenue. Something catches my eye as we pass.
I slow down to pull over as I recognise who the figure is waving to me from the
pavement.

“Hi
Matt,” I say, as I open the door and cross around the back of the car towards
his open arms.

“Natalie,
hi, how’s things?” he asks, putting an arm around my waist and lightly kissing
me on the cheek. Matt is the only person that insists on calling me by my full
name; it’s a habit he adopted through copying my father over the years. We hug
briefly and he waves at Josh through the window where he sits patiently in the
back of the car, before taking a step back and shoving his hands deep into the
pockets of his jeans.

He
has put on a little weight since the last time I saw him; something he could
easily afford to do and looks healthier for it. His piercing deep grey eyes,
which had always been so full of energy and life, now seem empty. The dark
circles under them suggest to me that he is still suffering from his wife’s
death, and that the restless nights have still not entirely left him, either.
His dark hair has been cut shorter, and it looks like he has ditched the
glasses that he has worn since he was fourteen, replaced by contacts. The
stubble on his face looks coarse and thick. He has completely lost the
pretty-boy, clean shaven, slightly geeky look he once had, and now looks more
rugged and manlier. Although it’s a hell of a transformation, it suits him.

Matt
is a relatively shy, quiet guy, a characteristic that hasn’t changed, nor will
it ever, I presume. Even as a kid, it was always Jess who took the lead while
he stood back in the distance, happy for her to take control. He remains
reserved to this day. It’s a quality I have always admired in him.

“How
have you been?” I ask brightly, taking a closer look at his appearance. “You
look good.”

“I’m
doing great, actually,” he says, nodding down at the ground. “I start a new job
in a couple of weeks. It’s the one I wanted,” he adds enthusiastically.

“Oh,
that's great! Well done, Matt!”

I’m
proud of him for trying to move on with his life. It would be so easy just to
give up and say ‘sod it’ to the world. He loved Jess with all of his heart, so
her death had hit him hard. He had even left his old job at the local high
school due to suffering from depression.

It’s
good to see him getting on with his life, picking himself up and pursuing the
career in teaching that he had put so much work into back at university. I know
it’s what Jess would have wanted.

We
stand on the pavement under the trees outside of his parent’s house, talking
for a while. I’m not surprised to see him today as I know that he visits his parents
every Saturday, now that he is on his own. I feel a stab of guilt at the fact I
haven’t really had a lot of contact with him since the funeral. The few times
that I have seen him, it’s been when I was visiting Mum and accidently bumped
into him, like I have today.

Our
brief conversation ends and I say goodbye to Matt, telling him to look after
himself, and wish him luck in his new job. As I climb back into the car and
start our journey home, my phone rings. I answer it quickly, not recognising
the number showing on the screen in front of me.
God, I’m very popular today
.

A
loud and forceful voice booms through the car speakers. The sound is so
powerful that I rush to turn the volume down. I know instantly who it is.

“Sorry
to call you at this time on a Saturday,” says Richard Wallis. “But I wanted to
call you personally with the news.”

“Richard...
hi,” I stammer, not able to hide the surprised tone now etched in my voice. I
can't help it as a smile starts to curl at the corners of my lips. I settle
back into my seat and begin to listen to what he has to say, still a little
taken aback.

Apparently,
even though I had spilt hot coffee all over him and was clearly nervous,
Richard had liked the way that I managed to compose myself at the interview. He
thinks that my experience and skills match what he is looking for to
perfection. His secretary called my last workplace, where my old boss Stephanie
gave me a glowing reference, leading to his decision to offer me the position.
My contract will only be temporary, on a part-time basis, and I will work
alongside his other PA (I assume this is the beautiful Barbie doll I met on the
day of the interview.) The hours are ideal. On the days I work, I will be home
in time to pick up Josh from school. I will be doing some training over the
next few weeks, then the role will officially start in January.

We
finish talking, and I thank Richard for taking a chance on me. He tells me
there was no chance to be taken, and he is looking forward to me being on
board. We say goodbye and Josh can’t stand being left out, shouting “Bye, Bye
Richard!” at the top of his voice from behind me.

Richards
laughs, a profound and hearty laugh, before the line goes silent. I look out
the windscreen towards the image of the countryside, now creeping into view.
Home isn’t far away. For the first time in a very long time I actually feel
that my life is taking a turn for the better.

Seven
years ago...

I
pace back and forth outside the airport entrance and glance at my watch for
what must be the hundredth time in the past half hour. As usual, she’s late,
and now we’re going to be cutting it fine to make this flight to London. I tap
my foot against the pavement, feeling my anxiety levels rise considerably. I
knew we should have travelled to the airport together, but Lola had insisted on
meeting me here because she wanted to go to say goodbye to her family first,
who live out of town. If we miss this flight, then we are going to
automatically miss our connecting flight in Hong Kong, and then we’re screwed.

I’m
now officially in full panic mode. Matt is standing only a couple of feet away
from me and can easily see my flustered state. He looks slightly amused by it,
which makes me mad and only adds to my frustration. We have always been like
chalk and cheese in this respect. He is so laid back he is practically
horizontal, to the point that it infuriates me, especially at times like these.

Matt
moves next to me and hits me playfully on the shoulder, sending me a little
off-balance and causing me to grin. I’m glad he’s here to see me off; he’s
helping to keep me calm, even if it’s in an annoying way. I know fine well that
if Matt wasn’t here, I may have had a nervous breakdown by now. I’d said
goodbye to my family back at home. I knew if they had come to the airport to
see me off I would have been reduced to a babbling mess, and so would they.

“Don’t
worry Jess, what's the worst that can happen if she doesn’t show up?” Matt
asks, in a serious tone, his face straight. “I’ll just have to come travelling
with you instead of Lola.” He smiles at me with his dark eyes twinkling, as if
he’s thinking something he doesn’t want me to know. I look up at him, his tall
frame overpowering my own.

“Yeah,
I bet you’d love that! The chance to ogle over me in a bikini every day,” I
say, hitting him back and laughing. He closes his eyes and wolf whistles.

I’m
going to miss Matt so much. He’s my best friend. Although Lola and I are really
close, it’s Matt I always go to with my worries, and for a shoulder to cry on.
He’s always been there for me for as long as I can remember, ever since we were
little kids. He’s such a huge part of my life. Two years away from him seems
like such a long time, but he couldn’t have come with us. I’d graduated a
couple of months ago, but he’s studying to become a secondary school teacher so
needs to stay on an extra year at university before he is fully qualified.

“Here
she comes,” says Matt, breaking my train of thought, as he points to the taxi
drop off station situated at the opposite end of the airport car park. I look
up to see Lola making her way towards us from a parked taxi. She looks like a
mad woman; running at full speed, arms flying all over the place while trying
to juggle a huge rucksack which is almost as big as she is. She drops it on the
ground three times before she eventually reaches us.

Matt,
being the gentleman he is, rushes to help her. He takes the bags off her arms
and drops them to the floor. They make a dull thud as they topple onto their
sides. Lola takes a moment to inspect her appearance, shaking her head as she
straightens her hair and adjusts her cardigan, which already looks pristine.

“Christ
almighty Lola! We are only going for a couple of years. You didn’t tell me we
were emigrating, never to return,” I say. I take a closer look at the amount of
luggage she is carrying and know she will regret it when she has to pay excess
baggage fees due to its weight. Although, I know that in her mind, this isn’t
even something she would have considered.

She
ignores my sarcastic comment. “Sorry I’m late,” she announces, sounding angry.
“Bloody forgot my passport didn’t I? Had to travel all the way back home to get
it!”

I
shake my head and tut at her. Matt smirks and gives me a cheeky sideways
glance. Lola and I have been planning this trip for almost six months, but the
fact that she could forget her passport on the actual day that we are leaving
doesn’t surprise me one bit.

“Okay,
come on.” I grab her arm roughly and propel her in the direction of the
check-in desk as Matt puts our luggage onto a trolley. I reach to take it off
him, and my hand brushes his softly. I start to move it away, but before I have
the chance he grabs it, spinning me around as if we are dancing and pulls me
towards him, gripping me in a tight hug. I stand on my tiptoes and bury my head
into his shoulder, inhaling the familiar smell of fresh soap and shaving cream
that I have grown so used to.

“Look
after yourself, kiddo,” he says as he releases me. He pushes his glasses
further up the bridge of his nose, then looks to the ground as I step closer to
the check-in desk. Although I'm a few months older than Matt, he’s always
called me kiddo. It’s a pet name I’ve grown accustomed to over the years.

“You
too, Matt,” I say. Tears prickle my eyes as he gives Lola a quick hug and turns
to make his way to the exit. As he reaches it, he turns once more to look at
me. I can see, even though he is now far in the distance, that he appears
upset. I wave again as he heads for the exit. He turns away, then glances back
to me, pausing briefly. He looks as though he’s going to turn around and head
back, maybe to tell me something, but instead he shakes his head slightly
before putting his hands into his pockets and heading outside.

We
check in, throwing our bags on the scales and giving our travel documents to
the attendant working at the check-in desk. Luckily, we are told that the bags
are within the weight limit and even better, that we’re still in time to make
the flight.

“Okay,”
I say to Lola as I hand her passport and boarding card back to her as if she
were a careless child. I put my own securely into my handbag, then we head
towards the escalator leading to departures. “Australia, here we come.”