Sinners & Saints (Sinners & Saints #1) (28 page)

           
“We-we’re
not… going… too far?” Her objection comes out like a stammering question.

“Mhmmm,” I challenge her and taste her
neck. She grips the back of my shirt. I grind my hips and never in my life has
dry humping ever appealed to me, but shit watching her come almost made me so
this shouldn’t be any less pleasing. She gasps and moans. She’s fucking
vibrating.

“Wait, I’m vibrating,” she gasps. “It’s
my phone.”

“Leave it,” I whisper against her lips.

“No… No, saved by the phone.” She pushes
me off of her. I let out a frustrating groan. I don’t do that. I don’t whine.
This is so unbecoming of me. She sits up, pulling her cell out of her front
pocket of her skirt. That’s stupid that it’s a pocket on a skirt. She looks at
me smiling. “You have to earn valuable treasure, Hugo,” she mocks.

“I’m pretty sure I was close to earning
it,” I say back as she answers her phone.

“Hello.” She pauses for a moment.
“What?” I hear a sob. Slowly I sit up. “When?... Mum, when?... Mum, wait?”
What’s wrong? Why is she crying?
My
heart is starting to ache. What is that? I anxiously wait for her to finish the
phone call. She finally does.

“My dad had a heart attack,” she
quietly informs me.

I rub my chest, not feeling right. I
stretch my hand to her back, wanting to place it on her, wanting to… comfort
her.

I’m not equipped to comfort people. I’m
an asshole, so I do what an asshole does. I stand up and go fetch someone else
to comfort Juliet.

19

JULIET

My dad had a heart attack two nights
ago and I should be home. I am going home. My mum said to give it until the end
of the week to see if there is any change. My dad is a proud man; he does not
like people to see him weak. Knowing my mum, she thought of what my dad might
say if he let her drag me all the way back to England for that. It may not make
sense to most people, but I always want to do what my dad wishes. I swear if he
dies I’ll never forgive him.

I wasn’t surprised how Hugo reacted
when I told him the news. He made me come and then he was gone. Typical
murderer of heart. My fault though. I lost the game. I still can’t believe I
didn’t know fucking Dr. Seuss.

I enjoyed it though. I enjoyed him
watching me and I think he did too and I think that’s what freaked him out the
most. But I don’t care to challenge it. My dad is all I can focus on now. I
have to pray that he will be alright. If I… I can’t lose my dad. I’ve been
staying to myself. Sitting in my room, staring at the wall, calling my mum
every five minutes. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. Only talk to myself like I’m
doing now in my head. I think about my dad, but then I look for a distraction
and think about Hugo, but Hugo hurts too and I’ll be damned if I waste my time
thinking about him, hurting over him. All my hurt can only be for the one man
in my life who has never let me down.

SCARLETT

“Chad has a gift,” I say, smiling at
the photos of Hugo and Kelly. “So do you.”

           
I
realize he isn’t saying anything, let alone staring at the pictures on his lap.
He’s just staring off moping.

           
“Hey,”
I snap my fingers and finally looks at me. “What’s up with you?”

           
His
brow creases. “Juliet’s dad had a heart attack.”

           
“Okay,”
I say slowly. “So is that your problem too?”

           
He
looks at me for the first time like he disapproves of my attitude. What the
fuck is this shit?

           
I
throw the pictures on the table and lock eyes with his.

           
“Do
you feel bad for her?”

           
“We
don’t have marauders, Scarlett, but it is okay to have some type of sympathy at
least for the sick and dead.”

           
“The
dead are dead. The sick are sick. Part of life.”

           
“And
what will you think when you are sick? When you are dead?”

           
“The
same thing. I will not fear death because when it comes, it will be when I am
old and less useful,” I say with ease.

           
“What
makes you think you won’t die young?”

           
“I
believe God prolongs certain deaths. He waits for some of us to feel the guilt.
To feel the remorse of our sins. To truly suffer knowing all the damage we have
caused. With me, he will be waiting until there is nothing left of me. Even
then I doubt it.”

           
Hugo
stares at me as if he is now realizing who I am.

           
“Don’t
break my heart Hugo,” I warn him and he becomes confused. “You do by staring at
me with shame.”

           
He
sighs, his eyes becoming apologetic. “It… it is not shame.” He clears his
throat. “What’s going on with um… Keegan?”

           
I
smile victoriously. “His father is giving him some time off. His begging to not
go with the NeoLock deal is starting to reunite him with his panic attacks. His
wife and children are worried as he talks about the bad things he used to do.”

           
“How
do you do that? With one reminder of someone’s sin, you… halt the entire
universe.”

           
“I
don’t know. I’m either that powerful or people are that weak.”

           
“It’s
fear,” he mumbles. “It’s always fear.”

           
“Okay,
you’re starting to freak me out. Why don’t you go have some fun or something?”
I wave my hand.

           
“Just
send these to Kelly’s father and my father,” he stands up.

           
“I
thought we were planning on sending it to everyone, including the Times?”

           
“No,”
his tone is harsh.

           
“Well
I don’t agree,” I object and my attitude is rising.

           
“Scarlett.”
He places his hands on both the arm rests of the chair. His eyes lock on mine;
his jaw tight and I see something in his eyes. A shift. Emotions… they’re
practically begging to pour out. “No one else sees these. Never have I ever
disagreed with you. I have always gone your way. Now we go my way. My way is
that Harper and My father only see these. That is enough. Now if you decide to
go behind my back, I will ruin this deal for you.”

           
“This
is a turn on…” I admit.

           
“Good,”
he backs away and leaves.

           
My
smile goes away. “But a problem,” I say to myself.

HUGO

My head doesn’t usually drown itself
with confliction. It’s always at ease. So many things. So many people just run
through it now. It all leads back to the two women who have made some sort of
impact on my life. It used to be just one, but now it’s two. I should have said
something to Juliet when she told me her father had a heart attack. Maybe I
still should? Oh for fucks sake, stop being a pussy, Hugo. You don’t need to do
shit. You don’t want to. Matter of fact, you should text Scarlett right now and
tell her to broadcast the photos on every social media and newspaper in New
York. I can’t do that to Kelly. Oh my God. What the hell?!
 
Can’t do that to Kelly? Like this is any
better, but then if I do too much, Juliet will be disappointed in me.

           
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

           
“You
need to talk to Juliet.” Jordana and Poppy basically ambush me once I get in
the house.

           
“What?”
I don’t have time for this; my head’s already fucking with me.

           
“She
could use some distraction and your usual insulting banter should do the
trick.”

           
I
stare at her amused, playing it off well. “Don’t tell me you, of all people,
Jordana actually feel for the English Rose.”

           
She
laughs harshly. “I never pretend to not have a heart, Hugo. Just like you never
pretend on how much of a dick you really are. You and I have always had a bond.
I call it friendship, you call it toleration, but either way
—
Juliet, you tolerate her way more than
the rest of us. So, do your conscience a favor and talk to the damn girl.
Besides, August is sad for her now. He wants to know why she is crying. She’s
his friend. She’s my friend.” She rolls her eyes. “Ugh, she’s really my friend.
So what? I have feelings. Fucking sue me. But talk to her.”

           
“Fucker,”
Poppy snidely adds, smiling.

           
They
both leave out the front door.

           
“Everybody’s
pretty much pissed at you, huh?” Cody is standing in the hallway.

           
“What
else is new?”

           
I
walk past him and he follows. “Well, what’s new is me.”

           
“What?”

           
“You
know when Ms. Eleanor told us the story about her and her long lost love? It
inspired me. And she’s right, ya know? As crazy as she is, she is right. Fear
is my own enemy. My worst.”

           
I
stop at the stairs and face him. “So basically you’re admitting you’re a
pussy?”

           
He
opens his mouth then closes it. “Fine, if that’s what it takes for you to help
me, then fine.”

           
I
cross my arms waiting. He rolls his eyes and pouts. “I am a pussy.”

           
“Alright,
then,” I smirk. “Tomorrow.”

           
“Tomorrow?
Really? Alright I’m ready! Thanks!”

           
I
don’t know how to approach this in any way other than with liquor. I look for
her. She isn’t in her room. Not in the lounge room. Not in the living room,
kitchen, any other rooms, until I find her on the balcony on the second floor.
I rarely come out here. I stand next to her and look at her side view. She
seems in a daze. Sad, of course, numb.
 
I place the glass of Jameson, something I noticed she likes, and slide
it on the rail over to her. Her eyes shift down to it. She doesn’t say
anything. She just picks up the glass and starts to drink.

           
“I
never thought it was possible for you to stay this quiet.” I regret it once the
words leave my mouth. She doesn’t make a face or anything. Still staring off. I
look down to see the streets of 5
^th
Avenue. I get nervous because I
hate balconies.

           
“I
hate balconies.” I say it out loud without thinking again. “I suppose it is
clear as to why.” I look at her again then stare across the street to the other
building that is grey and made of glass. Through that glass I see my mother’s
face.
 

           
“My
mother smiled,” I start off and I keep going before I stop myself. “She smiled
at me just before she jumped.”

           
A
shiver runs through my spine as I go back to that day. Her white gown, her
jewelry, her smile. I let out a frustrated groan and just continue talking.

           
“She
always put on a smile for people. She was good at smiles. She was a connoisseur
at masking the reality of her situations and her situation was that her whole
life she had done what was expected of her. Like most. She went to the school
her parents wanted her to, befriended the friends that matched her family’s
income, and married the man they picked out for her before she was even old
enough to walk. Her whole life was written for her and… it made her sick. One
time I asked her if she liked my uh… model airplane I had made. She said that
she was sorry because she couldn’t see it. She couldn’t see me. All she could
see were blue walls. Why blue, I don’t know, but she saw blue walls closing in
on her. She said she could always see them, but they never closed in on her…
not until a few months before she killed herself. My mother was the epitome of
a beautiful tragedy, from the day she was born to her death. Everything she did
was beautiful and graceful. When she fell from the balcony, she flew. She flew
away. I think I loathe her not only for what she did but also for leaving me
with the same… same fragment of vision. It was always me. Me. I was the
designated one. I was meant to be the perfect child. Gabriel wasn’t that great
in school. He could get a 2.7 GPA average and that wasn’t enough. Me, school
was never hard. I was more disciplined than Gabriel. Before he got here he was
a bit of a rebel. Always in trouble at school for misbehaving, but me
—
I did what I was told. I was a good
boy. August was August so my father wanted me to take over his reign one day. I
started seeing those blue walls my mother spoke of. They were closing in. She
didn’t protect me and my father didn’t nurture me. Reckless people, they were.
Reckless we, their children, are. We wreck everything that is beautiful so we
can feel beautiful. The children always pay the price for the parents’ sin.
Your father doesn’t sound like a reckless man. If anything he sounds like a
rare… good one. He’ll be okay. If not, I’ll be nice to people for at least two
weeks.”

           
I
hear a slight snicker and sense a smile and I know I’m finished here. I walk
away before she can gather the strength to respond.

JULIET

I don’t know why earlier Hugo told me
about his mum. I really don’t. Change of heart, I want to hope, but I don’t
want to get my hopes up, especially not now. It helped. The fact that he
trusted me with the truth. It helped he tried. It was his version of being nice
to me because he believes the only way to do that is to let me in. I just wish
he didn’t do it out of pity.

           
My
cellphone vibrates just as I’m trying to go to sleep. I quickly grab it, hoping
it’s my mum. It is. I hesitate. My heart stops and this phone call will
determine if it combusts or not.